Nothing Matters (Family Matters Book 1) (9 page)

"Now why would I do that?" he said leaning me back against the car, his body hovering over me, but not touching me, electricity between us switching on in an instant.  He placed his hands on the car, trapping me beneath him but still he didn't touch me.

"I don't know," I whispered, "because of Jakey."  His nearness felt suffocating, like I couldn't breathe.

"Leaving you last night was the hardest thing I ever did," he said and his nose flicked across mine.  Strangely intimate.  "But it didn't feel right to stay."

"I know," I whispered.  Though I hadn't liked it at the time I did respect his decision, I knew Jakey had upset him.

"He thinks I'm no good for you," he said, his eyes following mine.  "What do you think?"

“Jakey's wrong."  He bent in closer, his tongue flicked behind my ear, sending a delicious shiver through me.

"You don't care?  You don't care that I'm a loser from West?" He teased with another flick behind my other ear.

"I don't care," I said, "I don't give a fuck." 

He laughed loudly.  "Promise?"  Now he sounded like a thug.

"Promise.  Just kiss me Nathan," I ordered, "just kiss me now."  And he did.  He leaned in, hard, his lips ravishing mine, making me weak at the knees, but I knew we couldn't do anything there, now.  "Follow me back home," I ordered.

"To your place?"  He seemed reluctant.

"Yes."

"But your parents?"

"Fuck my parents," I said.

Later, when we were lying on my bed, after we'd casually walked through the kitchen with a hello to Dad, I said, "I didn't mean that, about fuck my parents."

"I was a bit surprised by your filthy tongue," he laughed.

"I'm still angry at Jakey," I said, the bitterness unable to dissipate.                           

"You know what, we'll prove him wrong, we’ll prove them all wrong," Nathan said, and he turned and looked at me.  "One day we'll be married,  we'll have a couple of kids, a dog and a house of our own."

"And a horse," I added, a smile creeping on to my face.

"Don't know about a horse," he frowned.

I started to giggle, "Gotta have a horse, Nathan." And he sent chills down my spine as he took me in his arms and kissed me and told me how much he loved me.

NATHAN

I pick Magdala up after she's had a piano lesson and I think that I'll bring her home for a quick one, because I know Mom and Michelle are out shopping and Ben is training.  But by time we get there, we are only in the house for a minute when Mom arrives home.  Taking Magdala into my bedroom now will be frowned upon, so I help Mom unload the groceries and she invites Magdala to stay for dinner.  This seems highly unusual for a school night.  I wonder what Mom is up to.  Mom and Michelle seem to be busy in the kitchen so I take Magdala to my room, I can't help it.

"Up for a quickie?" I ask.

She teases back, "As opposed to what...a longey?"

"Funny," I say dryly.  I kiss her, my tongue moving into her mouth.  "Mmmm," I groan, "think I'm extra hot for you today. You don't have to stay for dinner."

"I want to," she says brazenly.  She kisses me on my neck, behind my ear.  I groan, quite loudly.  "Shush," she says, "your mother will think I'm torturing you. And I want her to like me.” I start laughing, God she makes me laugh.  She unbuttons my jeans, unzips them and I slide them off.  She's wearing a short dress, so I reach beneath for her panties.  I move my mouth back onto hers, our tongues merge.  "Love you," I splutter, needing to tell her, but not wanting to stop the kiss. I never thought of myself as a particularly sexual person, but since meeting Magdala it's like all I think about.  When I'm around her there's like a direct link from my heart to my cock, and even the thought of my mother's wrath isn't enough to deter me. 

I stopped using condoms, there was one time when I realized I'd completely forgotten, but she told me she had a contraceptive implant.  I had been reluctant to push for information of why she had an implant, but then again I wanted to know.  She told me she had dated a boy from Beverly High, who drove a Porsche and lived in his own apartment.  I'd raised my eyebrows in wonderment, thinking those sorts of people only existed in television programs.  No, she said, they were real.  She had said, in a matter-of-fact voice that he cheated on her.  And that's why she preferred Toyotas, Porsches were overrated.  You could put your back out trying to get out of the thing.  I'd laughed, and then she had agreed that we didn't need to use condoms, that the implant was ninety nine point nine percent certain to prevent pregnancy.


We go and sit out on the back porch, throwing the ball to Rocky.  Michelle sits and watches us.  Magdala asks her if she has baked something for dessert, recalls how delicious her cupcakes were.  Michelle says she's made a carrot and pineapple cake.  Magdala says that that sounds healthy, that she will make sure she keeps enough space for it.  I laugh.  She texts her Dad that she won't be home for dinner, then tells me that her brother will pick her up later, on his way home from training, to save me a trip.

We are still sitting around the table, Michelle has just served us all a piece of cake, when there's a knock on the back door.  Ben gets up to answer it and I can hear from the voice that it's Cassian.  A moment later Ben returns with Cassian and Jakey behind him.  My stomach twists from nervousness, I'm thinking What the fuck is Jakey doing here.  Mom and Dad both rise.

"Sorry to interrupt your dinner," Cassian says, as smooth as silk.  He introduces himself and shakes hands, as does Jakey, and Dad is directing Ben to get extra chairs and Mom is getting extra plates.  Jakey gives me this wide grin, like I can't figure him out, but he sits next to Michelle, who has turned a deep shade of red.  Which only goes deeper when both Cassian and Jakey say they'd like a piece of cake.

"It's called a Hummingbird cake," Magdala tells the boys.  "Michelle baked it.  On her own."  She seems genuinely impressed by this.

"You should get the recipe," Cassian says, after just one bite.  He turns to Michelle and says, "This is great." 

Jakey agrees.  "I've never had a home baked cake.  My mom doesn't bake." 

Mom takes the opportunity to ask Jakey about his family, never misses a beat that woman.  She finds out Jakey's parents run a security company, that his Mom use to own a gym, that she in fact started up a chain of gyms back in the day.  I didn't know that.  Jakey's all charm, in sharp contrast to the other week, and inside I'm seething over his two-faced attitude.  But he's got Mom and Michelle hanging on every word.  His hair is dark brown, slightly mussed like he's come from some training, probably wrestling, I think wryly.  He has grey-green hooded eyes, usually piercing when he's staring at me, but right now they're clear and bright and his face is all clear skin, angles and cheekbones and smiles.  So false I'm thinking.  And I'm wondering what he's thinking, being in this "scum neighborhood" sitting at a table that has wobbly legs, mismatched chairs and a stained tablecloth.  But every time he looks up at me, he grins, as if we're friends.  I seriously don't get it.  Mom leaps up again to offer the boys a drink and she brings back more cups and water.  I cringe as she places a plastic SpongeBob cup in front of Jakey, it's Ben's, not mine, but he doesn't seem to notice.  What he does notice is the Clippers coaster that she's placed it on, and in the next moment it's like all bedlam breaks loose as we discover Jakey is fanatical about the Clippers.  About as fanatical as Dad it seems.  It's like he's our new best friend. Players, scores and stats are all discussed, analyzed, argued about.  Both boys ask for seconds of the cake.  Dad takes Jakey into the lounge to look at old signed programs and a signed shirt that he has framed.  Jakey acts like he's interested, even taking a photo of it.  Cassian stays and chats to Mom, she can't seem to take her eyes off his green eyes. Michelle clears the table, there's no cake left, and Mom tells Michelle to bag up some of her cookies for the boys to take home.  Cookies that are usually our school lunches.  Magdala and I are bewildered.

Then just as it seems they are ready to go, Ben, Jakey and I are shooting baskets and Dad is out here too.  Magdala and Michelle are sitting on the doorstep watching us and patting Rocky.  It all seems surreal, Jakey laughing and listening to Dad's stories, and it makes me wonder if he's schizophrenic or something.  Last week I'm white trash, today we're basketball buddies.  Cassian and Mom eventually come out, seems he helped her do the dishes.  Magdala says that's not unusual, she says Cassian can be a neat freak. 

Mom gives them their cookies, which they express sincere gratitude for, then there are goodbyes all round as if we're one big happy family.  Out by the gate, Cash elbows Jakey, who then nudges me.

"Hey Nate," he gives me a bold stare, "I'm sorry about last week, like man, I didn't mean to insult you."  He looks down briefly.  "You have a great family."  And he reaches his fist to me, and we bump and I just give a slight nod of my head.  Magdala gives him a slap on the back and just leans into him for a moment and then turns to me.

"Thanks for dinner and...everything else," she says, reaching her arms around my waist, and leaning her head on my chest.  "I never want to leave you.  I just want my arms around you all the time."

A shiver runs up my spine. Oddly those words make me soft, like I want to cry and my chin actually quivers.  Fuck.  I feel like a baby.  I kiss the top of her head and she squeezes me tighter.  "See you later," I say, releasing her quickly, almost feeling my eyes well up.  Fuck I love her so much, but don't say anything in case I crack.  And with Cash and Jakey in the car waiting, I don't want to humiliate myself.  Luckily she races into the car, gives me a wave and calls, "Love you."  I wave back, watch them drive off, text her:  love u more than anything.

And I so mean it.  But  I don't understand how I can feel even more love for her, I thought I already loved her to the max.

I don't know what it is that makes two people attracted to each other.  Chemistry, physics, Einstein's Law of Attraction, Cupid's arrow?  Whatever, my desire for Magdala was total, complete. Every time I saw her my body surged, and when I was apart from her my body ached.  It was an overwhelming, all-consuming devotion.  I had never known such feelings could exist, so for me it was like being in a train wreck.

When you think about it, when you think about the billions of people who live on this planet, and the billions of people who have lived and died before us, and you think of all the different countries, languages and time zones, how is it humanly possible that you meet your soulmate at a random basketball game?  Like, what if I'd been sitting higher up in the stands, what if she had been sitting in the visitors stand, which is the other side?  And why wasn't she?  What if our eyes had never met?

And what could a working class kid from West possibly have in common with a rich princess from Beverly Hills?  She loved to surf, I loved motocross.  She loved horses, I loved dogs.  She played tennis, I played basketball.  She played the piano, I played PlayStation.  On paper we were a total mismatch.  But put us together physically and we worked.  We made each other laugh, we talked, we discussed, we dreamed, and we loved.

MAGDALA

Nathan comes to pick me up, we're going to go surfing.  Usually I'd surf three, four times a week, but since meeting him I've hardly been out at all, which is not like me.  He has tried surfing a few times, but tells me he's hopeless, I'm keen to make my own judgement.

"I want to show you something first," I tell him beckoning him into the sitting room, where the piano is.  I pat the piano seat, indicating he should sit next to me.  I've never played for him before.  He sits on the edge, there's not really enough room for two.  "You know I can't sing?" I say, "like I can't sing at all, but I just want to play you this."  He looks intrigued.  I start playing the Backstreet Boys song, I hope he recognizes it, but I don't attempt to sing until the chorus, "I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you do, as long as you love me."  He covers his ears, feigning, or maybe not, a despicable noise.  So I repeat the chorus a couple of times, just to torture him.  He's laughing.  When I stop he kisses me.

"It's amazing," he says, "how bad your voice is!"  And I punch him in the arm and we playfully wrestle.  "No," he laughs, "you're so talented really.  Play me something else."  Then he adds, "something without words." I hit him again.

"Did you get the song though?" I ask, "Like what I was trying to tell you?"

"Totally," he says, kisses me, "thank you."

"Okay, get off then," I say and he stands behind me.  I go through my sheet music, find Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, a piece I've been learning and practicing.  "No, don't stand there," I say, turning to him, "you're too distracting.  Stand over there."  I point to the side, where he leans against the piano.  I frown, he straightens up.

I play, but I'm so engrossed I don't follow his reaction, I get lost in the music.  I started to learn the piano when we lived at Grandad's.  Grandad suggested we should all be learning some musical instrument, and as Grandad had a piano I chose that.  Jakey and Cassian learnt the guitar. Raff learnt the trumpet and fortunately gave up early on.  No one looked forward to hearing his practices.  I was the only one who carried on and it turned out I had a particular talent, which turned into a passion.