Playing Pretend (3 page)

I raised my chin indignantly at the door, as if Caleb could see the act of defiance from behind it, and resolved to give him the notes first thing in the morning. The sound of a chair rolling back startled me, and what should have been a graceful exit ended up being the imbalanced combination of a waddle, and a power-walk. The elevators dinged, and I jumped in right before the doors shut. Luckily I was alone, so I spent the ride down to the lobby convincing myself that I’d done the right thing, rather than listen to the stupid voice in my head telling me I was a coward.

Which I absolutely was
not.

WHEN I FINALLY made it out of the building, Park Avenue was teeming with pedestrians, and I had to fall in step with them quickly before I got trampled. After making a quick stop at a Duane Reade a few blocks from the office, I decided to walk towards Fifth Avenue and catch the subway at the subway station located in Times Square. I took my time, falling in love with the effervescent metropolis that mixed old with new, and became home to a multitude of people from all walks of life. It had a culture of its own, borrowing from its inhabitants to create something completely new, and all consuming.

My thoughts were interrupted when my cell phone started ringing. I reached into my purse, and dug around until I pulled it out. The grin that took over my face was wide when I saw the caller ID and I slid my finger across the screen to answer.

“Hi Mom,” I greeted with enthusiasm. I hadn’t spoken to my mother much since I moved back to Manhattan, and the thought gave rise to a prickle of guilt.

“Hi darling.” Her voice was smooth, and cultured, and she spoke with an air that could only come from a wealthy upbringing. “I haven’t heard from you in a while, so I thought I would call and make sure you’re doing alright.”

“I’m sorry,” I replied, nibbling on my bottom lip. I stopped in front of a Pret A Manger, and moved out of the way of all the foot traffic so that I could talk to my mother before I caught the subway. “I’ve been trying to get settled, and find my feet at my new job.”

“And? How
is
it going?”

The question was innocent enough, but I knew what she really wanted to know was how it was working for
Caleb.

“I really love it,” I said, telling my mother the truth. “Everyone is really nice, and I have the best boss.”

“I’m so thrilled for you darling. I know you’re going to make such a success of yourself.” The line went quiet, and my mother hesitated before asking, “Have you seen him yet?”

I looked around, almost expecting Caleb to manifest simply because I was talking about him. “No, and I doubt I will see much of him anyway. He’s too busy, and technically I work for someone else.”

“Oh, well that’s good,” she sighed, sounding genuinely relieved. She wasn’t thrilled when I told her I had an interview at Callahan Industries, and I couldn’t blame her, but I had very few other prospects after I’d graduated.

“How have
you
been?” I asked, hoping the change of topic would help ease my mother’s worry.

Luck was on my side, because as soon as the words left my mouth my mother’s excited chatter filled my ears. She regaled me with the goings-on at my Aunt Jenna’s flower shop in North Carolina, and told me about some of the friends she’d made at her weekly group therapy sessions. Hearing her so content, and so
free
made my throat close a little, and ignited a small glimmer of hope that I too could find that.

“I have to tell you something.” My mother’s voice suddenly grew soft, and wary, her tone cautious. I frowned.

“Your father called.”

I inhaled sharply, and tried to quell the sudden panic furrowing its way into the pit of my stomach.

“When?”

“Two days ago, but all I told him was that you’re doing fine, and to stop looking for you.”

I shook my head, knowing my father would take that as a challenge more than anything else. “Do you think he’ll come back here?” I asked quietly.

“I doubt it, darling. The fact that you no longer have his last name will make it harder for him to find you.”

“But what if he comes back, Mom?” The thought was paralyzing, only because I had no desire to see my father ever again. I hadn’t seen him since I left London two years ago, and I wanted to keep it that way. He destroyed our family, but what made me loathe him with every ounce of my being was that he’d destroyed my mother. She was smart to leave him, even though she had to give up almost all of what she owned in the way of assets, and the only thing she’d left me with was a promise to help me get away as soon as I was old enough. Sadly, I stayed with my father, and older sister Katrina, until she proved herself to be just as wretched as our father. I was twenty when I realized that it was a matter of time before I became just like them, believing that it was in our nature to turn out that way. Of course, it was my sister’s betrayal of the worst kind that finally had me running out of the front door, desperate to save myself from the tyranny that had befallen my family, a family I used to love and trust.

Until I couldn’t anymore.

My mother bought me a plane ticket, and I left London in search of something better for myself. She transferred enough money to see me through a community college in Denver, but I still had to get two part-time jobs to be able to afford a place to live. I lost all the luxuries I’d grown accustomed to, but found that I was better off after making that sacrifice.

“He won’t.” My Mother sounded determined, and so sure, and I wished that I could see her then, if only to draw from her strength. “And if he does somehow manage to get in touch with you, you call me immediately. Day or night, I don’t care.”

“I hope it doesn’t get that far,” I said quietly, watching the people around me go about their days while mine took a turn down the worst of memory lane.

“Darling, you’re safe there, so please, don’t let this bother you.”

“Did he say anything about Trina?” I asked. As soon as my mind flashed to the last time I saw my sister, I regretted bringing her up.

“I cut the call before he could,” she replied with nonchalance, like writing my sister off had been easy for her. I knew it wasn’t, but I also knew that my mother had become a professional at moving on.

“You’ll let me know if he calls again?”

“Of course darling.” Her voice drifted away from the phone as she spoke to someone in the background. When she spoke again her tone had lightened, and filled with exuberance. “Sorry, that was your Aunt. She says to tell you hi, and that you’d better get you’re a-s-s here soon.”

I giggled, loving the way my mother had let go of some of her rigid etiquette. “I’m going to be busy for the next few weeks, but as soon as I can get a day off, I’ll come visit you. Promise.”

“Good, because I’ve met someone.” Her words came out in a rush, and my eyes widened in surprise.

“You have? Mom, that’s great!”

I checked my watch, and started walking again, afraid to get back to my apartment in the dark.

“You think so?” my Mother asked, sounding unsure.

“YES!” I laughed. “Is he nice? Where did you meet him?”

“His name is Byron, and we met at the clinic where I have my group therapy. His wife passed away from breast cancer three years ago, and he doesn’t have any children. We had our first date last week, and I’m seeing him again this coming weekend.”

“I’m so happy for you, Mom. You deserve it.”

And that was the truth. I wanted my Mother to find someone she could spend the rest of her life with, and show her that life was still worth living. After she’d left my father, she slipped into a terrible depression that I feared she would never escape. For months I’d secretly corresponded with my aunt, checking up on my mother, and getting updates about her therapy. Now, five years later, she sounded like the woman who had been my best friend growing up. The sentiment made my chest swell with glee.

“Thank you,” my Mother replied. I could
hear
her grin from the other end of the line. “I hope you can come visit soon, so you can meet him.”

“I’d like that.” I stopped just outside the subway station in Times Square. “Mom, I have to go, I’m about to catch the subway. I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” my mother sniffled suddenly, her voice raspy. “But I want you to know that I’m also so proud of you, Kadence.”

I swallowed the tight ball of emotions lodged in throat, and squeezed my eyes closed. “Thanks Mom. I’ll call you soon, okay?”

“Alright sweetheart. I love you.”

“Love you too. Bye.”

I ended the call, and inhaled a calming breath before descending the steps leading to the platforms. When I finally arrived home, I’d managed to clear all thoughts of my father, and my sister, and only dwelled on the contentment my Mother had finally been able to find.

I shut the door to my shoebox-sized apartment, and dropped my purse onto the floor before moving a dresser left behind by the previous tenant in front of the door. While I didn’t have enough clothes to fill it up, I was able to find another use for it. The space was so small that my bedroom, living room, and kitchen were the same room, but it was better than having to sleep in my car. After a lukewarm shower – I had a feeling I was going to have to get used to those – I went about getting my clothes ready for the next day. I washed them in the small bathroom sink, and hung them on the old shower curtain rail to dry. Mentally, I catalogued how long before I got paid my first check, and then made a mental note to look up some thrift stores in Brooklyn so that I could buy some more clothes. When my nightly ritual was done, I made myself a peanut butter sandwich, and fell onto my blow up mattress with a huff. I’d fallen a long way down in terms of where I lived, and the clothes I wore, but with a wistful sigh and the promise that it was only temporary, I told myself I had what I needed, and that’s what mattered.

SWEAT BEADED MY
forehead as I ran toward the Callahan Industries building. With my travel mug in one hand, and my purse in the other, I carefully navigated the crowded sidewalk while trying not to fall on my face in the process. After sleeping through my alarm, I was running forty-five minutes late for work, and was forced to take a cab. When we got stuck in gridlock traffic, I jumped out at Lexington Avenue and ran like a bat out of hell to the office. I crossed Park Avenue, my eyes set on the tall, glass and aluminum building in front of me.

A relieved exhalation worked its way up my throat the closer I got, but before I could let it out, I felt the heel of my shoe get caught in a crack on the sidewalk. My step faltered, and my body flew forward until I landed on my hands and knees with an unladylike ‘
oomph
’. To make matters worse, I felt the sting of hot liquid between my breasts, and on my stomach, and when I looked down I saw that my coffee had spilled down the front of my white blouse. Walkers-by grumbled their annoyance, and promptly walked around me without offering to help while I tried to gather my wits. I stood carefully, taking stock of my bedraggled appearance, and struggled for balance. Looking down, I noticed that my heel had in fact snapped.

Great.

Because falling on your hands and knees in front of a street full of strangers clearly isn’t humiliating enough.

I lifted my foot, and removed the shoe, glaring at the offending accessory as if it alone was responsible for the day I was having.

I blew a loose strand of hair from my face, and after removing my other shoe, started walking towards the entrance of the Callahan Industries building. Naturally I thought things couldn’t get any worse, but fate decided that I needed one more backhand before my workday officially started.

My gaze was downcast, and I was trying to figure out what to do about my ruined blouse when I walked into the back of another body. My arms flew out, and I sucked in a ragged breath right before my butt hit concrete.

“Shit,” I muttered unhappily, wondering if I should just call in sick and go back to bed, especially if I couldn’t even make it inside the damn building. The idea was abruptly halted when a pair of strong, warm hands gripped my upper arms and pulled me up. My mouth parted with a surprised gasp, and when I looked up, my eyes collided with a sharp, icy blue gaze.

I tensed.

“Ms. Kavanagh, are you okay?” Caleb’s voice rumbled, loud enough to shut out the other noises filling the busy streets. My wide-eyed stare was met with raised brows.

“Kadence?”

The sound of my name falling from those sinful lips was enough to drag me from my daze.

“I-I’m so sorry, Mr. Callahan. I wasn’t paying attention.”

Caleb looked me over, and his forehead creased with his frown. “You’re bleeding.”

I looked down, and saw that my knees were in fact bleeding. They stung, but I brushed it off.

“I fell. It’s nothing.”

Caleb cleared his throat, and lifted his head before moving to remove his black suit jacket. It was my turn to frown.

“What are you doing?”

Without replying, he lifted his jacket, and wrapped it around my shoulders. “Your blouse,” he explained vaguely. “It’s um…”