I'm Nothing (The Family Book 2) (7 page)

“Sweetie, stay in the living room,” Charlene said.

“I never thought it was possible to hate life, and yet
that is exactly what I do. I hate life. More importantly, I hate
my
life, and there’s nothing I can do
about it. I’m probably rambling.” She sipped at the drink this time. “God, that
is so good. Do you know any places that will be open right now, and I could
drink?”

“No, I don’t.” Paige rubbed her stomach.

“You know, I always wondered about that. You and
Donnie were step-siblings but that didn’t stop you getting it on.”

“Zara?”

“At school everyone was going crazy, calling you guys
sick and incestuous. Some people are so dumb. Don’t they realize that you have
to actually be blood related to be called incestuous? You and Donnie are not
related.” Zara chuckled. She always found it funny when someone said that.

“What’s going on?” Tonio asked.

He was followed by Donnie, Jake, and Luiz.

“She’s getting drunk.”

Zara stared down at her glass. “I want to get fucked
up. Do you know a place that will allow fun, partying, and maybe even some
drugs?” She wanted to get radical. For once, she wanted to break her cycle of
being the good girl.

“What is all this?” Donnie asked.

“This is what happens when you’ve just realized that
you’ve been royally fucked but you’re still a virgin.” She burst out laughing.
“God, that’s funny. Can you imagine actually having sex? I can’t.” Running a
hand down her face, she shook her head, giggling. “So, how about that fun?”

“I can take you,” Tonio said.

“We don’t have time for this.”

“Lucien is out there. You’ve got to talk to Jake’s
father. You may as well do that without me, and I think she’s earned the right
to get fucked up. I’ll take care of her.”

“I don’t think that is a good idea,” Paige said.
“She’s just hurting right now.”

“No, I’m way beyond hurting. I never drank through
high school. I never had the bad boyfriend experience. I was never even kissed.
The first guy to show me any attention was some loser who was old enough to be
my dad. I’m not going to get any. I’m too fucking ugly, but I can get fucked
up.” She smiled at Tonio. “Are you going to take me to party?”

“When you own a casino, and pretty much every
nightclub around, you can find ways of getting fucked up.”

“Let’s go and get fucked up. This is what I want.” She
put the bottle down. “I’m ready.”

“Are you sure? You don’t want to change into something
pretty?”

Glancing down at her jeans and shirt, she shook her
head. “I don’t have anything pretty. This is it, buddy!”

“Fine, fine.” Tonio turned toward his friends. “You
guys can see yourselves out, right?”

She didn’t hear what was said as Tonio grabbed her
hand, leading her down toward the car. Zara was excited. She was finally going
to get to go out and party.

“I can’t wait, this is amazing.”

“How much have you had to drink?” he asked.

“Not enough. Don’t start whining. You’ll kill my buzz,
and I love my buzz.” They entered the elevator, and she giggled. “Do you know,
I love it in movies where the guy presses her up against the wall.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. It’s so fucking hot, and he’s kissing her like
he can’t stand to not kiss her. It’s so hot, and I looove it.” She kept on
giggling. The scotch had really worked wonders on her body and her mind. “Have
you ever been kissed in an elevator?”

“Nope, and I don’t intend to start now.” He pointed
toward a corner. “Someone is always watching. Always.”

Zara gave the camera a wave. “Hello, Mr. Security.”

Tonio laughed this time.

The elevator opened, and the chance of snogging was
lost.
Snogging?
Wasn’t that what the
British called it? Her own thoughts were starting to entertain her.

Tonio opened the car door for her.

“Thank you, sir,” she said.

Climbing into the passenger seat, she rested her head
back, waiting. Tonio climbed in, and they were off, out of the parking lot,
into the shiny world.

“Your mom is pretty upset.”

“I don’t care, Tonio. Keep whatever you know to
yourself. I’m more than happy to remain in the dark. Nothing good will come of
knowing what was going on in her head during the whole of that time.”

“You don’t think you’re being a little unfair?”

“Being the good daughter has taken priority over most
of my life. Good grades, no boys, nothing. It sucks. I’ve not been to any
parties, and I’ve already said all of this. No, it’s not fair, but you know
what, I don’t care. Mom and Dad got me into this mess, and for once, they can
just pretend I don’t exist. I want to have fun!” She slammed her hands on the
car seat. “Is that too much to ask?”

“No, it’s not.”

“Did you go to parties?” she asked.

“Yes. I’ve gone to parties.”

“Have you fucked a lot of girls?”

“Yes, I have.”

“Do you really think I’m pretty?” she asked.

“You’re just full of questions.”

She shrugged. “You’ve got to be full of something, and
today, I feel like having fun, but you keep asking questions. I’d like to have
a lot of fun rather than just talk about it.”

“We’re going. We’re heading toward fun.”

“Goody.” She rubbed her hands together. In the back of
her mind she knew this wasn’t going to help her. Once she had her fun
everything was going to be the same. Nothing had changed. In fact, her life
seemed to have gotten a whole lot worse, but for once, all she wanted to do was
to forget everything else.

They parked in another underground parking.

“Where are we?” Zara asked.

“You wanted to have fun. To have fun at eleven in the
morning, you’ve got to find the right places. Lucky for you, I know them.” He
parked his car, and climbed out.

Zara did the same, rounding the car with him. She
heard the heavy beat of the music, and they were once again in an elevator.

“What you are about to see must be kept a secret, do
you understand?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Good.”

“What am I going to see?”

“Hopefully, something crazy that is going to make you
run. You don’t strike me as the bad girl.”

She giggled. “It looks like today is going to be about
proving you wrong.”

“We shall see.”

The elevator doors opened up, and Tonio pulled her
inside. The music was loud, thumping off the walls. The dance-floor was full of
people thrusting to the music. Some were naked while others were still fully
clothed. The utter abandonment called to her. Glancing around the party scene,
she saw the white glow of drugs on the table.

“Well, what do you think?”

“What is this place?”

“It’s a private VIP place that allows anyone who can
afford it to come and get fucked.”

There were people fucking in the corner.

“Wow,” she said.

“Let’s get you that drink.”

She followed him toward the bar, where he ordered her
a drink.

“You’re not having one?”

“I’ve got to drive.”

Zara blew a raspberry. “Come on, have a drink. If
we’re going to get fucked up, I’m sure we can find a room.”

“Can you even afford a room?”

She laughed. “Ha, I can’t afford to rent, let alone a
room.”

The bartender handed her a pink looking cocktail.

“It’s strong,” Tonio said, warning her.

She knocked the cocktail back and almost threw up.
“You mixed orange and tomato juice?”

Tonio chuckled. “Get her the real thing.”

“Why would you do that?” she asked.

“It was just a bit of fun.”

Grabbing the bartender’s attention, she ordered Tonio
a drink. “I don’t want you to
not
have
fun.”

“Seriously, I’ve got to drive.”

“You own this place.” She stepped up close to him.
“Have a little fun. We may even get you laid.” The bartender put a cocktail
down for her and a scotch for Tonio. “Come on, Tonio. One day of going crazy,
and I promise I won’t bug you anymore.”

“You’re going to be living with me.”

“I won’t ask again.” She pressed her hand together,
begging. “Please, pretty please.”

“Fine. One entire day, and that is it.”

She clapped her hands. “Yay.”

Chapter Six

Tonio was fucked.

Well and truly fucked.

Zara knocked back her cocktail as if she was a pro.

Tonio:
Don, I
won’t be coming back today.

Donnie:
Stay
safe. Enemies are all around.

Pocketing his cell phone, he took a swig of his
scotch, and then made sure the bartender knew to give him soda afterward. This
wasn’t about him getting fucked up. This was about her having a good time. He
could get fucked up in the security of his own home, nursing a bottle of
scotch, and holding his gun.

“This is so much fun,” Zara said, turning toward the
dance-floor. “I want to go and dance. Are you coming to dance?”

“Yes. Let’s dance.”

He grabbed her hand, tugging her onto the dance-floor.
The beat was hard, heavy, and the moment they hit the floor, Zara started
swinging her hips. Tonio couldn’t help but watch her. She was totally free in
that moment even as her life was fucked beyond reason. Anthony Martinez and
Lucien West had a business outside of the family fold, something Donnie didn’t
have a clue about.

Tonio had to wonder if Jake’s father would have known
something. The Family was supposed to keep its business close to home. There
was not supposed to be any dealings with outsiders. Lucien West was an
outsider, a bookie who dealt with gambling and loan sharking. He was worse than
a soldier in their world. The deal The Family usually made was a percentage of
all earnings given to The Family. It was a tax of sorts to allow them to work
within their territory.

What Lucien was doing was more than paying his taxes. He
was bargaining with the devil, and now there was a select group of people
prepared to take over. They couldn’t let that happen. It would risk their lives
if it did happen, and he wouldn’t let it.

The music changed just like it always did, and
suddenly it was slow, sensual. It wasn’t the kind of music in a disco. This was
for grownups.

He saw a guy intending to grab Zara, and Tonio pulled
her close, placing a hand at the base of her back.

“This is kind of sexy.”

“Yes, it is.”

“I like your hands on me.”

He moved her hands so they were on her shoulders, and
he started to dance, sliding a leg between hers. Her pussy pressed against his
leg, and he wondered if she was wet. The fabric of their clothes separated
them, making him yearn for her.

It had been a long time since he’d had sex.

To him, Zara was a beautiful woman.

She was also pure, and he didn’t want to deflower
another virgin.

This would be willingly.

His father was fucked up, and he’s made a deal to make
real life porno movies with his teenage son. At night, his father would take
him down to the basement where the camera was set up. Whatever was going to
make the most money depended on what he had to do. Some nights, he fucked
random women and girls. On other nights, he beat the shit out of guys.

He didn’t want to even think about the times that his
father made him mix it up. Snuff movies was what they were called. Those were
the worst kind. Actually, everything he did in the basement was the worst kind.
He hated it, and hoped he’d never have to do it again.

“Where have you gone?” Zara asked.

“What?”

“You’ve stopped dancing. Keep on dancing.” She grabbed
his waist and started to move him to the beat of the music.

Everything else faded out, and Tonio got lost in her
blue eyes. The drinks had made her cheeks flush, and the clothes she wore hung
from her body. She used to be a lot bigger, he remembered that.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Not a lot. I’m just remembering a lot of crap.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. This is the kind of crap I’d not like to
remember.”

“You know you could talk about it.”

“Not tonight. It’s about getting fucked up.”

“It is!”

The music went back to being loud, and Tonio got lost in
the music, dancing with Zara as the time wore on. When she was thirsty, she
tugged him back to the bar where they were throwing back drinks.

Tonio, for the first time in his life, actually felt
happy. Once they finished a couple of drinks, they moved back onto the dance-floor.

“There’s a redhead at two o’clock. She’s been eye
fucking you for a long time,” Zara said.

He glanced over, and indeed there was a woman staring
at him. She was holding a drink to her lips. Sure, she was a sexy looking lady,
but Tonio wasn’t interested. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end,
and with the alcohol he’d been drinking, he didn’t know why.

“You should go over and talk to her.”

“Not going to happen. We’re here together.”

“You’re going to not get laid because of me?”

“No, I’m not getting laid because I don’t want to get
laid. You’re a strange girl,” he said.

“Yep, that is me, strange.” She shrugged.

“Maybe we should find you a guy for the night.”

She scrunched up her nose. “No, you’ve not got a
chance of that happening, babe. Tonight, I want to party and have fun. Pretend
that you’re my friend, and that everything is totally awesome.”

“I am your friend,” he said.

“Oh, you are?”

“I don’t go protecting women from just anyone, Zara.
You’re a friend, and I care about you.”

She paused, and they were both still on the dance-floor.
Everyone was dancing around them, and he found that there was a beauty to Zara
that may not be the conventional one, but to him, she was.

“You are?”

“Yes, I’m your friend. I’ve never opened my home to
Donnie, Luiz, or Jake.”

“We barely know each other.”

“I know more about you than you might think.”

“Oh yeah, like what?”

Tonio grabbed her hand, leading her back to the bar.
To get into this, he needed another drink. The bartender was already waiting
and ready.

She sipped at her cocktail, and he knocked back his
scotch, relishing the sudden burn as it slid down his throat. “God, I love
that.”

“What do you know?”

“I know that you’re a virgin. You’ve never been
kissed, and you’ve never known the kind of intimacy that you’ve watched on the
movies. I also know that you’re embarrassed by the situation you’re in, and
angry.”

“That’s easy to understand.”

“Yes, it’s easy, but what I’ve also come to see is
that you speak a lot when you’re angry, or when you’re scared. You tell a great
deal about yourself, and that’s how I know you. Not to mention that you were
kind enough to let me cheat in school. You’re nice, and you visit your father.
You’re loyal, as otherwise you’d have gone away to college. Instead, you fought
for the past year and a half, probably even while we were in high school to
make ends meet, cooking pizza, and trying to be everything that everyone asks
of you. Am I right so far?”

“You are right, and I hate you for it.”

“You were a smarty pants, and you’ve never known what
a fun day is like.”

“So, you should be trying to get me kissed at least. I
don’t want sex, just a kiss.” She turned to look at the crowd, and he didn’t
like it. He didn’t like not being her center of attention. Placing his scotch
down on the counter, he cupped her cheek, turning her to look at him.

Her skin was so smooth to the touch, and he wanted
her. He wanted her so damn badly.

“What are you doing?”

“Something you’ve been wanting for a long time.” He
closed the distance between them, and pressed his lips against hers.

At first, she was tense in his arms, and when he
opened his eyes, he saw she was staring at him.

Pulling away only slightly, he stroked her cheek. “You
know, kissing works by you actually kissing me back.”

“I don’t know how to do that.”

“Yes, you do. Just copy what I’m doing, and then do
it.”

“Wait, this isn’t going to change anything, is it?”
she asked.

“No, it’s not going to change a thing, other than the
fact you’ve been kissed.”

She nodded, and this time she leaned in close, kissing
him back. Zara held the back of his head and pressed her lips up against his.
Sinking his fingers into her hair, he held her tightly against him.

Her soft body turned him on. She was a lot softer than
many of the women he’d been with.

Tonio stroked his tongue over her lip, and she opened
up, inviting him in.

He slowly stopped the kiss. Tonio wasn’t interested in
the redhead. He was only interested in the woman in his arms.

“Now, are you ready to go and get fucked up?”

****

Zara’s lips tingled, and she looked up at him, wishing
she could have been that redhead.

Tonio led her onto the dance-floor, and she danced
until her feet hurt, and she was getting hungry.

“I’ve got to use the bathroom,” Zara said.

“I’ll be waiting for you. We’ll go and get some food.”

“You know where we can go?”

“It’s just a walk down the street. We’ll be fine.”

“I won’t be long.” She left the dance-floor and made
her way toward the bathroom, surprised to see it wasn’t actually busy.

Pushing her hair out of her face, she entered the
bathroom and did her business. Flushing the toilet, she left the stall, and was
met by the redhead who’d been eye fucking Tonio. Zara offered her a smile, and
washed her hands.

“You know, girls like you don’t snag guys like him,”
the redhead said. “For your own sake, you should leave him alone.”

Up close, Zara saw the thick layers of makeup covering
the woman’s age.

“You do know Tonio’s like twenty, and you don’t look young
enough to be his girlfriend,” Zara said.

“There’s a lot more of pleasure to be had with an
older woman. Besides, that boy is dangerous. You should walk away from him.”

It sounded like a warning, but Zara couldn’t be sure.
Maybe the alcohol had finally gotten to her.

“Yeah, the whole cougar thing. It’s great, but as you
can see, he’s taken.”

The woman sighed. “You’re a plain girl. You’ll
probably find that he’s screwing you as some kind of bet.”

Zara rolled her eyes. “How old are you?”

“None of your business. I’m trying to do you a favor.”

“That was actually a rhetorical question. I’m out of
here.”

“Watch your back,” the redhead said.

Zara left the bathroom, not giving the warning much
thought. Tonio was waiting. “Do I want to know what you and the redhead
discussed?”

“How you’re totally into the whole cougar thing, and
you wouldn’t even look twice at me, so it has to be over some kind of bet. Now that
I think about it, she was really insulting. I guess I’m just used to it.”

“It’s not something you should be used to. Come on,
let’s go and have something to eat.”

She took the hand that he offered, and forgot about
the woman with the flaming red hair.

“So, you’ve been kissed, you’ve gotten drunk, what
next?”

“Oh, we also had fun, which is new for me. Let’s see,
we’ve got sex. Are you going to do that?”

“Not while you’re drunk. When you’re sober we’ll talk
about it.”

“Yay,” she said, giggling. She doubted they would talk
about it at all. Zara wasn’t going to be asking any man for sex. The whole
concept was just embarrassing.

“What are you in the mood for?”

“Hot dog or a burger. Something really wrong, and
really fattening. Do you think you can find that at—what time o’clock is it?”

“It’s after two, so we’re going to blend right in.” He
held onto her waist, and Zara liked the heat of his palm traveling up her body.

They left the all partying club in search of food.

“We’re not taking your car?”

“Nope. I can’t drive it, and cops would give their
fucking nuts to throw my ass in jail. I don’t have many fans out there.”

“You don’t? I thought you were the loving kind of
guy.”

He chuckled. “Besides Donnie, Luiz, and Jake, you’re
the only one I’ve talked to, and who has gotten me to laugh.”

“I don’t believe that for a second.” The world was
spinning a little. The buzz from the alcohol was a nice replacement for fear.

“Believe it. I’ve never been close. Being the son of a
mafia leader, you kind of have to keep to yourself.”

“Jake’s father is still alive?”

“Yeah, he was a soldier, so he was different.” Tonio
laughed. “Dad hated it when we hung out with Jake. He believed there was a
hierarchy, and Jake didn’t fit in with our world. He was a minion, a goon,
someone that was expendable.”