The Secrets She Carried (47 page)

“I also told him no matter what the doctors say I want him to come back with me.”

If Jay was surprised, he gave no sign. “Did you think I wouldn’t approve?

“I don’t know. I’m not even sure I approve. All I know is he’s scared, and I can’t let him go through this alone.”

A strand of hair blew into her eyes. Jay brushed it aside. “You never banked on any of this when you came back here, did you?”

Leslie shook her head. “Avoiding Jimmy was a big part of why I came back, so him living with me now is a little unexpected, yes.”

“Maggie always said things happen for a reason.”

“Maybe they do,” she answered softly.

For years, she’d kept her childhood memories buried, content to leave them in the dark, untouched. In coming to Peak she had hoped to rid herself of them once and for all. Instead, Jimmy’s illness had forced her to face them head-on, to look at them in the light, and ultimately, to lay them to rest. And in the process, she had stumbled onto fresh secrets, unwittingly exhumed memories that belonged to another woman and another time, secrets that after eighty years had finally found their way into the light.

A fresh blast of wind sent a shiver down her back. Jay noticed and took hold of her arms, rubbing vigorously.

“You’re freezing. We should get back.”

Leslie pushed his hands away. It was hard to think clearly with him touching her, and there were still a few points of business that needed tending.

“This afternoon, while I was in the study, I started thinking. Now that we know the whole story, if you wanted to finish the novel, you could. And you’d have the study all to yourself while I’m gone.”

Jay threw his head back and laughed. “I wondered how long it would take you to get around to that. You made it all the way through your pancakes. I’m impressed.”

“Don’t j-joke.” Her teeth had begun to chatter. “You can’t tell me you haven’t at least thought about f-finishing it.”

Instead of answering, Jay unzipped his jacket and slipped it around her shoulders, then marched her back toward the shore. “Come on, you’re freezing.”

The jacket nearly swallowed her, but the corduroy lining was warm with his body heat. She pulled the collar tight.

“You’re changing the subject.”

“And you’re turning blue.”

Over her shoulder, she saw the lights of the Big House receding. “Why aren’t we going back to the house?”

“Because the cottage is closer. And because I have brandy.”

Leslie couldn’t argue with that, content for the moment to let the subject drop until she could get her teeth under control. The close warmth of the cottage felt wonderful after the biting wind. Belle danced about Jay’s legs as he bent to adjust the flue and touch a match to the wood in the grate.

“I’ll pour us each a snifter in a minute,” he called, heading to the kitchen with Belle at his heels. “I’m just going to let her out back for a minute.”

Leslie slipped out of Jay’s jacket and moved to the hearth, holding frozen hands out to the flames. She didn’t realize Jay was back until Belle’s tags jangled in the quiet. She turned to find him holding out a snifter.

“Thawing out?”

“Starting to, thanks.” She sipped slowly, savoring the burn as it snaked toward her belly. “Can we talk about the book now?”

Jay reached for the poker and gave the logs a prod. “I don’t want to talk about the book right now, Leslie. I want to talk about something else.” He took her glass and set it beside his on the mantel, then took her by the shoulders, turning her to face him. “You said earlier that the heart wants what it wants.”

“Yes.” Leslie swallowed past the sudden thickness in her throat. “We were talking about Adele.”

“What about you? What does your heart want?”

Leslie let her eyes slide to the fire, staring at the wavering amber
flames. She could feel him staring, waiting for an answer. He was close now, his breath soft on her cheek, warm and brandy scented, leaving her faintly dizzy.

“I don’t know,” she said finally, softly.

“Yes, you do. We both do. And I need to hear you say it.”

Leslie closed her eyes. “What if I can’t?”

But even as she formed the words she was leaning into him, reveling in the thud of his heart against her ribs, the feel of his mouth closing soft and insistent over hers, driving away her last shreds of denial. Maggie was right. Things did happen for a reason, and Jay and this moment were part of that.

“Say it,” he murmured again, his lips still warm on hers.

Leslie pulled back, feeling slightly off balance as she looked up into those warm amber eyes. “All right, I’ll say it. I want you in my life. I want you to stay—with me. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“It is.”

The smile he gave her set little wings fluttering in her belly. She placed her hands on his chest, fingers spread. “I warned you once that I’m not any good at this.”

“And I seem to recall telling you the same thing. I’ve heard, though, that practice makes perfect. What do you say we give it a whirl?”

Leslie nodded, feeling absurdly giddy as she pressed her forehead to his. “I still don’t know how this happened. I certainly never wanted it to.”

Jay pulled back, scowling. “Gee, thanks. Should I stop kissing you?”

Leslie slid an arm around his neck and drew him close. “Promise you’ll never stop kissing me.”

T
he sun was well up when Leslie opened her eyes, splashing the pale blue walls of Jay’s bedroom with late-morning light. The smell of coffee tickled her nose. Sitting up, she pushed the hair out of her eyes to find Jay grinning down at her.

“Morning, Sunshine.”

Leslie propped herself on one elbow and reached for the coffee. “You really are too good to be true,” she said, eyeing him over the rim. He was still in his pajamas, shirtless, hair standing on end in a way that would have looked messy on most men.

He reached out, pushing a strand of hair off her cheek. “Bed hair agrees with you.”

A pleasant warmth surged into her cheeks. “I’ve got you to thank for that.”

“It was my pleasure. Now, scoot over so we can eat.” He pointed to a tray at the foot of the bed, then stretched out beside her, handing her a plate of toast and bacon. “How’d you sleep?”

“Like the dead,” she said, crunching a piece of bacon. “I didn’t hog the bed, did I?”

“Not unless you call a pair of knees in my back hogging the bed. Though I might just miss those knees while you’re in Connecticut.”

“You could always come with us.”

“I wish I could, but it’s bottling time. I can’t leave Buck now. You could stay with my parents if you want, while Jimmy’s in the hospital. It’s a quick train ride into the city.”

Leslie’s brows lifted. “Without you?”

“My mother will love you. She’ll be thrilled to know her son isn’t destined to die bitter and alone.”

A flutter of invisible wings tickled her insides at the implications of Jay’s remark but she was too happy to risk breaking the spell with a lot of questions. For now she’d let it pass. “And your father?”

Jay’s eyes slid to her breasts, lingering on the rise of pale flesh just visible above the sheets. “Well, if you show up dressed like you are now, he’ll probably chase you around the kitchen. Seriously, though, if you’re interested, I’ll call and make the arrangements.”

Leslie wet her lips nervously. “Speaking of fathers and arrangements, I was thinking…”

Jay’s toast hovered halfway to his mouth, his eyes suddenly wary. “Yes?”

“I was thinking that if the doctors say it’s okay, maybe Jimmy could move in here.”

Jay put down his toast and brushed the crumbs from his fingers. “Nothing against your father, Leslie, but there’s barely enough room for Belle and me.”

“No, I thought—” She looked down at her hands, wadding and unwadding the sheets in her lap. “I thought maybe the two of you could switch places.”

“Switch…as in I move into the Big House, and Jimmy moves in here?”

She still couldn’t look at him. “If it’s too soon, just say so. I know it’s moving awfully fast, but I thought—”

“It’s not too soon for me, but it might be for your father. Just playing
devil’s advocate here, but how do you think he’s going to take getting kicked out so I can move into his daughter’s bedroom?”

“Honestly?” Her eyes came up from her lap. “I think he’ll jump at the chance. He reminds me ten times a day that he can take care of himself. And it’s not like I’d be far away.”

“You haven’t answered me about the other part. He’s not going to have a problem with me moving in on his daughter?”

Leslie rolled her eyes. “You wouldn’t be moving in
on
me—you’d be moving in
with
me. And to tell you the truth, I think he’s wondering what took us so long.”

“I’m not the one you have to sell.” He took her plate and set it aside, then pulled her to him. “Talk to your father. If he’s okay with it, I’ll tell Belle to pack her Milk-Bones.”

Leslie spent the rest of the morning at the house, working through the packet of paperwork outlining Jimmy’s follow-up appointments. When she had a handle on the dates and times, she booked two round-trip flights and hotel accommodations a block from the medical center. She was grateful for Jay’s offer, but under the circumstances, she thought it best to stay close to the hospital, particularly if the news wasn’t good.

She felt a little better with the arrangements made, more prepared for whatever might come. So did Jimmy. When she finally folded the papers and slid them back into their envelope, he gave her fingers a squeeze, his Adam’s apple bobbing tellingly.

Leslie squeezed back. “Will you need help packing?”

He cocked an eye at her, the way he used to when she was little. “You know, I did manage to get there and back all by myself the last time. I think I can throw my skivvies in a bag.” He pushed back from the table then, but before he could stand she stopped him.

“There’s something else I want to talk to you about, Daddy. I was wondering if after we get back from Connecticut you might not want a
place of your own. I was thinking you might like to move into the cottage.”

Jimmy aimed one narrowed eye at her. “You’re talking about Jay’s cottage?”

“You wouldn’t be moving in with Jay, of course. He’d be moving out…and moving in here with me.”

“So, it’s like that?” He pursed his lips. “The two of you?”

Leslie nodded. “He says he won’t move in unless you agree. He’s coming over to cook tonight, but I wanted to talk to you first.”

“He’s cooking?”

“He’s a great cook, Daddy.”

“Well, I guess one of you has to be.” He broke into a crooked grin, wagging the eyebrows that were just beginning to grow back. “When you’re young you think you can live on love, but sooner or later somebody’s got to make the biscuits.”

“Then you don’t mind?”

“How could I? I knew he was the one for you the minute he threatened to kill me. So yeah, tell your boyfriend I’m okay with moving out to the cottage. Now, I’m going to scoot out to the barn to see if my varnish is dry. I’ll be back in time for dinner.”

Dinner was a pleasant and surprisingly comfortable affair, with conversation revolving around future improvements to the tasting barn. After dessert, Jimmy hung around just long enough to help with the dishes, then excused himself, saying he was tired and wanted to turn in early.

“He’s leaving us alone,” Leslie whispered as his footsteps faded up the back stairs. “Not that an early night is a bad idea. He needs to rest up before this trip. I’m worried about him at the airport. Our connection’s pretty tight, and he still gets tired pretty easily.”

“You could get him a wheelchair.”

“A wheelchair? He won’t even let me help him pack.”

Jay flipped off the light and dropped an arm around her shoulders as they left the kitchen. “I wish I could go with you, but Buck needs me here. And I suppose I’ve got a novel to finish.”

Leslie’s head swiveled, her eyes wide. “You’ve decided to write the end?”

“I think it was the letters that finally convinced me.”

“You read them, then?”

“After you left this morning. It’s pretty amazing when you think about it. The woman had every reason to hate Henry for what happened to her daughter, and yet she made sure he knew his son was doing well. I left the pouch of letters on Henry’s desk, by the way. I wasn’t sure what you planned to do with them.”