The Ace (15 page)

“So why didn’t you when he came over...last night...out of the blue?”

Karen ignored her sister’s skepticism. “Why should I miss out on great sex? I figured one more time and then that was it.”

“So you’re going to tell him that’s it the next time you see him?” Karen could hear the disbelief in her voice.

“Yep.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that,” Karen repeated, forcing her expression to remain neutral even though her heart started to pound in her chest at the thought of having to have that conversation with him.

Shannon was quiet for a moment before shaking her head. “Yeah, I’m not sure you have as much control over this as you think you do. It’s not going to be that easy.”

“I have a memory and I remember what it feels like to be blindsided and have your heart ripped out. That’s what makes it easy.”

“Karen, Jerry isn’t Brian,” she said gently, hearing the pain in her sister’s voice.

“I know that,” Karen insisted with a small laugh. “Believe me, I know that.”

“Brian was a loser,” Shannon admitted. She held up her finger. “One loser and you’re going to let him ruin it for you?”

“Stop,” she warned quietly, not wanting to go where her sister was leading her.

“I’m sorry, Karen, but I just don’t understand why you continue to let what happened have any influence on your decisions. He wasn’t and isn’t worth it.”

“He was
my
loser, all right!” Karen exclaimed as she slapped her palm on the table, silencing her sister and ignoring the sharp looks from the women seated in the booth next to them. “I loved him and he ripped my heart out and stomped on it while laughing. And don’t forget about my lovely father...”

“I know and I know how much they hurt you,” she said, her eyes conveying how it had hurt her to see Karen’s pain. “But it makes me so sad to see that you’ve walled yourself off because of him—because of them. You’re letting them win, Karen, and that is so not like you. Jerry is someone who is worth taking a risk for; Brian wasn’t.”

“It doesn’t matter who is worth what. Even if Jerry is the perfect guy, I just can’t do it.”

“So this is how you’re going to live the rest of your life?”

“Pretty much.”

Shannon sighed and tried for one more angle. “What if he wants something more?”

Karen laughed as she sat back in her chair, waving her hand dismissively. Her sister obviously didn’t know Jerry like she did.

“Trust me, you don’t need to worry about that. Jerry is all about casual and having fun. He doesn’t want to touch anything serious with a ten-foot pole. He can’t even commit to a house.”

Shannon didn’t correct her and tell her how Jerry had hemmed and hawed that morning, struggling to answer her question, or about the look on his face when she’d said Karen would be the one ending things with him. He certainly didn’t appear to be only after a fling. He might have thought that was what he wanted at the beginning, but the game was quickly changing.

They had gotten themselves into a fine mess—her sister with her classic case of denial and Jerry walking around in a state of confusion. They were sad cases, both of them, too blind to realize how perfect they were for each other. Shannon could only hope they figured it out before it was too late and she prayed that when the truth finally slapped them both in the face, her sister didn’t run screaming in the opposite direction.

Chapter Fifteen

A few days later, Karen settled into her seat behind the Rockets’ dugout, enjoying the mix of the baseball smells that filled the air. Warm grass, beer, hot dogs and popcorn were just a few she could identify as they all swirled together in the breeze that floated past her.

Maddie had called her with an invitation to attend that night’s game with her and Bree, and she’d accepted even though she’d hesitated a little bit. She was usually always up for a night at the park, she loved them, but with the current state of affairs with Jerry, it was a tad uncomfortable—especially since he was pitching that night.

Why she was now sitting there, she couldn’t say, but while her mind had told her to decline Maddie’s offer, instead she heard, “Sure” come out of her mouth. And here she was, eyeing the small dirt bump in the middle of the expanse of green grass wondering what to do with herself.

Despite what she’d told Shannon, and even though she knew she had to do it, she was avoiding any opportunity to end things between her and Jerry. It irritated her that it wasn’t easy to shut things off with him, but he wasn’t helping matters either. When he’d said the other night that all he wanted was her, her heart had soared while the rest of her had cringed. He was saying things that should remain unspoken in a causal relationship and Karen wasn’t sure if he even realized it. He’d claimed that they were only friends, but then in the next breath he told her he didn’t want to be without her. Things were starting to get messy and she needed to jump ship before they got too hairy. But she just couldn’t do it, no matter how many times she told herself to, that she was going down a road she didn’t want to be traveling.

Now she was anxious about how she would feel watching him since she was no longer an average fan. Before she knew him, Karen could sit and fantasize about him for hours, mesmerized by the way his long body wound up and then released with such power. Now, she knew exactly what was under his uniform and she knew exactly what it felt like to run her hands over him. Would it change anything? Would she feel any differently? Would it bother her if people booed him? What would she say if he had a bad outing and he wanted to talk about it after the game?

Karen wanted to scream, anything to stop the whirling of her thoughts. If things were truly simple and casual between them, as she constantly insisted, then she wouldn’t be having all these questions or wondering if her perception would change. She’d enjoy watching him as she did before and then enjoy him later on in a very different way. There should be no change, but there had been and she knew it. Shannon had called it and even though she’d denied it wholeheartedly, her sister was right. The red warning light was flashing brightly, and while she wasn’t ignoring it completely, she could feel herself wanting to give it the finger.

“Here he comes,” Bree suddenly announced, noticing Jerry had ended his bullpen warm-up session.

As he strolled toward the dugout with a distant look on his face, Karen let her gaze travel over him. His white jersey hugged him closely, displaying the strong, tight lines of his body all in a nice package. He looked delicious and her mouth almost started to water as she thought about exactly what was under that uniform now that she’d seen it up close and personal. She took a deep, calming breath. It would do her no good to sit throughout the whole game worked up, especially since she had to bring things to an end, she reminded herself—again.

Hearing Bree yell out his name, she sat back in her seat, hoping for some ridiculous reason that he wouldn’t hear Bree and see her, suddenly embarrassed to be there, as if she was a stalker fan. But, as luck would have it, Jerry heard Bree loud and clear, and looked up. He gave her a small wave, but just as he was ducking down into the dugout, he spotted Karen and he stopped. A huge grin spread from ear to ear and she felt herself beaming stupidly in return, before looking away and awkwardly shifting against the hard plastic. She was an idiot; who did she think she was kidding? There was no way she was calling things off with him.

She turned her head to find Maddie eyeing her with interest, along with some of the other fans who sat around them.

“What was that about?” Maddie asked her.

“How the hell would I know? The man obviously has brain damage.”

Maddie laughed and rolled her eyes. Karen knew she wasn’t fooling anyone anymore, especially herself. Now she just had to make sure she didn’t end up looking like a pushover until she could actually get her feet to walk away from Jerry.

* * *

As darkness started to settle in and the air lost its pleasant warmth, Jerry stood tall on the mound. It was the top of the sixth, and with the stadium lights blazing down on him, he was in the zone. He didn’t hear the fans, saw nothing but the batter, and was cruising right along. He’d managed to give up only one hit so far and had kept the Los Angeles Quakes off the scoreboard. The Rockets were up by three runs and he wanted to keep it that way.

He felt amazing, back to his old form, and he didn’t want to lose it again. He had no idea what was different or why this game felt so much better to him, but it was a good thing so he didn’t dwell on it or question it. He’d gone through the same pre-game routine and the same bullpen warm-up session; he’d changed nothing, but the results were definitely on the right side of the scorecard tonight.

Maybe he’d just been in a funk that he’d needed to battle through and was finally coming out the other side. The only difference Jerry was aware of was that Karen had finally shown her pretty face at one of his games.

He hadn’t known she was going to be there and when he’d spotted her, it was as if everything had sprung suddenly into sharp, clear focus and his mind had emptied out. After that, he’d trotted out to the mound, set himself for the night and that was it.

He knew Karen’s presence hadn’t actually turned his game around; it was only a coincidence, a quirky fluke. And it didn’t mean anything that whenever he threw from out of the stretch, he looked for her, needing to know she was still there. She was just a friendly face in the crowd rooting for him. That was all.

* * *

“Wow,” Maddie said in between a handful of popcorn. “He’s pitching really well tonight.”

“Yeah, he looks like he’s back to his old form.”

“Hopefully. Chase said that he could tell it was starting to bother Jerry even though he hadn’t said anything to anybody. He’s been trying to ignore all the articles and reporters but when he was taken out of the last game so early it just about killed him.”

“So...umm...” Karen hesitated as she glanced uncomfortably at Maddie out of the corner of her eye. “What do you say to Chase when he has a bad game?”

Maddie shrugged with her focus still on the field. “I don’t say much, really. I pretty much just wait to see if he wants to talk about it. If he does, he brings it up; if not, then I know not to say anything.”

“Yeah, but what do you say? ‘Sorry you sucked tonight’?”

“No,” Maddie said with a snicker. “I don’t know...I guess I just try to make sure he remembers how good he is and it was just an off night.” She turned and frowned. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” Karen said. “Just curious, I guess. I always wondered what went on in those closed-door discussions.”

“Well, they’d be completely different for you.”

She scowled at her friend. “Why’s that? I can be compassionate.”

“Ha!” Maddie laughed. “There isn’t a compassionate bone in you. You would probably tell him that he sucked and needed to get his head out of his...” She shot a quick glance at her daughter. “You know where.”

“I would not!” she protested.

Maddie turned in her seat. “Then what would you say?”

Karen squirmed around a bit while she thought about it. She tried to envision Jerry coming to her after a crappy game and wanting to talk. Truth be told, she couldn’t imagine him really ever doing that, especially since it wasn’t like they were a couple, but she wanted to believe she would be there for him, to offer a sympathetic ear.

“I don’t know exactly what I’d say, but I wouldn’t tell him he sucked...until later.”

Maddie laughed and then turned around when someone tapped her shoulder from behind.

“Excuse me,” a young woman sitting behind them said. Her friend sat next to her with a wicked smile on her face. “Are you Chase Patton’s girlfriend?”

“Yes,” Maddie answered hesitantly.

“Well,” the bleached-out blonde said with a giggle and a blush, “I thought you should know that Chase was pretty frisky with me in the bar the other night. He and Jerry were hanging out and, well, they’d had a little too much, if you know what I mean. He just couldn’t keep his hands off me on the dance floor and he kept asking me to go down on him. Jerry suggested a little three-way action and I’m so bummed that didn’t work out. Who wouldn’t want to be sandwiched between those two?”

Maddie’s mouth opened, but nothing came out. Karen wrenched around in her chair.

“Really? And what night was this, do you mind me asking?”

The girl flinched a bit at Karen’s hard, cold stare, but quickly recovered. “Uh, it was last Wednesday.”

“Chase did get home late...” Maddie started to say, but Karen just shook her head to silence her before forcibly turning Maddie away from the girls.

“Last Wednesday? Really?” Karen asked. “And you said he was there with Jerry, right?”

“Yeah, the two of them. They were coming on to me and my friends pretty strong,” she said. “I guess he was tired of the old woman at home.” She and her friend laughed at her little joke.

You lying bitch
, she thought.
Jerry was in my bed
,
you cleat-chasing slut
.

Karen smiled sweetly and stood up with her arms crossed. “I think you need to apologize to my friend. First for lying to her face, second for calling her old and then for being a dirty whore.”

Taken aback by Karen’s bluntness, the girl’s eyes widened. She and her friend stood up, as did Maddie, who put a hand on Karen’s arm. They were starting to draw attention from the crowd around them. “Karen, it’s okay. You don’t need to make a scene.”

“No, it isn’t okay. It isn’t okay that this sleazy tramp has such low self-esteem that she needs to make everyone else around her miserable.” She turned back on the girl. “Chase would never look twice at you and that just galls you. Jerry, well, I know he wouldn’t even glance in your washed-out direction.”

“And how do you know that? What makes you think you know what Jerry would like?” the girl asked with a hand on her hip.

Karen started. She hadn’t meant to say anything about Jerry, but it had just slipped out. She refused, however, to let this slut think Jerry would have ever given her a second look.

“Because he... I know because...he and...it doesn’t matter, I just know he wouldn’t, okay? Just get your skanky ass out of here.”

People around them cheered at her last words. The attendants had finally made their way over to them and Karen pointed at the girls.

“Please get them out of here. They’re trashing up the place.”

* * *

Out of the corner of his eye, Jerry saw some commotion behind the Rockets’ dugout. It seemed as if the entire stadium had stood up, craning their necks to see what was going on. He stepped off the mound and made to grab the rosin bag as he discreetly checked it out.

Spotting Karen standing with her back to the field as she yelled at some young girls behind her, he slowly straightened up and stared in disbelief. Maddie slouched with her head in her hands, clearly embarrassed. Bree seemed to be enjoying the scene unfolding in front of her, smiling in delight, when the crowd around them cheered as the attendants escorted the girls out of the stadium. Karen then spun and slumped back down into her seat with a huff. Noticing him standing there watching in shock, she waved her hand impatiently at him, telling him to get on with the game. Jerry shook his head, looking down with a small smile as he walked back to the mound, not at all surprised that she was in the middle of it.

* * *

“I’m still so embarrassed,” Maddie was saying as they waited outside the tunnel that connected the players’ parking garage to the stadium.

“Oh, whatever. You embarrass too easily,” Karen said impatiently. “You shouldn’t have let her get to you. I can’t believe you actually started to listen to her crap. That’s the part you should be embarrassed about.”

“I know,” Maddie said as she closed her eyes and swallowed tightly. “It’s still just so hard for me to accept sometimes that he’s really okay with being with someone so much older. Don’t tell him, please?”

“Of course I won’t say anything, but you need to buck up and get a spine. You’re probably going to get this a lot from all the young girls who drool after your hot man.”

“You’re right. I know you’re right. I’m just a wimp,” Maddie said, smiling as she reached down to take Bree’s hand. “Your mommy’s a wimp.”

“That’s why you have Aunt Karen,” Bree said.

Karen laughed. “Damn right, girl. That’s why she has me.”

The players started to emerge in small groups, many of them stopping to greet Maddie and Bree, when suddenly a loud, drawn out “whoo-hoo!” came from deep within the tunnel. Only one person could be that noisy and obnoxious, and Karen steeled herself to come face-to-face with Jerry. She’d held out hope that they would get out of there before he showed up, but unfortunately, it wasn’t going to work out that way. She reminded herself that she needed to put a stop to things between them, she needed to be strong and she needed to act as if she couldn’t care less.

Turning, Karen spotted Jerry’s head over his teammates, grinning broadly at her. When he got up to them, he stopped and yelled, “Let’s get ready to rrrruuuummmbbbllleee!”

Maddie and Bree giggled and she fought against it but lost the battle. Her lips twitched fiercely as she gave him an exaggerated eye roll. “Shut up, you idiot. Do you have to be so loud?”

Jerry laughed and shook his head at her. “Imagine my surprise when I looked up into the stands and saw you right in the thick of a girl fight.”