Perception (8 page)

Contrary
to the heated argument they were having, Xander’s lips were soft, his hand
gentle as he held her. 

She
hesitated only briefly before she gave in, kissing him back with delicious
intent. Her legs weakened, her body ignited with sensation as the kiss
penetrated her bloodstream, moving through her entire body in a rush.

It didn’t
take long before the passion of the moment overwhelmed them both.

Holding
her head firmly, Xander controlled the kiss, and she let him. It would serve no
purpose to try to top him. He wasn’t going to allow it. And, truth be told, she
wanted to remember what it felt like to be dominated, to let go of the control,
to concede to someone else for even a brief moment.

Just this
once.

She
pressed up against him involuntarily, unable to stop herself. What this was
between them wasn’t normal. It wasn’t run of the mill. And dammit all to hell,
it wasn’t only about sex although it would appear that way from the outside
looking in.

But what
most people didn’t realize about her was that she used her Domme status to keep
her distance from people. The habit had been ingrained in her since she was a
teenager, growing up in an abusive household with an overbearing father, then
reinforced time and time again through a series of bad relationships when she
was older.

Being in
control meant she didn’t have to give up anything, didn’t have to answer to
anyone, and being a Domme in the lifestyle she coveted meant she could be
satisfied physically without ever having to give too much of herself. As far as
emotional ties, there weren’t any. Because she didn’t allow them.

But this
was Xander. Her friend. A man she admired, a man she suddenly craved which
meant she would want more. Nothing about Xander was easy, and if she gave in to
him at all, even one tiny bit, she feared she’d lose a part of herself that
she’d been holding on tightly to for as long as she could remember.

The kiss
lingered, the passion between them fanning the flames as she was engulfed by
the same overwhelming sensations that Xander had instilled in her last night
when he’d used nothing more than his hands and a flogger to send her careening
into the abyss.

Seemingly
unwilling to let go, he consumed her, tasting, teasing, seeking all that she
was willing to give him.

And she
let him.

Long
minutes later, when he pulled back, Xander remained steadfast, holding her
wrists, palming her head gently as he stared down at her. Why that made her
feel good, she didn’t know.

But she
did. She felt… safe in his arms.

It had
been an incredibly long time since a man had looked at her the way Xander was
looking at her now. Maybe it was her fault because she’d refrained from taking
on a full-time sub for a couple of years now, disinclined to commit to
something she didn’t think she was ready for again.

The only
thing she knew was that she shouldn’t feel good. She wasn’t supposed to
want
this.

And that
was the main reason she had to push him away.

There was
a long pause before Mercedes reluctantly said, “If you’re looking for a
submissive, I suggest you consider taking Sam on. I think she’ll satisfy that
urge and you’ll both get what you want. Hell, you’ll even get a threesome out
of the deal, and we all know how you feel about that.”

Did that
make her sound jealous? God, she hoped not, but she couldn’t help herself. The
idea of Xander dominating Sam, the thought of Sam crushed between Logan and
Xander made her crazy, but she knew if she didn’t push him away, she ran the
risk of pulling him close, and it wasn’t in her best interest to do so.

“You, not
Sam,” Xander said brusquely, his words coarse as though he were just as
affected by this as she was. He brushed his thumb over her cheek, but he didn’t
finish his sentence.

“Me
what?” Mercedes finally asked when it was clear he wouldn’t go on. Sucking her
bottom lip between her teeth, she waited.

“I want
you
,”
he finally said, the gravelly tone of his voice had pleasure igniting beneath
her skin.

Mercedes’s
heart did a somersault, but she stopped it mid-flip, refusing to give in to the
promises she could hear in his tone.

“That’s
bullshit, and you know it,” she argued, trying to keep her voice even. “I’m a
challenge for you, X. That’s all I am. I’ve seen the women you play with.
They’re meek and… they don’t pose much of a challenge. Hell, most of them
aren’t even true submissives, they just want a shot at your money.”

“If you
think I’m looking for a woman who doesn’t challenge me, then you don’t know me
as well as I thought you did,” he replied softly.

Mercedes
forced her eyes away from his. He saw too much.

“Look at
me,” Xander demanded, this time he used only his words, not his hands.

Her eyes
darted up quickly, too quickly. She knew he saw that she was still hovering on
the fence that separated
undecided
and
hell no, this is emotional
suicide
.

“Let me
show you,” he pleaded gruffly. “Five days. Starting right now. That’s all I’m
asking for.”

 “Five
days
?” That was
all
? Shit, that was only the beginning.
“You
think you can turn me from a Domme to a submissive in …? Wait, why five?” she
asked curiously, all other thoughts coming to an abrupt halt.

Xander
smirked, a glint of humor in his radiant smile. “Five’s my lucky number, you
know that.”

She
did
know that. Just like seven was her lucky number. And twenty-three was Shane’s.
They’d had a long conversation one night over a bottle of vodka.
That
had been interesting.

But it
wasn’t the point.

“Xander—”
she stopped herself, trying to realign her thoughts once more. Calming down,
she followed up with, “I like being in control.”

“Do you?”
he asked, sounding unconvinced and rightfully so since he still held her up
against the window and somewhere along the way she’d forgotten that she had
pressed her body up against his, her breasts against the hard planes of his
chest.

But it
didn’t matter that she was physically attracted to this man. This
Dom
.
She did like being in control. And she was good at it. She was successful. She
was independent. And she’d kept the attention of more subs than she cared to
count through the years. They kept coming back. It didn’t seem to matter that
she never promised them anything. That said something about her; she knew it
did. But it didn’t explain these mixed up emotions churning in her belly.

She
wasn’t giving up yet though.

“Are you
saying you want to top
me
? That in five days I’ll just hand over the
reins to you?” she asked. “That’s a little optimistic, X. Even for you.”

“That’s
exactly what I’m saying,” he answered easily that time, his restraint palpable.

Having
him dominate her was something she’d never even considered until last night at
Devotion. Since then… well, since then she’d thought about little else.

Confusion
overwhelmed her. No matter what she wanted, regardless of whether she gave in
to it or not, it still didn’t explain what Xander’s ulterior motive was.

“Why me,
X?” Knowing she was moving into dangerous territory, Mercedes stared into
crystal green eyes, searching for the truth. He didn’t answer her question, so
she continued.  “And once you break me? Once I’m nothing but a puddle at
your feet? Then what? Are you telling me you wouldn’t get bored with me like
you do all the others?”

Mercedes
knew him. Xander hadn’t had a serious relationship since the day she’d met him.
He played at the clubs, took some of them home, but they never lasted more than
a week at the most. He claimed that it was due to work. He didn’t have time for
anything else.

Right.

Mercedes
wasn’t willing to give up the friendship they’d developed for a few days of
sex.

No matter
how good she suspected it would be.

Although
Xander heard every single word Mercedes said, he didn’t believe her for a
second. Oh, she gave a convincing argument with her direct questions, trying to
turn this around on him.

And maybe
she had a point, Xander hadn’t had a real relationship in as long as he could
remember. He’d been content with work and play, keeping the two completely
separate, yet knowing that work would ultimately take priority over anything
else.

That was
before last night. Before his entire thought process had changed at the hands
of this one woman. Or rather, when he’d finally gotten his hands on this woman.

After
years of subtly trying to get her to see him the way he saw her, Xander had
finally been handed an opportunity too good to pass up. Thanks to Logan’s
request, Xander was given the chance to get her in a position where he could
convince her that he was the man she needed. Because she was whom he
needed
.
Who he
wanted
. The woman he longed to have beside him. And not just as
his friend.

In all of
the years he’d played at the clubs, all of the pets he’d commanded, never once
had any one woman touched a place so deep inside of him the way Mercedes had.

Not that
he could share that with her just yet because it would likely come back to bite
him in the ass and right now, he just wanted a commitment from her. Five days.
That’s all he needed to show her exactly how good the two of them could be
together.

Hell, he
could still feel the way her body had relented to his last night. The way she’d
come apart in his arms. It had taken right at ten minutes to bring her down
from the sexual high, which he believed is what really pissed her off.

Not him.
He loved every fucking minute of it and yearned to do it again. So much so that
Xander couldn’t even contemplate the idea of being with another woman ever
again. He wasn’t even sure he could simply play with a sub because the only
person he would be thinking about was Mercedes. And he couldn’t stand the
thought of her with someone else either. He knew himself, knew that he’d lose
his shit if he saw her with another man.

Nor was
he willing to just let her go. If required, Xander was more than ready to fight
to convince her.

He
understood her reaction. Hell, he’d be thoroughly confused if somewhere along
the way he showed any sort of submissive tendency as well. But Xander knew her,
knew that she’d never submit to another man.

Only him.

And that
fucking made his dick hard.

To know
that she would never kneel at another man’s feet, would never give up the control
she held close to the vest… it made him want to dominate her in every way.

Starting
right fucking now.

“It can’t
happen, X,” Mercedes told him, drawing him back to the present.

Staring
down at her, watching the storm clouds brew in her eyes made him want her all
the more. She could argue with him until the end of time, but he wasn’t willing
to be thrown off course. Not now. Not after last night. After they’d made it
this far.

Xander
opted to take a more direct approach. Shifting so that he could slide one knee
between her thighs, he released her hands and gripped her hips, forcing her
skirt up high and grinding the steely length of his cock against her belly. All
while he crushed his mouth to hers.

She was
so soft in his arms. The abundant swell of her breasts against his chest, the
heavenly feel of her generous hips against his palms. She was perfect for him.

He was
hanging by a thread, holding her close, reveling in the heat that generated
between her legs. When she began grinding her pussy against his thigh, he knew
she was done. No matter what she said or what she told herself, this
combustible energy that generated between them was hard to resist.

No, not
hard. Damn near impossible.

“Xander,”
Mercedes moaned when he gripped her hair, tilting her head back so he could
deepen the kiss. Thrusting his tongue into the sweetness of her mouth, Xander
almost came when she grabbed his ass and jerked him closer.

It was a
stalemate. He held tightly to her hair; she held onto him with her relentless
grip. Breaking the kiss and staring into her eyes, Xander opted to go with the
cold, hard truth.

“I’m
going to dominate you, Mercedes. I’m going to have you begging me, pleading for
me to make you come. I’m going to show you exactly what it feels like to lose
absolute control. And I’m going to do it over and over again until you don’t
want to think about anyone but me.”

Her eyes
went from soft gray to a thunderhead, blackened with resistance. Or was that
need?

Mercedes
slid her hand down between their bodies and began stroking his rigid erection
through his slacks. Xander fought the urge to thrust into her hand. What he
wouldn’t give for her to jerk him off right then and there. Or better yet for
her to drop to her knees so he could watch his cock slide in and out of her
pretty pink lips.

He wished
he was naked. If he thought she would be game, he would strip them both right
then and there. Toss her across the table and fuck her senseless. Xander wanted
her more than his next breath, but he knew he could only push Mercedes so far
and right now there was a delicate balance that he couldn’t afford to throw
off.

“I don’t
have any desire to submit to you,” Mercedes explained as she stroked his cock
roughly. “If you think I can be forced into enjoying it, you’re wrong. And on
top of that, we both know we’ll tire of each other before long.”

Xander
didn’t hear anything after the word “force”. He’d never had to force a woman to
enjoy anything.

“Force
you to enjoy it?” Xander asked incredulously as he slid his hand up her thigh
slowly, easing his finger beneath the lace of her panties. He grazed her clit
with his fingertip and then eased lower until he found her soaking wet
entrance. “I don’t think force is necessary, baby.”

Xander
fought to keep his eyes open even though she continued to stroke him more
firmly, and he wanted nothing more than to get lost in the sensation of her
intimate touch along his aching cock.

Mercedes
suddenly stopped, gripping his cock painfully, forcing him to inhale sharply as
she tried to control the situation.

Determined
to fight fire with fire, Xander pushed his finger inside of her slowly.

“One of
these days, you’re going to learn that not everyone wants what you want.
This
is what I want,” she said, tightening her grip on his dick and making him damn
near choke on his tongue. “I want a man with my collar around his neck. I want
a man who is on his knees and naked when I come home. Begging me, pleading for
me to let him come. I want a man shackled to my bed, one I can have my way with
whenever I choose. I want a man who knows that I can offer him the greatest
pleasure ever to be had.”

“Baby, I
can assure you that you’ll never get a collar around my neck, nor will I ever
be on my knees unless I’m lapping your sweet pussy, and you damn sure won’t
have a chance to tie me to your bed. But I assure you, I already know how
intense the pleasure is.” He paused, sliding his index finger deeper and
twisting, searching for… there it was.

Mercedes
released the stranglehold she had on his dick as she cried out with pleasure,
bucking against him, trying to get closer as he rubbed her G-spot with his
finger, forcing her closer and closer to the edge. Still gripping her hair, he
pulled her head forward until his mouth brushed her ear. “And I promise you,
I’ll make you come as many times as I possibly can.” He nipped her ear.
“Starting now.”

Mercedes’s
body went stone still, her breaths slamming in and out of her lungs as her
climax gripped her. She thought she was hiding it, but Xander felt the way her
pussy clamped onto his finger, the way she trembled in his arms.

He didn’t
care if she came quietly or if she screamed so that the fucking neighbors came
running to help her. Either way, he was going to make her come again. Very,
very soon.

When she
finally relaxed, Xander pulled her to him, ignoring the hard on that was now
pounding incessantly between his legs. She might not want to be close to him at
the moment, but he couldn’t seem to let her go.

~*~*~*~

Mercedes
wasn’t sure how much more of this she could handle. Xander had somehow found a
direct link to her pleasure receptors, and he could set her off faster than
anything, including her favorite vibrator.

Now that
she was boneless from another intense climax at this man’s hands, she wasn’t
sure how she was going to be able to continue to deny him.

Eventually,
he was going to realize she was on the verge of giving in.

Oh, hell,
he already knew that much. She was the only one who believed otherwise.

When she
finally caught her breath, Mercedes pulled out of Xander’s arms and looked up
at him. She reached down to readjust her skirt but realized he’d already done
that.

“I’ve got
to take a call in a few minutes,” Xander said, still hovering above her. “It’ll
be over at noon.” He paused long enough to tip her head back so that she was
looking at him. “I want you to seriously think about what I’ve requested. If
you choose to give me the five days, I expect to see you in my office at that
time.”

“A little
quick, don’t you think?” she retorted, suddenly unsure of herself.

“No, I
don’t. If I had my way, I’d be inside you right here. Right now.”

A tremor
of need shook her from the inside out. The raspy tone of his voice said he was
on the edge too.

“Five
days, Mercedes. I want you for five solid days.”

“I don’t
think I’ll last five hours,” she told him honestly. She wasn’t a submissive. It
wasn’t like she could flip a switch and become something she wasn’t. That’s
what happened in romance novels, not in real life. And this damn sure wasn’t…

“Give me
five days to prove you wrong.”

… a
romance.

Could he
read her mind? She hoped not.

Regardless,
Mercedes wasn’t going to give him an answer right then. She had until noon,
which was… shit. It was only a little more than thirty minutes away. Not nearly
enough time to make a life altering decision like that one.

Xander
leaned down, pressing his lips to hers gently and then he pulled back. As soon
as he stepped away, she feared she might just slide down to the floor. Had it
not been for the windows at her back, she would’ve done just that.

She
watched as his impressive form walked right out of the conference room without
looking back.

Dropping
into the chair closest to her, Mercedes spun around and stared out the window.
How was she supposed to make a decision like this?

Five
freaking days. Was the man serious?

And when
the hell had she even decided she might possibly be able to do this?

What was
she supposed to do now? Did she write out a list of pros and cons? Probably
wouldn’t help because she knew good and damn well the pros list would be
significantly longer than the cons.

After
all, this was Xander Boone she was talking about.

The man
was infuriating, he was sexy, he was intimidating in a crazy provocative way,
and he was downright relentless when he wanted something. She’d seen it on a
recurring basis with the properties he wanted. He didn’t take no for an answer,
and he didn’t even have to resort to threats to get what he wanted.

He just
got it.

People
rolled over for the man. He had such a persuasive personality; he could get
someone to agree, and they would somehow think that the idea had been theirs in
the first place.

And now
he’d put her in his sights.

Mercedes
knew what her answer was going to be. It wasn’t an easy decision, but she
didn’t have a choice. As much as she wanted to tell him no, she knew she
wouldn’t. Giving him five days to prove himself wrong seemed the lesser of two
evils. She wasn’t going to be able to give up control. Not even to him.

Now she
just had to come up with a plan to come out a winner at the end of all this.
Because being a loser, which meant she’d give her heart and soul to this man,
wasn’t even an option.