Reclaiming Souls (9 page)

“So...you’re not going to stuff me into one of those tombs and lock me away for eternity?” I asked a stupid question. I knew it was but it still came out of my mouth. I needed the verbal confirmation.

It made him laugh, “No, but you’re lucky though. There is a catch, so to speak, with this deal I’m offering you.”

Oh no. “What is it?”

“I will have to do a memory wipe on you for you to see everything with new eyes and not be biased based off some of the cases you worked before.”

My dead heart slipped and fell beneath my feet. I felt like I couldn’t move, frozen to the spot. “I’ll have to forget everything?” I whispered.

“Isn’t that what you wanted, anyways?” He asked me, with his eyes furrowed in confusion.

“That was before-” I stopped myself; realizing what it was that was holding me back from the opportunity that was sitting on a silver platter in front of me, “before I fell in love,” I whispered.

“I’m afraid it would all go away. You won’t remember Lexie, Jackson, Kale,” he paused, looking sympathetically down into my eyes with his big loving ones, “and Kellin.” His voice was so calm and soothing. I wanted to scream. How could he be so damn calm and collected!?

“Do I have to answer right now?” My voice was hoarse and shaking.

“You have until tomorrow to answer. If not, everything will stay the same as it always has been. I’m afraid I trust no one else with the job at hand. You have to decide what’s more important to you; your memories or protecting the souls of the innocent. I’ll be waiting for you in the morning.” He walked off, leaving me to contemplate my fate alone. 

Chapter Seven

“Devalynn? You home?” A soft woman’s voice rang through my head.

“Yeah, I’m home,” I called out from under the blanket on the couch.

“Dev, I’m so sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to take it all out on you.” Lexie burst through the door and sat on the floor below me.

“It’s okay, I’m not mad at you.” I rolled over and pulled the blanket back up over my head.

“What’s wrong? Did you and Kellin or Kale get in a fight or something?”

I snorted, “Nope, nothing like that.”

“So tell me. What’s going on?” Her hand reached up and yanked the blanket off of me, sending it to the floor.

“I really don’t want to talk about it. It’s my problem, not yours to deal with.”

“You haven’t learned yet...if something bothers you, it bothers me. You’re the closest thing I have to family around here and you should know you can talk to me.”

“I feel like the weight of everything is on my shoulders right now and I don’t know what to do. Inside, the answer for one thing is screaming at me but my heart it telling me otherwise. I’m so damn confused! Ahhh!!!” I screamed into the cushion and kicked my legs down into the one underneath them as my frustration mounted higher and higher.

“What are you conflicted about?”

“Do you really want to know or are you just trying to be nosey?”

She sat back; hurt written across her face as she looked down, her beautiful smile was sitting in a frown.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” I sat up and patted the cushion next to me.

She rose to her feet and sat by me, crossed her legs and pulled them to her chest in a tight hug. “It’s okay, I guess I kind of deserve that, huh?” she smirked.

I closed my eyes, trying to think of how to tell her. “Well, my dilemma is this...the Creator has given me a choice. I can lose my memories, all of them, and fix the broken reclamation system or I can keep my memories and nothing gets fixed.”

She was silent for a few minutes. “So what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. That’s where my problem is. I don’t want to forget you or anyone but I want to change the destinies of people who shouldn’t be coming back yet.”

“You don’t want to lose Kellin. That’s your biggest problem, isn’t it?” she asked with a grin from ear to ear.

I shrugged, trying to keep my face from turning colors that would give me away. “That’s a big part of it. When I was told
my options, that’s when it hit me...I think I love him.”

“EEEEEKKK!!!” She squealed before lunging into a hug around my neck. “I freakin knew it!!” she exclaimed.

I fell backwards. “Easy! Damn, girl,” I pushed her off of m and looked out of the window past her.

“So, you’re not saying much now. Do you know which one you’re going to pick?” She leaned in, anxious for my reply.

“If I lose my memories of everything, of everyone...you’ll try hard to know me again, right? You won’t give up on me?” My eyes flew back to her.

“Of course I wouldn’t give up on you. If saving those peoples souls means this much to you, I will support you however I can, even when you can’t remember me.” Her lips trembled while she tried to hold a steady face.

“What about Kellin? Do you think he’ll forgive me? Do you think he’ll try to get me to love him again and Kale! What if they go into competition to see who can get my love first? What if-“

“Stop it! Jeez, you’re going crazy with this, aren’t you? Look, go talk to Kellin first then go talk to Kale. Tell them you’ve made up your mind and you need them to support you and be there AS A FRIEND when your memory is turned into mush and swept away.”

“That’s a great way to put it.” I raised an eyebrow to her comment. “Guess I better go talk to them. I only have until morning to decide. He’ll be waiting for my answer. I’ll see you in a little bit. You should keep me company tonight; maybe help me write little sticky notes to plant around the house so I can kind of remember some things afterwards.”

“You know I’ll be here. Heck, I won’t even leave,” she grinned.

“That’s fine with me. I’ll be back in a few.” I waved as I walked out and headed towards Kellin’s house first.

“Kellin? You here?” I walked inside and looked around. The lights were off and there weren’t any sounds of movement. I walked to his bedroom and knocked on the door. “Kellin? You in there?” Still nothing.

I shrugged and decided to go wait on his front porch when his door swung open and he stared at me. “Hey! You’re, um, early.” He put his hand behind his back.

“Sorry, I wanted to, no, needed to talk to you about something important. Do you want me to leave?” His eyes were locked with mine.

“No, you’re fine, just go sit on the front porch and I’ll be out there in a minute.”

“Okay,” I looked him up and down, studying his awkward sideways stance. “What are you hiding?”

“Dev, just go outside,” he nodded his head for the door. As I walked around him, he turned so his back was never to me.

While watching the setting sun, I absorbed the sounds and recalled memories because it was going to be my last day as, well, myself.

The door shut loudly, pulling me out of my dream state. “What are you up to?”

“Not much, wasn’t expecting you so soon. How were your jobs today?” He sat down next to me and draped his arm around my shoulders.

“I didn’t get any done.”

“Why not!? What trouble did you cause this time?” His eyes narrowed at me.

“I didn’t do anything. That’s the problem, well not the problem; I mean it could be a problem.” I started rambling. I was nervous to tell him what I had decided.

“Dev, what happened?” He grabbed my face and held it steady in his hands.

“The Creator brought me back and offered me a job to fix the system so the souls that don’t deserve to come back well, don’t,” I blurted out in a frenzied voice.

“That’s great! It’s needed to be fixed bad.”

“That’s not all,” I whispered, barely audible as my lips trembled.

“What?”

“I have to lose my memories of everything to be able to do it. If I don’t, the system will stay the same and good people will still be condemned.”

I tried to turn my head away but he stopped me and moved his face in front of mine. “Is that what has you so worked up? You have the chance of an after-lifetime! You should be happy.” He always knew how to make me feel better with his devilishly sexy smile.

“I won’t remember Lexie, Jackson, the others, and, well-” I paused to look into his eyes, -”you.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I’ll still be around and we can make new memories together. You gotta think, Dev, you won’t remember your death and all the horrible events involved. You need to do this for you. Let’s go sit inside and talk. Dinner should be ready by now.” He stood and held the front door open for me.

“It’s not that I don’t-” I stopped what I was saying. He had put rose petals everywhere and there were candles flickering throughout the room. A bottle of wine sat in a bucket of ice next to his table. “Oh, my God. Wow, I’m speechless. No one has ever done this for me...that I can remember anyways.”

“Seems we have some celebrating to do now but this was a just because dinner, just so you know.” His hands were resting on his hips and he beamed with a look of pride.

I turned and embraced him as tightly as I could. He stumbled a foot or two before catching himself then wrapped his arms around my waist. “Thank you,” I whispered, “I love it...almost as much as I love you.”

“What!?” He pulled back and stared at me. “Don’t say that if you don’t mean it just because tomorrow you won’t remember you said it to me.”

Shaking my head, I replied, “I’m not just saying it. I mean it. I guess I just didn’t realize what was in front of me since I’ve been here. If you don’t feel the same way, I totally understand.”

He pulled me to him, embracing my face as our lips touched and sent chills down my spine. He moved his hands to the back of my head and grabbed a handful of my hair. I jumped on his waist and wrapped my legs around him while he slammed me against a wall; his lips trailing down my neck.

“I want you to be mine; no one else’s. I tried to stay away. Not very long, but I tried and I couldn’t,” he spoke between the touch of his lips against my skin.

“I want to be yours,” I responded; my breath unsteady as the words came out.

He stood me to the ground; his hands on the wall blocking me from moving. “Forever.”

“Forever?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Say yes,” he smiled.

“Or what?”

“Does it matter? You won’t remember tomorrow.”

“Even if that wasn’t the case, I was going to say yes, anyways.”

“Good. No one else can have you.” Sliding one hand into his pocket, he fished around until he pulled out a very small wrapped item. He undid it and pulled out a small, intricate rose gold ring. He opened my hand and spread my fingers as he slipped the ring on. “You. Are. Mine,” he whispered.

“About time!” I jumped on him and he carried me into his bedroom and laid me on the bed with the weight of his body on top of mine. His lips started at the crests of my chest and make their way up to my neck as he pushed my hair out of the way with his hand then to me ear where he bit down playfully and finally to my lips. His heavenly lips against mine were mind blowingly amazing.

Just as quickly as he started, he stopped and rolled over next to me. “We can’t do this. Not until after we are united. I don’t want to seduce you and then have to start wooing you all over again tomorrow and you not remember how I touched you, how I made your body explode with pleasure.”

I smiled weakly, “Okay, we can wait,” I replied, bringing his face down to mine for a soft kiss. “You won’t give up on me, right? You’ll keep trying even though I won’t remember and will probably call you a psycho stalker, right?” There was a need in my voice; a need to be reassured that he wouldn’t abandon me after I had forgotten him.

“I will never stop, never give up, never tire to win you back over,” he whispered, a gentle voice into my ear.

“Okay. I’m kind of scared. I’ll have to start all over again and I’m not sure I can do it.”

“You’re an extremely strong person, I know you can do it and I support you even if I think you’re just trying to forget me,” he teased.

“Jerk.”

“That hurts.”

“Oh I’m sure it does,” I laughed.

He scooped me up and carried me back out to the living room. “Let’s eat some dinner, spend some time together, then I’ll walk you back over to your place and see you in the morning.”

“Sounds like a plan.” I stood to my feet and helped him carry the food over to the table where the candles had all melted down because of our prolonged absence.

“Do you want to stay here tonight?” He sat down across from me and shoveled food in his mouth.

“I can’t. I already asked Lexie to stay the night with me so I wasn’t alone. I thought you would be upset with me when you found out what I am going to do tomorrow.” I really wasn’t hungry. I mostly pushed the food around on the plate; my appetite kept fading.

“You’re not eating?” He eyed me curiously.

“I was really hungry and now I’m not. I think I’m too nervous to eat. I feel like I’m going to puke if I try. I’m sorry; this really is a beautiful meal. I didn’t mean to spoil it for you.”

“It’s fine.” He placed a hand over mine, making me drop my fork. “Dev, it’s okay, really. It’s getting late and we’re all going to have an emotional day tomorrow. Only, you will be the only one who won’t remember how emotional for yourself.” He scooted his chair back across the floor, stood, and waited for me to get my things. We walked outside where there was a gentle breeze and the smell of his neighbors cooking dinner and the sounds of their laughter filled my ears.

“Maybe after everything is said and done, do you think you could talk to the Creator about giving my memories back since I won’t really be able to do it? I know I won’t fight as hard for them because I won’t have any attachments to them.”

“You know He doesn’t do that.”

“Yeah, I know, but He’s starting to do things differently. Look at Kale! He got a second, second chance. Why should I be any different? I’m going to reform the system I should be able to get back what I gave up for it.”

“I’ll ask him, I promise.” He draped his arm around my neck while we walked the rest of the way in silence down the empty street. The emptiness felt just like my insides at that moment.

“Dev? Hello?”

I shook my head out of my daydream. We were back at my house and standing in front of the door already. “Sorry, I kind of spaced out.”

“I know,” he laughed, “I’ve been trying to talk to you for about five minutes now.”

“Sorry.” I looked down, playing with my fingers and watching my feet. My hands were starting to shake and I couldn’t stop them.

He stepped up to me and embraced me tightly. I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face in the crook below his ear. “I’m so scared.”

“You’ll do wonderful. Think of all those souls you’re going to help.”

“I know but it still doesn’t stop my stomach from flipping around inside. It doesn’t stop the feeling of knowing I’m going to lose you tomorrow.”

“Hey, stop talking like that. You’re not going to lose me. You might not remember me but I will charm my way back into your heart like I did the first time.”

I took a big, deep breath and let it out slowly. “You’re right. Oh, here,” I went to slip the ring off my hand, “you might want to hold onto this until after I say yes...again.”

He stopped me and slipped it back on. “No, you’ll see it every day and know you belong to someone and I’ll just have to convince you it’s me. Here, watch this.” He slid if off my finger and pulled out his knife, etching something into it before slipping it back on my finger. “Don’t look at it until right before the Creator does the memory wipe, got it?”

“Do you know how hard that’s going to be for me!?” I retorted.

“Please, Devalynn, don’t look at it before I told you when you can see it.” His eyes furrowed, deepening as he frowned.

“Okay, okay,” I rolled my eyes, “I promise.”

“I’ll see you in the morning before you do it?”

“I can’t wait.” I swung my arms around his neck and whispered for only his ears to hear. “I love you, Kellin, with all of my unbeating heart, I love you forever.”

“I love you too, Dev, and I always will. I am going to miss this so damn much. Okay, I have to go now before I become a complete wreck and try to talk you out of it. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He kissed my lips one last time before turning on his heels and running off.

I stood at the door, my eyes following as he ran into the distance and rounded a corner. He wasn’t even in my sight anymore but I stood there, hoping he would pop back around and make his way to me. He didn’t. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream and throw things.

“Hey, are you okay?” I jumped as Lexie opened the door and came outside.

“I guess.”

“Did you talk to them?”

“I talked to Kellin. Not Kale. I’m waiting until morning to talk to him. I can only take so much stress today before I combust. Who knows, maybe he’ll want his memory wiped so he can forget me too,” I mumbled.

“I take it Kellin didn’t take the news so well?” She held the door open as I walked in past her and went straight for my bed. I hurled myself on to it and buried myself under the blankets.

“No, he took it rather well and is supporting me one hundred percent.”

“That’s great news! Then why are you so sad?” There was a rustling as she climbed in next to me and propped the blanket up a little so we could see each other.

I pulled out my hand from under my head and showed her. “This is why. I won’t remember this ever again but he will,” I wanted to cry but nothing came from my eyes that burned and stung like I had cried so hard I couldn’t cry anymore.

“Ohmyjeez!” she squealed out in one word, “I’m so happy for you guys but you’re right. It’s going to be really hard knowing you don’t remember and I won’t get to talk with you about it without you getting all crazy on me thinking I’m a creeper.”

“That’s what Kellin said,” I laughed.

“Well it’s the truth! We’re going to walk up to you tomorrow and be all ‘Hey! So how many souls did you get today?’ or ‘Hey, I love you, you crazy ass!’ and you’re going to be like ‘What the hell is wrong with the people here?’ Do you see where I’m going with this? All of us are going to be new to you. We’ll get to start our weird friendship over again though.”

She had me laughing so hard my stomach hurt. “This is true. I look forward to doing all the crazy stuff all over again with you.” My face set in an instant frown, terror overcame me again.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. We all love you and will take care of you.” She yawned loud and snapped her body around as she finished it off with a sneeze. “I think it’s bedtime. I can’t keep my eyes open and I’m really trying to.”

“I know the feeling. I’m exhausted but I don’t want to sleep and bring tomorrow here quicker.”

She took a pillow and squished it against my face. “Shut up. Go to sleep. Good night.” She rolled over, laughing, as she drifted off. I stayed awake until her snoring was more than I could stand so I let my body fall into a slumber.