Healed (14 page)

“It’s still not your fault he killed himself
, Bryce.” I reached over and held his hands. “It seems like he had a lot of demons.”

“I know.
But I certainly didn’t help. And I will have to face that knowledge for the rest of my life. Anyways, I just thought it was important to say. Anna thinks that he didn’t like her because she’s not pretty enough, but it had nothing to do with her looks. He, he just wasn’t into women. I, I wanted her to know that. But I don’t really know if I should say anything. I don’t know if she is still in love with him?”

Something in me twitched as he spoke.
It was in the way he had said Anna’s name and the way his eyes had glazed over that made me think that he had some sort of feeling for her. More than just concern that she know that Eddie hadn’t dissed her because he hadn’t thought she was cute enough.

“She’s really pretty
, you know. I mean, I guess I can see how she can feel like second best, being friends with you; she’s one of those girls you have to really get to know to fully appreciate her. But she’s beautiful. I wish she knew it.” He laughed, nervously. “I’m sorry for talking about her still. I just wish she knew how beautiful she really is.”

“Bryce, I’m going to ask you something.” I looked at him
, seriously. “I want you to answer honestly, okay?”

“Okay.”
He swallowed hard and I could tell he was nervous.

“Do you like Anna?”

“What?” He looked at me with a shocked expression and I held a hand up.

“I just want the truth, please. It’s okay.”
I held my breath as I waited for his answer. This could be the answer to all my prayers I thought. This could be the key to us both letting go.

“I don’t know how it happened
, Lexi.” He looked away. “I just feel like we have a special connection. Maybe it’s because both of our mom’s are dead.”

I tried to hide the smile that was spreading across my face. “So you like Anna
, right?”

“I’ll still marry you
, Lexi. I want to be the guy you believed in for all those years.”

“I don’t love you
, Bryce,” I spat out before I could stop myself. “I’m sorry and I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t love you, not like that. I thought I did. For soo many years, I thought you were the perfect guy and my savior, but it was a dream. There are no perfect guys and there are no saviors. And that’s okay. I’m okay with that.”

“You don’t love me?” He looked at me with a hurt expression and I
was still worried that I had made a huge mistake and misread the situation, but then he started laughing. He was laughing so hard that he started coughing and I looked at him in concern, worried I had pushed him to the breaking point.

“I’m sorry
, Bryce.” I peered down at him and he grabbed me and pulled me towards him.

“Oh Lexi Lord, do you kno
w how much I love you right now?” He kissed my cheeks and hugged me hard. “Thank you.” And then he started crying. I could feel his tears running from my hair down my face and dropping on my arms. They were warm and cooling, all at the same time and I just held him as he cried. We lay there for about ten minutes and then Bryce pulled away from me.

“As you can see
, I’m a bit of a mess still.”

“Aren’t we all?”

“So you don’t love me, huh?” He grinned at me and I shook my head.

“No. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He rolled his eyes. “It actually makes me feel better.”

“Because you love Anna?”

He shook his head. “No, no I don’t know if I love Anna.” He laughed. “It makes me feel more comfortable to be myself and make mistakes.”

“
Huh?”

“I felt like you saw me as your Prince Charming. And I’m not. I’m barely an average guy who’s trying to work out his demons. I was worried that you would always be disappointed in the real me.”

“Oh Bryce,” I sigh. “I never wanted you to feel that kind of pressure from me.”

“It’s okay.”
He shook his head and laughed. “And I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I think you should give Luke a chance.”

“What?”

“He loves you, Lexi. I don’t know if you see it, but he really loves you.” I felt my face go red as he spoke and I closed my eyes.

“I have to tell you something.”
My voice was uncertain. “Please don’t hate me.”

“What is it
, Lexi?” He looked at me, worried.

“I kinda love Luke and we kinda, you know.”

His eyes popped open and his mouth dropped. “You didn’t?”

I nod
ded, embarrassed and worried. I didn’t want him to be angry with me. I knew that I should have waited to have a conversation with Bryce before I let myself go into Luke’s arms.

“Wow.”
He laughed and shook his head. “No wonder Luke was acting so cagey.”

“Bryce, I want to ask you something. And I need you to tell me the truth.”

“Of course, Lexi.”

“Why were you and Luke at the hospital together the other day?”

“You know about that?” His eyes looked worried and he sat up. “You haven’t told anyone about that have you?”

“No.” I sigh
, anxiously. “I only know because I overheard a conversation Luke had with someone.”

“He didn’t tell you?”

“No. Why do you think I’m asking you?”

“I told him not to say anything.”
He sighed. “I can’t afford for it to get out.”

“For what to get out
, Bryce?”

“I suppose you have a right to know.”

“To know what?” I was losing patience.

“Do you remember that little girl we met in the hospital the other day. Shelby?”

I shook my head in confusion. “No, what little girl?”

The girl in the room when you fainted. You know
, when you saw Luke. I wracked my brain and tried to remember a little girl and a vague memory popped up. “I think so. Why?”

“Well, I’m not sure how to say this.”

“Is she your kid Bryce?”

“No.”
He laughed. “No.”

“Oh my God, she’s Luke’s kid isn’t she? He lied to me? He told me he never had sex. I wondered how he was so good.” Oops. I blushed at my words. “That’s why he hasn’t told me? He’s scared of what I’ll do if I find out he has a kid?”

“That’s quite a story, Lexi but no, that’s not it either.” Bryce laughed and I sighed with relief. “Shelby’s our sister, Lexi.”

“What?” I stare
d at him, flabbergasted. “What did you just say?”

“The kid your mom gave up. That’s Shelby. She had cancer. My mom was going to adopt her and now I’m trying to.”

“Wait, what?” I tried to grasp everything he was saying. “You found our sister?”

“I didn’t find her.”
He paused. “But she is our sister.”

“How do you know?” I frown
ed.

“Luke told me.”

“What?” I jumped up. “What do you mean? When? How did he even know?”

“He did some work at th
e orphanage. He saw the records,” Bryce sighed. “Don’t be mad with him, Lexi.”

“But I never told him my mom had a kid. Never. I was too ashamed. And he knew I was lying the whole time. He just pretended he didn’t know.” The tears pop
ped up again. “How could he do this to me?” My heart was pounding and I felt like I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.

“Lexi, I’m positive he didn’t do this to hurt you.”

“What is he? Your best friend now?” I turned away from him and started walking back to my car. “Are you the reason why he went to go and see a lawyer as well? Is he helping you to get our sister behind my back?” I shouted as I started to run.

“Wait, what?” Bryce ran after me. “What are you talking about? What lawyer?”

“I saw Luke talking to a lawyer on the street, that’s why I was late today.”

“Do you remember what street you were on
, or the name of the law firm?” He frowned.

“No, not really.”

“This is really important, Lexi, please.” He ran his hands through his hair and his golden ends looked all spiky. “I have been speaking to a lawyer about adopting Shelby, but I’ve been keeping it hush hush because I know if my father finds out, he’ll get Shelby shipped away somewhere. I haven’t asked Luke to help me with anything, Lexi.” He sounded panicked. “I hope my dad didn’t get to him.”

“Luke wouldn’t do that.”
I frowned though. I was no longer sure that I really knew Luke all that well anymore.

“The lawyer told me that my application is pretty strong but the only problem is I don’t have my own house and I am not very liquid.”

“Oh Bryce.” I grabbed him. “This is all my fault isn’t it?”

“No, of course not.”

“Yes it is. If you hadn’t given my mom the money to buy the house then you would have had a stronger application.”

“What?”
He frowned at me.

“I can never thank you enough for doing that for me and my mom
, Bryce. I’ll pay you every month until I repay the loan. I promise.”

“Lexi, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I never gave your mom any money. Certainly not enough to buy a house.”

“What? It wasn’t you?” My mind started ticking over and over and I frowned. “Then who?”

“I don’t know
, Lexi, but I think we need to pay a visit to my attorney.”

“Do you think we could visit Shelby as well?” I ask
ed a bit nervously. “I’d like to see her.”

“Of course. She’s wonderful
, Lexi. I just love her so much already.”

“Does she know about us?” I question curiously.

“No,” he sighed. “But maybe we should tell her today.”

“Are you sure? What if everything doesn’t work out well?”

“I think she needs to know the truth. No matter what happens.” Bryce looked determined. “I want her to know the truth.”

“Okay.” I nod
ded my head and my breath caught as a butterfly circled around me and then landed on my hand. It had wings of red, black and gold and I was mesmerized by its beauty and bravery. “Hello.” I whispered and then it flew away. I noticed that the sun had also come out. And I felt a fresh burst of energy and verve. This is a new beginning for me I thought. This is the time for me to start my life afresh: to live in the here and now.

Chapter 10

Bryce

I didn’t want Lexi to see how panicked I was, but my heart was in my throat as I drove to my lawyer’s office. Luke was probably the most trustworthy man I had ever met, but I knew how devious and calculated my father could be. If he had any clue that I was trying to adopt his illegitimate daughter he would do everything in his power to shut it down. Even someone like Luke might find it hard to say no.

I parked quickly and waited impatiently for Lexi to get out of her car. She looked at me
, with worried eyes, as she looked at the office. “This is where he came earlier.”

“I see.” I tried to quell my fears. “Let’s go in.”

“Okay.” She looked worried and I knew that she was also wondering what Luke could have done.

“I’m here to see Mr. Raynor
, please.” I spoke sharply to the secretary.

“He’s on a call
, Sir.”

“Tell him that it’s Bryce Evans and it’s really important.”

“Can you take a seat, Sir?”

“No. I need you to tell him now.”

“Okay.” She rolled her eyes and stood up before knocking on a door and walking into David Raynor’s office.

“Come on.” I grabbed Lexi and walked to the office. I pushed the door aside and walked in with Lexi standing next to me
, reluctantly.

“Mr. Evans
, I told you that…” the secretary looked at me angrily.

“Have a seat
, Bryce.” David waved me towards the chairs. “It’s okay, Margaret. I’ll speak to Bryce.”

“Yes
, Sir.” She glared at me before she exited the office. I saw Lexi looking at me with trepidation on her face. I knew exactly what she was scared about. I squeezed her hand and we waited for the lawyer to finish his phone call. She smiled at me quickly and squeezed my hand back and I sent up a quick prayer that at least something in my life was going right. Lexi and I were going to remain friends, even though our romance had fizzled out as soon as it had begun. Maybe my mom was in heaven looking out for me, I thought. She’d be happy to see that we had talked about our feelings honestly.

“Okay
, Bryce, how can I help you?”

“I want to know why Luke Bryan was here today. And I want to know what’s going on with Shelby.” I leaned forward and stared into his eyes. “And I want to know the truth.”

To my surprise, David Raynor put his head in his hands and sighed. A long deep heavy sigh. And then he looked back up at me. “Who’s this then?” He nodded towards Lexi and she stood up and offered him her hand.