I'm Nothing (The Family Book 2) (2 page)

“I’ll be there soon.”

Closing the phone, Tonio let it drop to the floor.
Gripping the edge of the table, He counted to ten, trying to make sense of the
shit that had just been said.

Maria was dead.

Her baby was dead.

Everything he cared about, everyone he loved, was
dead.

Lifting the table with the laptop, he threw it against
the far wall, watching it splinter apart. The destruction wasn’t enough.

He reached for whatever was closest and started to
tear apart his apartment. Tonio had been baby proofing it in the hope that one
day Maria would remember the love they had once shared.

All of it was gone.

Grabbing the fridge in the kitchen, he tugged,
toppling it over. Around his apartment, he destroyed everything in his wake
until there was nothing left. Once he was finished, he stared around him, and
went to his bedroom. Putting on a suit, he slicked back his hair, and left his
apartment.

His friends needed him.

For the time being, he still had them.

Chapter One

Tonio stared down at the grave. It had been three
weeks since they had buried mother and daughter, side by side. Luiz had made
sure she had a proper burial. The gravestone was beautiful, surrounded by all
of her favorite flowers, daisies, daffodils, and even plain white roses. She
once told him she loved white roses as she believed nothing in her life would
ever be pure. Maria and her baby wouldn’t be tainted by the presence of their
family.

“I hope you can find peace now, Maria,” he said.

“What are you doing here?” Luiz asked.

Turning around, he saw one of his best friends coming
toward him. Luiz was Maria’s brother, and he was also carrying some roses,
white ones.

“Just coming to talk to her.”

“She’s dead. She can’t hear you.”

Gritting his teeth, Tonio stared at the ground,
refusing to bite to the callous comment.

“You loved my sister,” Luiz said.

“Yes.”

“She loved you.”

“Not enough.” Tonio shoved his hands in his pockets as
the chill in the spring air was starting to get to him. It should be warming up
soon, but at the moment, it wasn’t showing any sign of doing so.

Luiz placed the roses at the head of her stone,
throwing away the dead ones as he did. Out of all four of the gang, Luiz was
always the cold one. Nothing seemed to break through his icy shell.

“Yeah, Maria was fucking selfish right now, but then
again, she always was.”

“Don’t, Luiz. You don’t need to make me feel better.”

“I’m not trying to.” Luiz stood up, leaving the dead
foliage around Maria’s grave. “I’m not blind. I knew you two were into each
other. At first, I thought I should stop it, but then, Maria was going to marry
someone else. I wanted my parents to get a royal fuck you. They married her
off. I should have been the one to protect her.”

“You knew?”

“That you were screwing my sister? Yes, I knew.”

“You didn’t do anything about it.”

“In our family, we do what we can to survive. Look
what happened to Maria. She was always the good girl, and yet, they still
passed her off to some bastard who abused her. We do what we can to survive,
Tonio. We all do. Maria, she got a little bit of happiness.”

“And she would rather die than come back to me.”

“I never said Maria was all that bright. She did what
she had to do. What you never seemed to get was the fact Maria was selfish. You
never saw it, but she was. She knew she was getting married, and yet she still
played around.”

“Don’t talk about her like that,” Tonio said.

Luiz held his hands up. “You’re one of my best
friends, Tonio. I care about you, I do. You’re going to have to face the facts
that Maria used you, and she just couldn’t handle that kind of guilt.”

He shook his head. “I need a drink.”

“Tonio?”

“No, I don’t need to hear this right now.”

Maria had been a selfish bitch. In the early days of
their relationship, Tonio had done everything he could to try to make it so
they could run away together. They could have made it, too, so long as they
both worked together, and they had each other. Maria wouldn’t go with him. He
was prepared to fight for her, and she didn’t want to live with a boy who
didn’t have much money.

“Our life isn’t perfect, Tonio, but I like the luxuries.”

“They’re going to marry you off to someone.”

“Yeah, so?”

“What?”

“So I marry some boring old dude. I like this life. I like being able to
buy what I like, Tonio. You’re asking me to give that up for what?”

Rubbing his eyes, Tonio tried to clear the memory from
his head. It was a fucked up moment between them, and he hated it.

Maria
had
been
selfish, and that memory was of the last time they had spoken in private. She
had been married two months later. He couldn’t help but wonder if she ever
regretted not taking his offer. Tonio would have worked hard for her. He loved
her, and still did love her.

God, he was fucked.

He was in love with a selfish bitch who was prepared
to marry someone she hated just so she didn’t have to work for a living.

Tonio wasn’t watching where he was going, and as he
dropped his hand from his eyes, he knocked into someone, who gave a little cry.

Glancing down he saw first the blonde hair, which was
so long. She pushed it out of her face, and he frowned as he looked down at
her. Tonio recognized her, but he couldn’t be sure where.

“I’m so sorry,” she said.

“Why are you sorry?”

“I was in your way.” She scrambled to her feet,
holding her hands out in front of her.

“I walked into you.”

“Yeah, but I was standing here.” She bent down picking
up some flowers.

“I know you,” he said.

“We, erm, we went to school together.”

“We did?”

She gave a nervous chuckle. “Yeah. You sat behind me
in biology and physics.”

Shit!
This was the girl he used to copy from.

“I remember.”

“Zara Summers,” she said, holding out her hand.

“Tonio.”

“I know.”

He shook her head, aware of how soft her hands were,
and compared to his, how small.

“Are you visiting someone?” he asked.

“My dad.”

“You’re meeting your dad here?”

“No.” She pointed at the gravestone. “He had a heart
attack about three years ago. He didn’t make it, so every Sunday, I come here,
and I leave flowers. You?”

“A girl who I loved.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well, they don’t always love you back.”

She frowned. “I don’t know what to say to that. Was
she from our year?”

“No. She was older than us by a couple of years.
Married too.”

“It does get easier as time goes. I don’t know if
anyone has ever told you that.”

“Yeah. I’ve been told that.”

“I know it’s as clichéd as it comes, but it does.
You’ll move on, and everything will be okay.”

Tonio wasn’t about to dispute her. She was only trying
to help. “What are you doing now? Are you at college?”

He saw the disappointment flicker in her gaze.

“No, I’m not at college.”

“Why not? You were smart.”

“You didn’t even remember me a few seconds ago. How
would you even know if I was smart?”

“I cheated on the tests, and I always got an A for it.
Figured you were smart.”

She smirked. “I always knew you were copying. Well, I
wasn’t always
sure
, I had a hunch you
were.”

Tonio laughed, and it was the first time he actually
felt like doing it.

“Can I buy you a coffee?” he asked.

Zara stared down at her flowers. “Coffee?”

“Yeah, why not? It might help the both of us get over
this awful feeling.”

“I’d like that. I’ll just put these down.”

“I’ll stand back and let you have your moment.” He
stood back, and watched as she placed the flowers on the grave. She spoke
quietly, but he was close enough to hear her.

“Hey, Dad. I can’t stay too long today. Mom needs me
back at the shop to help her with the cooking. I’m taking care of her, just
like you asked me to. It’s not the same without you. They haven’t closed us
down yet though. I’m working hard, and trying to make sure we don’t go under.
Love you, Dad.” She pressed her fingers, and placed them against the stone
before turning back to him. “I’m ready.”

Walking side by side, Tonio glanced back to see Luiz
watching him. He, Luiz, Donnie, and Jake had all been friends a long time. They
knew when to take a step back, and when to step forward. This was the time for
Luiz to stay back.

They left the graveyard together.

Great, Tonio. You’re now picking girls up from the graveyard.

“So what are you doing nowadays?” she asked.

“Not much.”

“Do you still hang out with your friends?”

“Yeah.”

“I heard Paige and Donnie got married. They were a
nice couple.”

“How did you know?”

“School, rumors, and the paper. Their wedding was
announced, along with a lot of other things.”

Tonio was aware of the rumors that surrounded the four
of them. “Do you listen to rumors?”

“Not all the time, but Paige and Donnie were kind of
hard to ignore. They were not quiet about their relationship.”

He chuckled. It was the first time he’d actually
enjoyed going to school, just to watch the shock on their faces.

****

Zara walked beside Tonio Guzman, and her heart was
pounding. She couldn’t believe that she was about to have coffee with Tonio,
one of the men from her school who was rumored to be part of the mafia. Over
the years she tried to ignore all the rumors, but it was hard, considering
there was always a cloud of anger and violence hanging over them.

She had seen their violence firsthand, and she had
walked away.

None of them knew that she had seen them beating the
crap out of some guy. At first she was going to go to the cops, but when she
heard that the guy they were beating on had raped a couple of girls, she hadn’t
cared.

She’d been scared to say anything.

“You’re quiet,” he said.

“There’s not a lot to say.”

“Are you scared?”

“What? No, of course not.”
Complete and total lie.
She was terrified of him.

And now you’re going for coffee.

He took hold of her hand and placed it through his
arm. “It’s cold out today.”

“It should be warming up soon. That’s what I’ve heard.
I don’t know if it will actually do that, but we’ll see.” She was rambling
again.

Tonio stopped in a coffee shop that looked quite cute
and quaint.

She was surprised as he held a seat out for her, and
she took it, unbuttoning her jacket as it was warm inside the shop.

“What would you like?” he asked.

“I’ll take a coffee and a cinnamon bun. I can pay.”

He placed a hand on her shoulder. “My treat.”

Nodding, she licked her lips, and watched as he walked
over to be served.

Tonio was a large man, like the rest of his friends.
She had noticed him in high school, as every girl had.

They were not in high school now, and he looked meaner,
harder, fiercer than she remembered. He wore a suit, and she saw the way the
arms of the jacket looked stretched over his arms.

Seconds later he came back, taking a seat. “Our drinks
will be over shortly.”

Tucking her hair behind her ear, she promised herself
to get it cut. It was an unruly mess, which annoyed her all the time.

“So what do you do?” They both asked the same
question.

“I work at our family’s pizza shop,” she said.

“Pizza shop?”

“My father was from Italy, and his father before him,
I think. Anyway, we have a pizza shop downtown, and I work there. I bake the
pizzas, work in the shop, gather supplies, stuff like that.” It was hard work,
and tiring.

She loved to cook and to bake, but she hadn’t wanted
to spend her life in a pizza shop. Her father dying of a heart attack had
changed her life, and what she was supposed to do. No college, no future, just
pizza.

There was a time she’d loved pizza, but now she
couldn’t stand it. The taste made her sick, and the scent made her hate it. She
kept on working because she knew her father would be proud of her.

“Your turn?”

“I work at the family casino, and sometimes as a
bouncer.”

“At nineteen, that’s a lot of responsibility.” She was
afraid to ask about the rumors.

“I grew up fast.”

Licking her lips, she gasped as the waitress placed
their coffees and buns in front of them.

“I don’t recall seeing you much around school,” he
said.

She smiled. “I wasn’t exactly the kind of girl you
paid attention to.”

“Kind of girl?”

Zara wasn’t beautiful. She was plain. No one paid
attention to her. It was why guys like Tonio copied from her work without even
knowing her name. She didn’t mind. Zara had accepted that she wasn’t pretty.

“You know, pretty. Startling to look at in a sexy kind
of way.”

He took a sip of his coffee, while she bit into her
cinnamon bun. “You’ve got a very low opinion of me.”