Unspoken (5 page)

Seventeen

I knew Jackson was a good guy when I realized that he didn’t tell any of his friends that we had slept together. Alexa hadn’t said a thing since I’d gotten to her place for one of Connor’s famous barbecues. If Connor knew he would’ve told Alexa and I would’ve heard about it at some point. So, here we were at the barbecue Jackson was outside talking to some guys that were flipping burgers and having beers while I watched him from afar in the house. He felt my eyes on him and looked at me and smiled. I grinned.

“Obviously you two are doing that creepy thing,” said Alexa giving me a beer and I took it.

“It’s not creepy,” I said as I kept seeing him being him among guys.

“It could be extremely romantic if I wasn’t so envious of it,” said Alexa shrugging and I laughed. Jackson turned to look at me again and gave me that smile,
Can’t wait to get you alone
. I bit my bottom lip and felt a shiver down my spine.

“You slept with him,” said Alexa and I didn’t say a thing. It wasn’t that I didn’t want her to know, I just wanted it to be something between Jackson and I for a little longer. Something only we knew.

“Oh my God,” she said shaking her head “You are not a virgin anymore,” I looked at her and grinned.

“Nope,” I said giving a sip of my beer.

“You are in love,” said Alexa and I didn’t say a thing. I was, I was completely in love but I didn’t want to say it out loud. What Jackson and I had wasn’t acknowledged by any of us. We still called each other friends, we never made plans together, and we’d decided that we’d see each other in social occasions or unplanned visits. Everything had been decided in an unspoken way much like our secret conversations. I guess we knew there was no point on labeling us when he was leaving when the summer was over. To be honest, I was terrified of that moment but I had also decided that I was going to live the time I had with him to the fullest and worry about his absence once he was gone.

“Were you safe?” I heard Alexa’s voice and I nodded yes. “Good, you don’t want to end up pregnant and have a kid running after you,” She visibly shuddered and went outside.

I went to get another beer when I felt a pair of hands around my waist and I knew it was Jackson so I just smiled. “Alexa knows,” I said still not turning around to look at him.

“Is that bad?” he asked kissing my neck. I was about to combust in the spot.

“No, not really,” I said finally turning around looking at him.

“We don’t need to define what we have to know that it’s especial. You know that, right?” he said looking me in the eye. I nodded. I knew, I was as sure of us as I was of the fact that all I wanted to do for the rest of my life was bake.

“Good,” he kissed me quickly on the lips and grabbed me by the hand “come outside,” he said.

“Too sunny, I burn easily.” I said shrugging “you go.”

“I’ll bring you back a burger,” he smiled and I nodded. Jackson was perfect for me. We were perfect together and my heart knew it. It was a bittersweet agony.

I was in the bakery baking up a storm because Jackson had stopped by that morning to say that he needed to go to Manhattan to attend some client issues and he’d be back later that night. Why would he feel the need to let me know what his plans were? Were we ever that kind of people? Why did he think that I wanted to know if he was going back? I was terrified that he wasn’t coming back and I had thrown all my frustration into cooking cinnamon bun and blue cheese muffins.

To make matters worse my mother had stopped by to let me know there was going to be a formal at the country club and she wanted me to attend with her and father. I hadn’t gone to those things in forever but she needed me there because my father was nominated for a place in the board and she wanted us to give the image of the perfect family. We were far from perfect but we weren’t that damaged. We had issues. My mother hated me for not going to an ivy league college and getting a rich husband and I hated her for wanting me to be her. Other than those minor details we were like any other family.

“What did your mother do now?” Greg asked me when he saw me baking like there was no tomorrow. Greg never talked much that’s why I liked him so much. He made the most delicious croissants and never said much. I’d met him at one of my cupcake decorating courses and we’d immediately had taken to each other.

“She wants me to go a formal at the club,” I said placing cookie dough on waxed paper. Greg made a disapproval sound “I know. It makes me feel like I’m 15 again,” I paused for a second and looked at Greg “I just feel so guilty that I actually spent all my trust fund in whatever that I wanted instead of spending it in what it was intended to,”

“They gave you the money, though,” Greg shrugged.

“They did,” I said nodding and went back to the oatmeal cookies I was baking.

It was a good thing that I was doing so many of everything because I’d have to call it a day early if I wanted to look half decent for the stupid thing with my parents. Yes, I definitely felt guilty for destroying all the hopes and dreams they’d have for their only daughter.

Later that night I was running around my room trying to come up with a look that wouldn’t offend my mother, embarrass my father, made them both look good and made me feel ok with myself. I had already straightened my hair once I got out of the shower and was worried about the dress and make up. I heard the door bell and ran downstairs to open the door only to find Jackson.

“Come on in,” I said as I ran back upstairs.

“Where did the unruly waves go?” he said as I he climbed up the stairs.

“I’m going to formal at the club,” he scrunched up his nose.

“Why?” he asked disgusted.

“Long story. My parents, “I shrugged and he nodded “Help. Which dress,” I said as we both looked at the two options I had out. A green sleeveless dress with a skater skirt that made me look quite good and a navy long sleeved lace dress that was new.

“The blue one,” he said and I nodded.

“How was New York?” I asked as I sat in front of my vanity to apply my makeup. I made a mental note to buy more make up before I ran out of it. Redheads have a problem with makeup; our pasty skin doesn’t allow us to wear any kind of makeup because we usually end up looking like we went inside a tanning bed and turned it on the “carrot,” setting. So, someone out there had been merciful enough to create ginger friendly makeup, not the big companies, but still, it was nice to be thought of.

“Ok,” he didn’t smile. I had a hard time knowing what was on his mind if he didn’t smile; even if it was a fake smile I always knew what that meant.

“You look tired,” I said as I applied mascara.

“Not tired, hopeless,” I turned to look at him sitting on the sofa bed he’d gotten around to use several times in the time he had been back.

“What’s wrong, Jackson?” I finally asked.

“I hate that my parents still have this grip on me even if they don’t say it or act on it,”

“Welcome to my world,” I said as I grabbed the dress and was about to take off my robe in front of Jackson “oops,” I said and ran to the bathroom.

“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before, Mar,” he said raising his voice and this time I heard a smile in his voice.

“Eight years Jackson,” I said coming out of the bathroom “It’s been 8 years since you first saw me naked,” I said grabbing a piece of my hair and braiding it passing it over my head to resemble a crown.

“So?” he grinned.

“Things change. Bodies get old and fat,” I grabbed my purse, threw in my cell phone, lipstick and a compact. “Are you staying over?”

“If that’s ok with you,” he said and I nodded.

“Sure,” I smiled “see you later then.” I played a bit with his hair that was far gone from the stylish look it had that morning.

“Have fun, Mar,” he said and I just laughed.

“Marion couldn’t you put your hair up for once?” My mother said through gritted teeth. I knew there had to be something wrong with me.

“I wear my hair up every single day at the bakery, mother,” I knew she’d hate my comment about my job, “I wanted to let it down for a while,” it looked damn good, it wasn’t frizzing or anything!

“Please, let it go,” my father said as he put his fakest smile ever.

“Mr. Galloway,” an old man shook my father’s hand. I was already spacing out the moment I heard him say that he already had his vote.

As the time went by I realized that they only felt the need to introduce me to the people that either they didn’t really know or thought that maybe weren’t decided who they were going to vote for. So I got the hang of it, I shook hands, nodded a lot and never mentioned my work since my mother said “she’s an entrepreneur,” I guess that sounded better than she owns a bakery.

When my mother pushed me forward in one of her introductions I immediately knew something was up.

“This is Marion, our daughter,” she said and when I looked up I understood why. There it was a young man, one of the few I must say, maybe in his 30s. He was good looking I had to admit it. He was blond with green eyes and tall. Not as tall as Jackson, because of course I had to compare them, but still tall.

“Marion, this is Leonard Sabiston. He is the son of Julia and Andrew. You remember them,” I nodded. I didn’t remember them but his son was good looking.

“How are you, Alice?” Leonard said kissing my mother’s hand.

“Charming as always, Leonard,” she said to me, not him. This was starting to be embarrassing.

“Marion,” he shook my hand and smiled. I had to admit he was good looking and charming. “A pleasure to meet you.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Leonard,” I said smiling.

“I’ve never seen you around,” he said. “I would remember,” he grinned.

“Oh, I spend most of my time working,” I shrugged.

“Oh,” my mother cleared her throat “she’s an entrepreneur,” she said.

“Really, what’s your business line?” he asked me curiously.

“I own a bakery in town,” I smiled wide satisfied that I had said it and made my mom shit her panties.

“Really? Which one?” he seemed interested.

“Bake it off,” I said wondering if he had ever heard of it.

“No way,” he said smiling. I nodded.

“I love it there,” he said and I felt my mother relaxing a bit.

“You do?” I grinned.

“I go every morning for coffee and zucchini muffins.” Yep, he was a regular. “I’ve never seen you there,” he asked confused.

“I’m usually hiding in the back,” I shrugged. “I do all the baking,” I smiled.

“No! You are the one that makes the espresso muffins?” he seemed like a little kid meeting Santa.

“Guilty!” I knew I was red as a beet because, why wouldn’t I?

“Wow,” He looked at me genuinely amazed. “It’s great to meet you, then,” I nodded. “Maybe we can go out for coffee sometime or a drink, since you are always surrounded by coffee and cakes…,” I nodded.

“The drinks sound great,” I said.

“Excellent,” he nodded. “Next time I come by I’ll let you know.”

“That’d be great,” I said and then he proceeded to say goodbye to my parents. HE was a good looking guy, that loved my baking and that wanted to take me out. The only difference between him and the good looking guy that loved my baking and wanted to take me out that was in my bedroom was that Leonard was available. Jackson wasn’t. Maybe I should take Leonard’s offer after all.

“Please don’t ruin this,” my mother said and I turned to look at her.

“If I do this is because I like him not because you want me to be with him, mother,” I said with a fake smile on. That was a talent that my mother had made sure I mastered.

When I got home that I night I sat in my bed staring at Jackson on the sofa in the creepiest way ever. I thought about our relationship. It had always been too passionate; too much fire, too much desire, too much sex, too much fun, too much sadness, too much pain. He was back and now we were in some kind of limbo. We wanted each other so much but…. We couldn’t be together. We could if he just went ahead and dumped
Sally. Sally
what an awful name but it wasn’t her fault. Jackson was the one that left her without telling her what was going on, I supposed, and Jackson was the one here making me feel all hot inside and making me want to jump his bones every other second. I shook my head and went to change into my night shirt. I took my makeup off, undid my hair and tied in two braids like every other night.

“How was it?” I jumped at the sound of Jackson’s voice.

“Horrible,” I said walking towards the bed and jumping on it.

“I ate all the muffins in the fridge,” he said. I couldn’t see him clearly but he was somewhere in the sofa.

“Productive night, then,” I said.

“Yes,” I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Good night, Jackson.”

“Good night, Mar.”

I could have Jackson in my life as friends. I could do it.

Monday morning I heard Alexa’s voice, “Marion,” she said, “Vanilla-Lemon is looking for you.” Alexa had a thing for giving nicknames to our regular male clients depending on their looks. This particular client was blonde (hence Vanilla) and had green eyes (hence lemon). According to Alexa his eyes were beautiful.