I'm Nothing (The Family Book 2) (5 page)

“A chart?” Tonio asked.

“You know, like a menu of what they are willing to do
for how much. From what I remember, swallowing costs extra.” Zara now
shuddered. It was crude, and she’d hated that the parlor was next door. She’d
never seen any of the women there.

“Do you think it’s a front?” Luiz asked.

“Selling women?” Donnie asked. “Could be. We took out
many of their businesses, but it doesn’t mean that there aren’t more.”

“What about if it’s something else? Laundering money,
cleaning it? People get a nice massage, look the other way,” Tonio said.

“We’re constantly finding how dirty our parents were,
I’d say it’s possible. I wouldn’t be surprised if Lucien didn’t take advantage
of the situation,” Luiz said.

“Does your father know anything?” Donnie asked,
turning toward Jake.

Zara watched as the blond one shrugged.

“I can find out.”

“See what you can do. I want to know everything.”

She tensed up as Donnie turned toward her. “Why did
Lucien attack you?”

Her cheeks heated. “I’d rather not—”

“I wasn’t asking.”

“Donnie, enough. Imagine if it was Paige.”

“We’re being attacked left, right, and fucking center.
This piece of shit thinks he can start hurting people, take our money, and
think we’re not getting away with it. Killing our parents caused an uproar, and
if we don’t get a handle on it, we’re the ones that are going to six feet
under. You got it?”

The two friends stared at each other, and as the
seconds passed, Zara couldn’t handle the tension.

“He wanted my virginity.”

All four men turned toward her, looking confused.

“Lucien. He said I was too ugly to sell, but he’d
never popped a cherry. He was willing to wipe the slate clean if he could pop
it. I refused. I was grossed out. He was old enough to be my dad, and it was so
gross. He lost his temper, and that’s when he started to attack me, saying he’d
take it anyway.” She shuddered, wrapping her arms around her waist. Just saying
the words didn’t help her at all. Speaking it out load made it all the more
real.

“I never liked Lucien,” Luiz said. “He was a spineless
bastard.”

“Well he’s now got a hole in his foot. If there’s
backlash, he’s part of it, and he won’t stop either,” Tonio said.

“It looks like we know what we’re doing for the next
couple of weeks.” Donnie turned to look at Tonio. “Do you think you can handle
it?”

“Yeah, why not?”

“You’ve been locking yourself away with your father’s
computer.”

“I can handle it. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Donnie glanced over at her. “I take it you get the
drill?”

“Drill? What drill?”

“You talk, you say anything to anybody, and we kill
you.”

“Yeah, it’s not going to happen.” She zipped her lips.

She watched as each man walked out of Tonio’s
apartment. Rubbing her arms, she turned to the large window and stared out over
the city. This was the kind of luxury she had only ever dreamed about. Crime
clearly did pay.

“Your mom has settled in. She knows to keep her mouth shut
as well.”

“I imagine so. Tonight wasn’t the first time Lucien
has paid a visit. When my father was alive, I remember him being there as
well.” She rubbed at her arms, not turning to face him.

“You don’t have to be scared.”

“I don’t?” She turned to look at him then. “I
witnessed you beat a man, and nearly shoot him.”

“But I didn’t kill him, which is actually an
improvement for me.” His hands were inside his pockets, and he looked so
relaxed, so calm.

“Thank you,” she said.

“What for?”

“For saving me. I can’t think of a worse thing to
happen to a woman, and you stopped it. I don’t know what I would have done if
you hadn’t come for me.”

His stomach growled. “Yeah, I didn’t get that food.
Don’t worry, I have noodles, which helps all stomachs.”

She chuckled. “So, the whole mafia thing is real.”

“I did tell you.”

“Well, being told it, and seeing it with my own eyes
is a little scary.”

“Scary? I’m passed being scared.”

“Do you feel anything?”

“I felt rage earlier. Does that count?”

“It does.” She took a seat at his kitchen counter,
watching him as he grabbed several packs of noodles from his stash. She’d never
seen so many packets outside of a supermarket. “Earlier you said you had a lot
to make up for. What did you mean?”

He sighed. “Why is it that when I’m with you I feel
comfortable enough to talk about all my secrets?”

“You know I’m a virgin.”

“Yeah, you see, it’s not the same.”

“I guess not.”

Tonio rested his hands on the counter, and he stared
across at her. “Being the son of one of the heads of the mafia doesn’t allow
you to have a life of innocence.”

“You’ve done bad things?”

“I’ve done things that stop me looking in the mirror.
If you knew half of what I did, you wouldn’t even want to be in the same room
as me.”

Zara frowned. “Then why help me?”

“Huh?”

“If you’ve done so many bad things, why did you help
me? You could have just left me alone. From what I heard, Lucien was supposed
to be working for you. Why not let me rot?”

“I thought you’d be happy with my help?”

“I am. I’m just not used to it.”

He nodded, and she felt bad.

“Would you like me to cook for you?”

“I can handle noodles. It’s the easiest thing in the
world to cook.”

“I can think of something easier, but I’m going to
stay completely silent, and pretend that I do not exist.”

“That sounds like a good plan. So, you’re a virgin,
huh?” he asked.

“I take it you’re not.”

“I lost that card many years ago, probably long before
I was actually ready for it.”

“I doubt that. I thought men were supposed to be hound
dogs, and more than ready to lose that card.”

“We are supposed to be, but it doesn’t actually mean
that we are.”

She watched him do the mundane task of filling up a
saucepan with water, and she thought about it.

“I’m too plain for anyone to have sex with. It’s what
Lucien was right about. I’m the plain one that usually ends up being friends
with the guys. You don’t even have to lie about it. I know it’s the truth. I
accepted it long ago.” She laughed, recalling her father. “My dad once said
that there was going to be a guy out there who’d find me the most beautiful
woman in the world. It’s nice what parents would say, huh?”

“My dad always told me I was nothing. I wonder if he
still thought that when I was killing him?”

Wow, he wins the most depressing story.
It was weird. He mentioned about killing his father, and yet she was not
afraid. She really needed to have her brain looked at.

Chapter Four

“This is your room. I’m just across the hall,” Tonio
said.

“Thank you.”

“You’ve got your own bathroom, and if you need
anything, I have stuff in the kitchen.”

“More noodles?”

“Those noodles were nice. You can’t deny that.”

“No, I can’t deny that.” She entered the bedroom, and
Tonio made to walk away. “I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”

He leaned against the doorframe, folding his arms
across his chest. Tonio stared at her, wondering what was going on in that head
of hers. She was thinner than he recalled her being at high school. The stress
of her life had clearly eaten away at her. He’d found his high school yearbook,
and the moment he saw her, the memories of copying from her came flooding back.

“I don’t even think you know what’s going to happen to
your life now.”

“What do you mean?”

“You can’t go back to the pizza place. Well, you can,
but you’re not going to go back alone. You’re going to have protection. You can
keep running the shop but until we know what is going on, you’re going to have
a guard on you. We’re also going to need to question your mother. We need to
know everything.”

“What are you saying?”

“I saved you tonight, but there is no out from this. You’ll
have a target on your head if we let you go.”

“Is that why you said I belonged to you?”

“Yeah. I claimed you as my own. I don’t expect
anything from you.”

“As your girlfriend?” she asked.

“I’m going to let you get some rest. It has been a
long night.” He left her alone, and entered his own room. Closing the door, he
went to the desk that had his father’s laptop on it. He was too wired to
actually go to sleep, so, removing his shirt, he started working on hacking his
father’s files. His father was in to some deep illegal shit. The more he
uncovered, the more he was sickened by it.

He wasn’t the only one they used to film fighting and
fucking. If he’d had his friends working on this, he’d have gotten it done by
now. Tonio didn’t want any of them to know. Once they knew, it would make
everything more real. He already had his nightmares to keep him up.

Running a hand down his face, he kept on searching the
files, and when he discovered one hidden away, he clicked on it. The name of
the file was his name. It was password protected like everything else.

Typing his father’s name, Tonio huffed when that
didn’t open it. Next, he tried his mother’s name, followed by the six
mistresses his father had kept over the years. None of them worked. Birthdays
didn’t work, nor did the pathetic password, one, two, three.

Sitting back, he stared at the file that he had spent
months looking for. He was sure everything he wanted to hide was hidden in that
file. He tried to delete it but once again, nothing. It wasn’t just the file he
wanted to access, Tonio was sure the file also contained the contact details of
everyone involved in that kind of shit.

Rubbing at his eyes, he finally conceded defeat for
the night. It was getting late, and he was starting to get tired. Removing his
pants, he walked naked into the shower room, and had a quick wash. Ten minutes
later, he was heading back into his bedroom when he heard the scream. Grabbing
his gun from the bed, he rushed into Zara’s room, only to find her sitting up.

Flicking on the light, he stared at her.

“It’s nothing. It was a bad dream. I’m so sorry.”

She was holding her chest, panting.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” She wore a shirt that he’d left in
the bedroom, and it seemed to swallow her up. Was he really that much bigger
than she was? “You’re naked?”

He glanced down to find that he was indeed naked. “The
towel dropped.” Ready to hurt whoever the intruder was, his cock remained
flaccid. He didn’t get off on pain. Years of being forced to, he’d made a vow
never to get off on it again. It wasn’t who he was. He wasn’t the animal.

“You’re nothing, boy!”

She covered her eyes. “God, I’m so sorry for looking.”

“Why? I’m not. It’s just a cock. Was your bad dream
about what happened?”

She nodded. “Yeah, I thought I’d be fine, but it seems
I’m not immune to shit like that.”

“Do you want me to stay with you?” he asked.

Zara bit her lip and nodded. “If you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind.” He glanced down at his naked dick. “I
better go and get some clothes on first.”

“Yeah, that would be good.”

He left her long enough to grab a pair of shorts.
Quickly rushing back into her room, he climbed in beside her.

“Thank you,” she said.

“Hey, nothing to be thankful for.” He settled in
beside her, staring up at the ceiling. This was the first time he’d actually
slept in a woman’s bed. It was kind of strange. Technically it was his bed, but
for now, Zara was inside it.

“You’re up late.”

“I was working.”

“Is there anything I can help you with?” she asked,
rolling over.

He turned to find her hands tucked beneath her head.

She’s a virgin.

Tonio had lost count of the number of virgins he’d
fucked. The number of girls and women he’d played with for the amusement of his
father.

“No. This is not something anyone can help me with.”

“A problem shared is a problem halved.”

Too many people he didn’t know, knew about his past.

“This isn’t the kind of thing you share.”

Silence fell between them, and he liked the way she
looked, all soft and happy.

“I knew you copied from me,” she said, startling him.

“You did.”

“Yep.” She smiled. “You always looked so sad that I
doubted you ever studied for the exams that the teacher liked to give us. I
didn’t want you to fail.”

“That’s … nice.”

She giggled. “Are you not used to people being nice to
you?”

“No.”

“What about your parents?”

“No. They’re dead.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. I killed them.” She tensed up, and he
cursed. “Fuck! What is it about you that makes me spill my fucking secrets?”

“You know I’m not going to tell anyone?”

“That can’t be it. Why wouldn’t you tell anyone?” he
asked. “Aren’t you afraid?”

She frowned. “No, isn’t that weird? Maybe getting my
face smashed against a desk has messed with my head.”

He reached out, pushing back a strand of her blonde
hair. “You’re so beautiful,” he said.

She laughed. “Yeah, right. I’m not an idiot. I know
I’m not beautiful. I wasn’t even good enough to be sold.”

Tonio ran his thumb across her lip, finding her
enthralling.

Zara wasn’t beautiful in the usual sense. She had a
strange kind of beauty. She was pure, and caring, loving. How many women would
stay behind and help their parents? There weren’t many. Tonio had only stayed
because there was nowhere else for him to go.

“You’re beautiful to me.” He pulled his hand away, and
he saw tears in her eyes.

She stared at him. “Did he hit your head?”

“No. Maybe I’m tired.”

“Maybe we should go to sleep?”

“Are you asking me?”

She giggled. “I don’t know.”

Tonio found himself smiling.

“You’re the first guy I’ve ever been to bed with.”

“You’re the first girl I’ve been with.”

“Really? I figured you’d be the kind of guy who is
with a girl every night.”

“I’m not. I’ve fucked them.”

“What about the girl at the graveyard? Wasn’t she
someone special?”

Tonio sighed. He had thought she was someone special to
him, the one woman to love for the rest of his life. “Can I ask you a
question?”

“Yes. I’m not going anywhere.”

“If you were part of a family of people that dealt
with death, and you had the choice between running away with the man you love,
or staying to marry someone you hated and beat you, who would you choose?”

“Is this a trick question?”

“No.”

“I’d be with the man I love.”

“What if it meant giving up luxury, and you had to
work hard?”

“Tonio, I
do
work
hard. I’d rather work hard, knowing I was going home to someone I loved than
someone who was going to hurt me. I don’t like pain. I never have.” She
shrugged. “Why do you ask?”

He shook his head.

Maria had never loved him.

She was just using him to entertain herself.

“Nothing.”

“Tonio, we were never close, but you don’t strike me
as the kind of guy who asks something for no good reason.”

“Let’s just say I was curious about something.”

“Did a woman in your life pick her abusive husband
rather than you?”

Tonio cupped her cheek. “Yes.”

“I can’t really answer for the woman in your life.”

“She’s the one who is dead, Zara.”

“I didn’t know her. There could have been any reason
for it.”

“You and I both know that’s not true.”

“I’m just a woman, and I’m a weirdo.”

“You’re good for me, Zara.”

She reached out, and touched his cheek. “Thank you,
Tonio.”

“Get some sleep now. I’m here, and nothing is going to
happen to you.”

Zara pulled away, and tucked her hand beneath her
cheek. He couldn’t look away from her.

Slowly, she started to relax, and her breaths grew deeper.

Tonio watched, fascinated as sleep claimed her. Was
this what Donnie saw when he looked at Paige?

His best friend was totally besotted with his woman,
his wife. Donnie and Paige had made him question everything when it came to
Maria.

If she really loved him, wouldn’t she have run away
with him?

None of it made any sense to him anymore, and he
didn’t like it.

Years of wanting Maria, and now he was finding out he
was only a passing fancy to her.

****

Wearing one of Tonio’s shirts, Zara made her way into
the kitchen and started to make him breakfast. Last night, she had fallen
asleep so peacefully. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d been so happy to
sleep. Most nights she lay awake thinking of Lucien, and the mess that her
father had created.

Whipping up some pancakes, she found the action
soothing. There was so much more she could do than make pizza. It was nice to
finally do something different.

Humming to herself, she started to cook them just as
Tonio came out of the bedroom.

His hair was all over the place as if they had been
having sex. “What are you doing?”

“Pancakes? I can do more than pizza, and I wanted to
say thank you for staying with me last night, and for also saving me.” She was
rambling.

“Pancakes?”

“Yes, pancakes. You do like them, right?”

He stared at the pan, and she quickly flipped the
batter over so it wouldn’t burn. “Yes, I like them.”

“Good.” She patted the counter where there was a
chair. “Take a seat.”

There wasn’t much she could do but cook and bake was
one of them.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked.

“Yeah, I did. What about you?”

He nodded.

She didn’t like the silence during the day. At night
she could make the excuse that they were both tired. Now, she just wanted to
keep conversation going. “Here, eat up, and let me know what you think.” Zara
poured over some syrup that she found in the fridge. “So, I was thinking I
could go shopping for you. I can cook more than pizza as I’ve said many times.”

“Zara, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s just…” She didn’t know what else to say.
“I enjoyed last night, and even though it’s weird, I feel comfortable with
you.”

“You’re free to stay here. I can’t let you go back to
the pizza place until we know what is going on with Lucien. I’m not an asshole.
Well, there are people who would say differently, but I’m not.”

She chuckled, taking a seat opposite him. “I’m not
expecting anything.”

“I happen to enjoy last night. It was nice just
talking. I haven’t been around many women with the whole just talking thing.”

She was a little different.

Zara was going to see the positive in what happened
last night. After a bad dream, Tonio had been there to comfort her.

“So, what are the plans for today?”

Tonio opened his mouth to speak just as the doorbell
rang.