Proving Paul's Promise (23 page)

I will. I really, really will.

Paul

It’s the middle of the night, and I can’t sleep. Friday has been gone for five days. Sure, I know where she is. Henry called me. But he also warned me that he would bash my head in with a baseball bat if I dared to even knock on his door. He’s a sweet old man, but I think he was serious.

I know Friday has talked to Emily and Reagan, and she had lunch with Matt one day this week. But none of them would tell me what happened or what was said. They’re all fucking traitors in my book.

Friday hasn’t even been to work all week. I have no idea what she’s doing, but she’s not talking to me, that’s for damn sure. I deserve it. I know I do. I should have talked to her instead of taking the choice out of her hands. She’s a fucking adult. I should have waited for her to say she was ready. She had opened up to me about her kid and my fucking heart soared and I knew she had a problem. I thought I could solve it. But I should have let her do it herself. She has every right to be mad. I just hope she settles it soon because I miss her like crazy.

Not having her in my shop every day makes me feel like somebody has stolen my heart right out of chest. She’s not flitting around, charming people, or drawing anything beautiful that makes my customers smile.

She’s just gone.

I pull out my phone and text her really quickly.

Me:
Hayley has a recital tomorrow. She wants to know if you’re coming.

I wait with my fingers poised over the phone.

Nothing. I get nothing.

I lay it down on the bed and pound my fist into my pillow, jamming it into a ball beneath my head.

Suddenly, my phone dings, and I reach for it like I’m an addict reaching for a fix.

Her:
Don’t use Hayley as collateral.

Me:
I’ll use anything I can.

Quiet. No response.

Me:
Please forgive me. Come back home.

Her:
I don’t think that’s a good idea.

Me:
I think it’s the best idea I’ve ever had.

Her:
What time is her recital?

Yes! Thank God!

Me:
Seven. Will you come?

Her:
I’ll come. But only because Hayley asked me to.

I take a deep breath because I suddenly can. I feel like the belt that was wrapped around my chest just loosened.

Me:
I’ll take you however I can get you.

She doesn’t send more messages and my eyelids are getting heavy, so I send one last message.

Me:
I’ve been taking care of people my whole life. My job was to solve everyone’s problems and make sure that everything was okay. You weren’t my responsibility, and I should have realized that. I want you to be my equal, not someone I have to take care of. I promise not to do that again. And when I make a promise, I mean it. I’ll talk to you and listen when you talk. I won’t always do what you want. But I’ll try not to steamroll you again.

She’s not going to reply. I knew that before I sent the message. I tuck my phone under my pillow, just in case she does, and I close my eyes. I dream about her red lips and that perfect smile. And for the first time all week, I don’t wake up grasping for something I don’t have.

Friday

Henry keeps strange hours. It’s two in the morning, and he’s down in his shop working on clocks. Faith was here until around midnight working with him until her husband, Daniel, came to take her home.

I skip down the stairs and stop at the bottom. Henry has spread out pieces of a clock, and the tiny gears are all over the table in front of him.

He grins at me and shakes his head. “My Nan used to skip down those stairs just like that. She brought me coffee and snacks because I sometimes got so engrossed in my work I forgot to eat.”

“What are you working on?” I ask, handing him a cup of coffee.

He takes a sip and smiles at me over the rim. “Thanks,” he says. His eyes twinkle. He motions to what’s in front of him. “This clock is not cooperating,” he says. “It’s a stubborn bastard, but I refuse to let it win.” He laughs and picks up a tiny gear and shows it to me. “Do you see that? Sometimes it’s the smallest things that can set off a whole slew of symptoms. You have to dig really deep to find it, and you almost have to dismantle the whole thing. But if you’re willing to dig deep enough, you’ll almost always get there.”

He starts to put the clock back together. He’s wearing thick magnifying glasses that make his eyes look huge.

I sit down beside him and pick my feet up, spinning my chair in a circle like a child. He shakes his head. “Faithy used to do that when she was little. She still does, when she’s in a quirky mood. It’s usually a signal that she wants to talk.”

I lean forward, rest my elbow on the counter, and put my chin on my upturned palm. “What do you miss the most, Henry?” I ask softly.

He doesn’t even look up. “I miss the noise,” he says. “My Nan used to chatter like a magpie. She talked all the time. The woman never shut up. I used to have to kiss her so that I could get her to be quiet long enough to get a word in edgewise.” He takes a deep breath. “Yes. I miss the noise the most.” He looks up at me finally, and smiles. “It’s been really nice having you here this week,” he says. “A little noise in the house is a good thing.”

“Thank you for letting me hide out.”

He snorts. “Let me guess. It’s time for you to go back to your family.”

A smile tips the corners of my lips. “Paul just texted me.”

His brow arches. “Oh yeah?” He grins. “What did he have to say?”

“He pretty much said he’s a dumbass and he won’t be one again.”

Henry laughs.

My voice goes quiet. “He really said he’s been taking care of people his whole life, and it’s always been his job to solve everybody’s problems. It’s a hard habit to break.” I spin my chair around again. “What do you think?”

“I think he loves you.” He looks up and shrugs. “That’s all I think. He loves you. You love him. That much is obvious. What else do you need to know?”

I draw in a deep breath and spin.

“You need to know he won’t leave you? That he won’t betray you? That he won’t leave you all alone? That he’ll love you until the end of time?”

I stop spinning, but I can’t open my mouth because everything in my head seems stupid, even to me.

Henry lays his tools down. “I’ll tell you one thing. I’d take five minutes with my Nan over never having had her at all. If I had five wonderful minutes and then it all went to hell, I’d remember the five minutes just as much as the part that was shot to hell.”

I watch him. He doesn’t look sad.

“People keep the bad things in their heads, but let me tell you, pretty lady, when you’re as old as me, you learn to shove all that shit to the back of your mind and relive the good times. All the five minutes are what stick in your head. They give you strength. They keep you going.”

“I’ve been stupid, haven’t I?”

He shakes his head. “You’ve been careful.”

I bared my soul to Henry that first night he brought me home with him. We never did watch a movie. We sat up for hours, and he listened to my whole story. I told him things I never told anyone. I told him things I didn’t even know were buried deep in me until they started to roll out my mouth.

“Paul has been raising kids since he was one,” Henry tells me. “He grew up quick. But inside, he’s still a stupid young man, just like all of us are at one time.” He grins. “And you can tell him I said so.”

“He hasn’t even tried to come and see me once.”

Henry’s face flushes. “That might be my fault.”

“What do you mean?”

“I might have threatened his life with a baseball bat.” He scratches his bald head.

“Henry,” I scold, but I like that he’s taking care of me. I like it a lot, and it makes me feel all warm inside.

“You needed time to get through all that crying.” He waves a hand through the air as though he’s brushing a bug from his face.

“I think I might go home soon. What do you think?”

“I think that’s the best idea I’ve heard all week.” He grabs the edge of my chair and spins it for me, and I laugh as I go around in a circle.

“Do you want to be my date for Hayley’s recital?”

He rubs his hands together. “Can’t wait. Little girls tripping over one another wearing funny shoes and little, fluffy skirts. What could be better?”

I get up and press a kiss to Henry’s weathered old cheek. “I wish you were my grandfather, Henry,” I say to him.

“Someday, when you get married, I get to walk you down the aisle. So reserve my space.”

“You got it, Henry.”

I go and pack my things because, very soon, I’m going home.

###

Henry and I make a stop on the way to the place where the recital is being held. My nerves are right on the surface as I ring the bell. Henry puts his hand on my shoulder. “Chill, dudette,” he says. He grins. “Did I say that right? I learned it from Pete.”

I shake my head. “You really shouldn’t repeat what Pete says, Henry. It’s not healthy.” I laugh at his crestfallen expression.

The door opens, and Jacob stands in the doorway. His mom is right behind him. Jacob sees Henry and steps behind Jill’s leg, and he wraps his arms around it, hiding his face.

Henry reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out a piece of candy. He holds it out to Jacob. He looks up at his mom, and she nods. He reaches out and takes the candy, and Henry has made a friend for life that quickly.

“Thank you for letting me take him,” I tell Jill.

“Thank you for calling. I was worried that we would never see you again after Saturday.” She blows out a heavy breath.

“You can call me if you get worried,” I say. “I promise to keep my phone on.”

“I have a date planned,” she whispers loudly and dramatically. “I sincerely doubt I’ll call you for anything. But you can call me if you need me.”

I hold out a hand to Jacob, and he fits his tiny one into mine. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. He still doesn’t know who I am. He thinks I’m just a friend of Hayley’s, and he wants to go with me to watch Hayley dance. He has no idea that he grew inside my body, that he’s a part of me. But I’m closer to being able to tell him than I have ever been.

I take the bag that Jill hands me, and she bends down and kisses Jacob on the forehead. She lingers over him, and I’m guessing she’s taking in that little-boy scent just like I did at the park.

But then she steps back, waves to us, and we walk off hand in hand. My son has his hand in mine and we are walking down the street together like we’re just two people walking down a fucking street.

Henry dances a jig on the sidewalk beside us, and he teaches it to Jacob on the way to the auditorium. By the time we get there, they have become fast friends as they dance side by side. Jacob giggles, and Henry guffaws, and I am so damn happy that I could just burst.

Then I see Paul.

Paul

I look out at the audience through the curtain on the stage.

“She here yet?” Matt asks from over my left shoulder. He sets his chin on it and looks out, his face really close to mine.

“Get the fuck off my shoulder,” I grouse.

He steps back. “I guess that’s a no,” he says. “She told you she was coming, right?”

I nod. “For Hayley, though. Not for me. Because I made her feel guilty.”

“Hey, whatever works,” he says. He grins at me.

“Fuck you,” I say.

Hayley runs up to me from across the room and tugs on my pant leg. She holds out her hair bow. “My bow fell out.”

“Where’s your mother?” I ask.

She points toward the audience, and I see that Kelly is sitting with her fiancé. She looks anxiously toward the stage, her foot tapping.

I take the hair bow and fix Hayley’s hair, clipping it into place. I am a dad, but dads can fix hair. I just wanted her to find her mother so that I could keep looking for Friday. But I quickly realize how selfish that is and do what needs to be done. I’ve been fixing Hayley’s hair since she was a baby, and I still do it now, particularly when something goes wrong. Fuck gender stereotypes. Dads rock.

I know I give Matt a hard time about turning in his man card, but the true definition of manhood is doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done. It doesn’t matter if it’s fixing hair, changing the oil in the car, or washing dishes. If it needs to be done, it gets done. That’s manhood. It’s instilling in our daughters that dads can and will do anything that needs to be accomplished.

I want to be the be-all and end-all when it comes to my daughter. I want to be the man that every other man has to look up to. I will treat her like a princess because if I don’t, she might go out and latch on to the first man who does. So yeah, I open car doors and I take her on dates and I buy her flowers for no reason. Because I want her to know she’s worthy of all of those things. And I fix hair.

I pop her on the bottom, and she scowls at me before she smiles and runs back over to her friends. They’re all dressed in pink tights, tutus, and pink leotards. They have pink hair bows, and it’s like a pink elephant threw up all over the room. Except it’s really busy pink. Really busy. They’re so excited that they’re spinning around the room. Pink in motion.

I hear the dance teacher get up to start her first speech. Matt looks at me and wrangles his two girls—they’re also dressed in pink and performing tonight—into the groups where they’re supposed to be. I shift the edge of the curtain and look out. Then I see her, and my heart fucking stops.

Friday is sitting with Reagan and Emily. And next to her is Henry. On her other side is… Who is that? Oh my fucking God. That’s Jacob. My heart soars, and I feel almost giddy. She brought her son. She brought Jacob. That must mean that things are going well.

“Is that him?” Matt asks from right beside my shoulder. His chin is almost resting on my shirt, and I don’t try to move him away.

“You know?” I ask.

He nods. “I’ve always known.”

“What?” The breath that I was holding escapes me in a rush.