Soul Cry: The Ten Year Girlfriend (8 page)

I entered the house and quickly grabbed several large garbage bags we used for the yard to throw as much of my clothing as I could into them. My heart was beating so fast I thought it would burst out of my chest. I couldn't believe this was the way we were ending. I loved him so much but he obviously didn't feel the same for me or he could have never accused me of cheating on him. He thought I was a whore. I felt like breaking down and crying again but I held it together continuing to pack my things.

“ So you just gonna sneak in here, pack your shit and leave me?”

I jumped at his voice and turned to see Roderick leaning in the doorway staring down at me. He should have been dressed in a suit and still at work. Instead he was dressed like he'd just left the block. Jeans, black t-shirt and sneakers. I had to quickly look away from him because I already felt my resolve weakening just looking at him.

“ I just came to get my things. I don't want any problems Roderick. I'll be out of here in a minute.” I said looking away as I continued to move about our bedroom gathering my things. “ Why aren't you still at work? I was hoping to be in and out before you got home.”

“ I'm sick.”

I raised my eyes to look at him. He looked fine to me. I was the one whose heart was breaking and he was the cause of it.

“ Lay down with me Amina. Please.”Roderick asked,his voice held something I'd never heard before.

“ I am not having sex with you Roderick. Not after the things you said to me, the way you made me feel.” I said shaking my head vigorously.

“ I didn't ask you for sex. I just need you to lay down with me. I haven't slept in two nights I've missed you so much. Can you please just lay down with me?” Roderick walked towards the bed removing his shoes and then his shirt.

I inhaled sharply embarrassed because I was sure he'd heard me. I loved looking at this man. His body was beautiful to me and he knew it. In three years we'd never spent a night apart. Not once. Hell in three years I hadn't gone more than two nights without being made love too. I had to be strong though. I had to ignore the growing wetness between my thighs and the tingling of my now pebbled nipples. Fuck Roderick. Maybe my ass was “ hot” as he put it but it was only for him!

“ Well get used to it. I'm not going to let any man talk to me the way you have Roderick. You pulled this shit the first night  we met and obviously you must have been holding your real opinion of me in for the last three years. It didn't take much for your true thoughts of me to come out. There wont be a third time.” I said continuing to stuff my clothing into bags. My throat was tight and I could feel myself slowly unraveling.

I was kneeling on the floor reaching under the bed to retrieve several storage bins I had filled with shoes when I suddenly felt him grab my hips and laying me down on a pillow he'd thrown on the floor.

“ Stop it Roderick!” I said struggling to break away from him but he held me so tight I couldn't move. He pinned my arms to my sides and positioned his legs over mine until I was immobile. We now laid face to face.

“ If you really gon' leave me Amina at least let me rest. I can't sleep without you. You ain’t supposed to be able to sleep without me either but I guess you can huh?” he said staring into my eyes. What I saw next had me speechless. Were those tears in his eyes? I couldn't believe it. Not my Roderick. Yet here he was tears now sliding down his face.

“ I'm tired and I miss you so much Amina . You're breaking my heart. You know I can't live without you.” Roderick whispered leaning in to kiss my lips. Now I was the one breaking down in sobs.

“ You hurt me Roderick.” I choked out between sobs.

“I know baby.  I'm so sorry. Please forgive me,please...,” he begged kissing all of my tears away. His hands caressing and kneading every part of my body until I was on fire for him. I shut my eyes tightly willing my mind and body not to want him so goddamn much. The shit wasn't working.

My eyes flew open the sound of my own moans embarrassed me. Is this all it took for me to forgive Roderick's bad behavior towards me?

“ OH GOD!” I cried out grasping his head that was now buried between my spread thighs. All it took was a few laps of his long tongue and I was writhing uncontrollably as I climaxed on his tongue,my back arched sharply. I couldn't stop shaking.

“ Put your legs around me Amina.”

I didn't want to deny him but I still had to try. I did have some pride left.

“ No,stop Roderick we still need to talk about what happened the other day.”

“ Give me what I need Amina. Please.” he asked now on his knees holding my legs apart holding his hard dick in his hands as he stared down at me. “ Just give it to me Amina.” Roderick said. He wasn't even looking at my face anymore. His eyes were locked on my spread pussy.

“ No Roderick.”

“ Your pussy is saying yes.” he said taking the massive head of his dick and rubbing it along my pussy lips. I could feel my slit opening to accommodate him. Damn it really was saying yes.

“ I'll still leave you Roderick.” I gasped even as my hips raised to welcome him home.

“ I know baby. It'll never happen again.” Roderick said lowering his lips to mine and burying himself inside of me. With every powerful thrust Roderick made he proclaimed his undying love and devotion to me. When I came my pussy tightened around the length of him as I screamed his name on wave after wave of pleasure. Moments later Roderick joined me.

“ Goddamn I love your ass. Please don't leave me.” Roderick panted rolling onto his back and taking me with him securely on his chest. Roderick reached up into his nightstand for something.

“ Are you still going to marry me Amina?” he asked his voice was low. He sounded scared.

“ Of course I am. I love you too. I'm not going anywhere.” I held my hand out and he slipped my ring back on my finger.

Who was I fooling? I wanted to be Mrs. Roderick Jabri Thomas. I loved him and couldn't imagine myself anywhere he wasn't.

* * * *

S
HIT! I'd been calling Amina all day hoping for an update. I wasn't that concerned about
her
though. I really just wanted the low down on if Roderick had been calling her which I knew he would. They'd been doing this up and down mess far too long for him to just let her go that easily. Though I was praying like hell he would. Amina had finally left Roderick after ten years and I couldn't have been happier. I was sick of being her confidant when it came to her relationship with Roderick. I ain’t never heard a bitch complain so fuckin' much about a nigga that did everything for her! Where they do that at?

Roderick wifed Amina's ass the very day they'd met. Hell to my knowledge no female had ever had the pleasure of saying she was his girlfriend,let alone being taken care of at the level Amina was. What pissed me off the most is how ungrateful Amina was. He goes to the club too much and never takes me,he fucks good but he makes me feel like a sex slave, he's so demanding.

Bitch, I wish I had those type of problems out of a nigga.

Now granted I've known Roderick's ass from back in the day, so I already knew he didn't run behind any females. So that only made me all the more curious as to why he chose Amina? I mean my girl looked good and all, but what the fuck was so special about her? I was positive he'd end up cheating on her ass and breaking her heart into a million tiny pieces. I was wrong though...at least to my knowledge. I hadn't heard a peep about him being unfaithful to Amina at all. Which only made my resentment towards her relationship with Roderick grow throughout the years. I mean I know how she whined about how long they'd been together and that he wasn't following through on his proposals but fuck it. They got together when she was 19 and he was 21! Ten years ain’t shit. Hell we're still young.

I was out here struggling to find a man that was employed, straight, hell in Los Angeles it was hard finding a brotha that was into black women! Here Amina was worried about this simple ass shit. Amina worked...when she didn't have too. Roderick had moved her into his townhouse day one. He even paid her portion of our rent for a year since he knew it meant leaving me in a financial bind until I could find another roommate. Then six years ago he bought them a 4,000 square foot, four bedroom home. You wouldn't hear a bitch like me complaining. Amina also wouldn't give the nigga a baby unless they were officially married either. You best believe I would have given that nigga his own football team after all these years! Roderick had given Amina everything but that piece of paper and she was tripping about that.

I can't lie. I felt some type of way about the shit from the start especially since I had thrown hints that I was attracted to him since high school and he'd never paid me any attention. The whole situation had me feeling salty starting ten years ago at that damn BBQ. Amina went to the BBQ and ended up with Roderick. I sucked his boy Damien's dick,fucked him later that night and ended up with chlamydia.  Amina didn't even deserve a man like Roderick as far as I was concerned.

A year ago something between Roderick and I changed. They had a huge argument and all of a sudden I not only became Amina's confidant. I became his as well. During the last year my feelings for him have grown to the point that I feel a deep sense of love for him. Amina is just dragging him down. It's killed me the last year to listen to all her silly immature complaints. So when she claimed...once again,that she'd had enough, I was more than happy to help her ass leave him.

I went out of my way to help her get things together so she had no reason to ever come back to Los Angeles and if she ever did,it was going to be too late. All I needed was time to lay this good pussy on Roderick right. I was positive I could make him forget all about Amina  Instead of playing her position as his number one woman, this bitch wanted to trip about a piece of paper. Tuh! Not me. I knew how to treat a man like Roderick.

I just needed to make sure he didn't go running after her. He'd been calling my phone all goddamn night. Amina had stayed the night with me so I could get her to the bus station this morning. I'd held off from answering his calls until that bus had taken her well out of California. Now was the perfect time for me to start answering my cell and to drop some dirt in his ear about Amina. Over the last year I'd concocted a pussy full of lies to tell Roderick about Amina.

* * * *

L
aDaya twisted in her seat. “ Girl this is some mess! That nigga know he was wrong for coming at you the way he did at the gas station BUT I can't lie...I know that brotha tripped seeing you hugged up with ol' boy in the store! Most men would have felt like that too!”

Shavon laughed and cut her eyes at me.

“ That nigga had you dickmatized. We all been there before but it seems to me like he was abusive and you knew it. Tell the truth,shame the devil. You knew is ass was a nut didn't you Amina?”

I blinked my eyes several times so I wouldn't start crying again. I hate Roderick had me feeling so emotional. I imagined I would feel like this for awhile.

“ I guess I did. In all honesty, in all of these years we've only had one incident where he put his hands on me. Which surprisingly was just recently. It was the final straw for me,among other things.  I mean outside of throwing that damn drink on me that is.  I now realize there was a lot of emotional abuse taking place. When I think over the years of us being together I was the main problem.” I said shaking my head.

“ What do you mean?” LaDaya asked.

“ Well, I catered to Roderick's every need. I cooked for him, cleaned for him. Fucked on demand, I was loyal in every way. I mean I wouldn't even hold conversation with another man on a friendly level so there would never be any misunderstandings between us. If a man looked at me,I looked the other way. Now I know I shouldn't have had to do that. He should have trusted me.”

“ Oooh Weee! That nigga had you marching like a soldier didn't he?” Shavon said.

“ Pretty much. It started to get to me after awhile though. I began to realize just how unequal our relationship was. We still hadn't gotten married. He was giving me everything materially but my eyes started to open up to what he was holding back.” I said.

Just then our driver came over the loud speaker. We'd arrived at our last stop before we arrived in Cleveland. We had 30 minutes before we took off again.

LaDaya grabbed her purse from under the seat and pulled out her cell phone.

“ I'm going to call Paul you guys. I'll see you back on the bus in 30.” she said quickly rushing off the bus.

“ I'll see you back on the bus LaDaya. I'm going to stretch and call my sister to make sure she knows exactly what time to pick us up.” Shavon said as we exited the bus.

“ Okay, I'll see you guys back on the bus.” I welcomed the time alone. Telling Shavon and LaDaya about Roderick and my relationship had been tougher than I thought. I'd hidden so many of my feelings from people for so long,it felt good to finally tell the truth. Ten years of loving him and here I was running away with nothing. Nothing but my clothing and the baby in my belly he didn't even know I was carrying. I still had love for him but when I'd found out I was pregnant with Roderick's child after all these years of my trying to make sure I brought my child into a home where we all carried the same last name,Roderick had his way with that as well. Even though he didn't even know it. I ran my hand nervously over my belly.

I still couldn't believe it. It was true though,six home pregnancy tests and a trip to the doctor had confirmed it. I went into the restroom then sat on one of the bus station chairs. I was shocked when the guy Rasean came and sat down next to me.

“ You know you don't have to take that shit right. That nigga don't sound like he's the one for you.” Rasean said,his eyes twinkling.

“ Excuse me? Why are you eavesdropping all in my conversation?” I asked. I was pissed.