The Nanny and the CEO (10 page)

Nick's stomach clenched. There was no way he could do that right now. He got up from the cot and walked over to the crib. At this point Reese joined him.

“He's
got
to be all right, Nick!” He heard tears in her voice.

Without conscious thought he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his side. After dancing with her last week, he needed her warm, curvaceous body next to his. Though she'd told him no more repeats, the fact that she didn't fight him right now revealed her deep need for comfort, too.

“What you said earlier,” she whispered. “If I—”

“Forget it,” he broke in. “I'm afraid I'm not myself tonight. We may be employer and nanny, but sometimes the lines get blurred. We've lived under the same roof for two weeks now. I find myself wanting to ask you questions I have no right to ask.”

“I know what you mean.” The tremor in her voice made its way through to his insides.

“So you admit you're a little curious about me.”

“Of course.” He noticed her hands cling to the edge of the crib. “I wouldn't be human otherwise.”

“Go ahead and ask me why I haven't told my parents about Jamie being sick.”

She bowed her head. “Not if you don't want to talk about it.”

“Actually I do. You recall our conversation about my family being blue bloods? Well, I made a vow that Jamie's life is going to be different. Yes, he's a Hirst and a Wainwright, but I won't let him grow up under a system where appearances count for everything. That kind of life might be desirable at first, but it ends up destroying you.”

“You feel like that's what happened to you?” she asked quietly.

“Our whole families have been destroying themselves for generations to the point that they don't have that human quality of giving and receiving affection. They don't feel it.”

She looked up at him with eyes that were suspiciously bright. “But you're nothing like that!”

The impulse to crush her in his arms was so strong, he forced himself to let go of her altogether. “I was on my way to being exactly like that until a client made a chance remark three weeks ago that opened my eyes.”

“What did he say?”

“He'd been offering his condolences and said there was nothing like a child to help you get over your loss. He obviously assumed I was the typical new father having to get up with him in the night for his feedings. But he didn't realize he was talking to a Wainwright who'd come from a cloistered, upper-class aristocracy.

“You can't imagine how I felt at that moment knowing Jamie was at my in-laws' being taken care of by their staff and I'd let it happen. Worse, my own parents saw nothing wrong with it. But the real crime was the one I'd committed by letting him go home with them in the
first place. By turning over my son's life to the hired help, I'd virtually abandoned him.”

“But if you hated what your parents had done to you, then—”

“I know.” He raked a hand through his hair. “It's complicated. At the time of Erica's death, everything was murky. But standing here now next to my son, I see things so clearly it terrifies me that I was once that other man.

“The truth is, I could have called my father back tonight and told my parents about Jamie, but they wouldn't have cared, and it wouldn't have occurred to them to come to the hospital. They've been emotionally absent from my life for thirty-four years. That's never going to change. My uncles, my cousins, they'll never change, either.”

“Oh, Nick…I'm so sorry. I had no idea.”

“How could you possibly know? You come from another world. A
real
world.”

“At least Erica's parents have been there to support you.”

“That's where you're wrong. They despise me.”

“Because you hired me?”

“No, Reese. My problems with them stem back to a year ago when Erica agreed to a divorce.”

“You divorced her?” She sounded shocked.

“Yes. We'd made one more stab at trying to patch up our two-year-old marriage, but it didn't work. It wasn't until after we separated that she told me she was pregnant. She moved back with her parents. I didn't see her again until I got a phone call that she was on her way to the hospital. You know the rest.”

“So that's why there was no nursery at the penthouse.”

“I let her have carte blanche decorating the apartment so she could entertain in style, but more often than not she stayed at White Plains. We lived apart much of the time, a situation that suited both of us. I know you can't comprehend that.”

She kept her eyes averted. “It's just so sad.”

“At the time it was simply the norm. When she died, I was devastated, but it was my guilt over our failed marriage that put me in a dark morass. I let them take the baby home. The problem is, Erica's parents believe that Jamie—and all the money that comes with him as my heir—belongs more to them than to me after I'd damaged the family pride. It was a case of ‘it's just not done.'”

He heard a little moan come out of Reese.

“You sound horrified. A normal person would be. But in my world, I'd broken the code of our social mores by divorcing her and was viewed as a revolutionary. Letting her parents keep our son for a time would look good on the surface. My parents would prefer it if things stayed that way. Anything to preserve the image.”

She shook her head. “How awful.”

“I debated telling you all this. It's so messy and complicated and I'll understand if you don't want to involve yourself with it all. If you want to leave my employ, I'll give you a check for the full amount we agreed upon. But I would ask you not to leave until Jamie's on the mend.”

 

Leave him and the baby?

If only Nick knew what Reese was really thinking.
Though the day would come when she would have to go, she would never be ready to give up him or the baby.

She sucked in her breath. “Don't be ridiculous. The arrangement we made was that I wouldn't go until the end of the summer. If you're still in agreement, then let's not talk about it again.”

Relief flooded her system when she heard him say, “Then we won't.”

“Good. Right now your son needs us focusing on him and nothing else.”

No sooner had she delivered her words than Jamie woke up crying. Nick hurried around to the other side of the crib to pick him up.

“Does he still feel as hot to you?”

His dark eyes flew to hers. “Yes.”

That one word filled Reese with fresh alarm. Jamie's temperature had been elevated for close to eighteen hours now. The IV was supposed to be doing its job.

They took turns holding him. The minutes passed. Another nurse came in to check on him. She left without saying anything to them. That really frightened her. This went on for another half hour. Then Dr. Wells walked in the room already masked and gloved.

He gave them a quick glance. “Sorry to hear your son's been sick, Mr. Wainwright. Let me take a look at him.”

While Nick handed the baby over, Reese stood back to watch the pediatrician, thankful he'd come. In a minute he lifted his head.

“I'm going to have you start feeding him some formula. The nurse will bring it to you. Just an ounce at a time. He might throw it up at first, but you persevere and we'll see if it finally stays down. I'll be back later.”

The next hour was nightmarish with Jamie spitting up ten minutes after every ounce. She didn't know how Nick was holding up. He'd taken over because of love for his child. That was the way it should be.

She folded the cots back up and put them away so there was room for the chairs. When she sat down next to him and the baby, the sun had come up. Though the blinds were closed, light illuminated the room.

Reese checked her watch. “Nick—do you realize he hasn't thrown up for twenty minutes?”

His head lifted. “That's definite progress.” He sounded elated.

“It
is!
” she cried.

The nurse came in a little while later. “How's he doing?”

“It's been a half hour since he last threw up.”

“Terrific.” She took the baby's temperature. “It's down four-tenths. I'll call Dr. Wells and tell him. Let him sleep now.” She hurried out of the room.

Nick stood up and lay the baby back down in the crib.

Reese followed him over. “The worst must be over.”

They both heard the door open and Dr. Wells came back in to examine the baby. “He's going to be fine. For the rest of the day give him formula when he seems ready for it. We'll keep the IV going. This evening I'll come by on rounds. If all is well, he'll be able to sleep in his own crib tonight.”

“That's wonderful!” Reese cried as he left the room. Luckily her mask muffled its full intensity.

Nick turned to her. His hands shot out to grasp her arms. “
You're
wonderful. I don't know what I would
have done without you.” Between his husky voice that sounded an octave deeper and those dark fringed eyes that were looking at her with such gratitude, she was overwhelmed by the feelings he engendered. But growing alongside her great happiness was a new fear clutching at her.

Last night he'd talked about the lines between nanny and employer getting blurred after living beneath the same roof. Try spending the whole night together in the same hospital room with the little baby they both adored.

This morning she couldn't find the lines anywhere.

“I
S THE
diaper bag packed?”

“All done.”

“Don't forget your new bathing suit.”

Reese blinked. “We're going swimming?”

“We might.”

“In your in-laws' pool?”

“Maybe. They have several.”

She'd been swimming in the pool on the terrace every afternoon while Jamie was napping. He'd had a slight cold since they'd brought him home from the hospital last Saturday night, but Dr. Wells said it was to be expected. A week later Jamie was well and beaming. Next week she'd be able to move him around on top of the water and see how he fared.

“Ready?” he called out.

“Just about.”

While he was moving around in the apartment, she hurried back to her bedroom and stashed the new suit inside her purse. After breakfast she'd gotten dressed for the drive to White Plains. She'd chosen to wear a rose-colored sundress with a white, short-sleeved bolero jacket. It was a step up from jeans, more presentable for a nanny who was about to face the Hirsts again. A white
ribbon for her ponytail to match her sandals, and she left the bedroom.

“Let's go!”

After putting the freeze pack with the milk into the diaper bag, Reese met him in the foyer. Nick had dressed in cargo pants and a tan crew neck shirt. Even though he'd shaved, there was that hint of dark shadow that gave him a slightly disreputable look, adding to his sensuality. The sight of him looking beyond handsome with his wavy black hair and the relaxed look on his face took her breath.

She quickly switched her gaze to his son strapped in his carryall. Nick had put him in his white outfit with the tiger on the front. The baby was three months and a week old now. He was bigger and looked so healthy you would never have guessed he'd been ill a week ago. Unable to resist, she kissed his cheek several times. His little mouth curved into a smile that reminded her of Nick. It turned her heart right over.

She tickled his tummy. “We're going on a trip in our favorite rocket ship.” She sang the song one of her friend's four-year-old loved. Jamie loved it, too.

He laughed out loud, provoking a grin from Nick. His gaze found hers. “You sound happy.”

“Who wouldn't be? When I think of last week…”

“Don't remind me.”

They left the apartment. Soon they'd climbed in the limo and were headed out of the city under a semicloudy sky, but nothing could dim her elation at being able to spend the whole day with Nick and Jamie.

Since that night in the hospital when he'd told her about his background and failed marriage, she wasn't
as nervous to meet Erica's parents. Forewarned helped her to be forearmed.

Nick's decision to break from tradition and bring on the condemnation of two families had been made because of his love and need of Jamie. It took an incredibly strong man of amazing character to do what he did. It couldn't have been easy and she didn't envy him having to deal with his in-laws today. For that reason Reese intended to be his support.

In some way things had been easier since the hospital. The bonding that had taken place with Jamie made everything they did seem more natural when the three of them were together. Nick had come home around four every afternoon. She understood his need to spend as much time as possible with his son.

Reese felt as if the penthouse had become a happy place for Nick. Nothing could mean more to her when she realized how much of his past had been marred by the weight of a painful childhood as well as a difficult marriage. Nick still hadn't told her all that had gone on between him and Erica to drive them apart, but then Reese was only the nanny. Every once in a while she had to remember that, but it was getting harder and harder.

On this trip she sat next to Jamie, who loved his pacifier and blue rattle. With Nick sitting straight across from the baby, he could talk to him and keep him entertained, but it was Jamie who entertained them. Every time he laughed, his pacifier fell out and Nick put it back in. Jamie thought it was a game and kept doing it. Maybe he was too little to realize what was going on, but it was hilarious and they laughed all the way to White Plains.

When they came in sight of the Hirst estate, Reese
understood even more the dividing line that separated people with lifestyles like Nick's and his former wife's from the rest of the world. They drove past a sign indicating public parking around the west side of the two-story mansion. Paul took the tree-lined driveway to the front entrance and helped Reese out with the diaper bag. Nick followed with Jamie and the three of them started up the steps. By the time they reached the front door, Walter Hirst had opened it. The older man couldn't hide his surprise at seeing Reese.

“We're in the dayroom.”

If it had been Reese's father who'd opened the door, the first thing he would have said was something like, “There's my grandson! Come here and say hello to your old granddad.” He would have reached for the baby and walked him through their house to show Grandma.

Reese had thought she was prepared for this, but even with the explanations Nick had given her, to see and feel the continued lack of personal warmth and affection coming from Erica's father disturbed her.

The interior of the mansion might be an architectural triumph of nineteenth-century elegance, but the only life Reese could see came from Jamie, whose head kept turning as they followed Mr. Hirst to a room with a surprising contemporary decor. His grandmother, wearing a stylish two-piece suit in lime-green, was just walking through the doors leading in from a beautiful flower garden Reese could see beyond her.

“We didn't expect you this early. I take it Jamie's better now.”

“He's fine,” Nick stated. “In fact you're perfect, aren't you, sport.” He kissed his cheeks while he undid the straps and lifted him out. “You'll notice he's grown.”

“Put him down in the carriage.”

With no playpen or swing, Nick had little choice unless he wanted to plop Jamie in his grandmother's arms. But she gave no indication that she wanted to hold him. Reese knew there were many people in the world who couldn't show affection, no matter their social class. Still, this was Jamie's family and it just didn't seem natural.

Now that she thought about it, a hint of Nick's rebellion had come out when he'd shown them the nursery and deposited Jamie in her arms. Today he held back and abided Anne's wishes.

The trouble with a carriage was that it blocked part of the view for the baby, who started crying as soon as Nick moved out of his line of vision. Reese's first instinct was to take him right out. Like Nick, she, too, had to hold back from grabbing him.

“I brought this.” Reese set the diaper bag down on one of the chairs. “It has enough bottles and diapers for today.”

“We have everything he'll need. Walter? Will you tell the nurse they're here.” Jamie was not happy and his cries were getting louder.

“I'll be back for him at six.” Nick flicked Reese a glance. “Let's leave them alone, Ms. Chamberlain.”

They walked out the mansion through the front door with Jamie's cries still following them. She assumed he meant they were going to explore the estate and go swimming later on. To her shock Nick headed for the limo and helped her inside.

She stared at him in puzzlement. “I thought our plan was to stay close by. What if Jamie needs you?”

“Then he'll cry his heart out until he falls asleep.”

“Nick…”

His grim expression was too much. The past week had been so carefree, Reese could hardly bear to see his brooding expression come back. “I didn't have a choice, Reese, because I made them a promise. But after today, all promises are off.”

He flicked on the intercom. “Paul? Drive us to the heliport.”

“Where are we going?” she asked when he'd finished.

“Out on my sailboat.”

Her heart thudded with sickening speed. “If we need a helicopter, it must be pretty far away.”

“Don't worry. We're only going to Martha's Vineyard outside Edgartown. One of our summer homes is there.”

A summer home there, an estate with horses on Long Island, a penthouse on Park Avenue, a villa in Cannes. Reese had an impression those possessions only constituted the tip of an enormous iceberg. If Jamie didn't have a daddy who'd decided to break the cycle of emotional neglect that went with so much luxury, he could be suffocated by it all the way Nick had been.

He studied her for a moment. “Have you ever been sailing?”

She knew it was his favorite sport. “No. One time our family went to Wisconsin and we crossed Lake Michigan on the ferry in choppy conditions. None of us did well. That's the sum total of my knowledge of being on water.”

A light gleamed in his eyes. “As long as you can swim, that's all I need to know. When we get out beyond
where the breeze fills the sail, you'll find out you're a wonderful sailor.”

“That's wishful thinking. I only hope I won't be imitating Jamie's bout of last weekend.”

He chuckled. “You don't have the flu.”

Reese knew Nick wanted and needed this outing, if only to take his mind off leaving Jamie with his grandparents.
Please don't let me get seasick.
When she saw the helicopter, another prayer went up about not getting airsick. She'd never been on one of those, either.

In the end she needn't have worried because Nick's cell phone rang before they even exited the limo. After he picked up, his gaze sought hers. She tried to read his expression as he listened to the person on the other end. It went on for a minute. After he hung up, he told Paul to turn the limo around and go back.

Her brows lifted. “Jamie?”

“He won't settle down. Anne says the nurse can't do anything with him, so if she can't, that's it.”

Reese bit her lip. “I was afraid of that. Jamie worships you.” She bet Nick's mother-in-law told him it was the nanny's fault for spoiling him and probably decried Nick ever removing Jamie from their house in the first place.

“Nothing could please me more,” he declared in a satisfied voice. “Now we can take him with us. I'll call ahead for a cooler of food and drinks to be packed for us.”

The burst of elation exploding inside Reese only lasted until she remembered her mother's last question to her.
“You've got a terrific head on those shoulders and broke off with Jeremy for a reason. I don't have to worry about you losing sight of your career plans just
yet, do I?”
Not for the first time, Reese had to remind herself that she was just the temporary nanny. But the pain she felt at the thought of leaving this little family was becoming too much.

When they reached the mansion, Reese could hear Jamie's heart-wrenching sobs from the foyer of the mansion. They hurried down the hall to the dayroom and found the nurse pacing the floor with him. His in-laws stood around looking upset.

“Hey, sport? What's going on?” Nick walked over to the distraught-looking woman and took the baby from her arms. Jamie caught sight of his daddy and lunged for him before bursting into another paroxysm of tears. Reese could almost hear him saying, ‘Why did you leave me?'

When he burrowed his head into the side of Nick's neck, Nick must have felt it deep in his heart. In a few seconds peace reigned. While Jamie clung to him, everyone in the room looked infinitely relieved.

“I think there's been enough excitement for one day. Why don't you come to the penthouse next weekend and we'll try this again.”

“We'll be in Salzburg. Don't you remember?” Anne sounded indignant. “You and Erica went with us two years ago.”

“I'm sorry. This new job of parenting has taken over my life. Call me when you're back and we'll make arrangements. Have a safe trip.”

Jamie refused to leave his arms, so Reese picked up the carryall and diaper bag before they headed for the limo waiting outside the mansion. Once Nick got in the backseat with him, Reese's eyes zeroed in on the baby.

“Your cute little face is all splotchy from crying. Here's your pacifier. Do you want your rattle, too?”

His fingers glommed right on to it. He didn't fight Nick as he strapped him in the infant car seat.

“Crisis averted,” he said to Paul before the older man shut the door. In seconds they were off.

Her eyes flew to Nick's. “That wasn't a pleasant moment back there.”

“No, and there's not going to be another one like it again.”

She covered Jamie's face with kisses until she got a smile out of him. “You're so worn-out, you'll probably sleep all the way.”

Reese didn't realize how prophetic her words would be. He slept through the fabulous helicopter flight that took them to the famous little island off Cape Cod. They were set down at Katama Airpark only a few miles from Edgartown.

Nick took them to one of the harbor restaurants where they ate a delicious shrimp lunch. Afterward they walked around the historic part of the town and visited some of the shops. It wasn't until they reached the boat dock on the Wainwright's property that the baby's eyes fluttered open. He'd missed everything.

Reese found it so funny, she started to laugh. Nick joined in. He was still smiling when he transferred his son from the ramp onto the end of the immaculate, twenty-three-foot sailboat called the
Aeolus.

“What does it mean?” she asked him.

“In Greek mythology, Aeolus was the god of the winds.”

“That's beautiful.” The white keel had a blue stripe. She thought of the little boat she'd bought for Nick and
couldn't wait for him to open his present, but she'd put it off until after they'd finished sailing.

Excitement mounted in Reese to see all the boats out on the water. This was a day out of time, one to treasure before they went back to the city. But having Jamie with them was the reminder she needed to remember she was his nanny, nothing else.