Neophyte / Adept (14 page)

“Thanks Lia,” I said.

“Oh, and let my brother down gently. The git doesn’t get it,
got it? Good.” She left me there. It was almost bedtime before I wandered back
into my room. And late, late at night, before I drifted off to sleep. I had
been looking at the illustrations of Wiccan Marks as inked in the margins of my
copy of the Whatchamacallit Codex-thingy and it was a while before I shut my
eyes. When I did it was like blood running in rivulets up
both
my arms. Professor Lux was holding me, and saying, “I have
seen many Wiccan Marks, but yours are the best. They were always there. You
just had to reveal them, Halsey, like your feelings for me....”

Maria was laughing. I was playing roulette with a Wiccan
wheel that had all of the House names inscribed upon it. And as I spun it I saw
all of them––the faces of the members of each House.

And
just
when I thought
it would land on Ravenseal...

Chapter 14
– Problems

I woke up. As I lay in bed I tried to direct my magic but it
wouldn’t do anything. That was the big secret. How do I open the conduit, so to
speak? No one had ever told me. I had always had to wait. Abstain. Whatever the
reasons, they sounded like mush in the mouth, when I heard them.

Ballard wasted no time.

“So,” he said–– my forehead creased over my Rice
Crispies.

“Ballard, I’m flattered, but––”

“Guess who I just asked out?” he said.

My plastic spork fell on top of my cereal and drifted there.
“Who?” I said.

He tossed his head nonchalantly at one of the werewolf
girls––herself chatting with a bunch of them; probably about what
they were all going to wear. She was very beautiful.

“Liesel. But isn’t she––”

“Yeah,” he said, as if he couldn’t imagine his good luck.
“She’s one of the Team Leaders. I only go with the
best
.”

He wasn’t aware of it, but because of what I had been
thinking about, that really, really stung. Did I want to go with Ballard?

Lia scoffed into her breakfast. “She’s way too old for you,”
she said.

“Yeah,” said Ballard, bright and hopeful.

Lia frowned. “Last time you hopped on something you couldn’t
handle, you crashed into a wall.”

“Well, I’ll just have to ride her till I break her in, then,
won’t I? Ta-ta.”

He was off, finally having won an exchange. It was an
unspoken agreement between the two of us that Lia and I would show up late to
the Star Room today. When we got there the other girls were all over Professor
Lux, which I realized was a tactical error, on my part.

He called us to attention, and then sacrificed the floor to
Veruschka Ravenseal––She of the blue hair––and the
other Wiccan delegates.

“Now that we are all
here
,”
said Veruschka, looking at me and Lia. I tried to catch Lux’s eye, but he had
his head bowed. “You young ladies need the Oath administered to you forthwith.
Please bow your heads. That’s right. I find shutting your eyes also helps.
Repeat after me, please. I...”

“I,” we all said.

“Do solemnly swear...”

“Do solemnly swear...”

“That I will not use my Powers...”

“That I will not use my Powers...”

“For any wrongdoing, unless I am prepared to have that
wrongdoing visited upon me elevenfold. I...”

“I,” we said.

“Pledge to protect the secrets of Wicca, and will not share
them with outsiders, unless I am prepared to vouch for that person as a new
Initiate.”

We repeated after her.

“Congratulations,” she said. “You are all officially
Neophytes.”

Professor Lux raised his head and smiled to himself.

“I trust you will fill them in on the gaudy details,” said
Veruschka to Professor Lux. She proceeded to exit the sandpit at a trot, her
feet flying. The other delegates followed after her.

Lux made sure we were finally alone. “I think that
illustrates a point you should all learn. Even Magic can be turned mundane,” he
said. “Do not lose your
awe
.
Right...”

He looked over his notes––some three-by-five
cards he was carrying.

“I need to fill you in on the structure of Wiccan covens,”
he said. “Wiccan covens are matriarchal. That is to say, they are like
beehives. With one Queen. She’s the boss.”

There was some giggling.

“You like that. Good. Of course non-Wiccans pretending to
be
Wiccans can do something else, but
what do they know? Next.” He flipped to a new card.

“Like she said, you are no longer Initiates. Which means
that you can attend any gatherings, not just the open ones. Do please continue
to wear the robes, however. I like seeing you in them.” Flip.

“Do you all have your books?” he asked us.

We nodded. We all looked at each other.

“Good. Each Initiate is given their own copy, when they come
in. Obviously, obviously. But they are encouraged to make changes to it. The
Book is really a metaphor for the Wiccan experience. No two Wiccans are the
same, just as no two Books are ever really the same. Magic
split
. At this Gathering, we have
three
Houses. The reason for that is these Books.” He held up his
own; it looked well-loved and cared for, though it had started to fray.

“You can imagine being Initiated by someone,” he said, “and
they hand you down their book, with all of their
marginalia
in it––the things they thought Important.
Improvements, and so forth, experimentations, new discoveries. Wicca is not
set. Just as the Universe is alive and ever-adapting. It is constantly in flux.
So is Wicca. And part of the chameleonic nature of Magic is new blood coming
in, tossing out all of the old, crusty ideas. Upending things. I think that’s
the responsibility of youth. So whereas we can all trace our roots back to the
same beginning, within the Houses there is mutation, just as there is mutation
within your Books. Do you understand?

“How many of you received new copies of the
Magus Codex
without anything written in
them?” he said.

Lia raised her hand. She was one of the few who did.

“For each of you, the experience is going to be different.
We put the books into a Hopper. Each coven was allowed to bring so many
copies––annotated however they saw fit. And we also introduced
untainted versions into the catch-all Hopper. Each book was then drawn and you
received your books indiscriminately, the leftovers going back to wherever they
came from. This has been the technique for bringing in new Wiccans for over a
century. It is important to note. There is no right way. All Virtues have
Power, just as all Wiccans have Power. Just as all Books have Power. Learn to
appreciate your differences, and you will see all which you have in common.”

“Excuse me, sir, but how long does it take to go from a
Neophyte to Adept, and has anyone ever just skipped straight to Fledged?”

I didn’t see who had spoken––just knew. It was
Vittoria. I noticed, when I came in, that she especially had been flirting with
Professor Lux.

“To become Adept,” he said, “takes a year and a day. Fledged
takes longer. Yes?”

“Thank you for that, but what I meant was, is it possible to
accelerate the learning?” said Vittoria, accompanied by a bunch of nods from
the other girls.

“I understand. You’re looking for a cheat. Wiccan steroids,”
he said. “There aren’t any.”

“But I heard––”

He held up his hand with the gnarly Wiccan Mark on it and
she stopped talking. Lux didn’t need to hide his Mark.

“Some would think an annotated copy of the Codex, with a
bunch of marks in it, preferable. It would be
better
than a brand new book which has never interacted with a
Wiccan mind before,” he said.

Sure. They all nodded and agreed.

“But ask yourself: Who was it that came before you, and what
did they think? What should
you
think? Should you follow or take control of your own destiny? Are they correct
by virtue of their age alone, and the fact that they were here before you?
Maybe you have a better idea. Don’t discount the fact that you matter. If you
didn’t, none of us would be here.”

He broke us into teams, and instructed us to try and move
each other.

“Levitate a grain of sand,” he said, when he saw that we
were having difficulty with that. But no matter what I did I couldn’t get one
speck, one mote, of magic dust to move.

“And the reason,” he said, “is because there is no cheat,
there is no shortcut. There is only practice, and determination, and if you
want Power, it comes at a price.”

My mind felt like it was going to explode. A vein was
throbbing in my temple. Lia gave up, huffing and puffing. I had never felt less
like a witch before.

“That is your first lesson,” he said. “Wanting something is
not the same as earning it. And I would say something else. The people in your
books acquired their knowledge through trial and error. Through trial and
error. You will be making a lot of mistakes before you are ready to advance. Do
that! You make those mistakes! In here, you are encouraged to make fools of
yourselves, because out there, you cannot afford to slip up. So take advantage
of this time. And remember. If it was easy, it wouldn’t be Magic.”

I looked at my Mark, willing it to appear, but if I expected
to see something, it wasn’t there.

He dismissed us. “Not you, Halsey,” he said. “Stay a moment,
would you, please?”

I caught sight of the other Neophytes, all of whom were
staring at me. Vittoria’s wrath was particularly palpable. She may not have
been able to levitate a grain of sand, but she could certainly put me on my
toes. I was going to have to watch out for her.

She looked daggers at the two of us, before departing in
high dudgeon. Lux waited for the others to leave.

“I spoke to Stavros,” he said. “He was the one who brought
you and your roommate both of your Books.” I could imagine where this was
going, because it had also been on
my
mind. “He told me that you said you already had one,” said Lux.

“Yes sir,” I said, wondering if he was going to be
disappointed in me. And then, if it was even my fault. After all, my parents
had left it to me.

“I understand if you don’t want to tell me, but I am
curious,” he said. “Whose copy do you have?”

I explained to him about Ballard, and how he had sent the
book to me and stuff, and what I was doing in Rome before I found out about the
Gathering, and that I was one of the ones who had been invited to be Chosen. He
just nodded his head, like he was thinking about something. I finished up with:
“And so now they expect me to get all dolled up for some dance routine I knew
nothing about, and I have nothing to wear, and if I’m the only one who shows up
without a date, the other kids will laugh at me.” I felt pathetic.

“Do you know what I find works best for that?” he said.

“I know. Make mistakes, take chances. Be the best me I can
be,” I said as forthrightly as possible.

“What else have you got to lose?” he said. He interrupted me
before I could retort. “What I was going to say is––
you
take charge. It’s like the Wicca we
were talking about. Destiny is for the people who are afraid to take control of
their own lives. You make your own destiny. Have some nerve. It’s not called
crafting for nothing. It’s like these Marks. If I wanted to be somebody else, I
could’ve been. But this is who I chose to be. Do you understand? I crafted
myself.”

He flexed his right arm with his off-hand; I couldn’t be
sure, but it sounded like he grunted.

“Sir...”

“Lux,” he said.

“Sir Lux?”

“It’s Professor Lux, Halsey. What do you want?” he said
smiling at me.

“To know why you really wear those talons.”

“It’s a long story.”

“Is it really true that I will have to take the name of
House Ravenseal if I join,” I asked, “because I kind of like my own name, sir?
Is something bothering you?”

“It’s nothing. Go on. I kind of like yours as well. It is
true. But you don’t
have
to do
anything you don’t want to do, Halsey. Again, Wicca is a personal discovery
process. Soon you’ll be eighteen. You can make your own choices from here on
out, don’t you think?”

He grimaced. It looked like his Mark was paining him. But he
soon got over it.

“How old are you, anyway?” I asked.

“I’m your teacher, Halsey. You cannot ask me to the dance.”

“No. Of course not,” I said.

“But we can go as friends.” Lux smiled and I beamed the way
the lights did on the waters of Rat Rock, late, late at night. “Is that a yes?”
he said.

Something boomed within me. I nodded.

“So it’s settled, then. Sorry, but I’m afraid I will have to
go now.” He left me standing there.

The more I thought about it, the Marks seemed to be shaped
by character. It was almost like looking at a person’s penmanship. Sloppy,
neat, all over the place, etc. Or like their bedroom.

Yeah.

My own room was simple––it was neat, clean, and
elegant––not too much clutter. And it was filled with various
mementoes. The things which mattered to me. And nothing else.

* * *

If witches and wizards were like open books, then Lux was a
mystery novel. I couldn’t tell what was up with him, but I was glad we were
going to the Ball together, even if it was just as friends.

When I thought about the Oath I put in my diary that it was
a lot like the oaths doctors took to do no harm.
‘Power takes Oaths,’
I said.
‘What
gives me the right to take power?’
A bit of rhetorical nonsense, but the
more I thought about it, I thought,
Can
being born with something
be
a
responsibility?

You have it. Therefore, shouldn’t it be yours to use as you
will?

The forty-eight-hour clock began to tick in my head, now
that we were out of class. Lia was all over the place. She and Gaven would
obviously be attending together. “But then it’s like a State dinner,” she said.
She didn’t know if she would have to shake a lot of hands and come up with
something interesting to say to each and every one of them, or whether or not
it was more informal than that. “Because if I have to be Mrs. Wolfhead, it’s a
lot different than if I was just going to a kegger in Trastevere,” she said.
“You know what I mean?”

Gaven came by and explained; I think he could feel when she
was upset.

“So we have to get evening gowns,
shoes
, a wax job wouldn’t hurt, you’re right, your hair is
terrible,” she said to me. Gaven knew better than to stick around.

“Lia. Relax. You’re hyperventilating,” I said. “One thing at
a time.” I had still not told her who I was going with. I decided to let it be
a surprise. It was no one’s business, after all. Lennox was gone.