You Belong to Me (6 page)

C
onstantin sat back behind his desk and waited, almost positive that Alexandra would join him as soon as she saw that he was alone. It took less than two minutes for her to arrive. She must have been watching for the count to leave the study. She would try to avoid Vasili. Constantin wouldn’t be that lucky.

She still hadn’t changed out of her work clothes and looked anything but a lady. After what Vasili had told him she had said to him, Constantin was afraid the oversight was deliberate. It would be her way of protesting, and he knew from experience that she could be quite stubborn about it. He almost wished he could make the trip with them, just to watch her rough edges being softened by a man who, by the look of him, was no doubt an expert where women were concerned.

Come to think of it, the change in events could be quite beneficial, he concluded. Had plans gone apace, the pair would have been wed in less than a week, which was not very
much time for them to get to know each other. But traveling to Cardinia first, which could take close to a month, depending on how encumbered they were, would give Vasili the opportunity to court Alexandra and win her over completely before they were actually married.

Knowing his daughter, Constantin had a feeling she wouldn’t be very appreciative of that possibility, not yet anyway. And, as expected, she got right to the point of her visit.

“When is he leaving?” she demanded.

“You are both leaving tomorrow.”

“Both? Then he didn’t cry off?”

“What made you think he would? What you told him? You disappoint me, Alexandra. I thought honor meant more to you than—”

“Enough!” she snapped. “I merely tried to end this farce by telling him the truth. But if he wants a woman who wants nothing to do with him—I should have known it would make no difference.”

When she said no more, he asked hesitantly, “But you will marry him?”

“I won’t be the one to cry off,” she replied with all the bitterness she was feeling.

“But you think he will?”

“Once he gets to know me—”

“Dammit, Alex, I know you are attracted to the man. I saw that myself.”

She gave a shrug that was supposed to indicate her indifference, but her tone was vehement. “I can’t deny he comes in a very pretty package, so pretty he’s more than likely as
vain as a peacock, but with the personality of a worm—a lecherous worm.”

“You have some reason for phrasing that remark just so?” he asked sternly.

“Merely that he flirted with me—
before
he knew I was his betrothed.”

“And you have so much experience with men that you know the difference between flirting and being friendly?”

Alexandra snorted. “Friendliness doesn’t call for endearments like ‘sweetheart.’”

Instead of the fatherly outrage she had counted on, he smiled. “I am delighted to hear that he was attracted to you, even dressed as you are. And since we have also established that you are equally attracted to him—”

“We didn’t establish that,” she cut in hotly.

But Constantin ignored her to finish, “—you could at least try to like him.”

She made him wait a long, tense moment before she said, “Very well, I’ll try.”

Constantin blinked in surprise. “You will?”

It had been such a bald-faced lie, she couldn’t repeat it, so she asked instead, “What was that you said about leaving tomorrow?”

“An unexpected development, I’m afraid. I had assumed you would be wed here, within a matter of days, but apparently you’re going to have a grand ceremony at the royal palace in Cardinia—at their king’s insistence.”

“Well, isn’t it fortunate that I can manage to pack in so little time.”

She said it so dryly, her opinion of the situ
ation was obvious, at least to her father. After all, women were known to take days, weeks even, to prepare for a journey. And although Alexandra usually traveled lightly, even she began packing several days before a scheduled trip.

“You’re wrong, Alex. He’s not trying to inconvenience you. It’s merely the time of year. His delay in getting here makes it imperative that you travel quickly now, to avoid the harsh snowstorms in the mountains.”

Her brows suddenly rose with interest. “I happen to like snow. You mean he doesn’t?”

The fact that she grinned as she said it made Constantin groan. “You wouldn’t intentionally delay the journey, would you?”

“To postpone the wedding?” Her grin got wider. “What do you think? Besides, it’s only fair that he finds out what life with me will be like.”

“Alexandra, I insist that you behave on this—”

“You’ve already gotten the only promise you’ll get from me, Papa, and you were lucky to get it.”

His face was turning red as he became upset. “You said you would try to like him.”

“Oh, I will, and I’ll have
lots
of time to do so before the wedding. Not tonight, however, so you’ll have to entertain our guest this evening by yourself. I have
so
much packing to do, after all, that I’m quite certain I’ll need a wagon for all my trunks.”

“You’ll pack lightly, dammit, just as you al
ways do. I won’t have you caught in one of those storms in the mountains because of your stubbornness. I’ll send the bulk of your things as soon—”

“Make that two wagons,” she tossed out as she headed for the door.

“Alex!”

She closed the door quietly behind her. She would have preferred to slam it, to throw things, to scream, but there was no point when she had already lost the battle, at least with her father. She still felt hurt and betrayed, and doubted she’d ever forgive him for that. And to think she had awakened this morning to an ordinary day. Now her whole world had been turned upside down, and it wasn’t going to be easy to right it.

But she would. It might have been a jolt to hear that the wedding was still on, when she had thought she had settled the matter to her satisfaction, but she was not defeated yet where the Cardinian was concerned. The anger still simmering inside her was no longer just for her father. She was now infuriated with that pretty-faced popinjay. How did he dare to still want her after what she had told him? And how did he dare to drag his feet in getting here, so that she had to be rushed in leaving?

Her hands were clenched as she marched up the stairs, and still tightly fisted as she pounded on the door to the guest room she assumed the count had been put in. Vaguely she noted that three of the upstairs maids
were loitering at the end of the corridor, but she gave it no thought, unaware that her betrothed was like a flame to moths in the way he drew females to him. Since she would rather be doing anything except having to deal with him again, it wasn’t surprising that she failed to make the connection.

She’d picked the right room, though. Abruptly Vasili Petroff stood before her, half dressed, his coat and boots removed, his white shirt open, the wrinkled tails pulled out of his pants, a wide stretch of chest and belly showing. Her eyes got ensnared, could move no farther than his chest, which was sparsely sprinkled with hair so light it was barely noticeable. He really was golden all over, like a tawny lion, and like a lion, he was a predator, and very, very dangerous. She knew this instinctively.

“Just the little wench I wanted to see.”

His tone was utterly condescending and contemptuous of her. It wasn’t difficult to guess why. She was still wearing her work clothes, minus her hat and coat. She hadn’t even bothered to repair her hair after returning from her ride. The tight coiffure she had started with that morning was now quite straggly, and without her hat to stuff the loose ends into, she had a number of errant, silky strands streaming down her back and shoulders. The people who knew her were used to seeing her this way, she tended to pay so little attention to her appearance. Guests were not.

When she looked up at his face, she was startled to see that he was smiling. And what
a smile. Her stomach seemed to turn over, which was such a funny feeling, she was appalled by the urge to giggle. She
never
giggled. She was never at a loss for words either, but for the second time that day, words deserted her.

Incredibly, in the space of a few hours, her memory didn’t do him justice. He was so beautiful, she found it hard to look at him with any calm, much less coherent thoughts. For God’s sake, was she going to have to mentally pull herself together every time she saw the man?

Getting yanked into the room and hearing the door close behind her brought her back to her senses real quick. With some contempt of her own, she cocked her brow and said, “Is this where you try to seduce me?”

His eyes had been inspecting every inch of her, yet it still disconcerted her to hear him ignore her question and remark with considerable surprise, “Jesus, you look like you’re fresh out of bed.”

On top of his condescension, that observation was more than she could easily tolerate, and recalled to her every bit of the anger she was feeling—for him. “It will be a wonder if I find my bed tonight at all. Thanks to your inconsideration, I’ll be packing all night.”

He stopped looking at her as if he’d like to see her back in bed, his in particular, and said with an indifferent shrug, “To answer your question, this is where I tell you that I’m on your side. I have no wish to marry, either, so
if you’ll just inform your father that you won’t have me, I’ll be able to leave here tomorrow without you, and you needn’t lose any sleep tonight packing.”

“You expect
me
to break the betrothal?”

“Certainly,” he said, his tone patronizing. “Women are known to be notoriously fickle.”

“I wouldn’t know. But in this case, there is a little matter of honor and sworn oaths that happens to mean something to me, much as I wish it didn’t. So you’ll have to be the fickle one and do the crying off, and I would appreciate it if you got around to it before you waste my time with a trip to Cardinia.”

“Impossible,” he replied, his exasperation beginning to show. “Just tell your father that you don’t want me. How difficult can that be for you?”

“I’ve already told him that, you dolt, clearly without result. But I’ve also given my word that I would marry you—if you don’t cry off.” And then she sighed. Getting into a shouting match with him was not going to help. She forced herself to use a reasonable tone. “Look, as long as we’re being honest with each other, Count Petroff, and are agreed that neither one of us wants to marry the other, why don’t you use the most obvious excuse and simply tell my father that I wouldn’t make a suitable wife for you?”

“An excellent idea, except it would be a lie. As a baroness, you are, unfortunately, quite suitable. That I don’t want to marry you, or any woman for that matter, is no reason to go
against my father’s wishes—at least, that is what my mother assures me.”

She gave him a look of disgust. “You let your
mother
dictate your life?”

She’d managed to get to him with that. He flushed, snarling, “You let your father dictate yours!”

“My father is one of the two parties who arranged this ridiculous marriage. I couldn’t face him again if I failed to keep his word. But your father is deceased.”

“All the more reason I can’t get out of this damned trap. My father is not available to be argued out of it, but yours is. So change your mind, wench—or do you need to hear how it will be if we marry? I promise you that you will never be anything to me but a nuisance, though one that I will endeavor to ignore. To please my mother, I’ll have an heir from you, and then you will be free to pursue your own amusements, as I intend to do. My life won’t change one bit, but yours most certainly will. Does that sound acceptable to you?”

Alexandra had to grit her teeth for a moment before she could manage a smile. “Certainly, as long as you don’t mind embarrassing public scenes.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Be warned. If you force me to marry you, you will be mine, and I don’t share what’s mine. And you won’t be able to ignore me, I promise you that.” And then she threw his words back at him. “Does that sound acceptable to you?”

He took a step toward her so that his height would intimidate her, but she didn’t budge an inch. “I don’t like threats, wench.”

“Who’s threatening? You told me how it’s going to be, and I merely told you how I’ll react. I’d sleep on it if I were you, Petroff. It’s liable to be the last night of untroubled sleep you’ll get.”

A
lexandra managed to close Vasili’s door quietly, just as she had closed her father’s door, but she couldn’t quite manage to do the same with her own, which was just down the corridor. She was so angry she could spit and chew nails. How did that man dare to threaten her with a loveless marriage, with mistresses—she hadn’t misunderstood his
amusements
—and with babies? Babies! He was tempting her and didn’t even know it, the cad, the arrogant swine! to mention the one thing she
did
want. But not from him. From anyone but him.

Her room wasn’t empty. Her loud entrance startled both Nina, who’d been bending over a valise on the bed, and Bojik, who gave a short growl before he realized who it was and charged Alexandra with a demonstration of apology.

She had locked him in her room that afternoon out of habit, because they would be having guests in the house, and he didn’t get along well with guests he didn’t know. She shouldn’t have. She should have let him run
loose to do what he did best to unsuspecting strangers. A chunk missing from the popinjay’s backside might have made that interview she’d just suffered through end more to her liking.

The thought calmed her somewhat. She hadn’t realized she could be vindictive—at least in her thoughts. Too bad she’d never use an animal as a weapon other than for defense, because it had been a really satisfying thought, imagining that Cardinian howling with pain.

After assuring the large wolfhound that she wasn’t angry about the way he had first greeted her, she glanced over at Nina, the valise, and the pile of clothes strewn across her bed. “So you’ve heard?”

“Everyone has heard,” Nina said neutrally. “What we don’t know is what you’re going to do. So I started packing in case you decide to marry the man, but I can just as quickly put all this away.”

Nina didn’t betray by the slightest expression which answer she’d like to hear, even if she
was
strongly opinionated and had already decided which answer Alexandra ought to make. Loyally, she’d support whatever Alexandra decided to do, though it was likely that there would be some arguments first if Nina thought Alexandra had made the wrong decision. Alexandra loved her for that.

Socially they weren’t equals, and they were the exact opposite in looks. Nina’s black hair was a riot of curls, and her light blue eyes were huge, giving her an owlish appearance
that could be disconcerting when she was serious. Otherwise, she was a sweet dumpling with her slight chubbiness, her short stature, her dimples, and her bawdy sense of humor. And they were the dearest of friends.

Alexandra sat on the edge of the bed and fingered a pale mauve ball gown, recalling the one time she’d worn it. She’d received her first kiss that night—from Christopher, and it had been everything she’d ever imagined a kiss to be.

She held up the skirt of the old gown and asked Nina, “What were you packing this for?”

“You’ll need something to get married in,” the girl said pragmatically.

Alexandra prayed it wouldn’t get to that point, and if it did, she’d insist on having a grand wedding gown made in order to buy herself more time. Perhaps something in black.

“You can forget about the valise,” she said decisively. “I want trunks, and lots of them. Have someone dig out whatever is in the attic, and then beg, borrow, or steal some more from town. I want enough to fill at least two wagons.”

Nina no longer contained her opinion. Her grin was self-explanatory. “So you’re actually going to marry a king’s cousin?”

Alexandra ignored her friend’s delight. “No. I gave my word I would, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen—not if I can help it. My betrothed thinks he can’t break the betrothal—I
know I can’t—and arguing with him about it isn’t going to get me anywhere. So I’ll just have to show him that I’ll make him a terrible wife.”

“But you’d make him an excellent wife,” Nina contradicted loyally.

“Not him I wouldn’t. But even if it were so, he’s never going to know it, and he certainly isn’t going to think it by the time I’m done with him.”

Nina sat down beside her and asked hesitantly, “Why don’t you marry him instead?”

“And betray Christopher?”

“Christopher ought to be betrayed,” Nina muttered.

Alexandra sighed, not prepared to argue with her friend about the love of her life—again. None of the Razins had anything good to say about Christopher anymore—
especially
not Nina—and she was tired of taking his side when she had nothing to show to support her loyalty.

“Even if I weren’t in love with someone else, I wouldn’t marry that arrogant Cardinian. And before you build up to a really good protest, you might as well know he doesn’t want to marry me either.”

Nina was incredulous, not to mention indignant. “He said that?”

“He did. But he still plans to sacrifice himself
and
me, even though his father isn’t alive to be disgraced by his breaking the betrothal. And would you like to hear what
he
has planned for our marriage? To get a child from me and then to ignore me. He threw it in my face that he’s
got mistresses and will continue to keep them. Of course, he’ll be magnanimous and allow me some lovers.”

“He said
that?
”

“He did.”

Nina bristled. “Well, you aren’t going to marry him. I won’t let you. And neither will your papa, once you tell him about this.”

To that, Alexandra snorted. “That’s what you think. I told him that the man flirted with me before he knew who I was, and he was
delighted
. Petroff proves himself to be a damned libertine, and all my papa sees in that is that he was
attracted
to me. So Papa’s not going to believe the rest of this, not when he knows I don’t want this marriage. He’ll think I’ve made it up and probably be too embarrassed to confront Petroff about it. Even if Papa did mention it, I’d wager even money that the arrogant coxcomb would take the coward’s route and deny it. After all, they’ve had their little meeting and seem to be getting along wonderfully. If the man didn’t admit his true feelings when he had the chance, he won’t now. Only
I
was privileged to be informed of them.”

Nina stared broodingly at the floor for a moment before she replied, “It sounds as if you will have an…aristocratic marriage.”

Alexandra dropped back on the bed, laughing. Nina turned to scowl at her.

“It’s not funny,” the younger girl said.

“I know.” But Alexandra was still grinning. “I wasn’t blind at all those balls and parties I
attended in the cities, in St. Petersburg especially. More than half the married people I met were having affairs. And, appallingly, the women discuss it, either by gossiping about someone else or by bragging about their own conquests. What the Cardinian suggested is standard practice in his circles, I would imagine. I just don’t believe he thought I was aware of it, since he was trying to shock me into breaking the betrothal, not to propose to me a normal marriage.”

“But you don’t want that kind of marriage. You’re too possessive to tolerate—”

“I am not.”

“I know you, Alex. You’d take a horsewhip to a husband who wasn’t faithful to you.”

“I would not,” Alexandra protested vehemently.

She was aware that she’d said something quite different to Vasili. But that had been for effect. She certainly hadn’t meant it.

She added for good measure, “I couldn’t care less who that man sleeps with before or after the—never mind, there isn’t going to be any wedding anyway. I told you, I have no intention of marrying him.”

“‘If you can help it’ were your exact words, and just how do you intend to do that?”

Alexandra dropped an arm over her eyes before she sighed. “I don’t know. Delaying this journey with the wagons was as far ahead as I’ve thought.”

“That might annoy him, but it won’t make him refuse to marry you,” Nina pointed out.

“I know, so help me think. What would make a man refuse a marriage he’s already agreed to?”

“Repugnance,” Nina suggested.

“Shame,” Alexandra added.

“Disgust—”

“Wait, I can handle that one,” Alex said excitedly as she sat up.

“Good, because you couldn’t have managed repugnance, no matter how hard you tried. And I can’t see you managing to disgust him either, for that matter.”

“I already have.” Alexandra grinned. “As toplofty and disdainful as he is, he took exception to the way I’m dressed, found me quite disgusting, or so his expression said. And you can be sure he didn’t like my frankness one bit either. So that’s it, Nina.”

“What is? You’re still betrothed to him, so how did that work?”

“It hasn’t yet, but then, he’s only met me, he hasn’t met the
new
me.”

“Ah, a little pretense.” Nina nodded. “Is that what you have in mind?”

“No, a
lot
of pretense,” Alexandra said, warming to the idea. “He must already consider me a provincial, but I’ll be the worst provincial he’s ever encountered. I’ll be coarse and vulgar, ill-mannered, an utter embarrassment to him. He’ll be horrified at the very thought of introducing me to his family and friends. And he’ll quickly conclude that even his father would have broken the betrothal if he could have seen how I turned out.”

“This sounds like fun.” Nina grinned.

“Then you’ll come along with me?”

“You thought you could leave me behind?”

Alexandra laughed and hugged her friend. “It shouldn’t take more than a week for him to send me back, so we won’t be gone that long. I’m still going to cart along everything I own, though.”

“You still think you’ll need the delay the wagons will cause?”

“I hope he’ll come to his senses in only a week, but I’m not leaving anything to chance. If I do need more time to convince him he’d be a fool to marry me, then I’ll have it. But don’t worry about the packing. Just stuff everything in the trunks when they get here. I’ll send him a bill for whatever is ruined because there was no time to pack properly, as soon as this betrothal is over.”

“That will be throwing salt on an open wound,” Nina predicted.

“I’m counting on it.”

Nina left to start gathering the trunks, but Alexandra had only a few moments alone to reflect on what she had decided to do. Anna arrived, and the feelings of hurt and betrayal that Alexandra had been trying to ignore returned with a vengeance.

“Your father tells me you won’t be joining us for dinner,” Anna began.

“I’ll be too busy packing.”

Anna couldn’t miss the bitterness in her tone. “I’m sorry, Alex. I know you’re against this marriage right now, but you must admit
your father picked an exceedingly handsome man for you.”

An exceedingly handsome,
rotten
man, whom she wasn’t going to discuss. “So you
did
know about the betrothal?” Alexandra said instead, as if it weren’t a foregone conclusion, considering how close Anna was to the baron.

Anna winced. “Yes, and your father listened to everything I had to say about it, which was a great deal. He just wouldn’t agree with my opinion.”

“You could have warned me, Anna.”

“I’m your friend, darling, but you know my first loyalty is to your father.”

Alexandra did know it, and she had never resented Anna’s relationship with her father. She even hoped that Anna would give in one day and marry him, which she knew was his hope as well. And she should have known that Anna wouldn’t have approved of something as archaic as a betrothal, that she would have been on her side.

“I believe your father was afraid you would run away if you knew beforehand,” Anna continued.

If Alexandra had known and hadn’t run away, she would be wishing right now that she had, instead of wishing she’d been given that option. But she relaxed her tone and even offered Anna a smile. It certainly wasn’t the older woman’s fault that any of this had come about.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve already accepted
what I must do,” Alexandra said truthfully, since she wasn’t referring to getting married. “So take care of my papa.”

“You know I will.”

“You might also prepare him for my return.”

Anna was startled by that remark, but after a moment she laughed. “Now, why don’t I think that you are referring to a visit?”

All of the bitterness Alexandra had been feeling returned abruptly, and with an aching heart she promised, “If I
do
have to visit, Papa won’t be forgiven.”

“Oh, Alex.” Anna sighed. “He only wants what’s best for you.”

“Then it’s too bad we couldn’t agree on what that is, isn’t it?”

Anna shook her head sadly. “If you change your mind about dinner—”

“I won’t.”

But Alexandra did; at least she decided to make an appearance when it occurred to her that a little rudeness and a vulgar display or two, made in the presence of both the Cardinian and her father, would give Vasili the perfect excuse to protest this marriage. Of course, she’d do nothing too outrageous, nothing she hadn’t done before, so her father couldn’t claim her behavior was out of the ordinary just for their benefit, even though it would be. And it would also give her father the opportunity to see how Vasili disdained her and that whatever attraction Constantin had deluded himself into thinking Vasili had felt
when he’d first seen her certainly wouldn’t withstand such disgust and contempt.

She couldn’t have asked for better timing. The lavish dinner that her father had planned in order to impress the Cardinian was well under way, the main course just having been served. Anna had donned her finest gown; Constantin looked grand himself in his formal evening wear. And Count Petroff—she was going to have to keep her eyes off him. One brief glance at that superb body, at that beautiful face, and she nearly forgot what she was doing there.

He was impeccably groomed, of course. She had expected nothing less from the fastidious popinjay. So was his companion, the one with the friendly blue eyes, who happened to be the first to notice her in the doorway. He didn’t appear shocked, merely surprised, that she hadn’t changed for dinner and was still in her work clothes, her hair even more straggly than before since she had purposely pulled loose a few more locks. But then, she wasn’t there to have dinner.