Now and Forever--Let's Make Love (9 page)

She was reaching for it, whatever it was, reaching for what that finger was pushing her toward. Lights. Shards of colored
lights. Closer and closer, tightening her thighs and low in her belly. Suddenly, the lights burst and showered her with brilliant
stars. She wanted to scream against his mouth, but Armand kept his lips tightly against hers, preventing her cries. She felt
him tighten, then arch his back and thrust upward, more deeply into her heat. Pulses of power flowed from him into her.

When they had quieted, he helped her to clean herself, then righted himself and his clothing. “Oh Armand,” she said softly.
“I never imagined. Is it always like that?”

“And better. So much better.”

As she calmed, she heard the sounds of the Louisiana night mixed with the distant music. She smelled the damp smell of the
nearby bayou, felt the rough texture of Armand’s jacket. It all seemed new and fresh, as if this experience had sharpened
her senses. And it could be better?

Later, hand in hand, not totally able to conceal the ravages of lovemaking, the two lovers walked back toward the house.

Charlotte sighed, looked up, and saw her husband staring down at her, that special look in his eye. “Where in the world were
you?” he asked.

“Just dreaming,” Charlotte answered. “Is the game over?”

“No,” he said, “but I’ve been dreaming myself. I’m wondering what you’re doing for the next hour or so.”

Charlotte grinned. “Why,” she said coyly, “did you have something particular in mind?”

He grinned down at her, then placed one hand on each arm of her chair, trapping her. “Actually, several somethings.”

Charlotte grabbed the front of his sweater and pulled until he dropped on top of her into the chair. “Good,” she said, “me,
too.”

3

A father and his four-year-old son were walking through the park one afternoon and they happened upon a male dog mounting
a female dog.

“What are they doing?” the little boy asked.

The father hadn’t yet thought through the matter of introducing his son to the mysteries of sex. So honestly, if a bit hesitantly,
the father answered, “Why, they’re making puppies.”

“Oh,” the small boy said.

A few nights later, the boy walked into his parents’ bedroom, intending to ask for a drink of water. He saw his mother and
father, belly-to-belly, doing what mommies and daddies do late at night.

“Whatcha doing, Daddy?” he asked.

With only a moment’s hesitation, the father answered, “We’re making babies, son.”

“Turn her over, Daddy,” the boy yelled. “I want puppies.”

I
don’t think it will come as a surprise to anyone that living with children may be the largest obstacle to a couple’s sexual
fulfillment. Somehow lovemaking appears on the priority list somewhere below shopping, cooking, laundry, cleaning, helping
the kids with their homework and only slightly above removing the crab-grass from the front lawn.

“Darling,” he says, nibbling on the back of his wife’s neck, “I’ve been thinking about you all day. How about going to bed
a bit early tonight?”

“Oh sweetheart, I’d love to,” she says, turning in his arms. “But you still haven’t folded the laundry, and I need to bake
twenty-seven cupcakes for Jennifer’s kindergarten class.” She glances at her watch. “It’s almost nine-thirty. We won’t get
to bed before eleven.”

“I know,” he says, yawning. “And the alarm goes off at five of six tomorrow morning. Maybe this weekend.”

Sound familiar?

Books and articles on sexual health urge people to work hard at sex during these stressful years. “Sure, right,” she says.
“I’m willing to try. But I work all day, take care of kids, shop, clean, and now you want me to put on a sexy negligee and
seduce my husband. All I want to do is sleep.”

Then he says, “I commute an hour each way to and from work, bust my butt to earn a decent living and support the kids. Now
I’m supposed to bring her flowers and wine?”

She says, “I used to feel like a sex object. Now I’m a typist and a mommy and there’s not much time for anything else.”

He says, “At first, my wife was passionate. Now she’s disinterested, thinking more about the kids than about me. I’m just
a wage earner.”

Finally, you manage to find time, energy, and desire for lovemaking. You’re in bed, stroking and recalling when you were lovers
instead of parents. Then a voice says, “Mommy, I don’t feel too well,” or “Daddy, I had a bad dream.” Oh well …

And the problems don’t end when the children reach school age. It can feel awkward to make love with the kids still up, watching
TV or listening to music. “What if they hear us? They’ll know what we’re doing.” Embarrassing, isn’t it?

Before we get to specifics, let’s get one thing straight. If you don’t make an effort to keep the flame alive despite the
children, you won’t have any quality sex with your partner until the kids are in college. And, for me at least, the longer
I went without good sex, or even sex at all, the less I wanted it. I seemed to forget how nice it had been and I decided that
I could easily do without.

The good news is this: It really is possible to feel less like mommies and daddies and more like lovers, even in a house that’s
filled with toys, basketballs, and computer games. Let’s consider the problems with the children and try to find some short-
or long-term solutions. Many of these will seem simplistic, and some are. But relax and think seriously about some of these
ideas, even though at first blush they might seem awkward.

Couples frequently overlook the need to set aside time for sex. They make time for relatives, for business dinners, for painting
the guest room. If they get tickets for the hottest show in town, they hire a baby-sitter and find the energy. Seldom, however,
do they make a date with each other for Saturday night.

So do it. Make a date with your husband or wife. Pick a day and time and then stick to it. No changing at the last minute
because Susie has a runny nose or Andy needs help with his algebra.

Then line up a baby-sitter. If no baby-sitter is available or affordable, arrange with grandparents, cousins, friends, or
neighbors to take care of the kids for the entire evening. If you can find a way, make plans for someone to stay with your
children all night, or, better still, take them to that person’s house until the following day. Trade an evening of caring
for your neighbors’ kids for an evening of them taking yours. Your neighbors probably need an evening alone just as much as
you two do.

Next, anticipate the evening the way you did when you were dating. Tease each other with little notes about what you’re going
to do that evening. Try not to let your mind lose the delicious anxiety. The morning of the “big evening,” tie a string around
your partner’s wrist as a reminder, so that every time he or she looks down, the vision of you naked and willing will appear.

Wear something special. Dressed in the same old jeans and shirt, you are the same old mommy or daddy. Dress up for a change,
as if it’s a special occasion, because it is! Buy something new, or borrow something sexy from a friend. Take whatever time
you can scrounge and enjoy a shower. Wouldn’t it be nice to take a bubble bath? (I’m not going to press my luck here.) Use
a new cologne or a new shampoo. Use hand lotion. Find a tape of the music the two of you used to listen to when you were dating
and put it into the player in the car.

Have a relaxed dinner at an intimate restaurant and then rent a room at a fancy hotel or the local Super 8, even if it’s just
for an hour. Share a bath and make love in front of the bathroom mirror. Make as much noise as you like. Make love with the
lights on. Make love more than once, slowly.

With two small children, Alice and Tim had neither the time nor the energy to spend on themselves, even though they had enough
money. After more than a year, they finally decided to make time for long, leisurely loving. And when they did, the results
were delightful.

Alice and Tim had twin fifteen-month-old girls. The twins were gorgeous, smart, good eaters, and easy sleepers. Alice and
Tim, however, were exhausted. An accountant, Tim worked long hours to get ahead, and Alice spent her days changing diapers,
feeding babies, and never getting a moment’s peace. By the time Tim got home and they all had dinner, bathed the babies, and
got them down for the night, both parents were ready for bed and sleep—just sleep. Once a week or so, they indulged in a quickie,
which left them feeling briefly physically satisfied but emotionally empty.

“You know, baby,” Tim said one evening as they collapsed into bed, “I miss making love. Long, luxurious, caressing, touching,
hugging, kissing love.”

“I know. Me, too. I remember it well, and I’m sure it used to be lots of fun.” Alice yawned.

“How about asking your folks to baby-sit while they’re here next weekend?”

“Oh Tim. My folks don’t get much chance to see us, and they only have this long weekend.”

“I know, but I want to spend an evening with you. Just you.”

Alice yawned again. “I’ll see whether I’m comfortable asking.”

The following afternoon, Alice called her mother, who lived about four hundred miles away. “Mom,” she said in the middle of
the conversation, “I was wondering whether you and Dad might baby-sit with the twins one evening so Tim and I can have dinner
together, just the two of us.”

Her mother’s warm voice jumped in quickly. “Of course, dear. We planned to do that all along as a surprise. We thought you
could go out Saturday evening. We’ll feed the girls so you two can do something fun for a change. And we’ll even take the
baby monitor so you won’t be bothered until morning.”

Alice shared the good news with Tim that evening and Tim agreed to make all the arrangements. Since it would be a surprise,
Tim told Alice only that she should dress up in a very fancy outfit and be ready at six o’clock sharp.

Late Saturday afternoon, Alice and Tim got dressed, hugged the girls and Alice’s parents, and walked out the front door. There,
parked at the curb, was the longest limousine Alice had ever seen. “Tim, is that for us?”

“It certainly is. Nothing but the best.”

“But a limo? That’s so expensive.”

“I want to be able to drink and get a little blitzed tonight without having to worry about driving home. So I thought this
was the best idea.”

At the sight of the couple, the limo driver trotted around the car and opened the door. The couple climbed in and found a
chilled bottle of champagne and two glasses. On the way downtown, they sipped the bubbly liquid and giggled as if they were
two teenagers on their way to the prom.

The restaurant was packed, but, thanks to Tim’s reservation, they were seated and served efficiently. By the end of the main
course, the couple had finished most of a bottle of wine Tim had selected and were relaxed and happy. “Remember that evening
we had dinner at that seafood place at the beach?” Tim asked.

Alice remembered it well and flushed.

“Would you do that again?” Tim asked.

Alice well remembered that she had gone into the ladies’ room and taken off her underwear. “Oh Timmy.” She giggled.

“Do it. For me.”

Alice walked to the ladies’ room. Glad she had worn a soft silk blouse and tight skirt, she entered a stall and took off her
bra and panties. Wearing only a garter belt, stockings, and a slip beneath her clothes, she returned to the table. Tim placed
his hand, palm up, on the table. Blushing, Alice placed her undergarments in his hand.

“That’s a good girl,” Tim said, slipping the clothing into his jacket pocket and moving beside her on the banquette. Beneath
the overhang of the tablecloth, he squeezed Alice’s knee, then slid her skirt up. As the waiter took their dessert orders,
Tim slid the tips of his fingers up the inside of her thigh and felt her shiver. With a bit of wiggling, his fingers reached
her soaking pussy and he flicked his finger over her clit.

Trying to look relaxed, Alice moved slightly and pressed her thighs together. “Timmy, please,” she said breathlessly.

Tim leaned over and blew a stream of cool air down the front of her blouse and watched her nipples tighten. “I can see your
hard little nippies through that material,” he whispered. “Does that embarrass you?”

“You know it does,” Alice said, her cheeks flushed.

“Good.”

While the two lovers ate their dessert, Tim frequently reached beneath Alice’s skirt and played with her pussy. By the time
Tim had paid the check, Alice was trembling with need. “I don’t want to go home,” she whined.

“And we won’t,” Tim said, pulling a room key for the hotel next door from his pocket. He glanced at his watch. “It’s almost
nine. The limo is due at eleven, but the driver said he’d wait as long as we needed.” Tim grinned. “He’s got three kids under
ten and is thrilled to help us with this evening together.”