The Happiest Day (30 page)

Standing in the
front hallway, Rachel turned into Peter’s arms.  They were alone but before
very long, the entire family would be back together for the first time in
years.

It was quiet with everyone
away.  After the stress of the past four years, Rachel found that she enjoyed
being alone with Peter and having no other responsibilities besides work. 
Peter had turned fifty this year but to her eyes he was more handsome than he
had ever been.  She felt herself falling in love with him all over again.

“It’s like being
on a honeymoon,” she said over breakfast one morning.  “We can pretend that
we’re a newly married couple with our whole lives in front of us.”

“Well then,” he
retorted, “I think we are not having nearly enough lovemaking time.”

“I don’t remember
any complaints last night,” she shot back with a smile.

“Touché,” he said
with a chuckle.  “God, I love you, woman.”

She felt a warm
glow wash over her and she sighed happily.  “Let’s both call in sick and go
horseback riding.”

His eyebrows shot
up.  “I am shocked.  I have never known you to want to skip work.  I must have
been really, really good last night.”

“You were.  Now,
are you with me?  Are we going to play hooky?”

He pretended to be
torn but Rachel knew she wouldn’t have to convince him.  They called their
respective offices then dressed in riding clothes, packing a lunch, and
informing Smythe that they would be gone all day.  They rode for hours,
laughing and talking, and enjoying the fall weather.  When the sun was high in
the sky, they lounged under a tree and ate their lunch, Peter lying with his
head in her lap.  His eyes were closed.

“I’m glad we did
this,” Rachel said, stroking his hair, which was now more gray than black.

“I never dreamed I
would ever be this happy,” he told her, growing unusually emotional.  “You
saved me, Rachel Warner.”

“Saved you from
what?”

“From settling for
a mediocre life.”  He opened his eyes.  “You know, I was happy once, when I was
a child and still living with my grandparents.  The day that Norris and Helen
came and tore me away from them, I decided that I would never be happy again. 
If I was happy, then I could be devastated again.”

“That’s why you
married Blanche.”

“Yes.”  His mouth
curved up in a smile.  “She was awful, wasn’t she?”

“The worst wife
ever,” Rachel agreed.  “You always deserved better than her.”

“It took you to
prove that to me.  In case I’ve never said it before, thank you.  Thank you for
convincing me to live the life I should be living.”

She leaned down
and kissed him repeatedly while saying, “You..are..welcome.”

“You know, I don’t
know if I have ever told you this, but I admire you so much.  Those first days
after you came to live with us, you were so vulnerable and scared, and I
thought that there was no way you could survive in our harsh world.  Not only
did you survive, you fought back.  Every year, every knock down, I saw you get
stronger and stronger.  You told the world to fuck off and became the strongest
woman I have ever known.”

She felt
emotional, her throat tightening.  “That’s one of the nicest things anyone has
ever said to me.”

“It’s the truth. 
Despite all of the hard times, I’m so grateful for all the experiences we’ve
had together.  I wish we could have had another baby.  It would have been nice
to be there with you from the beginning.”

“Well, I’m
forty-two.  I’m not saying that it’s impossible, but I would assume that if it
had been possible, we would have already welcomed a baby.”  She had seen the
doctor a few times and he couldn’t explain their lack of conception.  “I think
the seven children we have take up most of our attention, anyway.  Before you
know, we’ll be playing with our grandkids.”

“That will be the
happiest day ever,” he said, stroking his finger down the line of her cheek.

“Remember when we
were in France, getting ready to meet Martine, and you said that when it was
all over, and we were back home, we needed to find our happiest day again?”

He nodded.  “Then
we married, and that became our happiest day.”

“You’re wrong,”
she corrected him.  “Every day has been our happiest day.  Every day that I got
to be your wife was better than the day before.  So, when we hold our
grandchildren in our arms, it will just be a continuation.  We have a whole
lifetime of happiest days waiting for us.”

His eyes grew
serious.  “Promise me something, Spider.”

“Anything.”

“Promise me if
anything were to happen to me, that you’ll keep on searching for those happy days. 
Don’t let it be the end.”

It was as if a
dark cloud moved over the sun.  Rachel swallowed hard.  “How morbid.  Why would
you say something like that?”

“I didn’t mean to
upset you.  I just want to know that you’ll always be happy, no matter what.”

“I’ll be happy no
matter what as long as you’re with me.  Do you plan on going anywhere?”

The serious look
left his face and he grinned, looking like a teenager again.  “Only if you’re
going with me.”

“Well then, we’re
on the same page.”  She gave his cheek a mock slap.  “Let’s go, lazybones.”

The rode the rest
of the afternoon until the sun started to dim.  “We’d better head home,” he
told her, turning his horse.

“It’s getting a
bit chilly,” she agreed.  “I hope there is an amazing supper waiting for us.”

He turned and
looked over his shoulder at her.  “Race you!” he said, as he had been saying
for over thirty years.

“No fair!” she
called when he took off without waiting for her and she laughed gleefully. 
Fifty or not, that man was still a cheat.

Home was in sight
when it happened.  She saw Apache stumble and heard a loud crack, and then
Peter go flying over the horse’s head, landing with a sickening thump.  She
reared back, halting her own horse, dismounted, and raced to where Peter lay
motionless on the ground.

“Oh my God, oh my
God,” she chanted, falling to her knees.  “Peter, can you hear me?  Peter?”

He groaned and
rolled his head side to side.  She laid her fingers on his neck and felt a
strong steady pulse.  Laying her ear next to his mouth, she could hear him
breathing.

“Peter,” she said
again sharply.  “Open your eyes.  Can you hear me?  Open your eyes.”

He struggled to
open them and winced.  “Damn it,” he hissed.  “What happened?”

“Apache fell and
you went over his head.”

His eyes opened
further.  “Is he all right?”

She turned and
looked over her shoulder, feeling guilty that she had run right past the
injured horse.  Apache lay on his side, barely moving.  She looked back at
Peter.  “I don’t know, Peter.  It doesn’t look good.”  When Peter tried to sit
up, she pushed against his shoulder.  “Don’t move!  I’ll go get help from the
stables.  Promise me you won’t move.”

He nodded and
closed his eyes again.  “Hurry.”

She ran to the
stables and called for help.  Gaffney, the stable master, appeared immediately
and, after hearing Rachel’s quickly relayed story, grabbed his rifle.  “Come
on, then,” he said gruffly.  He called over his shoulder to one of the stable
hands, “Call Dr. Miller for Mr. MacGregor.”

They ran the short
two hundred yards to where Peter and the horse lay.  Gaffney knelt next to
Peter first.  “Anything broken, Mac?”

“I’m fine.  Take
care of Apache.”

Gaffney moved over
to the horse and did a quick assessment of the thoroughbred.  He was slow to
come back, his shoulders hunched.  “Sorry, not much to do besides put him out
of his misery.”

A tremor ran
through Peter.  “Do it,” he ordered.  “Be quick about it.”

Rachel bent to
hold her husband in her arms while his horse was euthanized.  She felt his body
jerk when the shot was fired and she murmured against his cheek, “I’m sorry,
darling.”

Gaffney came back
then, laying the gun on the ground.  “Let’s get you to the house.  Do you think
you can walk?”

“I know I can
walk,” Peter retorted.

They helped him
stand and he weaved a little, holding his head.  “Christ Almighty,” he
muttered.  “I’m going to have one hell of a headache.”

“If that’s the
worst that happens, then we’ll accept it,” Rachel said firmly, supporting him
with an arm around his waist.

“Easy for you to
say.”

They got him to
the house and laid him on the sofa in the living room.  “I’ll stay with you,
ma’am, until the doctor gets here.  I know a little first aid if need be.”

“Thank you,
Gaffney.”  She felt shaky and weak now that they had him home.  “Jesus, Peter,
you scared the hell out of me!”  She sank down on the floor next to where he
laid.

“Scared the hell
out of myself.  I saw my whole life flash in front of my eyes while I was
flying through the air.”  He opened his eyes again and winked at her.  “Damned
if you weren’t in every scene.”

“Stop trying to be
a flirt.  Now is really not the time.”

“Gaffney, just a
few hours ago, this woman was telling me how I made every one of her days
happy.  Now listen to her.  Typical fickle woman.”

Gaffney laughed
appreciatively.  “I think he’s going to be just fine, ma’am.”

Dr. Miller
concurred after he arrived.  “You’re going to have one hell of a goose egg for
a while,” he said, palpating the side of Peter’s head, above the ear.  “No
blood, though.”

Peter winced. 
“Are you trying to draw blood, Doc?  That hurts.”

“I’m sure it
does.  Do you hurt anywhere else?”

“No, but I’m sure
tomorrow will be a different story.”

Dr. Miller nodded
ruefully.  “I’m afraid so.  You’re not a kid anymore, Peter.  Stop racing
horses in the dark.”

“I’m like a kid in
love,” he clarified.  “It makes me do goofy things.”

Rachel rolled her
eyes.  “Is he really O.K., Doctor?”

“Seems to be.  I
would like you to bring him into the hospital tomorrow, though.  I’d like to
take some x-rays, make sure we’re not dealing with any small fractures.”

“I’m fine,” Peter
argued.

“We’ll be there
bright and early,” Rachel said firmly.

“Until then, take
it easy and get plenty of rest.  I’ll see you in the morning.”  Rachel walked
him to the door and he turned before leaving.  “Keep a close eye on him.  He
might get dizzy and I don’t want him walking around alone.”

“I won’t let him
out of my sight,” Rachel promised.

She employed
Symythe’s help in getting Peter upstairs, cleaned up, and into bed.  “You’re
treating me like an infant,” he complained.

“How about some
supper?  We’ll eat up here.”

“I’m not really
hungry,” he answered, leaning against the pillow tiredly.  “My head hurts.”

She instructed
Smythe to bring up some soup, tea, and aspirin.  Peter dozed off, though,
before it arrived.  Remembering the doctor’s words, she didn’t leave the room. 
She read in a chair next to the bed until late, and then quietly changed into
her nightgown.  Climbing into bed, she snuggled close to Peter.

“I’m sorry if I
scared you,” he said in a hushed voice.

“Oh, did I wake
you?” She rose up on an elbow.

“No.  I was
waiting for you to come to bed.”

“Well, you did
scare me but I know that you certainly didn’t mean to.  I’m sorry about Apache,
Peter.”

He was silent for
a moment.  “He was a good horse.  Doc Miller was right, I shouldn’t have been
racing with the light going so quickly.  The kids will be upset when the come
home.”

“I think they’ll
be thankful that you weren’t injured badly.”  She kissed him.  “You want some
aspirin?”

“No, I’m all
right.”

“Get some sleep.”

“You’ll stay with
me?”

“Forever,” she
answered.  “I’ll be right here.”

She slept lightly,
wanting to make sure that he didn’t need her help in the middle of the night. 
Around four in the morning, he groaned and she laid her hand on his chest. 

“What is it?”

“My head is
killing me,” he said, his voice pained.

“Let me get you
the aspirin.”

“No…no…I just need
to sleep.”  He drifted off immediately and she took him in her arms, wishing
she could make his pain go away.  She fell into another restless sleep.

She wasn’t sure
exactly what time it was, but the room was still dark.  She heard him say,
“Want to race, Spider?” in a slurred voice.  She smiled a little and pulled him
closer.  Then she heard a long exhale with a small rattle at the end.  She
froze.  She had heard that once before.  It was when Geoff had died.

“Peter?” she
asked, her voice trembling.  “Peter?”  She rolled over and turned on the light
then rolled back, frantically pulling the covers away from him.  His eyes were
closed and he looked peaceful, but utterly still.  She shook him, calling his
name, but he didn’t respond.  With shaking fingers she felt for a pulse, but
unlike earlier in the evening, she couldn’t find the steady beat.  She lowered
her head to his mouth.  No breath stirred her hair.  She pulled back, uttering
a stifled scream.  It was as if her muscles had clenched and she couldn’t force
out any sound.

She turned,
reaching for the phone, but knocking it to the ground.  Rolling to the floor,
she crawled until she reached the phone and picked up the receiver.  She dialed
the operator.  “Hello,” she whispered in a raspy voice.  “This is Rachel
MacGregor at the Thornton estate.  I need an ambulance here right away.  My
husband…I think my husband is dead.”  She dropped the phone to the floor and
crawled back to him, pulling him into her arms and waiting.

Dr. Miller’s face
was somber when he exited the bedroom.  Rachel had not gone very far and was
sitting on the top step.  Smythe had placed a blanket around her shoulders. 
The live-in staff and stable workers were all gathered below in the main
hallway.  The silence was deafening.

The doctor sat
down next to her.  He was almost seventy and had never felt his age as much as
he did on this night.  He had known this family for his entire career and had
been with them through many tough days.  This time, however, he felt personally
responsible.  He had failed them.

“I’m sorry,” he
said, his voice breaking.  “I should have made him go to the hospital.”

“What happened?”
she asked, her voice calm but barely audible.

“I think he must
have had a subdural hematoma, maybe even severed an artery.  I think he bled
internally, in the brain, causing a clot.  Once that happens, the pressure
builds until…Rachel, I’m so sorry.”

“He’s really
gone?” she asked, staring into nothingness, and Dr. Miller looked down at the
group of people staring up at them.  Employees all of them, no family.  She
needed someone.

“He’s gone,
Rachel.”  For the first time in his career, he felt tears sliding down his
face.  He wiped them hastily and stood.  “I’ll have the ambulance driver take
him now.  Where…where would you like…?”

Smythe hurried up
the steps.  “All has been arranged, Doctor.  I’ve already talked to the
driver.”

“I should go,” Dr.
Miller said brusquely.  He looked down one more time at Rachel.  With her bare
feet poking out from under the blanket and her hair loose around her shoulders,
she looked like a girl again.  “Is there anyone I can call?  I don’t want to
leave you alone.”

Rachel looked up
at him, her eyes not quite focusing.  “I’m not alone,” she said softly.  “He
won’t leave me.”

Dr. Miller almost
collapsed on the step.  He couldn’t bear her pain.  Smythe again came to the
rescue.  “I’ll stay with her.  I’ve already called Father Lawrence.  He should be
here any moment.”

The doctor nodded
his head wordlessly and reached out to touch Rachel, but then pulled back.  He
hurried down the steps and left the house without a backward glance.  The
ambulance driver and his assistant entered the bedroom and left a few moments
later with a stretcher covered in a white sheet.  Rachel kept her eyes
averted.  This was not the way she wanted to see Peter leave their home.

Smythe motioned to
the staff to disperse and sat down on the step next to Rachel.  Even at this early
hour, and in his bathrobe, he looked stiff and butler-like.  His heart was
filled with a painful aching, though, as he stood watch over his mistress. 
Suddenly, he saw her hand reach out and hover mid-air next to him.  He stared
at it, not understanding for a long moment.  Finally, he realized what she was
doing and laid his own hand in it and they sat together like that until the
front door opened and Laurie came racing in.

He bounded up the
steps until he reached his sister and pulled her into his arms.  Smythe stood
to go but Rachel halted him momentarily.  “Smythe, after you’ve rested and had
something to eat, will you pick out a suit for Peter and have it delivered to
the funeral home?  You know better than anyone what suit he liked best.”

Smythe nodded,
gritting his teeth to prevent any emotion from showing.  “Yes ma’am, it would
be my honor.”

“Thank you for
everything, Smythe.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

It wasn’t until he
was gone that Rachel let go.  Harsh sobs broke from her body and Laurie held
her close to his chest, unashamed of his own tears.  Thirty-four years ago, his
sister had protected him on that horrible night, daring anyone to come between
them.  He would do the same for her until his last breath.

“Of everyone we
have lost,” she cried in a hoarse, tortured voice, “this is the one I don’t
think I can bear.”

“We will bear it,”
he said.  “We will bear it together and with God’s help.”

She nodded against
his chest.  “The children have to be called.”

“I’ll handle
that.”

“I don’t know if I
want to live without him, Laurie.”

“Don’t say that,”
he said sharply.  “Don’t even think like that.”

“Always before,
when I lost someone, Peter was always there for me.  When Mama and Papa died,
it was Peter who took me into his arms.  When Ruby died, Peter was with me. 
Geoff, Norris, Theo…he was always there.  Who will comfort me now?

“I will.  The
children will.”

“I don’t know if
it’s enough,” she said honestly, grief threatening to swallow her whole.  “I
don’t think I can do this, Laurie.”

“Do you remember
when Bert lost Maryanne and you called me that night and asked me to go sit
with him?”  She nodded.  “Well, I never told you what happened.  He was
contemplating taking his life that night.  You sensed it, somehow, and knew
that we couldn’t let that happen, no matter how much he missed her.  You have
seven children who will continue to need you every day.  They will help you
through this.”

Later that
morning, he called Theo’s parents in Boston and explained to them what had
happened.  He asked them to break the news to everyone gently and help them
make arrangements to return home as quickly as possible.  He then called Bert
in California.  That conversation took longer and Rachel could hear the emotion
in Laurie’s voice as he and Bert talked.

“Bert said they’ll
catch the next flight home.  Theo’s parents will get everyone on a train
today.  I told Bert we’d wait to make arrangements until everyone was home.”

“I feel so cold,”
Rachel said, staring out the window.  Buckets of rain were coming down, washing
the golden and scarlet leaves off the trees.

“I’ll build up the
fire,” Laurie said.  “Do you think you can eat?”

She nodded her
head.  “No.”

He didn’t push her
yet but knew he would have to before the day was over.  He added more wood to
the fire and fanned the flame.  Still crouched, he stared into the blaze.  It
was unbelievable that Peter was never again going to be here to do this.  One
moment here, the next moment gone.

“He loved you with
every fiber of his being.”

“I know.”  She
sighed.  “I wasn’t ready to say good-bye, though.”

“Would you ever
have been?”

“No.”  She turned
restlessly from the window.  “They’re all gone now.  Norris, Helen, Maryanne,
Geoff…and now Peter.”

“I know.”  He
stood and turned to look at her.  “Look at what they’ve left behind, though. 
An amazing group of children and someday, grandchildren.  The family will go
on.”

She sat down on
the couch where Peter had laid just last night.  “I wish everyone was here.”

They all arrived
within a few hours of each other, still in shock from the news.  Rachel hugged her
nephew, Alan, gratefully, wishing she could pay more attention to him.  For
now, though, she only whispered, “I’m so happy you’re home.”

“I’m sorry, Aunt
Rachel,” he said in a guttural voice.  She saw the scars on his neck and
touched them in sympathy.

“I’m sorry for
everything you went through.  Your uncle and I never stopped praying for you.”

“I know.  Thank
you for taking care of my dad and sister while I was gone.”  He bent his head
to her ear.  “It’s our turn to take care of you.”

Late into the
night, she sat with her family and felt a tiny flicker of warmth in her body. 
Peter was gone but they had created this amazing family.  When Ruby had died,
she couldn’t imagine ever loving any child the same way again.  Then David had
been born, followed by the others and each time her heart had expanded.  Peter
had treated them all as his own children, loving them and teaching them how to
be fine men and women.  She looked at each one of them now, realizing how lucky
she was to be surrounded by each and every one of them.

David, her
serious, intelligent, deep thinker of a son.  The only child she had created
with Peter.  He had always been her special first-born, the one who was her
never-ending connection to Peter.  He still was, she realized as she gazed at
his profile, so much like his father’s.

Matthew, her peace
keeper and kind hearted son.  He cared about everyone around him and even
beyond him.  He had his own father’s love of exploring and she knew that she
would probably have to give him to the world someday.

Steven, her hot
headed and quick tempered son.  He was fiercely protective of all he loved and
tended to talk with his fists before thinking with his head.  He would need
direction to keep himself satisfied and safe.

Lily, her only daughter. 
Sweet and immature, but only because they had allowed her to be.  She was
petted and pampered but had a charming disposition which prevented her from
being unpleasant.  Rachel had never wanted her daughter to suffer the way she
had but realized now that she could protect her from everything.

Rose and Alan,
Maryanne’s beautiful children, and Lorraine, Adrian, and Teddy, the result of Theo’s
long-term indiscretion, completed the next generation.  Rachel wasn’t sure what
the future held for all of them but hoped that someday she would be calling
Lorraine her daughter-in-law.  She also hoped that she would be present as each
of them found their calling, married their love, and brought their own children
into the world.

Rachel closed her
eyes and pictured Peter, as he had been on that last day. Satisfied with life
and deeply in love with her, his words would always live with her. 
“Promise
me if anything were to happen to me, that you’ll keep on searching for those
happy days.  Don’t let it be the end.”

“I promise,” she
whispered to him now.  She saw him smile and with one last wink, he turned and faded
away.  She opened her eyes, the endless tears spilling over.  Bert reached over
and squeezed her hand.

“You O.K., Rae? 
Can I get you anything?”

“No, I’ve got
everything I need right here.” She took a deep breath and reached down deep for
that strength that Peter had so admired.  “Everything I need.”