Wounded (In My Dreams) (6 page)

“No, just someone who gets loss and pain so strong it’s debilitating, exhausting just to live with,” he answered gently. “I know you were at the doctor, and I hope they find a way to help you, but you have to consider that’s what’s making you feel so bad.”

“I have. I thought that for a while, but it’s getting worse, not better. Then I thought it
was
the extra weight making me worse too. It just seems like something more. Who knows?” I trudged up the hill, grateful he let it go.

I wasn’t the only one who looked winded when we got back to my house. Then again, he’d been living on the streets so he had months of malnutrition. And I doubted hitting the gym was on his regular schedule.

“So what do you normally do now?” he asked as we walked into the kitchen.

I glanced at the clock and snorted. “Still asleep normally.”

“Okay, but once you’re up,” he drawled, letting me know I was being a brat.

“I take my vitamins and boot up my computer. I return some emails and then figure out breakfast,” I answered. “It’s a work day.”

“It’s Saturday.”

“So?” I challenged, shooting him a smile.

“Fair enough. Let’s see what your vitamins are.”

“I always say I don’t need an assistant, but a zoo keeper, one experienced dealing with large animals,” I joked as I showed him the bowl I kept on the counter with pills.

“You are too much,” he chuckled as he moved by me. I opened one bottle at a time, answering when he asked how often I should take them. Then he asked if he could have an allergy pill too since he had a seasonal problem. Of course I agreed, and then pulled out a small notebook where I generally wrote down grocery lists or anything else I needed. “Okay, so anything we need goes there. Got it. Go do your emails. I’ll handle the grill.”

“You’re kind of my hero and not just because you saved my life,” I purred before walking out of the kitchen and to my office. I started up my computer and sorted through my normal hundred morning emails. Most were junk or didn’t need to be replied to, but at least a quarter did, so I handled that, grateful once again I could type faster than I talked.

I opened the book I was working on, stood, and stretched. Then I walked into the kitchen and grabbed the top of my new Ninja blender. That thing was
amazing
, cutting through ice like air. It was pricey, but so far totally worth it. I put in the ice, protein shake powder, banana flavored vitamin supplement, instant coffee mocha, and then the almond milk since I was lactose intolerant.

Jasper asked about all of it when he joined me, watching how I put the blender back together and what setting. I had a feeling he knew how to use a damn blender, but it was more that he was thoughtful in regard to my belongings and didn’t want to break anything. That won
big
points in my book. I poured the shake into a big plastic glass and went to grab a bendy straw.

There wasn’t much I wouldn’t drink without a bendy straw. Yes, sometimes I was twelve.

“This is
really
good,” he moaned. I turned around and saw him sneaking another sip from my glass.

“You want one? I have strawberry additive too. Banana goes with the chocolate or caramel instant coffee, but I’m a chocolate fiend so I tend to defer to that.”

“Oh, I love banana and caramel.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at his enthusiasm over something as basic as a protein shake. Then again, it was something better than what he’d had recently in life. I found myself appreciating how lucky I was instead of focusing on the negatives in my life, which was all too easy and most of us did.

I rinsed out the blender while he gathered everything. I bit back a smile and focused on my own shake when I saw him reaching for the Splenda and adding a few teaspoons. Good to know I wouldn’t be the only one in the house with a sweet tooth.

When his shake was done and poured, he carefully rinsed out the blender and immediately put the parts in the dishwasher. God, he was considerate.

I grabbed a smoke and went out on the deck, plopping down in the sun and lighting it.

“You smoke?” he asked when he joined me.

“I was chain smoking when the cops were interviewing us,” I chuckled. “I stepped outside last night to have a couple.”

“I was so nervous about dealing with the police I didn’t notice. And I thought you were checking on something.”

“Don’t start on me about it,” I warned, frowning. “When people do, it fries my nerves and then I smoke.”

“No, it’s cool. You’ll quit when you’re ready. I was going to ask if I can have one. It’s been forever, and god, does it sound good.”

“Help yourself.” I shrugged and told him where they were. He darted back inside and then lit one of his own, sitting with me on the resin chest that had a bench seat. For a few minutes, we just sat there, taking in the peace of my big yard surrounded by woods on two sides. I liked that he got it was how I settled myself and just
was
for a few minutes, letting what I needed to do in the day digest.

“I changed the gas and cleaned the grill. I left the empty one in the garage. I was thinking I’d clean the smoker next. What else can I do?” he asked as he leaned his arms on the railing, staring into the woods. “It’s so damn pretty here. Peaceful. I can totally get why you picked this place.”

“Yeah, it’s hard because I wanted the big yard for pup, but I’m still glad I picked it.” That made me think of something else. “Right, the guys come every Monday to mow. Garbage is
really
early Tuesday morning so I put it out Monday night. The cleaning woman comes every other Saturday, but she does only the basics, so anything else special is extra or she skips. She’s a sweet kid, but does
exactly
what is needed so like I find she doesn’t vacuum under things, or take the next step ever.”

“I can mow the lawn and clean, Lily. You don’t have to pay people.”

“Maybe on the lawn. It’s only thirty-five dollars a week and there’s almost half an acre,” I hedged, wondering if I was asking for too much already. “But they leave the clippings on the grass which I hate, but bagging it all is a huge job. I have a blower that could just push it down into the woods, but that’s a pain too. They do tend to pull up the grass if it’s rained recently. I have a couple of muddy tire marks now.”

“It’s up to you. I can do it.” He shrugged and shot me a smile. “I might not be as fast as the badass riding mowers they probably have, but I do good work.”

“Never doubted it,” I snickered. “But for now, I have more than enough for you to handle.”

“
Like?
”

“The deck needs a spring wash. There’s lights out on the front porch. They’re too high for me and one is over the stairs and I’m not that talented with just a step ladder. I’d like someone to look at the water softener because the last guy I had out here didn’t seem to know what he was doing and flooded the laundry room. It’s not eating through enough salt for as high of a setting as I have it on. I mean, it’s faster now, but it softens the outside water, so all my spring watering has been using the salt.”

“Why would someone rig it to soften the
outside
water?” he hedged, glancing at me.

“Fuck if I know. I didn’t do it.”

“You said you rent. Why not call the landlord?”

I let out a snort, used to that question. “Because he never really fixes anything and normally breaks something new when he’s here. Last time he tracked dog shit all over the cream carpeting in the family room and
I
had to spend two hours cleaning it up.”

“Oh geez. So no Bob Vila, more the Tim Allen character,” he joked, shaking his head.

“I kinda love that you know the references. How old are you?”

“Twenty-eight. I heard you say you were thirty.”

I couldn’t help but smirk. “That’s just the age I’ll finally admit to.”

“That’s cool. Older women are sexy.”

“Don’t make me beat you,” I groaned, putting out my cigarette as Jasper did. “The lawn could use watering since it needs tomorrow to dry before they come Monday.”

“Cool. I got this. I’m the handyman.” He hopped up and rubbed his hands together. “Do I get a tool belt?”

“Sure, if you can find it in my tools. They’re all over the place. When I moved in, workers kept coming and going and needing
my
tools. I swear they never all made it back home to the garage tool chest. There’s an extra bag of them downstairs in the laundry room just so I don’t have to go up and down the stairs all the time for stupid shit. But those stay down there.”

“Okay, go write. Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll be quiet as a mouse and handle it all.”

“We shall see,” I drawled, heading inside. “We shall see, Jasper.”

Sure enough, he was though. Okay, maybe not
that
quiet, but I barely noticed the slight noises he made while changing the lights or cleaning the smoker… Whatever else he was doing. The birds constantly chirping was louder than him and nothing that was an issue over the sound of my taping on my keyboard.

I did tend to make a lot of noise though. I didn’t tap—I kinda
thunked
. I was special like that.

“The filter wasn’t attached properly on the water softener,” Jasper informed me as he walked into my office and plopped down on the chair at the joint desk to mine. “I fixed that and I’ll keep an eye on it to make sure it’s doing its thing. Lightbulbs changed out, but you need more white ones. You only have colors left.”

“Add it to the list,” I muttered as I finished up the paragraph I was working on.

“Did that, but just letting you know I did check. I also added deck cleaner since you don’t have any.”

“Oh shit, I knew that. I forgot, sorry,” I groaned and glanced at him. He just shrugged.

“Smoker’s cleaned out and plugged in, ready to use. The front lawn is watered, so are the sides of the house. I have it going in the back now. I pulled some weeds back there and tilled that dirt patch you were talking about. I’ll shovel it out and drag it down to the woods later. I also trimmed some dead branches off the bushes in the back. I threw them in the fire pit and figured we could just burn them tonight and roast weenies or something for dinner.”

I blinked at him a moment before checking the clock on my computer. “You did
all that
in four hours?”

“Yes, and I’m
wiped.
What do you say to lunch and a nap?”

“I’d say that’s my version of heaven,” I joked as I saved everything I was working on.

“How far did you get?”

“Five thousand words,” I answered after checking my tally.

“Is that good?” he inquired as we both stood and headed into the kitchen.

“I shoot for nine on writing days, but yeah, I’m happy with that for one morning.”

“I’ll grab the trays and we can eat at the counter while you sort through that
stack
of mail you have,” he told me, shooting me a smirk, before jogging downstairs.

“Nobody likes paying bills,” I called after him.

“You still have to do it!”

“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered and hurried back to my office. There was something else I’d wanted to do before lunch. I quickly pulled up the site on my computer and printed out some options. When he came back with his arms full of trays, I set the pages on the counter and grabbed plates and drinks.

“What’s this?” he asked, glancing over at the top paper as he set everything down.

“You need a phone.”

“Lily, no I—”

“These are the free options I can get since I’ve been a customer for a year and it’s ten dollars a month difference to add a line to my plan. You’re getting a phone.” I shot him a quick glance as I sat down at the counter. “There’re calls you’ll need to make that you’ll want to do privately. Besides, you might need to call me when I’m out or vice versa.”

He was smart enough to catch my hint. “I checked out that VA stuff you printed. I was going to ask if I could call Monday.”

“Of course.” I felt the tension in my shoulders relax. It wasn’t like I wanted to harp on him about going to counseling, it just seemed smart—and safer for me if he had night terrors.

“Will you go with me?” he muttered as he loaded his plate with food. “I know it’s on base so that’s not too far. I just don’t know if I can go alone.”

“I get it. You’re going to reopen some wounds and that’s not something you want to walk out and be by yourself after.” I bumped his shoulder and grabbed more seafood dip. “Sure. If you can get in Monday or Tuesday, we’ll go hit Menards after. Nothing says dealing with issues more than getting tools. Do you know anything about chainsaws?”

“Yes,
why
?” he snickered, bumping me back as if grateful I didn’t make a big deal of his asking.

“A lot of people here cut up the fallen trees for their wood supply. I buy it like a lazy person. Okay, a person who shouldn’t play with a chainsaw because she’s a klutz, but, whatever. The last people who lived here made huge piles of wood for decoration, but that gets infested if not treated. I burned a lot of it last summer, but there’s much more.”