Find Me If You Dare (Dreamcatcher Book 2) (23 page)

Holding my breath, I hurried to the other side of the shed. Lian held a shaking hand to her mouth, and a tear rolled down her cheek. Nolan caught my glance as I stepped around him. His brown eyes were sad and sympathetic.
I’m sorry, man
, he said.

I swallowed the growing lump in my throat and glanced down. Tabbi was on the ground, her pale face still, and her green eyes staring unfocused at the rafters above. Her red hair fanned around her head—and on her chest, where her heart would be, Kayla’s hands rested, blood seeping through her fingers.

Though her hands hadn’t moved, Kayla’s arms were lax.

My body turned to ice.

“No, no, no.” I dropped to my knees next to Tabbi, pressing my fingertips against the side of her neck. No pulse. Tears burned my eyes. When I’d left them, the Nightmares were close, but they should’ve had enough time. Should I have helped them escape before I went after Seth and Ivan?

I took my friend’s small hand in mine; it was ice cold. This couldn’t be happening. Of all people to be taken down by a Nightmare, it shouldn’t have been her.

“She did it to protect me,” Samantha spoke weakly from her side of the barn. “We were circling up, getting ready to evaporate, and one of the Nightmares broke free. I never saw it coming, and she”—Samantha sobbed—“she jumped in the way. Kayla lit it on fire before it could attack any more of us, but Tabbi…”

I sat back on my feet, my lungs in my throat. Sacrifice—it was what we were built for. It’s how we were created. My head felt as if it floated above my body. I never wanted her to die like that again. I never wanted
any
of them to forever be lost to eternal darkness, period. Tabbi had done what we were all ingrained to do, but I couldn’t help but feel like all of this was somehow my fault. Like maybe if I hadn’t fallen so hard so fast for Kayla, we wouldn’t even be where we were.

We were in this fight because I loved Kayla. God help me; I loved her like I’d suffocate on my eternity if she wasn’t by my side. But my affection for her had pulled everyone else I cared about into some maniac’s version of a holy war—and they were dying because they cared about me.

The room spun. I crawled away from Tabbi’s body like it was a bomb ready to explode. I dug my fingers into the dirt, unable to remove my burning gaze from Tabbi’s face. A wave of throbs overtook me, starting in my toes and ripping through every muscle and bone until it reached my throat. Unable to breathe, I gasped for air, each breath laced with a groan I couldn’t contain.

Jumping to my feet, I paced with my hands on my head, breathing through clenched teeth, trying to catch my breath before I unraveled.

For two hundred years, Tabbi’s bubbly, enthusiastic personality had lit a smile on my face. She’d been by my side when my parents passed. When my brothers, sisters, nieces, and nephews died. When I’d stood at my mentor’s pyre, saying goodbye to the man who’d taken me under his wing when I became a Protector, the man who’d taught me how to fight—and how to live—after death. She wasn’t just my friend; she was my sister.

As I gripped the back of my neck, my shoulders curled inward, and I cried, my heart shattering. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I should’ve died before her. I was a fucking Catcher, damn it! Never should I have let her stay with us in Caelum.

A hand touched my arm, and I jerked away. I needed to be alone. This was my fault. I should’ve been stronger; I should’ve protected her.

I stormed from the barn, every part of my body sore, like I was falling under the poison’s spell all over again. Outside, a small forest surrounded the decaying plantation. I wandered into the woods until I was far enough from the rest of my team that I could let my emotions run free.

Back and forth I paced through the trees, moans and sobs wrecking my chest and throat. I’d prayed that God would spare my friends, but that obviously had been asking too much. I screamed, punching the nearest tree until my knuckles bled and my hands were raw, until my knees gave out.

I leaned against the trunk, my forehead pressed to the bark. Screw God and the Angels. Where were they when we needed them? As soon as this war was over, I was done being a Dreamcatcher. I’d given them two hundred years, and they’d left us all to die in that cave.

Arms wrapped around me from behind. I didn’t have to be a mind reader, like Tabbi had been, to know who it was. Holding me, Kayla pressed her cheek to my back. The warmth of her skin melted the chill in my spine. I dug my fingertips into my scalp and focused on slowing my cries as she rubbed my chest rhythmically with her thumb.

I’m so sorry
, she said, squeezing, her tears dampening my shirt. I dropped my hands from my head and placed my arms over hers, my forehead still against the tree.

I clung to her, desperate to feel her love, to hold on to the moment that I knew would end the second we moved. My tears waned, but I didn’t let Kayla go for fear that I’d unravel all over again.

She loved you
, Kayla said.
You know she did. She told me so many times how you felt like the big brother she never had. Hold on to that, okay? We’ll get Richard back for all he’s done.

I let out a long breath and slowly stood. Kayla’s arms fell away. I turned, and when she saw my face, her already-red eyes scrunched in pain. Silently, I pulled her to me, wanting her in my arms, to kiss her hair, to know that I wasn’t alone.

For minutes, we stood in silence, and then I eased my hug to look onto her beautiful face again. I pushed dark strands of hair from her forehead and flushed cheeks with my fingertips. My hands lingered on the sides of her neck. I tipped her chin up, bringing my lips down to meet hers. Together, we’d get through this. Together, we’d take down Richard and avenge our friend.

Again, I kissed her, then pulled away. “I’m sorry.” I rested my forehead against hers. “You should never have to see me fall apart.”

Kayla put a hand over my heart. “You’re not a robot, Daniel. Don’t pretend to be.”

I placed a hand over hers, stroking her thumb with mine. Maybe we
wouldn’t
be in this mess if I hadn’t fallen in love with her, but I was so glad I had. I would take whatever came my way, for as much as she needed me, I needed her. Maybe even more than she knew.

Ti amo, rosa mia
.

She smiled. “I love you, too.”

I twined my fingers with hers, stepping toward the barn. Our feet squished through mud as we trudged back to the team, our hands grasped together as if we were afraid one of us would fall if the other let go.

I seized the moment to take in the scenery. The large barn where we sought refuge reminded me of the stables on my family’s property. A now-dead garden separated the shelter from a small, single-story home that looked like it hadn’t been occupied in at least fifty years.

Inside, Ivan and Seth had been moved to a pile of hay, and a bucket of water sat in the middle of the room. Nolan used it to clean his arms and face of Margaret’s dried blood. Lian lay next to her boyfriend, running her fingers through Ivan’s dark hair, while Sam still leaned against a wall of the barn, her eyes red and swollen.

Tabbi’s body was covered with a blanket.

Kayla and I stopped at the bucket and cleaned our arms and faces. Until we got new clothes, we’d just have to make do with what we wore.

Still feeling like I needed to scrape away the top layer of my skin to be clean again, I scooped my forever-twelve-year-old friend in my arms. Eyes watched me, calculating and penetrating, but I kept my voice steady. “I’m going to give her the Protector’s funeral she deserves.”

Again, I wandered outside, and the others followed shortly thereafter. Kayla and Nolan used their abilities to help me build a pyre, and after I lay Tabbi’s body on the wood, Nolan set it aflame.

By the time I found the strength to return to the barn, the fire was nothing more than smoking ash. Tabbi was gone, her body along with her, and now she was lost to eternal blackness. Never another thought, emotion, smell, touch…

It was that knowledge that made me wish I could turn off my own feelings or rip my heart out through my throat. But as I stood, I stuffed the pain away, letting my anger and hatred for Richard fill every bone and muscle in my body. With a deep breath, I joined my friends.

“We need to find the others,” I said. “We can’t be the only ones who survived.”

Nolan nodded. “I saw Protectors evaporate with small groups the same time we did. Though, I have to be honest with you, dude, I’m surprised Richard let us leave. And I doubt anyone’s going to join our fight again.”

I didn’t want to believe that. Someone had to hate Richard as much as we did.

Daniel?
As if on cue, Trishna’s voice slammed into my head, her Indian accent more pronounced than I remembered. Damn, it was good to hear from her.

Daniel, can you hear me?
She sounded as exhausted as I felt.

“It’s Trishna,” I told the others, closing my eyes so I could focus on replying to her. The farther she was from me, the harder it would be to send a message. I needed her to hear me.

Trishna, tell me you’re all right.

Silence.

I pushed the message harder. A headache formed, but I didn’t let go.
Trishna, I’m here. Talk to me.

Daniel, oh, thank Bhagavāna. Where are you?

Opening my eyes, I repeated the question to Lian. She’d picked this spot.

“Near Yangzhou,” she replied. “This used to belong to my family.”

We’re in China,
I sent back to Trishna.
We’re safe. We…
My eyes burned.
We lost Tabbi. But the rest of us are okay.

There was a pause.
I’m sorry. How many of you are there?

Six.

Okay, stay put. There’s about twenty of us. We’re coming to you.

“So?” Samantha asked when my eyes opened again.

“So, we need to make room. Trishna’s bringing troops.”

o my surprise—and happiness—Trishna didn’t just bring twenty men and women, but food, water, blankets, and a battery-operated radio to keep us in touch with what was happening in the world.

But of the twenty, fifteen were either feverish or already unconscious. I frowned, watching Samantha, Kayla, Lian, and Nolan help everyone get situated.