Shattered Justice (41 page)

Lips compressed, he hunted out the verses she’d listed. But as he read, something strange happened. It was as though he’d never read anything like this before. As though the words almost came alive on the page.

As though they sang with the same joy he’d always heard
in Shannon’s voice—and his heart responded. A strange feeling bloomed inside him, a warmth that grew and spread. When he came to the final passage, he lifted the Bible and read it out loud.

“ ‘I wait quietly before God, for my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken.’ ”

Never be shaken. To never again be afraid … oh, how he longed for that!

“ ‘So many enemies against one man—all of them trying to kill me. To them I’m just a broken-down wall or a tottering fence.’ ”

The image of Marlin and his gang drifted through Jayce’s mind.

“ ‘They delight in telling lies about me. They are friendly to my face, but they curse me in their hearts.… My salvation and my honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.’ ”

No enemy. Not Marlin. Not the creeps who hung with him.

Nobody.

“ ‘O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge. From the greatest to the lowliest—all are nothing in his sight. If you weigh them on the scales, they are lighter than a puff of air. Don’t try to get rich by extortion or robbery. And if your wealth increases, don’t make it the center of your life. God has spoken plainly, and I have heard it many times: Power, O God, belongs to you; unfailing love, O Lord, is yours.’ ”

Jayce stared down at the next words, and for a heartbeat dread settled over him. “ ‘Surely you judge all people according to what they have done.’ ”

If that was true, then what would happen to him? He’d done terrible things! If God was going to judge him, then what hope was there?

The answer came in the form of one of the earlier verses
he’d read with equal speed: “ ‘Praise the L
ORD
, I tell myself, and never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He ransoms me from death and surrounds me with love and tender mercies.’ ”

Jayce wanted that. Forgiveness. Tender mercies. He wasn’t even completely sure what tender mercies were, but he wanted them. Holding Shannon’s Bible to his chest, he looked at the ceiling.

“God, are You there?”

Though no voice answered, Jayce knew He was. He could feel it.

“Listen, I’m no good at this.” A rough chuckle escaped him. “I’m no good. That’s the truth. But Shannon … God, she was good. And she said I could be, too. That You could make me good. So please, do that. Make me the way Shannon saw me. Okay?”

He looked down at the Bible in his hands and smiled. As he stood and laid the Bible and journal on the stand next to his bed, he realized something.

There was silence inside.

The angry voice wasn’t just silent. It was gone.

In its place were all the words he’d read tonight. Shannon’s words, from her journal. The words from the Bible. And as he let them echo through him, Jayce felt something strange. Something he’d never felt before. It wasn’t until he’d gotten ready for bed and slipped under the covers that it finally occurred to him what the feeling was.

Peace.

He reached up to turn the light off, then laid his head on the pillow. For once, the darkness wasn’t imposing. Instead, it seemed quiet. Welcoming. He lay there for a long time, just soaking in the new feelings sweeping over him.

Things were different. No,
he
was different. He wasn’t sure how or why, but he was. And that meant he had to do something.

He wasn’t looking forward to it. But it had to be done. He rolled to his side and punched his pillow into shape. At least he didn’t have to do it alone. Like Shannon wrote, God would be with him. So he’d be okay.

No matter what happened.

THIS IS SO HARD!

Shelby sat across the booth from Dan, her hands folded in her lap. She’d had them on the table, but several times it took all her willpower not to reach out and take Dan’s hand, and ask him to talk to her. Really talk to her. Not just rattle off information about how Jayce was doing. Not sit there, his stiff every move and reserved word screaming out to her how much she’d lost.

Lord, how do I deal with this? With having to be around Dan all the time? I miss him so much …

She studied his features, saw the shadows behind those blue eyes, the weariness that left his features drawn. She’d been so angry with him, with the way he treated her. But lately she realized the anger had faded.

In its place was sorrow. Grief for the death of what might have been. She’d asked God, over and over, to take her feelings away. To change her so that she looked on Dan as a good friend. A brother.

But every time she saw him, every time she heard that deep voice, her traitorous heart shifted into overdrive, and she knew.

She’d never stop wanting to support him, to comfort him, to be a part of his life. She’d never stop wanting to give him her lov—

“I just don’t know what to do.”

His words pulled her attention back to the conversation.

“It’s not that Jayce and I are having problems.” He took his napkin and started shredding it into tiny pieces. “We’re getting along great. That’s what makes it so hard to know he’s protecting Marlin Murphy.”

“Why do you think that is, Dan? I mean, Jayce doesn’t even like Marlin.”

“I wish I knew.”

Shelby stared down at her plate, at the sandwich she hadn’t touched. “There has to be a reason.” What would make Jayce protect someone he hated? What motivation …?

She gasped, and before she realized what she was doing, she grabbed Dan’s hand. “You don’t think—”

Dan’s hand tensed under hers. His gaze, which was on their joined hands, lifted to meet hers. Shelby jerked her hand back. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “No, it’s okay.”

She focused on her purse, on pulling out her wallet.

“Shelby, I’ve got it. I asked you to meet me—”

She tossed the money on the table and jumped up. She had to get out of here before she did something even more stupid. Like burst into tears in the middle of Lou’s Diner.

She almost made it to her car when Dan caught up to her. He grabbed her arm. “Shelby, please, wait.”

She stopped, but she didn’t look at him. Couldn’t. Just kept
her eyes fixed on the ground. His grip gentled, and he took hold of both her arms, turning her toward him.

“Shelby.”

Such tenderness in the way he said her name. Tears jabbed at the backs of her eyes. She hadn’t heard him say her name like that for so long.

“Shelby … please.”

She bit her lip, staring now at the front of his uniform. One finger slid under her chin, tipped her head up so their eyes met. She saw the surprise—and then the remorse—when he realized she’d been crying.

He cupped her face with one hand, then pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and wiped her tears with the other. “I’m an idiot.”

She didn’t argue. His lips quirked at that.

“I’m sorry, Shelby. I really am. I just …” He sighed, releasing her. “I don’t know how to act around you anymore.”

She took his handkerchief. “Yeah, well, welcome to the club, bucko.” She blew her nose once, twice, then folded the kerchief and held it out to him.

He looked down at it then at her. “Um. Keep it.”

She realized what she’d done, and suddenly she was laughing. Dan’s laughter joined hers, and they stood there, hooting like a couple of loons until tears ran down their faces. People walking by stared at them, and a few sidestepped them as though they were contagious.

Which just made them laugh all the harder.

Several minutes went by before they could get themselves under control. Finally, Dan laid a hand on her shoulder, using the other to wipe at his tearing eyes.

“Oh, man!” He clutched at his side. “That hurt!” His grin drew her lips into a smile as well. “And it felt great.”

“Yes.” She drew in a deep breath. “Yes, it did.”

He straightened, sliding his hand down her arm to take her hand. “What do you say, Shelby? Can we start again? Maybe be
friends for a while and, I don’t know, see where that takes us?”

She squeezed his hand, then let it go. “I’d like that.”

His smile was open and relaxed for the first time in a very long time. “Me, too.”

“Well, I’d better get back to—”

“Wait. You were going to say something in there, before I got stupid.”

She punched his arm. “You didn’t get stupid. You’ve been there for quite some time.”

“Ha ha. So do you remember what you wanted to say? About Jayce and Marlin?”

She frowned then her eyes widened. “It was about why Jayce covers for Marlin.”

“And?”

“Well, we agree there has to be some reason Jayce won’t talk about Marlin, right?”

Dan inclined his head. “Right.”

“And we all know how good Marlin is at threatening people.”

“Right again.”

“So …?”

He arched his brows, holding out his hands. “So? Care to enlighten the poor confused male?”

Shelby chuckled. “Jayce’s grandmother.” She watched his face and saw the pieces of the puzzle that had been haunting Dan spinning into place.

“Of course. Marlin is threatening Jayce’s grandmother.”

Shelby nodded. “It makes perfect sense, when you think about it. Jayce covers for someone he hates …”

“…  to protect someone he loves.” Dan turned and headed for his cruiser.

“Hey!” Shelby trotted after him. “Where are you going?”

“We.” Dan took her arm and hustled her along beside him. “The question is, where are
we
going. And the answer is, to see Mrs. Dalton.” He gave her a grim smile. “I think it’s time for Gramma to take a little vacation.”

“I’m done.”

Marlin Murphy heard the words. Understood them. He just couldn’t believe that Jayce was saying them. Just like that. Like Marlin would smile, pat Jayce on the head, and say, “Okay, see ya.”

Yeah. Right.

Marlin pulled the cigarettes from his pocket, choosing one with care. He hopped onto the picnic table, sitting on the edge. Normally the town library wasn’t his preference for a meeting, but it was late enough that there wasn’t anyone around. When his cigarette was lit, he took a long, satisfying draw, blowing out the smoke and watching it rise into the darkness.

Then, and only then, did he look at Jayce. “Excuse me?”

Jayce didn’t flinch at the low threat in Marlin’s words, but then Marlin hadn’t expected him to. This kid was as fearless as it got. If he could just get past his conscience, he’d be perfect for the business.

“I said I’m done. With all of it. With you.”

“That so?” Marlin took another drag on his cigarette, letting the smoke seep deep into his lungs, warming him, shoring him up. “Says who?”

“Says m—”

Marlin cocked his head when Jayce stopped. Maybe he was wising up, changing his mind.

“No. That’s not really true. It’s not me; it’s God.”

Oh, please! Marlin flicked the cigarette away. “God.”

“Yeah. God.”

“So you’re tellin’ me you got religion.”

The punk actually smiled. “No. I’m telling you I got God. And Jesus. And I’m done. Because of them.”

Standing, Marlin let out a bark of laughter and slid his hands into his pockets. “So that’s why you asked me to meet you here and to come alone.” He considered bringing the stupid siblings
with him but didn’t want them—or anyone else—to think he was afraid of Jayce.

Or of Deputy Dan.