The Ghost Who Fed Them Bones (9 page)

He treats Jeanette like his wife, and his wife like his mistress, while my Papa treats his mistress like a slut and his wife like his rebel ious daughter. Putain!”

Alice has an idea.

“I know what, hang around the vil age this afternoon. I’l tel you when he is leaving Mme. de Bel etier’s, and you accidental y bump into him as he closes the door. Then half-an-hour later you go to my house and pretend you want to talk to Maman about me. You talk to her for a while then, when my Papa appears, you say ‘Didn’t I just see you sneaking out of M. de Bel etier’s?’.”

“Then what?”

“Then you duck. Maybe you get the hel out of there but, if you do, take Maman with you. Her life won’t be worth living if she is left behind. You take her to the café and you tel her al you know. She wil figure out a way of persuading the police to search the wood outside Montauban. Bring paper when you come back and together we’l draw a map of where I am lying. Once Maman breaks free of him, she wil be unstoppable, I promise you. And I’l be laughing, I can tel you, and I may even be released from this hel -hole.” She realises what she has just said. “Paul, I real y wil miss you, but if you like me even a tiny bit, you don’t want me to suffer do you and, I tel you, my life is unbearable. I cannot stand another moment. It is impossible. Wil you do this for me anyway, even if you do not see me again? Please!”

I pul a face. “I’l do it for you.”

“Thank you, thank you.”

“But I can’t this afternoon. We have friends coming over.”

The air between us surges in ominous agitation.

“Stop, Alice. Behave yourself!” I say it in such a demanding tone that she does, instantly. “I’l do it tomorrow, I promise.

I’l hang around Freyrargues until we catch him.”

“OK. Promise?”

“I already have.”

“What if he doesn’t get the urge for a few days?”

“Then my life wil be like yours.”

The effect of my observation is dramatic. Alice faints, into a dead faint I suppose. I have never seen a ghost do that, and I cannot imagine what I can do to revive her. I cannot even leave her in this position. I fear it is going to be a long wait.

* * *

By the time I arrive back at Valflaunès, everybody has been and gone, except Fiona who is lying in the main room reading a book. When she sees me she gets up to kiss me on both cheeks.

“I thought that you had forgotten or made other arrangements.”

“No, sorry. There was something I had to do unexpectedly.”

“Anything exciting?”

“No, more worrying.”

Fiona waits for me to elaborate but, as I say, it can be a long wait.

“Where are the others?” I ask.

“They have gone for a long walk – a very long walk. They won’t be back until ten or eleven tonight.”

I raise my eyebrows.

“That is a long walk.”

“It is deliberate,” Fiona assures me, “to leave us time together.”

My heart quickens but my mind feels threatened. Why would she want to be alone with me?

“I want to explain a few things to you, and to make you a proposition.”

“OK.”

“Let’s sit down,” Fiona suggests.

“Shal we go onto the terrace?”

“Good idea. It’s nice here. Real y secluded. I am envious.”

“Surely you can find somewhere secluded up at the Château.”

She laughs playful y. “You are kidding me.”

We sit down on the sun-loungers.

“What do you know of my story?” Fiona inquires.

“Nothing much.”

“Do you know about Jane and Sarah’s kidnapping?”

“I have heard people talking about it, sort of quietly. People leap out of cupboards and whisper it to you, Peter especial y.”

“Peter,” Fiona smiles affectionately, “he is such a gossip. And he is very fond of you. He wishes you were gay. He says that it is such a waste you being heterosexual.”

“I like him. He’s fun.” (OK, not strictly true).

“John likes you too, but not in that sense.”

“And Sarah?”

“I am not sure that she has noticed you yet, but I am sure she wil . She is grieving at the moment, and probably for a long time to come.”

“Why is she grieving?”

“She was raped, by an ex-boyfriend.”

“That’s horrible.”

“Yes, it is. She is doing what she can. She is a very determined person, but her mind won’t let her recover yet. That is why Mike doesn’t stand a chance with her. Even if he were the most gorgeous, hunky man in the world, and he isn’t far off, there is nothing she could do with him at this moment. It’s very sad but she wil get over it.”

“Yes, it’s bad luck on Mike too.”

“Shal we reserve al our sympathy for Sarah for now?”

“OK”

“Anyway, you were saying that you had heard that Jane Harding and Sarah were kidnapped?”

“Yes.”

“Alan was my doctor, wel more my healer, and he was also a friend. Did you know that?”

“No.”

“We used to go out together to arty things because Jane, his wife, hates al that and Alan loves it. We would go out two or three times a month. Just that. It was al entirely platonic.”

(Do I need to know this?).

“Then, Jane and Sarah simply disappeared. Not a word from them, or from anyone else. No hide. No hare. And then I discovered that I had breast cancer.” She spots my reaction. “Don’t worry. It has gone now.”

“Good.”

“Alan was a miracle worker anyway, but as we were close friends he was even more determined that he would pul me through, or help me pul myself through, as he would put it. He took enormous risks to save me, risks which the press got hold of and started pil aring us for, accusing us of having an affair while his wife and child were missing. We weren’t having anything of the sort, but his treatment method was a bit unusual.”

“What did he do?”

She hesitates for a split second and watches me careful y for my reaction. “He took off al his clothes and hugged me. I was naked too.”

I am so taken by surprise that I explode.

“Funny, huh?”

“Certainly unusual.”

“You can imagine why the press managed to have such a good time at our expense, especial y when they managed to get pictures of us, with Alan in ful erection ‘n’ al .”

“Mmm.”

“So …”

I don’t know what to say.

“So, we had to come up with a plan. Our plan was that it would have to look like I was having an affair with John, and that Alan real y was doing what he claimed he was doing, curing me in a profoundly unconventional and bizarre way.”

“That you were having an affair with John?”

“Yes, exactly. It was never going to be easy.”

“How did you manage that?”

“Luckily, John and I hit it off the minute we saw each other. Wel , John was a little sharp at first because he thought his father was knocking me off behind his mum’s back, but our natural mutual affinity soon took over. We stil have that. We are fantastic friends, John and I. Peter too, actual y.”

“And …. I’m intrigued.”

“I thought I might have your attention. This is where we come to the Machiavel ian bit. I offered to seduce John, with Alan’s help. John, of course, found me good fun …. ”

“Who wouldn’t …. ”

“As you rightly, if sarcastical y, say, Paul, who wouldn’t? But he didn’t exactly want to bed me. So I had to use other tactics which Alan, to this day, doesn’t have a clue about. You are about to be very shocked, Paul.”

“Try me.”

Fiona gives me a strange glance.

“I made John the proverbial offer he could not refuse. I told him that his father and I had never done anything compromising … ”

“ … was that true?”

“ … entirely true. I have never had sex with Alan …. ”

“OK, just checking.”

“… but if we couldn’t concoct a cover story for Alan, the press would crucify him, and if Jane ever got wind of that crucifixion, things could get very bad for her too.”

“I can imagine.”

“So, here was the deal. I have tons of money. John was very fond of Peter, however while Peter was a flaunt-it-al -

around-town type, John remained very closet. He stil is. Alan had told me that John wanted children. Peter obviously cannot have children, and neither can John. They could adopt, but that gets messy. So, if John were to publicly hook up with me, I would put £1 mil ion aside for him if he would ‘admit’ to the press that he was having a rampant affair with me.

He could then stick to Peter, and I would be their cover story. And, if he wanted to have children, I would bear them for him.

And, he must never tel his father about the £1 mil ion.”

I am impressed. “That is quite a story.”

Fiona focuses her eyes on mine. “Yes, but it gets better.”

“He fel in love with you?”

“In a way, yes, he did, but never physical y. We had to persuade Alan that we were an item, and that Alan was released.

So, I stayed over, as planned between Alan and me, and I slept with John, literal y slept. That was part of the £1 mil ion deal. In the middle of the night I heard Alan get up to go to the toilet. To convince him that things were going wel , I began to improvise gulps of ecstasy as if John and I were making love.”

“This is wild.”

“Tel me when you cannot take any more.”

I wave my hand. “If you can deal them, I can pick up the cards.”

“OK. So there I was, masturbating actual y (I wasn’t going to tel you that, but you seem total y cool about it al ), and John wakes up, wondering what al the noise and the violent shaking of the bed is al about (I was doing it al properly, with every attention to detail, I can tel you). John begins to say something, so I stuff my other hand over his face and carry on. You should have seen how startled he was. I nearly suffocated him keeping him quiet. Fortunately, Alan was returning to his bed by then.”

“Mission accomplished.”

“Wel , not quite. I thought that I had better real y get Alan in the mindset to tackle the press head-on, so the next night I persuaded John to make love to me in their sitting room right in front of Alan.”

I guffaw. “You are joking. You are absolutely fucking joking.”

“No, that is exactly what we did. How on earth I managed to persuade John to do it, I simply don’t know. He was so embarrassed. Stil , perhaps he feared that I would continue on my own, and that it would prove worse. I even had to persuade him to get an erection, and that wasn’t easy I can tel you. I must have a wonderful technique, which I have lost ever since, I might add. So, I got him up, got him in, and even got him to come, while al the time Alan was sitting there passively eating his supper, refusing to be phased by anything. I think that if there is one scene in my life I would like to write into a play or a film, that would be it. It was amazing!”

“And then?”

“And then nothing. John has not made love to me since. I think he is too traumatised.”

“But you stil got married.”

“Yes, the deal stil stood. We real y like each other. We get on excel ently as friends. Peter and John have sex together, and I am left to fit in where I can. Actual y, it is mostly a harmonious household, much more harmonious than many, I would suspect. However, we do not have children yet, which is what we al want.”

“What about Peter, or is that out of the question?” I propose, intrigued by Fiona’s dilemma.

“The problem with that is if we ever broke up. If it were Peter’s child, Peter would demand it back, and his father would absolutely make sure that he got him. There are no half measures to Mr. Romanovski. He is an irresistible force.”

“I see your problem.”

“But I have a solution.”

“What is that?”

“That is where the proposition comes in.”

“OK.”

“The proposition is you.”

My heart kick-starts into a startled pulse and Mr. Winky pulses too. I am sure that I am not misunderstanding her, which I am not.

“I have discussed it with John and with Peter, and we have al agreed that you would make an excel ent choice of father.”

I blush (now there is a strange reaction to the situation – am I flattered?).

“I don’t think I was planning to be a father just yet. Or ever.”

“Paul, I can see what I can see. Not al of you is against the idea.”

I move my hand to cover the incriminating evidence.

“Now,” Fiona says with an enticing smile, “how do I persuade you?”

“Wel , you could pay me £1 mil ion.”

“Would that persuade you?”

“It would certainly take me close.”

Without hesitation, Fiona says “I am prepared to offer £1 mil ion for you to make me pregnant. Are you prepared to accept it?”

I am speechless, which is common, but not in the sense of being lost for words.

Fiona grins at me some more. “Let me try to persuade you further.”

She eases herself up from the lounger, and positions herself in the space between hers and mine, almost touching me.

Slowly she removes her clothes, until she is standing naked beside me, looking down on me.

“So you are a natural blond,” I declare, playing for time.

“That is the fun bit,” Fiona replies.

“Ah.”

She picks up my right hand and moves it towards her. “I am a natural blond who hasn’t had sex in four years. Feel for yourself.”

She guides me between her legs. She may be right. It is like warm al uvial mud in there.

“Do you mind if we go upstairs? Here is rather too exposed for me to relax.”

I look up at the sun which her seductive face is eclipsing.

“Have I said ‘yes’ then?” I ask.

She chuckles.

“I think your twitching rattle snake down there has answered for you.” She bends down to squeeze it. “Hasn’t it?”

She removes my fingers from where I managed to leave them flapping inside her, and leads me into the house and up the stairs. I cannot count how many heart attacks I have along the way, but the steep stairs suddenly become an enormous effort to climb, especial y as I am forgetting to breathe.

“Which room is it?”

My voice breaks dryly as I attempt to tel her.