The Highlander's Forbidden Bride (14 page)

Before Dykar could protest, Carissa said, “Accepted, though my men will follow to the border of your land before they depart.”

Cavan nodded and walked away in angry strides.

Ronan looked to Carissa. “I ask that you ride with me. We need to talk.”

While she knew they did need to talk, she was not up to it. There was so much to be said between them, so very much. She didn’t even know where to start. She felt terrible about leaving him without a word, and she was angry with him for confiding in his brother that she could be with child.

She put her hand to her head. “Not now, Ronan.”

“Yes, now,” he insisted.

She looked at him, wanting to tell him she just wasn’t up to it right now. But he seemed to move away from her, far away and she wondered where he was going.

She heard him call out her name and she reached out to him to try and grab hold of him before he slipped completely away. And just as she thought she grabbed hold of his hand…the darkness swallowed her.

R
onan held Carissa close in his arms, an extra cloak wrapped around her, and guided his mare slowly along the snow-covered path. After he had caught her as she crumpled in a faint, he wouldn’t let her out of his arms. She had reached out to him, called out to him, and he was damned if he was going to let anyone take her from him.

She could be obstinate and sharp-tongued, but when she had called out to him, he heard only Hope calling to him for help. After that, he had made it known that Carissa would be riding back in the safety of his arms. No one protested, but then he had been insistent.

Carissa stirred in his arms, and her eyes opened slowly.

“You’re safe,” he said. “I’m taking you home.”

Her brow wrinkled, and he could tell that she was attempting to make sense of what he meant.

“You’re going home with me, Carissa,” he assured her again.

She didn’t open her eyes when she said, “I have no home.”

“You do now,” he said adamantly, and drew her more tightly up against him.

He didn’t know why he had to reassure her. A few days ago he was angry with her for leaving without a word, and now he was offering her a home. Many would think him crazy.

He laughed. He even thought himself mad at times. How could he not after discovering that the woman he loved was actually his enemy? And how did he accept his enemy as his love?

He shook his head. He was crazy.

“Are you all right?” Cavan asked, riding up alongside him.

“I don’t know,” he answered, still shaking his head.

“Women can do that to you.”

“That’s not reassuring,” Ronan said.

The brothers laughed.

“Tell me how this came about,” Cavan said with a nod to Carissa sleeping soundly in his arms. “I don’t understand. It makes no sense. You wanted revenge against her for killing the woman you loved and now…“He shook his head. “The same woman may carry your babe.”

“I don’t know how to explain it,” he admitted. “I’m confused myself and yet”—he stared down at her—“I believe she is the woman I love.”

“What of the other one?”

He looked from Carissa to his brother. “They
are
one.”

Ronan could see that he confused his brother even more, and so he attempted to explain. He
started at the beginning and told him what had happened after they were separated. How badly he was beaten and unable to see. How he had fallen in love with the slave who had seen to his care. How before his sight healed, he was sold to the mercenaries.

“You remained at the barbarian stronghold after we were captured?” Cavan shook his head. “They told me you weren’t there. At times they tried to make me believe you were dead.”

“I almost felt that I was. I couldn’t see, couldn’t care for myself, and didn’t even know if someone was there with me. I only knew that the slave, I named her Hope, was my salvation. If it hadn’t been for her, I would never have survived.”

“And now you believe that all along Hope was actually Carissa?” Cavan asked.

“I know how it must sound.”

“It sounds what it is,” Cavan said. “A sadistic woman who will stoop at anything to have what she wants.”

“Or perhaps a woman who found a way to survive a sadistic father.”

“I find that difficult to swallow,” Cavan said.

“I thought the same at first. But then I got to know Carissa while stuck in that cottage. There were times I glimpsed a different side of her, a good side I never imagined possible. And I began to wonder if perhaps Carissa wasn’t who she appeared to be.”

“And what did coupling with her prove?”

Ronan winced.

“You brought this on yourself,” Cavan said.
“When I left you, I felt assured that you would put to rest the last of the barbarians who owed
us
a debt.
You and me
. As I mentioned earlier, Carissa was cruel, and I for one didn’t intend on forgiving her. She is the last obstacle if we are ever to lay this all to rest and finally be free. I believed you felt the same.”

“I thought I had. But then I also wondered if I could ever come home again.”

“I understand. I thought the same myself,” Cavan said.

“You did?”

“I had been treated and lived like an animal for near a year, and I doubted I could ever be the man I was. I was bitter and angry and disappointed that I had failed you.”

“Me?” Ronan asked stunned. “But it was I who failed you.”

“You did nothing.”

“I cried out like a coward for you to save me,” Ronan said, and felt the pain of his spinelessness down to his soul.

“I didn’t hear you cry out,” Cavan said. “I saw that you were in trouble and rushed to help you. If I had been more attentive to the situation, I would have approached it differently and saved us both. But my only thought was to save my little brother.”

Ronan laughed bitterly. “And my only thought was to reach out to my big brother.”

“We both should have kept our wits about us,” Cavan said.

“It was a difficult battle.”

“It was a horrifying one,” Cavan admitted. “I still dream about it.”

“I do too,” Ronan admitted.

“She is the key to ending this,” Cavan said, looking to Carissa.

“What if it turns out that I truly love her?”

“She is our enemy,” Cavan advised. “Make certain how you truly feel before you invite the enemy to join our family.”

Carissa woke in bed with a start. An arm was draped over her waist as she lay on her side, and she smiled, causing a pain to shoot along her cheek, though she noticed her head didn’t throb any longer.

She rested her hand over his, placing her small fingers between his large ones. They were mismatched in more ways than one, and yet she thought them a perfect fit.

She snuggled her back closer to him, and his fingers instinctively locked with hers. She felt safe, then it came to her.

They weren’t in the cottage, and if they weren’t there, where was she? And how did she get here? The last thing she did recall was…

Dykar and her men.

She reluctantly eased out of bed and, finding her clothes, dressed and slipped out the door. She entered a narrow hallway and had no idea which way to go. Since it was quiet, she knew it had to be night; whether near dawn or not, she didn’t know.
She only hoped she had sufficient time to scout the area and see where she was and if her men were nearby.

She finally made her way to the great hall and to the large front doors. With her cloak wrapped around her, she opened the doors and walked out into the night. Dawn had yet to appear on the horizon, and she was relieved, knowing that the darkness of night would afford her time to prowl.

She didn’t have to go far when she heard, “Rissa.”

She turn with a smile and hurried over to Dykar peeking from around the side of the keep.

“I knew if I waited long enough, you’d wake and come in search of me.”

“You are all right?” she asked anxiously, reaching out to gently touch the bruising around his eye.

“Do not worry about me,” he insisted. “It is you I’m concerned for.”

“I am fine,” she assured him, though eager to clear her foggy memory. “Was I taken from you and the men?”

“No, Cavan told you that I could accompany you here, but not the men—”

“Now I remember,” she said interrupting him. “I was going to ride with you when I—” She shook her head. “Damn, I fainted.”

“You reached out to Ronan, and he wouldn’t let anyone touch you after that. You rode with him on his horse, wrapped in his arms.”

“I did?” she asked with a sigh.

Dykar shook his head. “Why did you have to fall in love with a man who swore to see you dead?”

“I don’t know, Dykar. What I do know is that I can’t stop myself from loving him. It’s like it was meant to be, and no matter what I do, or he does, I continue to love him.”

“Even if he hates you?” he asked incredulously.

“He doesn’t hate me. I know he doesn’t.”

“Do you know how foolish you sound?” he asked.

“For once,” Carissa pleaded, “let me be foolish.”

“It could cost you dearly,” he warned.

“What hasn’t cost me dearly? Nothing has ever come easy for me except this love for this man. I don’t know where it will take me. I don’t know if I will suffer more for loving him, but I want to find out.”

“I’ll be here for you either way, though if he breaks your heart, you know I’ll want to kill him,” Dykar said, though he did so with a smile.

Carissa laughed softly. “You’re the only one I could ever count on in my life.”

“I wouldn’t have a life if it weren’t for you.”

“But you do now, and soon, when this is all finished, there’ll be no more worry about hiding me,” she said.

“And what if the laird decides that it is your life you must forfeit to satisfy him?”

“Then you will have to rescue me, and I will have no choice but to leave Scotland, leave you, leave everything I’ve ever known.” Carissa shook
her head when Dykar went to protest. “Let it be for now. There’s no sense in worrying until we need to.”

“I will stay right here with you until a decision is made, but in the meantime, I will make plans for a hasty escape.”

She nodded. “Where are the men?”

“Far enough away not to be detected, but close enough if we should need them.”

“You’ve done well, Dykar.”

“No, you are the one who has saved all these men and given them hope. And when the news spreads to the rest of the troop, they will feel the same and pledge their allegiance to you.”

“That’s not necessary,” she insisted.

“It is to them.”

Carissa didn’t argue. She much preferred to use the time so Dykar could familiarize her with the lay of the land so that when she sneaked out at night, she knew places to meet him. Even though Dykar told her that the laird had made a cottage available for his use, she didn’t want them to think she was meeting with him. Some things were better kept private.

After she was done, she hurried inside and, with quiet steps, headed for the stairs.

“What takes you outside in the dead of night, Carissa?”

She stopped and turned with a defiant tilt of her chin to face the laird of the clan Sinclare.

“M
y men,” Carissa answered, walking over to him with a confident stride, though her innards trembled with concern.

“Join me,” Cavan said, pointing to the bench opposite from him at the table.

It wasn’t a request, and while she would have preferred to retire upstairs and snuggle next to the laird’s brother and talk with Cavan another day, she knew that, out of respect, she could not deny him.

“You’ve satisfied your concern?” he asked once she sat.

“I spoke with Dykar, and he assures me that all is well.” She didn’t intend to lie. There was no point to it. If he had guards lurking in the shadows, they would tell him what they had seen, and he would trust her even less than he did, which at the moment was almost not at all. “What has you up so late?”

“You.”

“Why is that?”

“You’ve presented me with a very difficult situation,” he admitted.

“You and Ronan have talked,” she said.

Cavan nodded. “Unlike my brother, who wishes to give you a chance, I believe you are who you are, and that cannot be changed.”

“You believe you know me.”

“I saw who you are with my very own eyes,” he said.

The hatred flared like flames in his eyes, and he fought to control the anger in his voice. Would anything she could say make a difference?

“It would seem that you have already condemned me, and nothing I could say would change your decision.”

“At the moment, your life is in my brother’s hands, and I wait for him to come to his senses.”

“I understand,” she said. There was no way this man would ever accept her, and she had been a fool to think any Sinclare would, not that she could blame them, but she had hoped.

“You are not only a skilled warrior for a woman, but an impressive leader, and believe me when I tell you that I don’t and never will underestimate your abilities or your talents.”

“You’re warning me that you don’t trust me and intend to keep a close watch on me.”

“At all times.”

“Even when your brother sleeps beside me,” she asked bluntly.

“That arrangement will change starting now,”
he informed her. “There is a small cottage beside the keep. It will be your home while you are here and a guard will be close by.”

“This is not my home,” she said with a cutting curtness. She had been a stupid fool to think that anything would ever come of loving Ronan.

“And it would be wise for you to remember that.”

Carissa stood. “Be careful, Cavan. Hate is a powerful weapon that can easily destroy.”

“I’m sure you know that better than anyone.”

“More than you’ll ever know,” she said, and turned toward the stairs, wishing she could return to Ronan and yet knowing…

“The cottage waits for you,” Cavan said. “I will have one of my warriors escort you there.”

She simply nodded, knowing it would be senseless to argue with him. He was the laird and would have his way, though she wondered over Ronan’s reaction when he discovered what his brother had done.

“You what?”

Ronan’s shout had everyone in the great hall stopping and glancing at the closed solar door.

“The choice of who I sleep with is
mine,
” Ronan said with a slap to his chest.

“When your choice of sleeping partners affects this clan, then it becomes my choice,” Cavan said, his hands splayed flat on his desk as he leaned across it to glare at his brother. “If I allow this to
continue between you and Carissa, then she will be with child for certain in no time. And then she will never answer for her crimes.”

Ronan wanted to lash out at his brother, but he was right. He didn’t want to keep his hands off Carissa. He ached to make love to her again.

“Did you ever stop to think that this was her plan all along, that if she became pregnant with your child, she would be immune to punishment?”

“I’m not an idiot,” Ronan said. “I want time with her so that I may finally find the truth.”

“Coupling with her isn’t going to help you find it.”

“No, but it sure in hell feels good.”

Both brothers suddenly grinned and laughed.

“I don’t do this to hurt you,” Cavan said.

“I know that,” Ronan said, rubbing his chin in frustration. “And if part of me wasn’t blind to Carissa, I would have realized the same thing.”

“It cannot be denied that she is a beauty, but beauty bewitches, so be very careful,” Cavan warned.

Ronan nodded.

Cavan walked around his desk and looked his brother up and down. “Finally, you’re dressed like a Highlander. Welcome home.”

The guard had knocked on Carissa’s door early and instructed her that he was there to escort her to the keep for the morning meal. She was tired and not at all hungry, but she knew she couldn’t refuse. After all, she was a prisoner of the Sinclares.

She donned her cloak and wondered if Ronan had brought along the meager belongings she had left behind in the cottage at the village Black in her haste to help Dykar. She needed a good washing and change of garments. And she prayed that he had thought to bring them with him.

The day was gray and the air biting cold as she walked the few feet to the keep. A sharp, icy wind whipped her through the open door, and when she turned and got her bearings, the sight near stole her breathe.

Ronan stood dressed in the Sinclare plaid, dark green and black. A white linen shirt lay beneath the strip of plaid that crossed his impressive chest, and black winter boots trimmed with fur and secured with leather strips crisscrossed his thick calves and shins. His long dark brown hair shone as if it had been washed. And she knew then that Ronan had finally returned home.

He was a Highlander.

She suddenly felt more a barbarian than ever. And though she wished she could have improved her own appearance, she walked with the dignity her father had forever demanded of her.

She was disappointed when it was Zia who rushed to greet her. She had expected Ronan to be the first to welcome her, and when he failed to do so, she knew that her situation had changed. And she had no doubt Cavan had been the cause.

“How are you feeling?” Zia asked.

“I am fine,” she said.

“Good. I worried that perhaps your head might
continue to pain you,” Zia said, walking her to the table.

“No pain,” Carissa said.

Ronan said nothing while Zia proceeded to introduce Carissa to those she was not familiar with.

A lovely woman with dark hair and a generous smile was first.

“This is Honora, Cavan’s wife,” Zia said.

“Welcome,” Honora said with a nod.

Carissa noticed that Honora’s arm rested on the table and her husband’s on top of it. She wondered if he had prevented her from standing and greeting her.

“And this is Addie,” Zia said.

Carissa heard the caution in her voice and needed only to see the older woman’s eyes, so familiar to her, to know who she was. “You’re the mother.”

Addie looked at her oddly. “Yes, and a proud one.”

Carissa wasn’t sure what she saw in the woman’s eye—contempt, uncertainty, hatred, and she had no time to digest it. A large dog suddenly charged into the room, and when he caught sight of Carissa, he hurried over to her and began licking her hand. She froze and made no move to respond to his friendly gesture.

“He won’t hurt you,” Addie assured her. “As you can see, he licks rather than bites.”

Carissa said nothing, and Addie ordered the
dog to her side. He obeyed instantly, plopping his butt beside her.

Ronan finally walked over to her and held out his hand. “Join us.”

She looked around at the Sinclares. Zia sat leaning into the crook of Artair’s arm. Lachlan had his arm wrapped around his wife Alyce’s waist, and even Addie had a loving dog beside her. She would never be accepted into this devoted family, and she’d be a fool to join them and pretend otherwise.

“I’m not hungry,” she snapped. “I’d like to know if you have my clothes.”

“Your clothes?” Ronan asked.

“I left them at the cottage,” she said.

Ronan shook his head. “I didn’t realize—”

“Obviously, there is little you realize,” she snapped, and turned to leave.

Cavan’s commanding voice stopped her. “I’d prefer that you join us.”

She’d had enough and was about to turn and snap at him when Hagen entered the hall. “Hagen,” she cried, and hurried over to him, throwing her arms around the large man, not that they fit.

As soon as he wrapped his arms around her, she whispered in his ear, “I need to get out of here now.”

Before the large man could do a thing, Cavan spoke.

“It is good you’re here, Hagen. You can join Carissa at the table with us.”

Carissa saw the torn look in Hagen’s eyes, and she turned and saw that Addie had stood to make room for him and that she wore a radiant smile.

“She loves you,” Carissa whispered.

“I hope so,” Hagen murmured, “for I love her like no other.” He sighed. “What should I do?”

“Go to her,” Carissa said.

“But—”

Carissa didn’t let him finish. “I can defend myself.”

He was about to protest, when Carissa gave him a slight shove, then turned and walked to the door.

“Carissa,” Cavan called out.

She didn’t look back. She simply shouted. “I am not hungry.”

The room remained silent after the door shut behind her. Then Ronan turned to his brother Cavan, glared at him, turned around, and stormed out the same door.

Honora pulled her arm away from her husband. “That was no way to treat a guest.”

“She’s a prisoner,” Cavan argued.

“I don’t see her confined to the dungeons,” she said.

“She’s not that kind of prisoner, and this is not the place to discuss it,” Cavan said, the others at the table wisely remaining silent.

“How do you ever expect to find out anything about her if you don’t give her a chance?” Honora demanded, and before her husband could answer, she turned to Hagen. “What say you of Carissa?”

“Honora,” Cavan warned in a clipped tone, which she proceeded to ignore.

“Tell us, Hagen, what say you of Carissa,” Honora repeated.

Addie took his hand. “Yes, tell us, for strangely she seems familiar to me.”

Hagen shook his head. “I mean no disrespect to Cavan, but I owe allegiance to Carissa and am not at liberty to speak about her.”

“But it may help,” Honora said.

“Then I suggest you watch her, for it is in her actions you will find who Carissa truly is,” Hagen advised.

“Why does she fear dogs?” Addie asked.

“She doesn’t,” Hagen said, giving Champion a pat. “She loves them.”

Zia looked to Cavan. “If we do as Hagen suggests and watch her actions, then we would have to assume that if she asked Ronan about the clothes she had left behind, it would mean that she had every intention—”

Honora finished with a glare at her husband. “—of returning.”