The Notebook + The Proof + The Third Lie (28 page)

Lucas says, "Mathias has probably gone to look for something in his room. Start cooking the pancakes, Agnes. I'll be back in a moment."

Lucas goes into Mathias's room. The child is lying on his eiderdown. He says, "Leave me alone. I want to sleep."

"You invited them, Mathias. It's bad manners."

"I invited Agnes. I didn't know he was her brother."

"I didn't know either. Make an effort for Agnes's sake, Mathias. You like Agnes, don't you?"

"And you like her brother. When I saw you all come into the kitchen I knew you were a real family. Beautiful, blond parents with their beautiful, blond child. I haven't got a family. I haven't got a mother or a father. I'm not blond. I'm ugly and crippled."

Lucas holds him tight. "Mathias, my little boy. You're my whole life."

Mathias smiles. "Fine. Let's eat."

In the kitchen the table is set, and there is a large pile of pancakes in the middle.

Agnes talks a lot, gets up frequently to serve the tea. She pays the same attention to her little brother as to Mathias.

"Jam? Cheese? Chocolate?"

Lucas watches Mathias. He eats little and never takes his eyes off the blond child. The blond child eats a lot. He smiles at Lucas when their eyes meet, he smiles at his sister when she hands him something; but when his blue eyes encounter Mathias's dark stare, he lowers his gaze.

Agnes washes up with Mathias. Lucas goes to his room.

Mathias calls him later. "Time to walk Agnes and her brother home."

Agnes says, "We're really not afraid to walk home on our own."

Mathias insists. "It's good manners. Walk them home."

Lucas walks them home. He bids them good night and goes to sit on the bench in the insomniac's park.

The insomniac says, "It's half past three. At eleven o'clock the child lit a fire in his room. I took the liberty of calling out to him, something I wouldn't normally do. I was worried that he might set fire to something. I asked the child what he was doing, but he told me not to worry, he was just burning the rough notes from his homework in a metal pail in front of the window. I asked him why he didn't use the stove to burn his papers. He said he didn't want to go to the kitchen to do it. The fire went out shortly after, and I didn't see the child or hear any sound after that."

Lucas goes up the stairs, enters his room, then the child's room. In front of the window there is a metal pail containing some burned paper. The child's bed is empty. On the pillow lies a blue notebook, closed. On the white label is written:
MATHIAS
'
S
NOTEBOOK
. Lucas opens the notebook. There are only a few empty sheets and the edges of ripped-out pages. Lucas pulls open the dark red curtain. Alongside the skeleton of his mother and her baby hangs the little body of Mathias, already cold.

The insomniac hears a long scream. He goes down into the street, rings at Lucas's door. There is no reply. The old man goes up the stairs, enters Lucas's room, sees another door, opens it. Lucas is lying on the bed, clutching the child's body against his chest.

"Lucas?"

Lucas doesn't answer. His eyes stare wide open at the ceiling.

The insomniac goes back down into the street, he goes to call on Peter. Peter opens a window.

"What's going on, Michael?"

"Lucas needs you. Something terrible has happened. Come."

"Go home, Michael. I'll take care of everything."

He goes up to Lucas's apartment. He sees the metal pail, the two bodies stretched out on the bed. He pulls open the curtain, discovers the skeletons and, on the same hook, the end of a rope cut with a razor. He turns back to the bed, gently pushes the child's body away, and slaps Lucas on the face.

"Snap out of it!"

Lucas closes his eyes. Peter shakes him.

"Tell me what happened!"

Lucas says, "It's Yasmine. She's taken him from me."

Peter says firmly, "Don't ever say that again to anyone else but me, Lucas. Do you understand? Look at me!"

Lucas looks at Peter.

"Yes, I understand. What do I do now, Peter?" "Nothing. Stay where you are. I'll bring you some tranquilizers. I'll take care of the formalities."

Lucas hugs Mathias's body.

"Thank you, Peter. I don't need any tranquilizers."

"No? Well, try to cry at least. Where are your keys?"

"I don't know. Maybe I left them in the front door."

"I'll lock up. You mustn't go out in this state. I'll be back."

Peter finds a bag in the kitchen, unhooks the skeletons, slips them into the bag, and takes them away with him.

Lucas and Peter walk behind Joseph's wagon, which is carrying the child's coffin.

At the cemetery a gravedigger sits on a mound of earth eating some bacon with onions.

Mathias is buried in the grave of Lucas's grandmother and grandfather.

When the gravedigger has filled in the hole, Lucas himself plants the cross, on which is engraved
M
ATHIAS
and two dates. The child lived seven years and four months.

Joseph asks, "Can I give you a lift, Lucas?"

Lucas says, "Go home, Joseph, and thank you. Thank you for everything."

"There's no point in staying here."

Peter says, "Come, Joseph. I'll go back with you."

Lucas hears the wagon depart. He sits down by the grave. The birds are singing.

A woman dressed in black comes by silently and places a bouquet of violets at the foot of the cross.

Later, Peter comes back. He touches Lucas on the shoulder.

"Come. It will soon be dark."

Lucas says, "I can't leave him here on his own at night. He's afraid of the dark. He's still so little."

"No, now he's not afraid anymore. Come, Lucas."

Lucas gets up, he stares at the grave. "I should have let him go with his mother. I made a fatal mistake, Peter, in wanting to keep the child at any price."

Peter says, "Every one of us commits a fatal mistake sometime in his life. When we realize it, the damage is already done."

They go back down into town. Outside the bookshop Peter asks, "Do you want to come to my place, or would you rather go in?"

"I'd rather go in."

Lucas goes in. He sits at his desk, looks at the closed door of the child's room, opens a school notebook, and writes, "Everything is fine with Mathias. He is always first at school, and he doesn't have nightmares anymore."

Lucas closes the notebook. He leaves the house, goes back to the cemetery, and sleeps on the child's grave.

At dawn, the insomniac comes to wake him.

"Come, Lucas. Time to open the bookshop."

"Yes, Michael."

8

Claus arrives by train. The little station hasn't changed, but there is now a bus for the passengers.

Claus doesn't take the bus. He goes on foot to the town center. The chestnut trees are in blossom; the street is as quiet and empty as it used to be.

Claus stops in the main square. There is a large three-story building in place of the simple, low houses. It is a hotel. Claus goes in and asks the receptionist, "When was this hotel built?"

"About ten years ago, sir. Would you like a room?"

"I don't know yet. I'll come back in a few hours. Could I leave my case here?"

"Please do."

Claus continues walking, he goes across town, passes the last of the houses, takes an unpaved road that leads to a playing field. Claus crosses the field and sits on the grass next to the river. Later, some children start playing ball. Claus asks one of them, "Has this playing field been here long?"

The child shrugs his shoulders. "The field? It's always been here."

Claus goes back to town. He goes up to the castle, then the cemetery. He searches for ages but can't find the grave of Grandmother and Grandfather. He goes back down into town. He sits on a bench in the main square. He watches the people doing their shopping, coming home from work, going for walks or bicycle rides. There are only a few cars. When the shops close, the square empties, and Claus goes back into the hotel.

"I'll take a room, please."

"For how many nights?"

"I don't know yet."

"Can I have your passport, sir?"

"Here."

"Are you a foreigner? Where did you learn to speak our language so well?"

"Here. I spent my childhood in this town."

She looks at him. "It must have been a long time ago."

Claus laughs. "Do I look that old?"

The young woman blushes. "No, no, I didn't mean that. I'll give you our best room, they're almost all empty. The season hasn't started yet."

"Do you get many tourists?"

"In summer, lots. I also recommend our restaurant, sir."

Claus goes up to his room on the second floor. Its two windows look out onto the square.

Claus eats in the deserted restaurant and goes back to his room. He opens his case, puts his clothes in the dresser, pulls up a chair to one of the windows, and looks out onto the empty street. On the other side of the square, the old houses have remained intact. They have been restored, repainted pink, yellow, blue, and green. The ground floor of each is occupied by a shop: a grocer, a souvenir shop, a dairy, a bookshop, a boutique. The bookshop is in the blue house where it used to be when Claus was a child and went there to buy paper and pencils.

The next day, Claus goes back to the playing field, the castle, the cemetery, the station. When he feels tired, he goes into a bar; he sits in a park. Later in the afternoon, he comes back to the main square. He goes into the bookshop.

A man with white hair sits at the counter, reading by the light of a desk lamp. The shop is in darkness. There are no customers. The white-haired man gets up.

"Excuse me, I forgot to turn on the lights."

The room and window lights come on. The man asks, "Can I help you?"

Claus says, "Please don't bother. I'm just looking."

The man takes off his glasses. "Lucas!"

Claus smiles. "You know my brother! Where is he?"

The man repeats, "Lucas!"

"I'm Lucas's brother. I'm called Claus."

"Don't joke, Lucas, please."

Claus takes his passport from his pocket. "See for yourself."

The man examines the passport. "That doesn't prove anything."

Claus says, "I'm sorry, I have no other means of proving my identity. I am Claus T. and I've come to look for my brother, Lucas. You know him. He has certainly told you about me, his brother Claus."

"Yes, he often talked to me about you, but I must admit I never believed you really existed."

Claus laughs. "Whenever I spoke to people about Lucas, they didn't believe me either. Rather funny, don't you think?"

"No, not really. Come, let's sit down over there."

He points to a low table and some armchairs at the back of the shop, in front of the French windows opening onto the garden.

"If you're not Lucas, I had better introduce myself. I am called Peter. Peter N. But if you aren't Lucas, why did you come here, to this particular place?"

Claus says, "I arrived yesterday. First I went to Grandmother's house, but it's no longer there. There's a playing field there instead. I came in here because this used to be a book and stationery shop when I was a child. We often came here to buy paper and pencils. I can still remember the man who ran it, a pale, fat man. I was hoping to find him here."

"Victor?"

"I don't know his name. I never did."

"He was called Victor. He's dead."

"Of course. He was getting on a bit even then."

"That's right."

Peter looks at the garden disappearing in the darkness.

Claus says, "I naively expected to find Lucas in Grandmother's house after all these years. Where is he?"

Peter continues looking out into the dark. "I don't know."

"Is there anyone in this town who might know?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Did you know him well?"

Peter looks Claus straight in the eyes. "As well as you can know anyone."

Peter leans across the table, grips Claus's shoulders. "Stop it, Lucas, stop this play-acting! It's pointless! Aren't you ashamed to be doing this to me?"

Claus frees himself, gets up. "I can see you were very close, you and Lucas."

Peter falls back into his chair. "Yes, very. Forgive me, Claus. I knew Lucas when he was fifteen. At the age of thirty he disappeared."

"Disappeared? You mean he left this town?"

"The town and maybe even the country. Then he returns today with a different name. I always thought that play on words with your names was stupid."

"Our grandfather had that double name, Claus-Lucas. Our mother, who had a great deal of affection for her father, gave us these two names. It's not Lucas standing here before you, Peter, it's Claus."

Peter gets up. "Very well, Claus. In that case I must give you something that your brother Lucas left with me. Wait here."

Peter goes up to the apartment. He comes back shortly after with five large school notebooks.

"Here. These are meant for you. He had a lot more to start with, but he took them back, corrected them, erased everything that wasn't indispensable. If he'd had the time I think he would have eliminated everything."

Claus shakes his head. "No, not everything. He would have kept what was essential. For me."

He takes the notebooks, he smiles. "At last, here is the proof of Lucas's existence. Thank you, Peter. Has anyone read them?"

"Apart from me, no."

"I'm staying at the hotel across the way. I'll be back."

Claus reads all night, occasionally raising his eyes to look at the street.

Above the bookshop the light stays on for a long time in two of the three windows in the apartment. The third stays dark.

In the morning, Peter raises the metal shutter of the shop. Claus goes to bed. After noon, Claus leaves the hotel. He has a meal in one of the bars in town where they serve hot dishes all day.

The sky is overcast. Claus goes back to the playing field, sits next to the river. He stays there until night falls and it begins to rain. When Claus arrives back at the main square the bookshop is already closed. Claus rings at the front door of the apartment. Peter leans out of the window.