Saving Georgia (9 page)

It was like slow motion, we locked eyes and I see him walking straight towards me. It was like a scene from a music video, and all I could do is stare because I am so captivated.

“Will Dailey?” I ask.

“Yes.” Jason nods, and wraps his arms around me to dance, singing the lyrics to Rise. “
I’m not in love, but I do think I have tried. It costs too much; I don’t have the money or the time
.”

“Is this supposed to have some romantic connotation embedded in this that I am not getting?” I ask in pure wonder.

“I’m not big into love or romance but I’m willing to find out. I’ve been thinking, and seeing you so close to Shane, well, I don’t like it.” Jason says, pulling me close to him.

“Oh. I…” I start, baffled. “I’ve never done this type of thing before, and frankly the notion of it both excites and frightens me.” I can’t even look him in the eye.

“We can be scared together. Do you think I honestly loved Harper? Harper doesn’t love Harper.” Jason tells me, while swaying me from side to side.

“Why would you want me? I’m not beautiful like Harper or Jenn, and I’m one messed up chick. I mean, honestly you can have any girl you want.” I felt like that was just regurgitated out of me, something I was holding back for a while.

“I can have any girl I want huh?” Jason says, holding me at arms length, waiting for my response I think.

“I would most certainly think so.”

“OK. Then I want you. You said I can have any girl I want, well, I want you. And for the record Georgia, you’re ten times hotter than Harper.” He says before pulling me into him.

I laugh so hard, I think my cheeks would burst.

“What’s so funny?” Jason asks me, sounding genuinely puzzled.

“You think
I’m
hotter than Harper Kelly.” I cackle, still trying to control my laughter.

“I’m not sure if you’ve noticed or not, but she’s not exactly the worlds nicest person, and frankly that takes away from her attractiveness.”

“Oh. I see.” I said, as I slinked deeper into his embrace. I felt like we were floating and just soaring across the kitchen floor. Two people who know nothing about love, afraid to see what tomorrow brings, but eager to feel the warmth of the others body. There’s no kissing, just touching and holding, and that’s everything that I need, cradled and rocked like a baby wanting to sleep. I smell his natural musk, and lemon-minty breath. I feel his lips resting against my head. His eyelashes tickle my skin, along with his hint of a five o’clock shadow while my fingers dance and find the soft part of his neck where it meets the collar bone. Two people, two souls wanting to find out about love are tainted with their own restraints; are now dancing and thinking about breaking down walls.

“Let’s go sit down.” Jason croons in our little zero-space.

“OK.” I nod, and we made our way to the living room. We sat there for a good while, my head on his shoulder, his hands in my hair and that’s when I jolted up.

“Shane!” I call out, and run after my best friend. I found him in the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you.” I apologize.

“Sweetie it’s fine, I’m just talking to a few of the guys.” Shane assures me, and I am shocked at his cool demure.

“Really? Come sit with me.” I plead, knowing I will get my way.

“OK.” Shane says, and we walk hand in hand.

Once we entered the living room I spot Harper, and she straddles Jason and all but does him right there in front of everyone. It must have been about 3 seconds that I saw but it was enough.

“Shane, do you remember when I said there was just one thing that could make me walk away? I was wrong, there’s two.”

I dropped his hand and walked to the front door. Once I got outside I made a mad dash for anywhere but here.

“Georgia!” I hear my name, but I’m not sure who it is. Shane? Jason? Jenn?

“Georgia stop!”
Stop
?
Why would I stop
? “Georgia, wait!”
Wait?
Wait for what?
I’m done waiting. I’m just done, and I can’t handle things like this. I’m not wired right, and this is just an allover malfunction.

I ran into the woods, deep into the brush, looking for something that I probably won’t ever know what it is even if I found it; I’d discard it as something useless when it could be the one thing that keeps me alive. What use is a dream, when even the possibilities are shattered? I can’t escape this god awful noise, and then I realized it’s me, sobbing. I found this cliff over the Neuse River and the thought occurred to me to end it all. J
ust jump, maybe it’ll kill you and it’ll be over.

“Georgia stop!” I hear, and before I can turn around I am pulled into big familiar arms. “You lovely, stupid girl. You can’t do that.”

“Shane. I was hoping it was you.” I said, feeling more of a zombie than a human. “I just want all this pain to end. Jason, and Cecil, I don’t know what I was thinking, I can’t even…”
‘think straight’ is what I wanted to say, but the sentence never finished.

“You need to calm down and relax. Don’t worry about any of that, because none of that is worth your time.” Shane assures me.

“No, I’m not worth anyone’s time.” I push between clenched teeth.

“Yes you are. And besides, you still owe me. You can’t do anything until that debt is paid.”

“Fair point well made, sir.” I sigh. “What is it that I can do for you?”

“Go to prom with me. I want to go, and I don’t have a date.” Shane says holding me tighter.

“Seriously? That’s your life saving approach? Prom?” I laugh.

“I don’t care how cheesy it is, as long as it works.”

“OK, prom. We can do prom.” I say, calming down, and burying myself deep against his skin.

“Georgia, let’s sit.” Shane says pulling me as far away from the Neuse River as possible. “Can we talk?” He says, trying to lead me into discussion.

“OK. We can talk Shane.”

“I want to know the deal with Cecil. I don’t want to hear anymore second hand stories. You’re an important part of my life, and I feel like I deserve to know.”

“I know, and you do it’s just so hard… so hard to talk about it.” I plead.

“Georgia, please… it hurts me just as bad as not knowing, as it does for you having been through it.”

“Well… OK.” I started. Some things you never know what to say, when you have everything to say. How do you explain something so horrible, so tragic, and so dark with someone you love? “You know he was my mother’s second husband right?”

“Yeah, I know that.” Shane says, stroking my arm. It makes it so much easier that I don’t have to look into his face.

“Well, after my mom died, he started sneaking into my room at night. That’s where it started. I know now that he wasn’t sober or clean. It was touching at first, but then it progressed. If I fought back, which I did at first, it became more and more violent. He hit me over the head with a lamp once.” I told him, with tons of hesitation.

Shane gasped and his clench on me became tighter.

“Then it got even worse. He started locking me in the basements. There are times that I know I went days without food or use of a restroom. Finally the cops came and saved me. But that’s the gist of it. I can go into graphic details but I think that’s unnecessary and vulgar.”

“Georgia, I’m so sorry. I’ll never let that happen to you again. I promise you.”

“It’s fine, honestly. That’s really sweet of you.” I lean my head against his neck, breathing in the deep smell of home to me. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Anything.” Shane says with the most sincerity in his voice that I have heard in a long, long time.

“When do we develop our sense of humanity?” I ask him.

“Hmm?” Shame responds, confused.

“Like, Cecil. And Harper, on a less dramatic note neither of them seem to have a sense of humanity. How do we develop it and why do some people not have it at all?”

“I see what you mean, and frankly I have no idea.” Shane says, rubbing my arm to see if I am cold. “Let’s get you home sweetie. It’s late and you’ve had a long day. “

“OK.” I can’t afford the energy to waste to fight him on this.

We walked back to the main road, and I see my car there and not his. “Where’s your truck?”

“Probably back at your house. Jenn drove it home. Your car is faster on these back roads. And not blocked in.”

“Ah, got you.”

Shane runs up and slides across my hood to the drivers side, like Bo Duke, and opens the car door for me from inside.

“OK. You’re driving. I won’t put up a fight.” I said, slouching down in the passenger seat. “Shane, can you do me a favor?”

“What’s up beautiful?” Shane asks, turning the engine over.

“Stay with me tonight?” I beg, like a little kid asking for a bedtime story.

“I won’t have it any other way.” He says. And just like that, I fall asleep.

The light broke in in ember colors, strewn across my face like a violent forest fire. It was hotter in my room than normal, and my body is beaded with sweat. I smell god awful and my limbs ache like crazy. My feet feel filthy and gritty, and there are leaves in my hair. I tried to sit up, and that’s when I noticed Shane sleeping in my bed. Quickly I took an inventory to make sure that my chastity was still mine. Are my clothes on? Check. Are his clothes on? Double check. OK, we are good.

“Good morning, stink face.” Shane says, rolling over, giving me a once over, I guess to assess my mental status. Gosh, last night must have been real.

“Morning to you too, Shane,” I say, sitting up. “I didn’t scream at night did I?” I ask, ashamed of myself.

“No, not at all, I mean, you snored so loud I think it could have woken the devil, but that’s it.” Shane says, pinning himself up on an elbow.

“I do not snore!” I scoff, throwing a pillow at him.

“I’ll record you one night. It’s a miracle you can talk, let alone sing.” Shane laughs at me. “And I was quite the gentleman. I kept to myself, and made sure you were ok.”

“Thank you.” I smile.

There’s a knock at the door, and it opens a crack.

“Georgia?” Jenn asks to see if I am awake.

“Come in Jenn. I’m awake.” I said, stretching out, and sitting up in bed.

“How are you, Georgy?” Jenn asks.

“I’m good.” Jenn says, holding an ice pack on her hand.

“What did you do to your hand?” I demand, getting mad because I already know the answer.

“Ask Harper Kelly’s left eye” Jenn says, with this coy smile pinned in the corner of her mouth.

“Jennifer Radley Hyde!”I scoff at her.

“She had it coming and you know it!” Jenn spits out in bits of laughter.

“Shoot yeah she did. I’m proud of you Jenn.” Shane hollers, sitting up and instantly putting his hat back on his head.

“Mom and Dad are in the mountains this weekend. They left this morning, and they have no idea about anything about last night and I am thinking we can all agree to keep this hush hush.”

“Sounds good to me,” I agree, with no hesitation. “Breakfast at the Shiny Diner in Clayton?” I ask.

“I’m in.” Jenn says, readjusting her ice pack.

“I’m driving.” Shane says, standing up.

“I’m not going to argue.” I put my hands up to show defeat.

“Good. I’ll see you downstairs.” Shane says, walking by Jenn and I.

“So I know that Shane has slept over in your bed as kids, but was it different this time?” Jenn asks, now that we are alone.

“Yes, but not in the way you’re thinking Jenn.” I scorn her. “He’s my rock, and my guardian angel. It’s nothing like that.”

“Mmmhmm, you’ll see.” Jenn says, looking at me with this ‘I know more than you’ look plastered on her face.

“OK, whatever wraps this conversation up.” I said in defeat.

“Let’s go. I’m buying.”

“I’ll be down in a minute, I just want to rinse off in the shower. I’ll be quick.”

I hopped right in and made it as quick as possible. I didn’t want to go out smelling like a musky gym sock, and my hair looks like night of the living dead.

I ran from the bathroom to my room to get ready, and I ran right into Shane in... my bedroom.

“Shane!” I scream. I can feel the crimson pooling in my cheeks from pure embarrassment.

“Georgia, oh my God, I’m so sorry.” Shane said, turning as red in the face as I sure I am by now.

“Get out!” I shriek.

Shane ran out with his head down as fast as his feet could take him, and I slammed the door as hard as I could behind him.

Never had I been more embarrassed in my life.
Oh my gosh, he just saw me naked!
Naked
! I scampered to get dressed as fast as possible. I threw on some shorts and a tank top. I found my old flip flops and a camo John Deere hat. That’ll do.

I ran down the stairs and out into the truck. I hopped in next to Shane and was bound and determined to keep my eyes forward, while Jenn slid in next to me.

“Dalton, let’s go.” I said, trying to keep my cool.

“Kay.” He said, turning the engine over.

“What’s your beef?” Jenn asked.

“Nothing,” Shane and I said in unison.

“Yeah, uh huh, not buying it.” Jen said, looking out the window. She knows when I’m being elusive even when she can’t see my face.

“Drop it Jenn.” I asked.

“Yeah, let’s just not talk about it.” Shane said. “Ever.” As he looked at me, head to toe.

“Eyes on the road, partner.” I scold him, turning bright red again. Butterflies started swarming in my stomach.

Jenn whipped her head around and got real sassy “He saw you naked.” She accosted me. “You saw her naked, didn’t you? You saw her when she was coming out the shower?” Jenn accuses Shane.

“No, well…” I started.

“Yeah, I definitely saw her naked.” Shane admits, with a stupid boy smile on his face.

“I knew it!” Jenn says, throwing her hands in the air. “Oh that’s hilarious!”

“Jenn!” I shout, throwing my hands in the air in disgust. “I know it was an accident but dang it, I am still mad as fire!”

“I’m sorry Georgia. I promise it won’t change anything.” Shane says, looking me in the face this time.

“Better not, Shane.” I hiss.

“Simmer your butt down, everything is all cool. Besides, what is a little nudity between friends? We used to take baths together when we were kids!” Shane assures me

“That was before.” I mutter between pouted lips.

“Before what?” Shane asks as if it’s a completely ridiculous question.

“Puberty!” I blurt out.

“Oh yeah, that.” Shane laughs. “So? You had the birds and the bees talk right?” Shane laughs. For some reason this is hilarious to both Shane and Jenn. Am I the only one not finding this humorous?

“Jenn, it’s over and done with, just move past it. It’s all good.” Jenn tells me, patting me on the leg.

“Alright, fine. I’m still not happy but I’ll move past it.”

Once we got into Clayton, the Shiny Dinner is only a mile or two in. We finally got there and thankfully the place wasn’t too busy. We got a booth in the back and the woman who knows Mrs. Hyde was even working. The waitress greets us and takes our orders.

Our breakfast was full of great food, laughter and nostalgia. The walk down memory lane was amazing, and I hadn’t felt so free, and happy like this in a while.

“I have the best idea!” Shane calls out in between mouthfuls of eggs and bacon. “Let’s drive up to White Lake.”

“Oh that does sound like fun! I have a date later, but he can pick me up from there.” Jenn says.

“A date?” I ask

“Football player I met last night.” Jenn says, looking at Shane. “He is nice, thank you.”

“Whoa whoa whoa!” I call out, “you didn’t tell me any of this yet.” I rant, staring her right in the face.

“You weren’t ready to talk yet.” She says in a cowardly voice.

“OK, fair point well made.” I say, backing down. “But OK, so… White Lake?”

White Lake is a decent sized lake in North Carolina, located in Bladen County. It’s about an hour drive. The town itself is only about 2.5 miles long. It has a beach and a pier, but that’s about it. It looks almost magical, there are tons of trees, and cottages around the area. There’s also a water park that’s fun, but the real fun is in the lake. The water is so beautiful and welcoming.

The drive was fun and carefree. Everyone was laughing, including me, and it was such a welcomed distraction. Once we got there, the first thing we did was put our toes in the water. I was so glad I decided to go with shorts. We played Frisbee for a good bit, just the three of us. We walked a good portion of the shoreline, and when it came time for lunch, we found this little place that had fried chicken and catfish. We got a to-go bag and sat on the pier and ate.

“Jenn, was that my phone that just went off?” I asked her.

“I don’t know, maybe?” She says, shrugging her shoulders.

“Where is it?” I ask. I hadn’t seen it since the party last night.

“Ummm,” Jenn starts, with her mouth full. “In my purse?” She says, like it’s more of a question than an answer.

“Can I have it please?” I ask.

“Georgia, I don’t know.” Jenn says, looking hurt and sincere.

“What? Why?” I ask her, angry and frustrated. Why couldn’t I have my phone?

“He’s been calling you all day. And texting.” She starts. “I just don’t know if you’re ready for all of that.”

“OK. You’re right. I’m definitely not ready for that yet.” I confess. “Just put it up in Shane’s truck will you? I don’t want to keep hearing it.” I ask, and without any restraint she gets up and heads out to the truck.

“It’s unlocked Jenn. Just shove it in the glove box.” Shane calls out behind her. “Are you going to talk to him?” Shane asks.

“I don’t know. I just don’t think it’s worth it. I mean, it was fun and I do like what little I do know about him, but the extra baggage…” I start, “like I am one to talk, I know. I just have enough of my own that I don’t need to deal with Harper Kelly anymore in my life than what is necessary.” I confess.

“I think that’s smart. But, is that what your heart is telling you?” He asks me, without looking at me, as if he is ashamed of something.

“I’ve stopped listening to that a long time ago, Shane.” I admit, staring at my feet, dangling in the water.

“Georgia, you need to always listen to your heart if you ever want to get out of this slump.” He says, inching closer to me and draping his arm around my shoulders. “What is your heart telling you?” He asks, looking down at my feet in the water, he grasps my hand with his free arm “Just listen, what does it say?”

“I don’t even know my heart and I speak the same language. I don’t know Shane. I want to see if I could love someone, if I could love him and that would be nice, but even if I could where does that lead me down the line? What about college? I’m going to ECU and I have no idea where he is going or what we would do then? I would like to get married one day, but I don’t know if he does, or if he wants kids! I don’t even know if I want kids.” I ramble, trying to make sense of all of this.

“Don’t worry about all that, that will sort itself out. What do you want now?” Shane asks, looking me straight in the eye.

“Ice cream,” I say.

“Ice cream?” Shane asks, confused.

“That is what I want, right this moment.” I say, looking at him in the face. I know he hates the idea of me and Jason together, and I don’t even know how I feel about it either, but it is my decision. Maybe I should give Jason the benefit of the doubt, but then I could be opening myself up for more heartache and pain which I cannot afford to withstand. Why must things be so gosh darn complicated?

“Ice cream it is,” Shane says lifting himself up onto the pier and offers me his hand to help me up.

“Where are y’all going?” Jenn asks, as she sees us heading to the truck.

“Georgia wants ice cream,” Shane says, looking straight ahead, without even losing a step.

“And here we go.” Jenn says, falling suit behind us.

We went to some fast food joint and each got a cone. We sat outside because the weather is just that nice.

“Why do I always get thirsty after ice cream?” I wondered out loud.

“There’s salt in it,” Shane laughs.

“I thought you knew that Georgy?” Jenn asks me.

“Oh like you knew!” I joke with her, and we both laugh.

“We hadn’t hung out like this in a long time.” Jenn says, smiling to herself.

“Well, that’s because you’ve always been with Harper Kelly.” I answered with a quickness.

“Yeah, I don’t think that is going to be happening anymore.” Jenn says, sounding almost too pleased with herself.

“Violence isn’t the answer.”

“I know. You’re right. She just had no right to do what she did. She hurt you, and she hurt Jason in the process.”

“How did she hurt Jason?” I asked. I felt a small pit in my stomach.

“Jenn…” Shane said, almost as if trying to make her proceed with caution.

“She just jumped on him and all that other stuff to get you mad. Obviously it worked, but he didn’t want any part of it.”

“Seriously?” I ask eagerly, this could change my mindset.

“Georgy, would I lie to you?” Jenn asked me, with a stern look.

“No, I don’t think you would.” I said, under my breath.

“Calm down, Georgia.” Shane says, resting his arm on my hips.

“Hey, I’m cool.” I said, defensively. “You relax, butt munch.” I said, shoving a gentle elbow into his side. Shane pretends to be hurt and grabs his side.

“So lady like,” Shane quips, with a gentle laugh.

“He at least deserves for you to hear him out.” Jenn says, reaching her hand out for mine. “Just make sure you know what you really want first.”