Selby Santa (10 page)

‘Oh great,’ Selby sighed in his brain.

‘Then he slowly makes his jaws come apart so his mouth is huge.’

‘If he tried to eated me, I’d punch him really hard!’ Billy said.

‘Me too!’ said Willy, making a fist. ‘I’d punch him really, really hard!’

‘Yes, boys,’ Postie said. ‘Now let’s see some birds, everyone.’

The crowd filed out of the Nocturnal House, leaving Selby still frozen in front of Midnight’s case. The snake’s body squirmed slowly around, his eyes staring straight at Selby, his red tongue flicking in and out.

‘He’s like a giant magnet that won’t let me go! He’s got me in his grip! But that’s silly,’ Selby thought. ‘It’s just my brain that won’t let me move. I’m the one that has to get a grip.’

Selby turned his head away from the snake’s stare.

‘There,’ he muttered,‘I’m a free dog again.’

‘You talked!’ a voice behind him said.

‘I heard you too, stinky dog!’ another voice said.

‘The brats!’ Selby thought. ‘I’ve got to get out of here!’

Before Selby could race for the door, Willy grabbed him by the collar.

‘You have to talk.’

‘Yeah,’ Billy said, gripping Selby’s back legs, ‘time to talk.’

‘Okay, guys,’ Selby said. ‘I’m talking. Now let me go.’

‘You hafta tell people!’ Willy demanded.

‘Yeah, you hafta talk to Mummy!’ Billy said.

‘Listen, guys, I’m a little busy just at the moment, so if you don’t mind —’

‘You shut up!’Willy said. ‘Or we’re gonna … we’re gonna …’

‘Or you’re gonna what?’ Selby said. ‘Okay, so I should never have talked to you in the first place.
But nobody believes a word you twerps say, so let me go and we’ll forget all about it.’

By the time Selby realised what was about to happen, it was too late. Willy had jumped up on a Wom-Bin and slid open the bolt at the top of Midnight’s case. In a second, he and Billy had thrown Selby inside.

‘Hey, hang on, guys, let me out of here,’ Selby shouted. ‘
Sheeeesh
! I’m standing on the snake! Oh yuck!’

Selby quickly moved his feet, stepping between the big black coils of snake, and pushed as hard as he could against the lid of the case. But, just as he did, Billy slid the bolt across, locking him inside. Now Selby could feel the massive snake moving under and around him. Each time he felt the touch of its cold skin, he moved his feet again.

On the other side of the window, Willy and Billy watched and laughed.

‘Hey, Billy!’ Willy squealed. ‘The stinky dog is gonna get eated by the snake!’

‘Hey, guys,’ Selby said. ‘Let me out. Come on, you’re going to be in big trouble.’

‘We can’t hear you, can we, Billy?’ Willy said.

‘You can hear me. Let me out! You’re going to get spanked! Then the police are going to put you in jail till you’re very, very old!’

Midnight was moving faster now, his head slithering across Selby’s back and then under his legs. Selby moved sideways and stepped over the snake, only to have it wrap around him again.

‘Oh
sheeeesh
,’ Selby muttered. ‘This is my worst nightmare come true!’

One of Midnight’s big black coils landed on Selby so heavily that his legs went out from under him. In a second, he found himself slithering like a snake to get out from under the huge python.

‘Okay, guys!’ Selby yelled. ‘You win! Let me out and I’ll talk!’

‘Okay,’ Billy said,‘I’ll get Mummy!’

‘There’s no time! Let me out and I’ll talk to her. I’ll talk to everybody!’

‘You tell lies!’Willy said.

‘Yeah! You’re a liar poop dog!’ Billy said.

‘Listen, if this snake eats me,’ Selby called out, ‘no one will ever believe you when you say that I was a talking dog! So you’ve got to save me! Think about it — if that isn’t too hard for your tiny little brains.’

‘You’re not nice!’ Willy said. ‘That was bad what you said.’

‘I was kidding! Just unlock this case and I’ll do anything you say!’

Selby was twisting like a corkscrew now as the snake tried again and again to wind itself
around him. Suddenly he felt the flicker of the snake’s tongue on his ear.

‘I was kidding about your tiny brains! Help me!’ Selby pleaded. ‘Oh no, his jaw is coming apart! He’s opening his mouth really wide! He’s going to swallow me!’

Selby dodged quickly to the side and felt a heavy rock under him. In a flash, he’d picked it up and hurled it with all his might, smashing the front of the case.

‘Out of my way, you little mongrels!’ Selby cried as he dived out of Midnight’s grasp, knocking Willy and Billy to the ground.

And in the blink of an eye, Selby was outside, his heart pounding like a piston engine, his legs shaking so much he couldn’t run straight.

‘Those kids tried to kill me! I’ll get them back for that!’

Selby was heading for the zoo exit when he heard Aunt Jetty’s voice nearby.

‘Has anyone seen Willy and Billy?’

‘They were in the Nocturnal House,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘I didn’t see them come out.’

Selby looked back and saw Midnight slithering out into the bright sunlight.

‘A snake!’ someone screamed. ‘Help, a snake-escape!’

‘It’s Midnight,’ Postie said. ‘Stand back. He’ll go to sleep now that he’s out in the sun. I’ll get a net.’

But there was something strange about Midnight. In the middle of that huge, long, black body were two boy-sized lumps.

‘He’s eaten Willy and Billy!’ Aunt Jetty screamed. ‘He’s eaten my babies! Somebody do something! Help!’

‘I’ll ring the emergency-rescue people,’ Postie said.

‘No, there’s no time!’Aunt Jetty yelled.

On a wall nearby was a box with a fire axe in it. Aunt Jetty smashed the glass and grabbed the axe.

‘What are you doing?’ Postie cried.

‘Out of my way, you mail mangler!’ Aunt Jetty yelled. ‘I’ll chop the snake’s head off and slit it up the middle!’

‘But you can’t do that!’ Postie said. ‘He’s a valuable snake!’

Aunt Jetty raised the axe over her head and, as she did, Postie Paterson grabbed her arms.

‘Let go of me or I’ll chop your head off, too!’Aunt Jetty screamed.

‘There has to be a better way!’ Postie pleaded.

‘Postie’s right!’ Mrs Trifle cried. ‘You’ll hurt the boys!’

Selby was watching this drama from a distance when he suddenly noticed Willy and Billy peeking out of the bushes nearby.

‘Look at Mummy!’ Willy whispered. ‘She’s going to chop that dumb old snake!’

‘She thinks we’re in his tummy!’ Billy giggled. ‘That’s so funny!’

‘Why, you dirty guys!’ Selby said. ‘You’re going to let your mother kill that snake?’

‘It’s a stinky snake,’ Billy said. ‘We don’t care.’

Selby’s mind raced as he watched Aunt Jetty knock Postie out of the way.

‘What can I do?’ he thought. ‘I don’t want her to kill Midnight. Okay, so I don’t exactly love snakes but it’s not his fault all this happened. I’m just going to have to talk. I’ll have to give away my secret. No, wait just a slithering second!’

As Aunt Jetty raised the axe again, Selby put on his best high-pitched squeaky Willy voice. ‘Mummy! Billy and me are over here! The snake didn’t eated us.’

Everyone looked in Selby’s direction. Aunt Jetty lowered the axe.

‘That dog talked!’ someone said, pointing to Selby. ‘It’s a talking dog! I can’t believe it!’

‘Don’t be silly!’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘That was Willy’s voice. The boys must be in those bushes!’

‘Quick, hide!’ Billy whispered.

Selby saw Willy and Billy creep through the bushes, leap up onto a bench and then over a wall.

‘Those low-down little brats!’ Selby thought. ‘They’re getting away!’

Suddenly the air was filled with bloodcurdling screams.

‘My babies!’ Aunt Jetty cried, running towards the wall. ‘What have they done to my precious boys!’

Everyone rushed to look over the wall and the sight that met Selby’s eyes brought a smile to his lips.

Willy and Billy were huddled on the ground of the porcupine enclosure, crying and screaming in pain.

Aunt Jetty leaned over and lifted them out.

‘Thank goodness I’ve found you, my little darlings. Heavens! What are all those things in your bottoms?’

‘We fell on the pork pies,’Willy whimpered.

‘Yeah, and it really hurts,’ Billy cried, with tears running down his cheeks.

Suddenly there was a shout. ‘Something’s happening with the snake!’

Midnight’s long thick body was heaving and twisting, his jaws gaping open. Slowly, two big things came out of his mouth.

‘Goodness me!’ Dr Trifle exclaimed. ‘A couple of my Wom-Bins!’

‘Oh me, oh my,’ Selby said with a sigh as he headed for home at last. ‘What a day! Wom-Bins, a huge snake and now Willy and Billy with their bottoms full of porcupine quills. Isn’t life fun?’

It was a perfect Christmas morning after a wonderful Christmas Eve.