Unbeautifully Loved (Breathe Again) (10 page)

Lukas.

Shit
.

He was looking at me, grin vanished, his expression dark and dangerous as if he was having difficulties controlling himself. His dark eyes were looking at my shirt and what it was no longer covering.

My stomach clenched tightly as my face warmed, heat rolling through my body, shooting between my legs. I had the urge to run to him and throw my body against his solid chest and crash my lips to his, while my hands dove into his hair and fisted it by the handfuls. I had no idea where the thought came from but I pushed it aside as I heard a throaty growl come from him as if he had just read my mind.

“I’m umm... gonna go get dressed and check on Finn.” Before either could answer I turned on my feet and hurried out of the living room and up the stairs, not caring what I looked like while doing it. I hit the landing at the top and stopped to gather myself.

Lukas.

Down in my living room.

Looking insanely sexy.

And he had just seen me right after waking up and half naked.

I checked on Finn who was still asleep then went to my room and threw on my favorite pair of jeans and a plain purple tee, one that happened to hug me in the right places.

“What the
fuck!
” Mollie shouted.

Just as I expected.

I felt relieved as I slipped on my flip flops. I wasn’t looking forward to telling Mollie about the attack and now I didn’t have to. Lukas did it for me. And I was thankful for that.

I applied some mascara and pulled a brush through my hair quickly, deciding to leave it and pull it back in a messy pony tail. I took a closer look at the bump. It wasn’t too bad just red, noticeable and sore enough to give me a headache.

I made my way back down stairs and joined Lukas and Mollie in the living room just as Lukas finished telling her what happened. His eyes cut to me and before anything, Mollie rushed me and threw her arms around my neck.

“Molls...” I said softly wrapping my arms around her, then closing my eyes, wanting to avoid Lukas’ stare. “It’s okay, I’m fine.”

“Lexie... are you okay? You’re okay right?” she said in a hushed voice, not hearing what I had just told her.

“Yeah honey, I’m fine. Sore, a little banged up,” I pointed to my head, “and a few scratches, but other than that I’m just fine. I’ve suffered worse you know,” I said before I could stop myself.

Shit, I did not just say that.

The pair of eyes I felt bore into me confirmed it. Mollie gripped me tighter as she sniffled. “Hey I’m fine, I promise,” I rubbed her back softly.

“I believe you, just brings back memories of you with D–”

“Mollie, don’t, its fine, I’m fine, everything is
fine
.” I cut her off, my voice tight, but enunciating the last part and I hoped she caught it.

Mollie pulled back and looked me in the eye. “Right.” She said then wiped her eyes before turning to face Lukas, whose stormy eyes were intensely on me and full of questions.

“Is my jeep here?” I asked him, looking back at him and changing the subject as quick as possible.

“Yeah, parked and locked her up after I dropped you off. Keys are in your purse at the front door,” he said, his eyes unchanging and still locked on mine.

My heart skipped. “Thanks. Uh, do you mind bringing me back here after? It’s Waffle Sunday, Finn’s favorite.”

“Finn your boy?” he asked

I nodded my head. “Yeah.” My heart slammed against my chest like it was ready to burst out and land on the floor in front of me.

Mollie spoke before he or I could say anything else. “You guys go, do what needs to be done then by the time you get back, Finn will be up and I’ll have breakfast started. Lukas can join us, if he wants.”

My head snapped to her, ready to protest her suggestion when he spoke out. “We won’t be long, hour tops.”

My eyes shot between the two of them.

This isn’t happening.

“Wicked. Well go, see you guys in a bit and don’t worry Lexie, I’ll save the waffles for the queen.” She winked, then left the room.

As Mollie disappeared, Lukas walked over to me and slid an arm around my waist, pulling me towards him till I was as close as I could be– my breasts against his chest. He smelled amazing. Not just of cologne but of Lukas, a natural scent mixed with fresh laundry.

Damn.

If I could smell anything for the rest of my life, it would be him.

His free hand slid around my neck, pulling my head forward and his wet, warm lips brushed against my forehead softly, lingering for a second longer. I wanted to push him away and run but like last night I wasn’t going anywhere. I had no idea what was happening with Lukas and me but I knew whatever it was would only end with Dex being right.

I tried pulling away from him, but he wouldn’t have it. “Lukas, we should go so I can get back,” I said hoping I didn’t sound as nervous as I felt.

He gave my waist a squeeze before pulling back and guiding us towards the door. I felt like I was in a fog with my mind running all over the place. I didn’t even notice I had grabbed my purse until we were already out the door and walking to Lukas’ truck, his arm still around me the whole time.

It was before we pulled into the police station parking lot when it all of a sudden hit me that Lukas was joining us for our Waffle Sunday and was going to be meeting my son.

Anything I felt earlier was now gone, and replaced with panic, as my stomach twisted and knotted.

That can’t be good.

I just wanted to give my damn report to the police then go home to my baby and never have to see Lukas again.

“You don’t
have to stay for breakfast,” I blurted out, breaking the silence. “I mean you probably have better things to do than sit in a house with two women you don’t know and an almost five old. Really, it’s okay.”

We pulled into my driveway as we arrived back from the station. I knew his mind was elsewhere, it had been since we left there. I could see he was distracted. Like he was trying to figure something out.

When we first walked into the station, it was kinda weird.

We were greeted by officer after officer, who when they walked by us, would slap Lukas on the shoulder or back and congratulate him, but by calling him Gunn.

“Umm... Lukas?” I called hesitantly as we walked through a bright hall that brought us to a pair of stairs.

“Lex,” he said his eyes sliding my way as I walked
.

“Uh... why are they calling you Gunn?” I asked confused, my brows pulling together.

“Later,” he said looking away from me, not saying anything else.

We walked up the stairs and into, what I learned to be was the pit. Desks were scattered all around while officers sat behind a few, either on the phone or looking at the computer screen, while the phones were ringing non-stop. As we passed a few desks, the men sitting behind them, looked at Lukas smirking then grumbled, hey.

Lukas led us to one of the few offices at the back. Opening the door he motioned me inside then followed; closing the door behind us.

There was a man sitting behind a desk in front of us. His head was down while his fingers moved across his keyboard– one finger at a time. His shiny bald head came up when the door closed.

“‘Bout time you got here, Luke. I don’t have all day,” his voice was gruff, his tone matching his displeased look he had as he looked from Lukas to me.

“Lexie this is Detective Kincaid. James, Lexie,” Lukas said, introducing us.

I smiled shyly, softly saying, “Detective.”

His hard, displeased look faded and his mouth was no longer puckered like he had just eaten something sour. “Call me James, sweetheart,” he said.

He stood up from his chair and gestured to the chairs in front of his desk. I looked at Lukas, whose attention was narrowed on the window and something outside the office. I’m not sure what it was but whatever it was had Lukas’ full attention as his face was hard and his lips were in a tight line, and his eyes glaring at whatever was on the other side of the window.

“Lukas?” I said, placing my hand gently on his forearm.

“I have to take care of something,” he said not looking at me, just opening the door and leaving the office with the door slamming behind him, leaving me to look at the closed door.

I’d never been in a police station before, there were times with Dex I thought about reporting him but I knew once I did that, I was as good as dead. I took a seat in one of the chairs across from Detective Kincaid.

Other than a ratted old couch, a filing cabinet behind his desk, a small window directly in front of me, and a couple plaques and photos on his desk and wall, the office was bare and boring. And it had that musty smell to it.

I couldn’t keep my hands from fidgeting in my lap. I looked at the detective standing at the filing cabinet with his back to me. He was short, shorter than me, and slightly rounded, probably in his fifties.

I watched as his hands rifled through different folders, until he finally pulled one out, and closed the cabinet. “We’ll get this over with quickly Miss Todd. Detective Gunn filled me in on what happened, inside and outside of Fisher’s last night. All I need from you is to confirm what happened and anything else you may remember, so we can find this guy once and for all and finally lock him up,” Kincaid said looking at me before his eyes shifted to the folder he had on his desk.

“Detective Gunn?”

Detective Kincaid’s eyes found mine again. His brows knitted together, with confusion written over his face. “Luke didn’t tell you...?”

I shook my head slowly.

“Lukas is a cop, a detective none the less.”

Him being a cop frightened the hell outta me. He could find out anything he wanted if he had a reason to, he had all the connections. I started to panic as the knot in my stomach tightened.

Fuck.

Being a cop meant he was good at reading people, knowing when they were lying, and had ways of getting the truth from someone. Having a cop in my life, someone who would likely start figuring my shit out was the last thing I needed. Not that it mattered, because after the day was over I knew I wasn’t going to see Lukas again. That the ties would be cut and there would no longer be a reason for him to stick around.

My heart began to race as thoughts of my past with Dex started to run through my mind. The last thing I needed was having Lukas around and then having him find out about my past. Because Dex wasn’t just an abusive son of a bitch but he was also heavily into drugs and towards the end, before we left, it became known it went a lot deeper in ways I couldn’t even begin to understand.

‘You’re nothing but a lowly, pathetic punching bag baby. You knew it then and know it now, you could never do better than me.’
My body turned to ice as Dex’s voice and laugh filled my head.
‘You’ll see once you meet someone, who isn’t
me, they’ll find out everything about you and think you’re just as pathetic as I do for staying; it’s a cycle baby, one that will never break.’
He hissed in my head. He felt so close that I could faintly smell his breath hit my nostrils.

I sucked in a breath. I could feel Detective Kincaid’s eyes on me. “Lexie, you okay sweetheart?” he said, his voice low, all gruffness completely gone.

No. I wasn’t anywhere near okay.

“Yeah, sorry,” I lied.

Nothing screamed crazy lady more than hearing your ex inside your head. But it didn’t matter really, ‘cause Lukas and I weren’t together, and we never would be– regardless of what my body wanted when I was
around him
.

I needed a man, let alone cop, in my life like I needed my douchebag drug addict ex looking for me.

His round face hardened as he nodded. “Are you okay to tell me about last night? Sooner we get this done the sooner we can get back out there and look for him.”

I nodded, and started telling him everything about what happened. He didn’t speak for several minutes as he looked down at the file on his desk, then spoke, looking up at me with intense eyes. “I’m sorry you went through that Lexie, is there anything else you remember about last night, anything at all that may help us find him?”