Authors: Jamaica Kincaid
Talk Stories (20 page)
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“And just what is this particular luncheon for?” asked the man of his enthusiastic companion, the girl, as they entered a restaurant crowded with people who were holding glasses filled with liquids and ice and standing among tables already set up for dining.
“This is a luncheon for people who have been in a movie,” said the girl. “There is Bruce Dern, there is Robert Mitchum, there is Martin Sheen, there is Paul Sorvino,” she said in one breath and pointing with her chin.
“There is Stacy Keach,” said the man, pointing with a finger.
“There is your finger falling off and lying on the floor,” said the girl. “You mustn't point.”
“I like the waitresses,” said the man. “They favor bangs and short, blunt-cut hair; dresses above their knees; and boots that fall down to their ankles.”
“Martin Sheen has just beamed at me,” said the girl.
“Martin Sheen has just beamed at that nice woman standing a step or two behind you,” said the man.
“Martin Sheen is not as tall as I had expected, and yet he's not short enough to be devastatingly appealing,” said the girl.
“I see that we are being asked to sit down now,” said the man.
“There are rolls on the table,” said the girl.
“There are always rolls on the table,” said the man, “and nobody seems to eat them. When I find food just sitting on the top of a table somewhere, I won't eat it before washing it.”
“Have you spoken to the man who has taken a large amount of his hair from the right side of his head and brushed it all the way over to the left side, only it won't quite lie still and so as you speak to him you are constantly tempted to put it back as it was originally and at the same time straighten his tie?” asked the girl.
“I have spoken to a man who writes exclusively about tennis and who grew up in Wilkes-Barre,” said the man.
“A woman has mentioned interviewing Robert Mitchum,” said the girl, “and now I see him sitting over there, his lunch untouched in front of him.”
“What are we eating?” asked the man.
“Chicken in lemon sauce with French fries and boiled beans,” said the girl.
“I know, but what are we really eating?” asked the man.
“Bruce Dern takes each of his French fries, butters it thoroughly, and then eats it,” said the girl.
“Bruce Dern has said he is the only man who has killed John Wayne,” said the man.
“From where I am sitting, in my view is Stacy Keach,” said the girl. “I always feel that I should like what is in my view, so I make a great effort to sit facing attractive people.”
“I wish the room were aglow,” said the man. “I wish I had a feeling of expansiveness and fulfillment and delight in small, unimportant things. I cannot finish my chicken.”
“I have noticed,” said the girl, “that whenever people want you to eat a strange sort of animal they immediately tell you that it tastes just like chicken. This chicken that you cannot finish tastes just like chicken.”
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January 17, 1983
January 17, 1983
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The invitation read, “Countess Christina Wachtmeister, Lord Jermyn, and Susan Blond invite you to a late night party in honour of Culture Club and their American triumph. Saturday, February 26. Mr. Chow's. 324 East 57th Street. 11:30 P.M. RSVP Epic Records. Present this invitation at door.”
“I suppose you know the names and recognize the faces of many of the people here,” said the man.
“here's a girl whose style of dressing was once described in a book on fashion and fashionable people as grouchy simplicity,” said the girl.
“I suppose you know this restaurant well and eat here all the time,” said the man.
“There's the rock critic Lisa Robinson, there's the photographer Sonia Moskowitz, there's the artist and personality Marja Samson, there's John Sykes, the director of programming for MTV, there's Maria Vidal, formerly of the group Desmond Child and Rouge, there's Gregg Geller, the A. & R.
man who signed the group Culture Club to the Epic label, there's Lord Jermyn, a man who is said to own the longest Mercedes in the world and who is also one of the hosts, there's the rock musician Rick Derringer, there's the rock musician Stevie Winwood, there's the English rock singer Boy George's manager, Tony Gordon,” said the girl.
man who signed the group Culture Club to the Epic label, there's Lord Jermyn, a man who is said to own the longest Mercedes in the world and who is also one of the hosts, there's the rock musician Rick Derringer, there's the rock musician Stevie Winwood, there's the English rock singer Boy George's manager, Tony Gordon,” said the girl.
“Whenever I am introduced to someone, I always wonder what he or she was like as a child,” said the man.
“There's a stunning black girl dressed in a long white shift,” said the girl.
“Though, of course, sometimes when I am introduced to someone I wonder what he or she might be like as something other than a child, doing things other than what a child might do,” said the man.
“There's another stunning black girl, with hair that stands up on end as if she were in a comic book and had just had an incredible fright,” said the girl.
“Boy George is a man and yet he wears makeup and therefore sometimes looks like a woman,” said the man.
“I saw Boy George walking down the street one day and to myself I admired his shade of lipstick,” said the girl.
“Boy George is a white man and yet when he sings he sounds like a black girl, a very young black girl,” said the man.
“That day, just before I saw Boy George walking down the street, I had been singing his song âDo You Really Want to Hurt Me' to myself: âDo you really want to hurt me, Do you really want to make me cry.' I thought, What a coincidence, until I saw that it was a big hit on the charts. Half the people
who saw Boy George that day were singing his song shortly before. That day I saw Boy George, I thought, How bold of him to wear so much foundation on his face and not worry about clogged pores,” said the girl.
who saw Boy George that day were singing his song shortly before. That day I saw Boy George, I thought, How bold of him to wear so much foundation on his face and not worry about clogged pores,” said the girl.
“I should like to go home and sleep in my bed now,” said the man. “My bed is a bed, I recognize it to be my bed, I never wonder about anything when I am lying in my bed.”
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March 14, 1983
March 14, 1983
At the Bottom of the River
Annie John
A Small Place
Lucy
The Autobiography of My Mother
My Brother
My Favorite Plant
(editor)
My Garden
(
Book
):
Annie John
A Small Place
Lucy
The Autobiography of My Mother
My Brother
My Favorite Plant
(editor)
My Garden
(
Book
):
Copyright © 2001 by Jamaica Kincaid Foreword copyright © 2001 by Ian Frazier All rights reserved
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Farrar, Straus and Giroux
18 West 18th Street, New York 10011
18 West 18th Street, New York 10011
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Designed by Jonathan D. Lippincott
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eISBN 9780374706258
First eBook Edition : April 2011
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First edition, 2001
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Kincaid, Jamaica.
Talk stories / Jamaica Kincaid.
p. cm.
Kincaid, Jamaica.
Talk stories / Jamaica Kincaid.
p. cm.
ISBN 13: 978-0-374-52791-4
I. Title.
PR9275.A583 K56385 2000
00-042684
These works, with the exception of Ian Frazier's Foreword and Jamaica Kincaid's Introduction, first appeared in
The New Yorker
. Grateful acknowledgment is made to George Trow for permission to reprint “West Indian Weekend.”
The New Yorker
. Grateful acknowledgment is made to George Trow for permission to reprint “West Indian Weekend.”
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