Unspoken (2 page)

“No,” she crossed her arms, leaving me with my arm stretched out and holding the pad. I raised my eyebrows. “No, Marion, you are going to tell me what happened yesterday,” she demanded.

“Nothing happened,” I said and I heard Greg, our hired hand/key master/ cleanup guy chuckle loudly, “Really! Nothing happened!”

“How did he know this was your bakery?” Alexa asked as she finally took the pad from my hand.

“He didn’t. He just came in here for coffee and it turned out to be my bakery. He was as surprised as I was,” I shrugged and took a couple of batches to place on display at the counter.

“Right. Nothing happened,” Alexa asked as she got up in a stool and wrote down the menu.

“We just talked,” I sighed holding on to the counter.

“Some restraint you showed,” said Alexa finally coming down from the stool, “but what is eating you alive is the fact that you saw him,” I nodded. I didn’t want to say more because I wasn’t sure if it was good or bad what I felt.

“Anyway,” I croaked as I made my way back into the kitchen, “I don’t think he is coming back so that’s good,” I said as I changed my cooking apron for the black apron of the bakery, took my hair out of the net and tied my hair in a bun. Alexa opened the door, turned the open sign and all the regulars flooded the place. I just sat on a stool in the kitchen wishing for him to show up, to come back to me.
You need to focus, Marion.

I hated him. He was invading my every thought, one would think that after six years of not seeing him, I would be completely over him but no, it seemed that it wasn’t the case and I was obsessing over his hotness while making a second batch of zucchini muffins. But his hotness wasn’t what I was obsessing about; it was instead the fact that I missed him. We never ended, whatever we had, in bad terms, it just happened that it ended without us even realizing it. One summer he didn’t come back and I heard that he had gone to Law School. That was it. We didn’t break each other hearts and swore we would never fall in love again. We just ended, like every other stage in life does; it goes on, it evolves. It took me a lot to get over him, or at least to pretend that I had, and now he was back and out of my life again. Ugh! I bumped my head against the fridge.

“He’s here,” I heard Alexa said and I turned to look at her.

“Who?” I asked but I was already taking my hair out of the bun I had tied up because I knew that was what he liked the most about me.

“Just go,” she said and I walked out of the kitchen with her on tow.

“Hi,” I said when I found him at the counter looking at the menu.

“Hi,” he flashed that sexy smile. He was doing so much better and looked even better than the day before. He looked older but it suited him. My knees were shaking.

“Jackson,” I overheard Alexa say and Jackson turned and smiled at her.

“Alexa!!” he said and they both hugged. Like I said, there were never hard feelings between anyone and they had all been close before he went away.

“Where have you been hiding?” she asked putting her hand on his shoulders. I took this time to assess him. He was wearing khakis and a white buttoned up shirt. I was jealous of Alexa because she could touch him the way she was doing without feeling she would combust immediately. Me? Nope, I couldn’t do that. Jackson and I had this thing that one touch in the wrong direction and we would be tearing each other clothes in the nearest bathroom or broom closet.

“Marion?” Alexa said and I snapped out of my thoughts.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Jackson wants to know if you are free for lunch,” she asked with a smile but her eyes were saying,
You go to lunch and I’ll have to come and get you out of a motel room.

“Yeah, sure, yes,” I said untying the apron and putting it over the counter, “there’s a brand new batch of zucchini muffins in the oven. Take them out in 20 minutes. I’ll be back in time for your lunch break,” I said and she nodded. She knew I wasn’t either strong or wise.

“So,” I said while chewing on a buffalo wing. “How long are you staying?”I asked. We went to a wings bar that was within walking distance from the bakery and we talked about Alexa. I told him that she was a mom and he wasn’t surprised, it was bound to happen. We talked about Connor being a newlywed and was still living in town. We avoided talking about us.

“I have no idea,” he said shaking his head, “I’ve let everyone know I will be working from here.”

“Where do you work?” I was curious he was always so lost about choosing a path.

“I own a recruiter company,” he said while taking a huge sip of his beer.

“You are a lawyer,” I said leaning back on the chair.

“Only legal recruiters in my company,” he shrugged.

“You are a lawyer,” I repeated and he nodded.

“I know. I hate being a lawyer, that’s the best I could do with a law degree,” he smiled. Not a real smile though.

“Do you like it?” I asked reaching for another wing. I never had any restraints about eating in front of him and I wasn’t about to start.

“It’s ok,” he shrugged and I decided that I wasn’t going to dig much into it because I didn’t want to get too involved again.

“Where are you staying?” I asked as I took a sip of lemonade.

“My parents,’” I nodded. I had been at their pool house too many times.

“Where do you live now?” He said while taking a chip into his mouth.

“My grans’,” I said smiling.

“How is she?” he asked with a genuine smile. We used to steal baking supplies from her kitchen.

“She passed,” I said and his face fell completely.

“When?” I could tell he was sad about it.

“3 years ago. She left me the house, thank goodness,” I shook my head while wiping my mouth with a napkin. “The rent I was paying for my apartment went directly to pay the mortgage of the bakery.”

“So you actually own the local?” he asked surprised.

“I do! Took me 5 years of catering and working for Ronan’s bakery to finally get the money,” I said with pride.

“You had a trust fund,” he frowned.

“I spent most of it on rent, numerous bakery courses and ingredients,” I said, “It was worth it, though.”

“I am really happy for you,” he said and I smiled.

“Are you going to tell me what are you running away from?” I asked as a waitress took the basket of wings and our plates.

“It’s stupid,” he said. “Not so stupid. It might make me look like an asshole,” he seemed either confused or scared of telling the truth.

“Just go and tell me,” I said reaching for his hand.

“I’m getting married,” he said. I know that the music was still on and there were still people around but everything stopped. I immediately withdrew my hand and felt a cold sweat drop down my forehead. Jackson was getting married and this was the end of a lifelong fantasy of mine.

“Oh,” was all I could say and he looked sad.

“I don’t want to, though,” he said as if he was making it better, as if he knew that he was breaking every fantasy I had for the last 8 years. I mean, I knew he wasn’t coming back for me, but in my mind, in my fantasies, he was always this available man that had too much going on to deal with girls, to deal with feelings. To deal with me. Stupid, stupid Marion.

“You are running away from her?” I asked trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, but nothing about this entire conversation was nonchalant.

“From her, from my parents, from New York, from work,” he looked down at his hands, resting at the high table.

“Jackson,” I finally got my irrational feelings under control, “you can’t just run away! Please don’t tell me you ran away from the wedding,” I said scared that he might have.

“No! No! Oh god no, Mar,” he said shaking his head no and laughing, “We haven’t set a date yet. We were looking at venues when a panic attack hit me and thought that running away was the best thing I could do.” I didn’t ask why he ran away here, I wanted to but I thought it’d be for the best not to.

“So,what? You are thinking about it or what?” I asked confused.

“I’m hiding…for now,” he looked sad, “I haven’t made up my mind.” I kept quiet. What was I to say? I wanted to help him. I wanted to tell him to stay here with me like we talked so many times but we weren’t the same people we used to be. We had changed.

“I’m sorry,” he said after a small silence.

“For what?” I asked confused.

“Not coming back,” he finally looked into my green eyes. I felt them water and then shook my head to make the tears go away.

“You had a life to live. We both did,” I said smiling.

“I was the one who left,” he held my hand, “but you are the one that actually got to live hers.”

“Don’t say that, Jackson,” I squeezed his hand, “I’m sure you’ve had a great time.” I tried to reassure him but he seemed too depressed.

“Not really. I have no idea how to enjoy life.”

“Just bake it away,” I smiled and this time I saw his eyes get misty.

“Would you teach me how?” Ugh! Why? Why was this happening to me? Here he was, back in my life and his touch still made me feel like I could make my clothes combust at will, but he was taken and spoken for. By someone he didn’t want, but taken nonetheless, unhappily so but taken. I was no home wrecker and I wouldn’t make him leave a girl who could either be a good, sweet, caring girl, or a cold, heartless bitch. Either way, I had to be his friend and help him find the way.

Seventeen.

“Marion,” I heard as I walked down the stairs of the apartment complex where I had just delivered a batch of brownies to one of my teachers. I turned to see who was calling my name and I saw Jackson standing there. I was all giddy and I’m pretty sure I was blushing. I smiled and went closer.

“Hey,” I said looking down at my white flip-flops while balancing myself on my heels.

“Do you live here?” he asked and I looked up to see him. He was a vision and the wind was playing with his hair that seemed as untamed as mine except mine was in a pony tail.

“Oh no,” I said, looking up at the apartment complex, “I just brought a batch of brownies to Mr. Brunetti,” I said shrugging.

“Keeping the business in mind,” he said with a smile, and nodded with inner exhilaration to know that he had been paying attention the other night at the bar where I talked about my dream of opening a bakery where I could bake everything in display.

We had talked so much about us but we never got to the part of where we lived or if we would see each other again. We had said goodbye that night when Alexa came for me to the table where we were and announced that we were leaving on Connor’s car because Connor was going home with a blonde he’d met.
Don’t leave.
He’d beg but the look on Alexa’s face told me that if I didn’t go with her she’d kill me, so I got up and said bye.
Stay,
he said putting his arm around my waist, placing firmly his hand on my hip. I smiled and shook my head, I simply couldn’t .

“Do
you
live here?” I asked.

“No, I was lost, actually,” he looked at me, “and then I saw you walking down the stairs and stopped the car to say hi.” I looked past him and indeed there was an SUV parked almost mid-street.

“Hi,” I said and he laughed.

“Do you know where the YMCA is?” he motioned towards the car, “My mother had like a thousand spare kids’ toys and stuff to give away and she asked me to take them there.”

“Not too far actually,” I walked closer to him to give directions, “just go straight from here. It won’t be long until you find the sign.

“You smell like strawberries,” he said looking down at me.

“Body wash,” I said taking a step back, afraid of whatever I felt running through my veins.

“I like it,” he said, all serious but then a wide smile appeared, “anyway, I’ll see you around, Marion,” he said walking towards his car and waving goodbye. I saw the car leaving and I was left on the sidewalk trying not to slip on my own drool. What was about this guy that made me feel so alive and… hot inside? It was so new that I didn’t have a name for it.

Later that day I was at lunch break from my job at the bakery when I heard, “I believe destiny is trying to tell us something.” I looked up and there he was again.

“Hi” I said trying not to spit out my French fries, “Uh, want to sit?” I asked and he nodded taking a seat in front of me. I smiled because he was grinning and then I laughed, and he laughed after that, and we were both laughing hard at nothing at all.

“I think we should listen to destiny” he said.

“I’m sorry but I have no idea what destiny is trying to say,” I looked at him straight in the eye. I felt more and more comfortable around him.

“That we should hang out more,” he said taking a fry from my basket.

“Well, we should definitely pay attention then,” I nodded and he laughed. We had this kind of weird communication that consisted in smiles and laughs that always made me feel that we were the only couple in the world capable of inventing a new language; it made me feel that we were going to be smiling forever.