The Scars of Her Dragon (Dragon Guard Series Book 14) (3 page)

I hurt her. I caused the one person I was meant to protect, no matter what, pain by my own hand. I couldn’t save those girls and I can’t save her...from myself...

Tearing through the darkness, racing towards the sea, Kellan quickly erected his mental blocks. With everyone and everything, including his brethren, locked out of his mind, the Guardsman ran as fast as he could, not caring where he was going or if he ever returned. All that mattered was never again hurting the one the Universe made for him.

I’ll die before I leave another mark on her silken skin...

O
live felt hollow inside. There was a gaping hole where Kellan had been...and should still be. He’d severed their connection. Made himself unreachable. She knew their mating bond still existed. Could see it and feel it shining bright in her heart and soul. But her dragon had blocked himself from it...and more importantly, from her.

When his screams of terror had cut through her dreams earlier that night, she’d tried to use their bond to calm him, but nothing she tried worked. He was lost to his demons. His heart was pounding faster and faster. Olive could feel his beast pushing to be free, to fight the fight the man was losing. Pouring all the light and calm into his dark terror that she had, the little dove spoke to her mate, pleaded with him to wake, but the hold the past had on him was too tight. He was lost.

His dreams became hers. She felt before she saw the bullet rip through his leg. It was so real her skin burned from the silver. Her muscles felt shredded, while in her mind’s eye, the dove could actually visualize the poison as it raced to her heart and other vital organs. Watching Kellan stay on his feet, run for his life, and carry those girls while trying with all his might to save them, was nothing short of miraculous. His determination was a living, breathing entity within their shared fantasy. He was the strongest man she’d ever known.  

Olive’s heart filled with joy right along with Kellan’s when she was sure both he and the children were safe. Gasping in her sleep when the shrapnel tore through his cheek and abraded his forehead, Olive sprang from her bed. The dove ran to the mirror to be sure her face was unblemished. That was when it hit her like a freight train bound for hell—torment, sorrow, and an all-encompassing blistering wrath.

Her heart ceased to beat as the spark simultaneously extinguished in three sets of beautiful brown eyes. Her dove sought to escape the bounds of her mind and body, screeching alongside its mate, as Kellan’s dragon roared at the loss and injustice. It was too much to endure, completely inconceivable how a Universe who created and sustained so much beauty had let these three precious souls be taken long before their time. She now had intimate knowledge of the scars her dragon carried on his heart and soul. Scars so much more debilitating than the few that covered his face and those she now knew abraded his sides and back.

“Olive, honey, you really need to drink this tea. It’s Calysta’s special healing blend. Also, put this bag of ice on your neck, those bruises are only getting darker.” Claire’s coaxing pulled the dove from her thoughts, unfortunately reminding her of how bad her neck really hurt.

But it’s nothing compared to Kellan’s pain...

She could see the concern on all six of her cousin’s faces and really wanted them to focus on something,
anything
, other than her. Olive had never been one to like the spotlight even if it was her family. Claire and her new mate, Rory, should be off honeymooning, not worrying about her or what was going on in the clan, but she could see from the looks on the couple’s face that wasn’t happening any time soon.

“Yeah, they really are. Why aren’t you healing?” Delilah, the hawk shifter among them with a heart of gold and the ability to worry
too
much about
everything,
asked with a furrowed brow
.

“Just tired, I guess,” Olive smiled, trying to hide from her family how close to death she’d really come at the hands of her own mate.

But it wasn’t his fault. Wish he was here so I could tell him so...

“I could heal you,” Claire, a phoenix shifter and leader of their clan, offered.

“She’s getting really quick with those tears,” Claire’s mate and Kellan’s best friend, Rory, chuckled. “She tried to heal my papercut yesterday.” His cheeky grin and light-hearted snicker made everyone laugh and thankfully, relieved some of the tension in the room.

Olive smiled. Rory was a good guy, a big goofball, but a good guy nonetheless. Not to mention, super considerate to try to make them feel better when she could see the toll his concern for his best friend was taking on the Guardsman.

“Stop fussing, y’all. I’ll be fine. I’m gonna drink this tea and then we can get outta here. I’m sure Kellan doesn’t want to come home to find us all hanging out.”

If he comes home...

She smiled but knew even before she looked at her cousins that it was half-hearted at best and they weren’t buying a bit of it. Quickly changing the subject, she asked, “How did you guys know what was happening?”

Tapping her forehead, Ettie answered, “Lady, you blew your blocks. Woke me up screaming in your head.”

“I thought
you
were hurt.” Gabby blew her thick black bangs out of her eyes and slumped back in the biggest La-Z-Boy Olive had ever seen.

Cause my dragon is a big man...

Tilly and Karleigh giggled so hard, the dove prepared herself for their answer and could only shake her head as they explained. “Well...” Karleigh teased and batted her eyes.

“We might’ve been sneaking around the training pit...” Tilly added, at least having the decency to look a little embarrassed.

“Oh, you big prude.” Karleigh swatted at Tilly’s arm. “I’ll tell them.” Looking around the room, she winked at Olive before finishing. “We were trying to see those dragon boys all sweaty and shirtless.”

The room erupted in laughter. Leave it to a falcon and an osprey to be on the lookout for the hot men when everyone else was asleep. Which was pretty easy considering the Universe had shown special favor to Her dragons. They were the biggest, brawniest, best looking men anywhere in the world and her mate was no exception.

Kellan was at least six-foot-six or seven, almost an entire foot taller than Olive’s five-foot-eight. His hair was the perfect combination of brown with golden highlights that told her he’d been a dirty blonde when he was younger. She loved that it was longer and usually a little messy but really wished he didn’t use it to hide his striking features. Scars or not, he was a very handsome man.

Thinking of her dragon as a child made Olive smile. There was no doubt in her mind he’d been a rambunctious little boy who’d caused more trouble than most but had never seen a lick of punishment. She could imagine him flashing his whiskey-colored eyes and gorgeous smile causing whoever he’d offended to melt like butter.

I can’t wait to get lost in those eyes... If I ever see them again...

Although he didn’t smile much right now, the little dove knew it was something he’d done a lot in his early years from the tiny lines around his eyes and mouth that gave him a distinguished air. Then there were his dimples. Just thinking about them made her sigh.

She’d only seen them once but that had been enough for her to know she would do whatever it took to see them every day of their very long lives together. The image was indelibly etched in her memory.

It will happen. It has to happen. The Universe does not make mistakes. Yeah, yeah, yeah...heard it all before...

Thinking of those dimples, she remembered the day... They had all been together. Everyone was messing with Claire and Rory prior to their mating ceremony. The Guardsmen were acting like a bunch of teenage boys, which she was quickly learning was par for the course, when she glanced across the room and saw Kellan completely relaxed, laughing out loud, and having fun with his brethren.

It was amazing. Their eyes met. Her heart skipped a beat and the rest, as they say, was history. She was gone hook, line, and sinker. There was no doubt in her heart, mind, and soul they were made for each other.

Of course in the next breath, a dark veil dropped over Kellan’s face. He quickly looked away and she hadn’t even seen him again until he showed up on her doorstep with flowers and a painted on smile. To say he was keeping her off-balance was a serious understatement. Then again, she’d acted like less than a swooning mate by slamming the door in his face and running to her room.

“Olive, did you hear a word I said?”

Snapping to attention, the dove looked at Claire, whose irritated expression matched her tone. Acting appropriately apologetic even though she had no idea what had transpired while she’d been in la-la land, Olive answered, “No, I’m sorry. I was thinking about something else.”

Pulling his mate to his side and kissing the top of her head, Rory whispered to Claire, “Let me do this. You’re freaking out there, love.” Then to Olive, he winked and asked, “How long have you been dream sharing with our Kellan?”

Trying to answer without lying or giving too much away, the little dove finally decided it was no use. It was all going to come out one way or another. Nothing in her family ever stayed a secret. Everyone always found out everything, it was just the way it was when they were in each other’s minds ninety percent of the time.

“This was the first dream we’ve actually shared. Although he’s had nightmares before. I know, because I’ve felt how upset he is and know it’s while he’s sleeping so it made sense that it was bad dreams. I’ve also heard a few of his errant thoughts but nothing really significant, only a blip here or there because as I’m sure you know, he’s
really
good at building walls and locking people out.”

She bit her bottom lip and looked down at her hands before continuing. “I can feel how sad he is. The darkness that he works so hard to keep at bay is right here.” She touched her heart and finally looked up at Rory, who was nodding. “I know he’s trying to change and I know it’s for me.”

Once again she stopped, but this time she looked to Ettie, who mouthed,
“Go ahead. Tell him.”

Sighing as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders, Olive looked back at her mate’s best friend and quickly said, “I think it’s my fault he’s having these nightmares. He’s trying too hard to change for
me
too quickly. For some reason, he’s gotten it into his head that he has to be something he isn’t. I had planned to talk to him tomorrow...or later today,” she half-heartedly chuckled, looking at the clock on the mantle above Kellan’s fireplace. “But, I guess that’s not gonna happen now.” Then to herself, she mumbled, “Wish I’d have just stayed put.”

“Now, stop right there,” Rory dropped his arm from around Claire’s shoulders and stepped forward. Kneeling down with his arms crossed on the back of the couch, Olive was suddenly eye-to-eye with the Guardsman and reminded once again how tall they all were.

He spoke with authority and a tone she imagined he would be using for years to come with all the little red-headed babies he and Claire were sure to have, while looking Olive dead in the eye. “You did the right thing. You came when your mate called. It doesn’t matter that he didn’t know he was calling you. He needs you and he knows he needs you, but my boy isn’t gonna admit it, not even to himself. Never met a more hardheaded man in all my life...”

Claire’s snort from behind Rory had the Guardsman once again winking then saying out loud, “Just ignore my mate. I’ll deal with her later.”

“Yeah, act tough in front of the girls. You forget they know
exactly
what I’m capable of.” Claire chuckled as she walked towards the kitchen.

“So do I,” Rory mumbled under his breath while waggling his eyebrows.

Olive couldn’t help but laugh as he cleared his throat while grinning his cheeky grin then straightened his face and continued on about Kellan. “This nightmare was a bad one. That happens sometimes. Kell has the strongest mind of anyone I’ve ever known, but there are times it just gets to be too much even for him, so don’t you dare blame yourself for what happened tonight. There have been worse, trust me. There was a time a couple of years back when it took Rian and myself to get him off of Lenn. Kell spent two weeks in the caves before wandering back and apologizing so much Lenn threatened to stuff dirty socks in his mouth if he didn’t shut the hell up.”

Claire returned with a glass of iced tea for Rory and a fresh icepack for Olive. The dove looked around and was surprised to see her cousins waiting with rapt attention for the Guardsman to continue his story. She knew they were listening for her. They were all scared Kellan might do more than leave bruises on her neck, but Olive knew differently. Her fear was gone. One way or another, she would find an answer for her dragon. She would help him heal the wounds of the past.

Yeah, and I’ll walk on water and feed the masses while I’m at it. I really need my head examined sometimes.

The first step to helping her mate was knowing the whole story and the little dove was sure her big bad dragon man would not share the details, so she did the next best thing and asked Rory. “Could you see what he was dreaming about tonight?”

“No, I try not to eavesdrop even when he’s wide open like that. We all pay attention, but only if he starts to sleepwalk do we come running.” The Guardsman took a drink of his tea just as there was a knock on the door.

Gabby jumped up and barely got the door open before Maddox was bursting across the threshold. “What the hell? I’ve been hollering at you lot for the last hour. That crazy fool, Kellan, is sitting up on the ledge in nothing but his jeans staring at the waves like he lost his last friend. I know he had a nightmare. Who did he get this time?”

Olive’s shoulders slumped forward as she tried to hide her neck from prying eyes. She thought about smacking each and every one of her cousin’s silly as all eyes landed on her.

Way to keep a secret, ladies...

Shockingly, the mad dragon’s usual frown and blustery disposition immediately evaporated and was replaced with as close to a smile as she’d ever seen on his face and a soft tone that was almost scarier than Kellan’s dream. “Oh, lass, I’m sorry. You’ve got to know he didn’t mean it.”