Playing with Fire (16 page)

Once she left, things could get back to normal around here…whatever normal was. He could admit he’d miss having her at the bar. They’d slipped back into making the hours pass faster when they worked together, just like in high school at their mothers’ restaurant. At least up until the last few days and his resolution to put distance between them.

As if he’d conjured her, he spotted her walking up the bar’s concrete stairs from the beach. His eyes locked on her against his will. She couldn’t see him yet so he watched her.

He nearly swallowed his tongue as she came closer. She wore a bikini with a wrap around her hips, showing off her flat, sexy middle and allowing him the best view he’d ever had of her breasts, excluding when they’d been bare in her bedroom. The modest orange-and-yellow top left very little to his imagination, but his imagination was on overtime, anyway. His first thought was why in the hell had she been hiding all these years? His body responded without his permission, and he was glad for the counter standing between him and the rest of the world.

On the heels of his initial
wow
was the conviction that she was showing too much to the rest of the world. Several men noticed her and Derek had the primal urge to battle each one of them.

He didn’t have the right to compliment her
or
protect her. Best-case scenario for her would be someone else protecting her from
him.

Today was the hurrah.

As she moved the short distance from the doorway to the bar, she became aware of people watching her. Two or three men followed her with their eyes, and she felt exposed in her swimsuit and sarong. She should’ve kept her tank on but she’d flown out of her apartment in a hurry and, okay, maybe had hoped showing some skin would affect Derek. He couldn’t be totally numb to her—not the way he’d reacted when they’d kissed. At the time she’d had no doubt he was just as into it as she was, but now, days later, she was unsure. Insecure. But who could fault her after his latest rejection?

When she zeroed in on Derek, his eyes were glued to her, making her breath hitch. As she neared the counter, a customer standing at the bar a few feet away hollered to get Derek’s attention.

He nodded at Macey once to let her know he’d be back to her, and took the customer’s order. Charlotte waved from behind the bar but didn’t stop to chat.

Macey’s insecurity gnawed at her. How did she so easily slip back into her pre-Peace Corps self when she was around Derek? Time to buck up and be a big girl. She was absolutely confident she was doing the right thing in inviting him out.

“Hey,” he said as soon as he finished with the customer.

“Hi.” She forced a smile and did her best to make it look natural and free. “Busy day?”

“Swamped until thirty minutes ago. Hot. People are thirsty.”

“You’re working a short shift, right?”

“Yes, ma’am. You should know. You wrote the schedule.”

She caught his eyes lowering to her chest and felt encouraged. “I was wondering if you’d do me a favor….”

She saw his body tense, but wasn’t about to give up now. “I’m leaving in a few days so I figured it’s time to do some of the things I’ve been wanting to.”

“What is it, Mace?”

“I have a lesson in the art of sand castle building at four. Will you go with me?”

“I work until four.”

“I know. I’m meeting the teacher up the beach, close to your condo. You could join us as soon as you get out of here.” She silently willed him to say yes. “Please? Last crazy tourist thing I’ll ask you to do with me. Promise.”

She noticed she was holding her breath, so released it slowly as she leaned her elbows on the bar. Derek’s eyes flashed down to her cleavage again, only for a second, but it sent a current of heat straight to her core.

She was an idiot. This was going to hurt so much when she finally went back to Dallas, to the new life she’d anticipated for months. Suddenly it didn’t seem like everything she’d been looking forward to. But she’d known from the beginning that this could be difficult, she reminded herself. She still wouldn’t do anything differently if given the chance. Maybe Andie was right and she’d done Derek a little bit of good in some way. If so, it was worth the potential—make that inevitable—heartache.

“It’ll be fun. The guy is really good, Dare. What’s not to like about building a sand castle?”

“Never been the sand castle type, I guess. It’ll just wash away with the tide.”

“We’ll take pictures. You’re not going to make me do this all by my lonesome, are you?”

He glanced around and spotted a woman approaching the far side of the bar to place an order. Charlotte stepped in to help her.

“Fine,” he said. “We’ll build sand castles. I’ll meet you there.”

She smiled, this time unforced. His agreement made her want to throw her fist in the air and say “yes!” She refrained, though, and tried to play it as no big deal. He didn’t have to know she planned to extend it into a casual dinner together and maybe even a movie rental afterward.

He shook his head, the corners of his lips turning up despite his grumpy mood, she’d bet. She felt too giddy for the circumstances. But she’d won. She had a non-date with Derek. One last chance to try to make things comfortable between them and hopefully to make him laugh, remind him how to have fun.

The Sand Man had left her several tools of the trade—a brush, straw, spatula, mini shovel and chisel—as part of what she’d paid for. Her creation, a compact but detailed fortress with four towers, was almost finished. She refused to walk off and leave it without finalizing the crenellations at the top of the walls and the moat. If she had any real talent for sculpting, she would add knights and dragons to shoot anyone who came too close. Just the kind of mood she was in.

As she bent over the exterior staircase to chisel the edges, a long shadow suddenly stretched over her, blocking out the sun. She knew without looking that Derek had finally seen fit to show up. She continued working, determined to ignore him for as long as it took to get rid of him.

Forever and a half seemed to tick by and neither of them spoke. Macey didn’t even glance up to make sure it was him.

She finished the stair details and was so sidetracked by his presence she didn’t know what to do next.

The moat. She went to work squaring the sides, carving out slices of sand with one of the tools the Sand Man had taught her to use.

Derek moved at last, startling her. He sat down close to the castle, on the opposite side from where Macey was working. This put him less than three feet away from her and still she pretended to be alone, having the time of her ever-loving life carving sand out of the moat.

“Macey.” She involuntarily made eye contact, but turned away quickly, scolding herself for the automatic reaction. “I’m sorry.”

As ticked off as she was, a truckful of Hostess Cupcakes wouldn’t help his cause.

“Macey!” Louder now. He was getting mad.

Pity.

“I got caught up at the bar. The TV guy showed up to install the two televisions and I wanted to make sure everything went okay. Then I had to take the dog home.”

“Andie could’ve babysat the TV guy.”

He beat his first two fingers on his thigh. “I suppose she could have. I wanted to make sure he did it the way I wanted him to.”

Macey took her time cleaning out freshly fallen sand from the bottom of the moat. “So your TVs are more important than me.”

“Of course not.”

Her fury built like the power in a wave, deceivingly calm on the outside but ready to twist someone’s neck beneath the surface.

“It’s just a sand castle, Mace. We can build one anytime.”

She jumped to her feet, tossed her tools into her beach bag and stomped off toward her apartment. “Macey.”

She kept going, digging her feet into the sand with each step, clenching her teeth until her head throbbed.

“Dammit, Macey, wait up!”

She heard him jogging up behind her, and picked up her own pace. Seconds later, he caught her by the wrist and pulled her to a stop. Macey swung her arm away from him with all her strength. “Don’t touch me.”

“Calm down. What’s really going on here? This can’t be about learning to build a sand castle.”

She stared at him, breathing hard, trembling.

“This,” she said quietly, “is about you letting me down. You treating me like crap for the past week. You telling me you were going to do something and then flaking. Standing me up. Embarrassing me, and worse, letting me know just how important our friendship isn’t.”

“I…”

“I’ve tried, Derek. Tried to be nice, and when that didn’t go over so well, I just tried to be sympathetic and remember what you’re going through. But you know what? I don’t care what kind of grief and pain you have, nothing justifies letting your friends down.” She realized she was poking his chest as she spoke.

“I never asked for anything from you, Macey.”

“You never asked for it but you needed it. You need something, Derek, although it’s obviously something I can’t give you.” She was just short of yelling. People were starting to stare, but she didn’t care.

“I knew this wouldn’t be easy. But I thought our friendship could handle just about anything. I guess I was wrong, because I can’t try anymore. There. Have it your way. I’m done.”

Again, he caught her by the wrist, both of them, actually, and moved closer. “Macey, stop for a second. Take a breath—”

“I don’t want a breath!” She tried to whip her arms away, but this time he was prepared. Tears formed in her eyes but she couldn’t even wipe them away because he held her hands, and was much stronger than her.

“I’m sorry. I screwed up. Over and over.” He hesitated, swallowing hard while his eyes searched hers. “You’re the one person in this world I never wanted to screw up with, and now I’ve hurt you. I…” He swore to himself. “I’m sorry, Macey. So damn sorry.”

Her shoulders sagged and she suddenly felt so darn tired, as if she could sleep for a week. But she wasn’t ready to make peace with him. Didn’t have the energy. She closed her eyes until he let go of her, then she dropped to the sand, cradling her knees to her chest.

Derek sat next to her, his thigh right near hers but not quite touching. She noticed that detail but wasn’t sure how she felt about it. Didn’t know if she wanted him to touch her.

She stared out at the cresting waves, mesmerized by their rhythm. Calmed by their repetitiveness.

“I was trying to protect you,” Derek said after several minutes had passed.

Macey closed her eyes. She’d always loved Derek’s protective streak, but how treating her like garbage equated protection, she could hardly wait to hear. “What, pray tell, were you protecting me from?”

Derek chuckled humorlessly. “Some asshole who’s walking around in a fog, so wrapped up in his own problems that he doesn’t worry about anyone else.”

Macey nodded. “I’ve met the type before. Scumbags, every last one of them.”

“Complete bastards,” he agreed.

“They deserve to be burned at the stake.”

Derek cringed beside her. “Maybe we could go for a single bullet wound instead?”

“Too easy.”

He hesitated. “I don’t trust myself right now. I’m impossible to be around, and that’s why I’ve tried to distance myself.”

“I came down here knowing you’d be hard to be around, Dare.”

“I never said anything I’ve done was the right thing. Just trying to tell you where I’m coming from.”

“I never expected anything from you except common decency.”

“And I blew that.”

“Pretty much.”

“I’m working on it, Macey. I want to feel better. This grief sucks.”

That he was tired of hurting was a step. Before now, she’d gotten the impression he wanted to suffer.

“What you said about the building collapsing the other night,” he continued, “it helped.”

“Really?” She couldn’t hide her shock that anything she’d done had helped…and that he’d admit it.

“You’re right about there being some things we can’t prevent or control. It’s something we learn in the academy. Sometimes all we can ever do is react to situations to the best our training has prepared us for. There’ll be times when we do everything by the book and we still don’t win the battle.”

“This was one of those times,” Macey said quietly.

He nodded slowly, staring into the distance. “I think it was.” After a couple of minutes, he got to his feet. “Enough of this sad crap. Your castle needs finishing touches.”

Macey stood, too. “Yeah, but what do you know about sand castle building?”

“Hate to tell you this, Mace, but it doesn’t require a big fancy class with the sand god.”

“Sand Man.”

“What?”

“The Sand Man gave me my lesson.”

Derek grinned, then chuckled and shook his head.

“Come on, I’ll show you sand man.”

He held his hand out and she took it with only a momentary hesitation.

“So am I forgiven?” Derek asked as they approached the castle. “Or do I still need to grovel some more?”

“Oh, you’ll need to grovel quite a bit more. Maybe feed me later.”

“I know this great little place on the beach that serves burgers and cocktail shrimp….”

“Sorry. Too easy.”

“You drive a hard bargain, woman.”

“You have a lot to make up for.”

Derek released her hand and circled the castle, eyeing it critically. “This tower needs a remodel.”

“The tower’s fine.”

He shook his head. “And the moat looks good about halfway around. Then it gets sloppy.”

“The construction foreman was rudely interrupted by an inconsiderate jerk when she was working on it.”

“You start on the moat, sand chick, and I’ll make this tower into a…tower.”