The Last Boyfriend (13 page)

Chapter 8

“Would you like something
to drink madam?” The flight attendant asked me, with a huge
smile.

“Some water, please.” I
smiled at her from the luxury of my first-class seat.

“And you sir?”

“I’ll have a rum and coke,
please.”

I looked at Zane aghast.
“You’re drinking?”

“Why shouldn’t I be?” He
grinned at me and sat back.

“Weren’t you the one just
telling me about alcohol this morning?”

“I told you it’s not smart
to drink around shady guys.”

“Here’s your water ma’am,
are you sure you don’t want anything else?”

“I’ll have a glass of
champagne, please?” I looked at her uncertainly. Did they even have
champagne on planes?

“Of course.”

“Alcohol?” Zane raised an
eyebrow at me.

“I can hold my own around
shady guys.” I smiled sweetly and turned to look out the window. I
heard him chuckle and grinned to myself. “So where am I going to
stay in LA and how much am I going to be making?”

“I’m surprised you haven’t
asked before now.” Zane shook his head. “You’re way too trusting,
Lucky.”

“Are you telling me I
shouldn’t trust you?”

“I’m telling you that you
shouldn’t trust anyone else too easily.”

“But trusting you is fine,
right?”

“I’m looking after your
best interests.”

“Why?” I questioned
him.

“I feel like we’ve
developed a friendship these last few months.”

“Really?” I laughed. “Was
this before or after I presented you with your entrees?”

“It was somewhere between
soup and salad.”

“Aw, now I know why you
always gave me big tips. You were making sure your friend made a
good wage.”

“Well you know. That’s what
friends are for.” He laughed. “But in all seriousness, you’ll be
staying with me, at my condo.”

“Oh okay.”

“I hope that’s okay. I’ll
be able to make sure you stay out of trouble.”

“I’m not a kid, Zane.” I
sighed. “I don’t need another dad.”

“You’re my responsibility
Lucky. It will make me feel better. Humor me. Okay?”

“I guess. But I’ll have you
know, I’m 22, not 12.”

“A 22 year old that makes
bad mistakes.”

I rolled my eyes and turned
away from him. Zane obviously had some sort of protector complex. I
doubted that I would be able to talk him out of it. “Does Noah live
there in the condo as well?”

“No.” He frowned and put
his earphones on.

Well okay then, I thought
to myself. I guess I still wasn’t going to find out about Noah. I
didn’t understand what the big deal was, but I knew I didn’t want
to push the issue. I hoped that Zane would tell me himself when he
was ready. I put my earphones on as well, and flicked through the
channels. I couldn’t quite believe that I was on a plane to Los
Angeles. The day had seemed to fly by. After my shower, Zane and I
had told my roommates that I was leaving and then we had dropped by
Lou’s Burger Joint. Shayla’s and Maria’s jaws had dropped when I
walked in with Zane. I still didn’t think that they believed me
when I had told them we were not going on some sex-fuelled
vacation. I laughed, thinking about Shayla’s expression when I told
her I was withdrawing from my classes and going to LA. She had
taken me to the side and told me that I could come back to Lou’s
whenever I wanted. I had given her a big hug and held back a sob.
Shayla was like my family. I was going to miss her and Mike a
lot.

I felt Zane tap me on the
shoulder and I turned to look at him with a questioning expression.
“How did your parents die?” He asked me softly.

“I, what?”

“You don’t have to talk
about it if you don’t want.” He smiled at me gently. “My mother
left my brother and me when we were young.” He scratched his ear.
“It’s still hard to talk about.”

“Your mother left you?” I
pulled my earphones out and turned to him.

“Well she left my father,
she wanted to spite him. My brother and I were just the dregs at
the bottom of the barrel.”

“Oh I’m sorry.” I reached
out to touch his hand. “That must have been tough.”

“It made Noah and me
closer.” He paused. “We were young. I was six and Noah was
four.”

“Oh wow.” I felt tears
welling up in my eyes at the thought of Zane being abandoned as a
child.

“I still remember her.” He
stared into my eyes. “She had blonde hair that was almost white.
You wouldn’t know if looked at me. But Noah, he had the same white
blond hair. It made my father hate him even more. Because he
reminded him of her. We both have her eyes.”

“She must have been
beautiful.”

“She was.” He avoided eye
contact with me. “Too beautiful for my dad really. She was young
when she married him. Got caught up in the lifestyle.”

“Did she marry him for
money?” I asked softly.

“No.” He laughed at my
surprised expression. “You would have thought so right? What woman
leaves her husband and two young children if she loved
them.”

“Why did she
leave?”

“I don’t really know.” He
paused and finished his drink. “My dad never said and she never
contacted us.”

“Do you know where she is
now?”

“No.” He shook his head.
“Noah and I used to say that while the sun shines and the moon
glows, we don’t need anyone else in our lives.”

“That’s sad.” I frowned.
“And I don’t think it’s too healthy either.” I started to realize
that his mother’s abandonment must have been the biggest reason for
his resistance to relationships. “Everyone isn’t like your
mom.”

“Maybe not.” He reached
over and ran his hands over my hair. “But love, lust, whatever it
is, it’s not enough. All it does is lead to heartbreak.”

“I don’t believe that.” I
frowned, my heart aching for him. “Not all love leads to
heartbreak.”

“Didn’t your parents’
deaths break your heart?”

“Well, of course. But it
wasn’t their fault.”

“But don’t you get it?” He
shook his hands. “It doesn’t have to be on purpose, it will still
break your heart. Love will tear you apart from limb to
limb.”

“So you’d rather not
love?”

“I weigh the odds. I’d
rather have fun and an enjoyable life, than to fall deeply in love
with someone and have my heart pulled out of my body.”

“You don’t know if your
heart will be pulled out of your body, as you so eloquently
stated.”

“I’m pretty sure love
equals pain.”

“My parents loved each
other and me with all their hearts until the day they died. And
every day I miss them with all my heart. I miss my mom making me
spaghetti and meatballs when she sensed I had a bad day. I miss my
dad taking me to the library every Saturday morning to choose five
library books. I miss his goofy grins when I would choose a Sweet
Valley Twins book. I miss going to Pizza Hut and ordering three
personal pan pizzas, because none of us could agree on what
toppings we wanted. I miss my dad grabbing my mom’s hand and
sneaking kisses when he thought I wasn’t looking. I miss them being
proud of me and loving me. And every single night, it hurts when I
think of them. It hurts when I go to bed and I know I’m going to
wake up the next morning and they still won’t be around. It hurts
every time I want to call them, or email them, or go home for the
holidays. But I wouldn’t give up one second of those memories to
eradicate the pain that I feel every day. It hurts and it burns,
but my love for them still lives on.” I blinked away tears as I
took a breath and I knew that he could see the pain in my
eyes.

“You’re a strong woman.” He
took my hand in his. “I’m so sorry about your parents.”

“And they died in a car
crash, by the way.” I sighed. “They were driving to Miami to see
me. They wanted to surprise me for my birthday. I was surprised all
right.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”
Zane looked at me in concern.

“It was a semi-truck.” I
wrinkled my nose. “The driver was texting and cut across the
interstate. The police told me they died instantly. That gives me
some peace of mind that they weren’t in pain.”

“How long ago was
this?”

“About a year and two
months ago.” I bit my lip. I had been devastated, unable to
function. And when Justin had dumped me, I had felt like my world
was caving in on me. I had thought that I would never escape the
pain that consumed me and kept me in my bed for days. And I had
vowed that I would never again give myself to a man who didn’t
truly love me and want me. My heart, body, and soul was too
precious to give away lightly. But at least I was still open for
love, I thought to myself. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like
to be so crushed that love would never be an option in my life. I
couldn’t imagine what amount of pain would make someone never want
to feel love ever again. Or maybe the problem was that he had never
really experienced love. Maybe he didn’t know what he was
missing.

“That was pretty recent.”
He paused. “I guess we’ve both been through the ringer and
back.”

“I guess so.”

“You’re a special girl,
Lucky. I know I’ve told you that before but I want you to
understand how much I mean it. I’ve never really met anyone like
you before.”

“You don’t really know me.”
I laughed, slightly delirious and uncomfortable at his
words.

“I’ve watched you for
months in the restaurant.” He smiled. “You are always happy, always
friendly. I’ve heard you talking with your co-workers, giving them
advice, taking shifts. You’ve always been pleasant when you’ve seen
me, even though I take a different girl in there every
week.”

“I understand why
now.”

“No, no you don’t.” He
frowned. “But that’s okay. You don’t need to know.”

“Okay.” I pulled my hand
away from him. I was hurt by his words. It seemed to be a one-way
street with him. I was always open with my feelings and thoughts,
but he always seemed to have something to hold back. I wanted him
to tell me about Noah, I wanted him to open up about the things he
tried so hard to keep inside. But I didn’t want to force him. I
wanted him to want to tell me those things. My heart hurt slightly
as I sat there. I was falling for Zane Beaumont and I knew there
was no way we could ever have a happy ending.

“Lucky, I may not be Mr.
Wonderful and I can’t give you everything you deserve in a
boyfriend, but I can be your friend. I want to be your friend.” He
took a deep breath and his eyes looked so serious that I felt my
body tremble at the intensity of his words. “I think we have a
special connection, you and I. And yes, I’m attracted like hell to
you, and yes, I want to make sweet love to you, but it’s more than
that. I want to be here for you. I can’t give you my heart and I
don’t want yours, but I want to be there for you. In as many ways
as you will let me.”

As he stopped talking, I
felt my heartbeat racing faster and faster, as if it were trying
out for a position in a Formula One racing team. I wasn’t sure how
to respond to him. One part of me wanted to reach over and kiss him
and tell him that I never wanted to let him go, but another part of
me was cognizant of the fact that he had clearly told me that I
would never have his heart and that he didn’t want me to fall in
love with him either. There was no future in a relationship between
the two of us. After everything I had been through, I didn’t know
if I could survive being in a relationship with Zane that would
never go anywhere. But he’s never known love, a little birdie
whispered in my ear. Maybe if you show him what it means to be in
love, maybe then he’ll change his mind.

“Did I scare you, Lucky?”
Zane looked at me with worry in his eyes, and I shook my
head.

“No. I’m just
thinking.”

“Not about being my sub
again? Do I have to buy a paddle to get an answer out of you?” He
joked at me with twinkling eyes and I burst out
laughing.

“You better not buy a
paddle. I don’t think my behind could take it.”

“Just my hand then?” He
winked and I lightly slapped his arm.

“I’m not really sure what
you are asking of me.” I spoke lightly, unsure of
myself.

“I don’t really know
either.” He sighed. “I guess I just want to see what
happens?”

“Won’t it be weird? Me
working for you, living with you, and kind of seeing
you?”

“Only if we let it be
weird.”

“I guess.” I bit my lip. I
wanted to ask him about the other girls, but I was scared. It
wasn’t like he was asking to be my boyfriend. But I had to know.
“Will we be dating other people?”

“I can’t answer that for
you.” He rubbed his face. “However, if you are sleeping in my bed.
I will not stand for you to be fucking another man.”

“Zane.” I looked around the
airplane, mortified that someone may have heard his crude
language.