Tattered Love (Needle's Kiss) (14 page)

It had been a few days since I had my falling out with Trip. He seemed to be keeping something from me. I supposed he was trying to hide the fact he’d told Mace about my meltdown.

I was standing in the kitchen, the sun streaming through the windows, sipping my coffee and glaring at his favorite mug on the dish rack. I was tired and angry. How dare Mace be so gutless and just leave like that! Frankly, I didn’t give a shit if he thought he was doing the right thing or not. It was a spineless asshole move.

He went and made me fall in love with him. He broke down all my freaking walls, which I’d erected high enough to feel safe again. And left. Just like that. Walked right out my front door.

The sleepless nights were getting to me. My mood swings were making me hell to be around, and I was sick to death of crying and being emotional.

Well fuck him! If he didn’t want me, that was just fine and mother fucking dandy!

I stomped over to the dish rack, picked up his mug and threw it hard at the wall. The sound of the porcelain breaking was shrill, making my ears throb. Staring down at the broken fragments somehow made me emotional again. Those shards almost representing my broken relationship with the selfish man I loved. My eyes blurred as I leaned my hip on the counter with a shaky sigh.

I didn’t need him or his stupid shit.

Dumping my own coffee into the sink, I made for the carport turning up Pantera on the stereo as I went. Pulling on my boxing gloves, I took my frustration and anger out on the floor to ceiling boxing bag, picturing Mace’s face as I went. I pounded the bag harder with gritted teeth.

Take that, fuck face
!

After an hour of punching the hell out of my bag, even with raw knuckles, I found no relief from the messed up thoughts in my head. I showered and dressed for the day, but before I did anything else, I needed to remove him from my daily life. I was a big fat bag of mixed emotions, and I’d had enough of being such a pussy. I don’t cry. I never did this squishy emotion bullshit. Stomping through my house with a box in my hand, I threw everything Mace had left behind into it. I sure as shit didn’t need his crap lying all over the place making it harder for me. Sealing up the box, I took it to the spare bedroom and shoved it in the far corner of the closet.

Mulling over my situation, I busied myself downstairs tidying up, playing music and generally occupying myself. Everyday had been a struggle, working with Trip and not asking how Mace was; if he was suffering like I was, it was doing my head in. Living across the road from him and not storming over there to kick his ass for hurting me was killing me to the point I had been staying at Teeny’s place some nights. That was changing. I wasn’t going to be that girl, the girl who cried and sulked over an asshole.

Unfortunately, the surveillance cameras hadn’t gotten a good shot of whoever screwed with my car, which still wasn’t fixed. The damage wasn’t as bad as we first thought, but it was expensive. Thank God, I had good insurance. That wasn’t the last of the vandalism though, a bunch of strange things had been happening. They were increasingly getting worse and I was beginning to get a little worried.

“Scar, where are you?”

“Kitchen!” I called out. Teeny had come round to stay the night with me. Along with the weird shit that had been happening, I had an increasing feeling like I was being watched. It was creeping me the hell out. I hadn’t told anyone about the notes. I just thought it was Janelle stirring shit, but after the one I got just before Teeny showed up, I decided it wasn’t just somebody screwing round; it was serious now.

“What’s going on, hun?” she asked, plopping down on the bar stool at the kitchen counter and dumping her overnight bag on the floor.

I pushed the tray of nachos back into the oven and turned around. “I’ve been getting a heap of these weird letters. They’re address to me. I get home from work and there’s usually one under the door. Anyway, I wasn’t worried about them until this one today. Now, I’m completely creeped out.” I slid the letter over to her and watched as she read it. The color drained from her face as she put it back down.

“First of all, why the fuck haven’t you told me about this sooner?” Teeny sat perfectly still; she may have raised her voice, but I knew full well the storm was about to hit.

“Well, you’ve got your own stuff going on and it wasn’t a big deal. I mean, I know who’s doing it and I can take care of myself.” I turned, avoiding the evil stink eye she was giving me. Teeny had a special talent when it came to the stink eye.

“Since when do you keep secrets from me? When did it become okay to not tell your best fucking friend what’s going on?” she screamed, slamming her hand down on the countertop.

“For fucks sake, calm the hell down!” I snapped.

She was being a big fucking hypocrite right now and I was gonna call her on it. I leaned across the kitchen counter, my face right in hers. In a deathly-calm quiet voice, I told her, “You don’t get to yell at me for keeping this from you. You, Teeny Louise, have been keeping a secret from me for weeks now. Care to share, or are you just going to continue spouting shit?”

Teeny’s face visibly paled and she stammered, “I-I-it’s just, I can’t. You can’t—I—”

“You know, I’ll find out sooner or later, and you just ripped me a new asshole for lying to you!”

A pained expression crossed her face before she blurted, “I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant, alright! That’s my big secret.”

I went completely silent. Unsure if I’d even heard her right. Teeny was pregnant. No, that couldn’t be right. “You’re pregnant,” I muttered a little hurt that she hadn’t told me before now. “You’re pregnant and you didn’t tell me.” This time a little louder.

“I—well, I just didn’t know how—what to do with it. I can’t have a kid. At first, I wasn’t even sure, but then—and well, you’ve been busy with Mace, and then you two broke up and…Yeah, I am.” She babbled, looking nervous and scared all at once, definitely not happy about it.

“You’re not excited? Does—wait, you haven’t been dating anyone.” Now I was just plain confused again. Teeny was far from being a slut. “Who?”

“Trip,” she whispered, looking down at the bench. That one word rocked my world. A gasp escaped my lips as I bought my hand up to my mouth.

Oh shit.

“You can’t say anything to anyone. Nobody else knows. I mean nobody. I haven’t told Trip. I don’t even know what I’m going to do about it.” She rushed out, looking conflicted and unsure. So unlike my Teeny, it wasn’t funny.

I rounded the counter and gripped her tightly against me. “Oh, babes, it’ll be okay, I promise. We’ll figure something out. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I figured if I didn’t say it out loud, it isn’t happening and I’d have time to get my head together.”

An hour later, still standing in the kitchen, we pulled ourselves together. I’d held Teeny while she had a meltdown, and she’d made me tell her everything that had been going on with me, about all the letters, the garden, the back deck, all of it.

“You called the cops yet?” she asked.

“No, like I said, I wasn’t worried until now. There’s only been a few stupid things happening since my car, but now, I don’t know, I kind of feel like someone’s watching me.” A shiver ran up my spine at the thought.

“Right then, well, now we call them. This is serious, Scar. You shouldn’t have waited this long. Where are the rest of them?” she asked as she picked up her cell.

“Upstairs. I’ll get them.” I raced up to my room to get the other letters I’d left on my dresser. As I walked into my room, I paused. Something felt out of place. Like it had been moved. It was strange. I was sure I hadn’t left my window open that morning. Shrugging it off, I picked up the letters and moved to leave the room when something caught my eye from the open door of the bathroom. Terror filled my veins as I dropped the letters and let out a blood curdling scream.

Two fucking weeks. Two of the longest weeks in my life I’d been away from Scarlet. I was literally ripping my own heart out and stomping all over it with shit-covered boots. Even with Trip’s help, I’d come up with sweet fuck all in the “get my girl back” playbook. I knew a simple apology wasn’t gonna cut it, not for a hard ass like Scarlett. I was beginning to slump, my initial determination waning.

Trip walked in through the door and made a beeline for the fridge, leaving the front door open. He handed me a cold beer and flopped down beside me on the ratty old green sofa. “Did you do anything today except watch Scar’s place?’

“No,” I grumbled from my spot on the couch

“Holy shit, you showered! ‘Bout fuckin time—you were starting to resemble a drunken bum,” he mocked, sounding as shocked as if he’d walked in to find a stranger in my place.

I just shrugged my shoulders. Honestly, I didn’t give a damn. I mostly stayed up in my room. I’d come down stairs every now and again to flick through the TV channels. Spending all my time watching Scarlett’s house for any sign of trouble and thinking up ways to get her back. I had an opportunity to work for a buddy doing security detail, but I’d put it off indefinitely. I was lucky I had a good chunk of savings to fall back on so I could concentrate on Scar and sorting out my fuck ups before I went back to working. “Get your shit together, will you?” Trip snapped.

Even my little brother telling me off didn’t stir much of a reaction. “Fuck off!” I answered

Trip opened his mouth to talk when a loud scream came from Scarlett’s place. Without a second thought, I jumped up, ditching my beer and flew out the still open front door.

Blood rushed in my ears as I raced across the road straight into her house. Busting in the front door with one quick kick, I ignored the pain that shot through my bare foot following the sound of her screams. I needed to get to her. The sound of terror in her high pitched screams sliced straight through me. Instincts from years of running into dangerous situations kicked in. I scanned the house as I went; knowing I didn’t have a weapon on me didn’t halt my progress. I needed to find Scarlett, fast.

I took the stairs two at a time, Trip hot on my heels, and my stomach in knots wondering what we’d find, my body on full alert for any situation. Teeny’s car was parked out front, so I knew she wasn’t alone, but that could mean that both girls were in danger. I cleared the top step and quickly made my way into Scarlett’s bedroom, my eyes scanning every inch. I found the girls both standing in the doorway to the en-suite bathroom, both visibly shaking and scared. I grabbed the girls by the arms and spun them into Trip, while briefly running my eyes over Scarlett to check for any injuries. Thank God, she appeared uninjured. That sick feeling in my stomach eased a little knowing she wasn’t hurt.

My focus went back to the open bathroom door and what I saw shocked even me. Red blood like spray was covering every surface. The mirror above the vanity was smashed; a dummy, laid stomach down on the floor in a pool of red liquid, had knives sticking out of its back. Red writing spelled out on the white wall,

WATCH YOUR BACK, BITCH.

Janelle. I was about ready to lose my shit; I just had to get my hands on her first. Turning, I walked straight up to Scarlett pulling her from Trip’s arms into mine. She didn’t protest as I held her close. My body finally relaxed as I held her close. “Call it in,” I told Trip who was already picking up his cell to call the police.

Not wanting to lose the contact I craved since I walked out the door, I ran my hands up her still shaking arms until I made it to her neck. Holding her face in my hands, I looked her in the eyes. “Take a deep breath, baby. It’s a dummy, everything’s okay.” I ran my hands through her silky soft hair, feeling a calm I hadn’t had in weeks. Just holding her in my arms made the overwhelming anger I felt subside. I pulled her close against my chest, again kissing her head. “Everything’s going to be just fine, baby.” I wasn’t sure who I was trying to convince, but I wanted to hold her for just a moment longer. A moment was all I got before she ripped herself from my arms scowling up at me.

“What the hell are you doing here? You left. You left me and now you’re here.” She reared her hand back and swung wide, connecting with my mouth. I took it; it was the least I deserved from her.

“You mother-fucking pussy! You fucking left!” She was pissed and hurt. I could see the tears glistening in her eyes as she started slapping at my chest. Seeing her like this was breaking my heart all over again.

“I told you not to hurt me! I told you not to break my heart, you fucking asshole” Trip had taken Teeny out of the room after the first swing, both of them realizing we needed a minute and getting the fuck outta Dodge. The shit was well and truly gonna hit the fan.

I grabbed both her hands and dropped to my knees. Tears streamed down both our faces. “I left to protect you from my crap, Scar. I didn’t want you in the middle of it all.”

“Protect me? You wanted to protect me? I’m a big fucking girl, Mace. I can damn well protect myself!” she yelled at me, shoving at my chest

“It was my job to protect you, Scar, my damn job. And look…” I pointed toward the bathroom, “I couldn’t do it even when I tried. I didn’t want you to hate me.”

“I want to hate you,” she huffed angrily. All her anger melted into plain hurt as she sunk to the carpet on her ass. She whispered shakily, “This would be a whole lot easier if I could hate you.”

I was a fool to think I could keep her. I had nothing to offer, apart from my heart, but living without her was without a doubt sending me crazy. I was a walking zombie, unable to sleep without her warmth pressed tight against me. The smell of her soap on my pillow, the bone deep cold of not having her in my arms. It was more than I could handle. It hit me all at once. I was done. I might never get this chance again. With Scarlett by my side, we could deal with anything Janelle threw our way, and it was crystal fucking clear, she was going to make life hell whether Scarlett and I were together or not.

“I’m sorry, Scar. I’m so damn sorry. I was wrong and I need you. I don’t wanna be without you.” I was manning up. “Let me be the man you needed ten fucking minutes ago, baby.”

She looked up at me through tear filled eyes, “I don't think I can trust you anymore, Mace.”

“Let me prove it to you. You'll never know until you give me a chance.” Indecisiveness shone deep in her eyes. I reached out and cupped her perfect face in my hands and whispered, “Let me protect you, baby. That's what a man does for his girl. He protects what's his.”

“I—I don’t know that I can, Mace. I can’t risk you hurting me anymore than you have.” I would have been completely deflated if it weren’t for the way she was looking at me. Scar hadn’t completely given up on me. I wasn’t letting her go again. This time, I’d do whatever I had to get my girl back, and when I did, I sure as shit wasn’t letting her go ever again.

I took a deep breath and laid it all out for her. “I’m fucking miserable. I don’t eat. I can’t sleep. I need you, Scar. I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving, but I was wrong. I was so damn wrong, baby.” She needed to understand just how serious I was, “I’m gonna prove it to you, one way or another. You still love me, and I won’t stay away. I won’t be without you anymore. Not ever again.”

Just as she opened her mouth to say something, two uniformed officers walked in the room cutting our conversation short.