Fifty Shades of Alice in Wonderland (5 page)

“Might I at least have something to wear?” she asked.

“Nonsense. A woman as beautiful as you, it would be a tragedy to cover you up. But the woods out there can be rough on bare skin. Just a moment.”

Alice waited, and thirty seconds later, Pilar appeared again, holding a cardboard box.

“You look to be a size seven,” he said.

A seven would be a bit tight on her, especially since her breasts still felt a bit swollen, but Alice would be thankful for any dress he gave her.

But when Pilar opened the box, it didn’t contain a dress. Or a skirt. Or pants.

It was a pair of black leather boots, with pointed heels and silver buckles at the thighs.

“Here you are,” he beamed.

Alice had never worn any such footwear. They looked to be made for strippers. Or prostitutes. But the trail was indeed rough on her bare feet, so she sat in the doorway and with great effort tugged them on.

“Magnificent,” Pilar said. “They make your legs and bottom look incredible.”

“Thank you. I—”

But he had already slammed the door.

So Alice forced her incredible-looking (but still rubbery) legs to carry her through the mushroom field, and peered up to see the sun glistening on their dew-kissed caps. She’d been in Pilar’s cottage for what seemed like an eternity, and although her balance was wobbly and the spot between her thighs deliciously sore, she didn’t feel the least bit tired.

She felt brilliant.

Alice walked in the direction Pilar had pointed, and soon she cleared the forest of mushrooms and came upon a ranch-style house with pink shutters. For a minute she stood looking at the house, wondering if whoever lived there could direct her to the path home, when suddenly a man wearing a police uniform with big lettering on his shirt stepped out of the forest and walked to the front stoop. There he set down the boom box he was carrying and simply stood, staring at the door.

“Aren’t you going to knock?” Alice said. She wasn’t sure what had made her feel so bold. Normally she wouldn’t talk to a strange man like this, even a police officer, and it wasn’t until he turned and looked at her that she remembered that except for the boots, she was still completely nude.

Alice drew one arm across her breasts, and covered the shaved spot with her hand.

He would probably give her a ticket.

Instead he looked at her, staring with an intensity that made Alice want to shrink away. It wasn’t a mean or hateful stare, or a crazy one.

No, this stare was…
hungry.

“My, aren’t you a pretty thing,” he said, the tip of his tongue poking out his mouth and running across his perfect white teeth. “What is your name?”

“I’m Alice.”

“I’m Dick. Are you here for the party, Alice?” Dick’s eyes seemed to devour her.

“What party?”

“This is Wonderland. There’s always a party. The Queen is playing croquet, but that’s invitation only. The Hatter and the Hare are doing their tea thing, as usual. And I am here for the Duchess.”

“What kind of party is the Duchess having?” Dick’s stare was making Alice feel weird, and she wished desperately for something to cover herself up.

“This is a rainbow party.”

Alice frowned. “I don’t know what a rainbow party is.”

“It is a lot of fun. Do you like having fun, Alice?”

“Yes. But I really do need to get back home.”

“Well, I do hope you’ll stay. You’ve got the prettiest lips. And your legs and bottom look fabulous in those boots.”

“Thank you,” Alice said, blushing.

“But your tits…”

Alice began to slouch, the blush getting worse.

“They are magnificent. I would love to have mammary intercourse with you.”

“I don’t know what that is, either.”

“Perhaps, if you join us in the party, I can show you.”

He chuckled a little and smiled. It was a handsome smile, and Alice felt the throb between her legs return. She couldn’t help but wonder if Pilar’s treatment hadn’t done the trick, if she still had a bit of the potion still in her. Why else would she be so wanton?

“So why don’t you knock on the door?” she asked, covering up again.

“Because it is open already.” Dick turned the knob and they went inside.

The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of smoke from one end to the other. Somone Alice assumed was the Duchess sat on a three-legged stool in the middle. A beautiful, buxom woman, she wore a dress with a plunging neckline, and every time she moved, she flashed a glimpse of nipple. Behind her, a large cauldron simmered on the fire, appearing to be full of soup. The rest of the kitchen was dark, cloaked in shadows, and in the corner, Alice saw something that looked like a white snake poking through the darkness.

As she stared, she realized there was a man standing behind the snake. The man had a round face with an enormous smile that seemed to cover half of it. He held a tablet computer in one hand, its screen glowing, and he grasped the snake in the other. Only the snake wasn’t a snake at all.

“Please would you tell me,” said Alice, a little timidly, for she was not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, “why that man is tugging on his privates?”

“His name is Cheshire,” said the Duchess. “And he likes to look at naked breasts, that’s why.” And as if to demonstrate, she twisted in her chair and her dress fell open to expose a huge bosom.

“Thank you, Duchess!” Cheshire called, his hand a blur.

The Duchess smiled, then she took a deep breath and bellowed, “Pig!”

At first Alice thought the woman was yelling at her, or at Cheshire, and then she realized she was looking at the policeman. Flustered at how rude the Duchess was and feeling uncomfortable about how fast the man in the corner was now tugging, Alice backed away and let Dick step past her. He hit a button on his boom box, and music started playing. Before Alice knew what was going on, the cop began gyrating to the beat and taking off his uniform.

The cheap shirt and plastic badge went first, revealing sculpted muscle. With one move, his pants were off as well, leaving him in the smallest pair of underwear Alice had ever seen.

“Are you a stripper?” Alice asked.

“Didn’t the shirt give it away?” Dick said.

Alice glanced at the shirt and noticed, for the first time, it had printing on it that read STRIPPER in large letters.

“My badge says,
You have the right to remain naked
.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“Duchess calls me
pig
because that is crude slang for police officers, which is how I dress as part of my act.”

“Doesn’t that offend you?”

“No. It turns me on. Aren’t you turned on by crude and vulgar words?”

“Well, I… I don’t know.”

“When I said your tits were magnificent, did that arouse you?”

Alice didn’t know how to answer. She was embarrassed by the question, and uncomfortable being gawked at by the man in the corner, pleasuring himself. “I… I…”

“You seem flustered.”

“I
am
flustered,” Alice said.

“Don’t you like strippers?”

Dick pressed his muscular body against Alice, bumping into her heaving breasts, his bulge brushing the tip of her femininity.

Alice kept staring, and she felt shame in doing so, even though she couldn’t turn away. Even worse, she wanted to put her hands on Dick’s chest, to run them over his six-pack abs, and most of all, take off his underwear and see what that bulge looked like underneath.

Terrible, obscene, shameless thoughts that made Alice’s mouth go dry.

“I need to go,” she said.

“Please stay,” Dick said. “I strip for the Duchess, and she gives me a rainbow. It would be wonderful if you helped her.”

Alice watched the clutch of his buttocks as he danced and the bounce of the package in front, not knowing what to do. She should leave, right away, but whenever she tried to get around Dick, he stepped in front of her, gyrating and grinding. Every time he bumped her, it caused another tingle in Alice, and she was becoming increasingly, uncomfortably aroused.

“Come here, naked girl.” The Duchess said in a sharp tone. “I’ll show you what a rainbow party is.”

Alice did as she was told, grateful to get away from the stripper.

“Isn’t he delicious?” the Duchess asked. “Look at the size of his bulge.”

Dick’s bulge was, indeed, formidable. The Duchess motioned him to come closer. When he did, she pulled the scrap of fabric down until Dick sprang free. He wasn’t quite as long as Pilar, but almost as thick as Alice’s wrist, and as she looked at him, his manhood flexed upward, as if reaching for her.

“Mmm,” The Duchess said. “Isn’t he just lovely?”

Alice had forgotten how to talk.

“Let’s make a beautiful rainbow, shall we Alice?” The Duchess reached into her clutch, pulling out a handful of small cylinders. She spread them onto the floor, chose one, and pulled off the cap and twisted, revealing a length of deep, red lipstick. Puckering up, the Duchess gave her lips a thick coat, then beckoned Dick closer.

Grabbing him roughly, the Duchess opened her mouth and slid his member deep into her cheeks. Dick stopped dancing, and instead stood incredibly still, a deep moan emanating from his chest. Her lips stretched wide to accommodate him, and the Duchess slowly, incredibly, was able to take all of him in, right down to the root.

“Thank you, Duchess,” Dick said. Alice tore her eyes away from the spectacle and looked at Dick’s face. His eyes were closed, his mouth open, and he panted in obvious ecstasy.

Slowly, the Duchess pulled her head away. When he popped free, there was a red lipstick ring encircling his member near the base.

“Your turn,” the Duchess said. “Pick a color.”

Alice was astonished. As arousing as it was to see Dick react to the Duchess’s actions, Alice had never done anything like that before. She’d taken Pilar in her mouth, true. But she’d been half-insane with lust at the time, unable to control herself. And even then, Alice hadn’t known what she was doing. Pilar seemed to enjoy it, but Alice’s technique was amateurish. The Duchess knew exactly what she was doing. She seemed to be in complete control.

“But… I don’t know how,” Alice protested.

“Nonsense. You just put on lipstick and take him in your mouth.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I’m sure Dick won’t mind if you practice on him. Dick?”

“I wouldn’t mind at all, Alice,” Dick said. “Practice all you like.”

The Duchess picked up a tube of lipstick, extending it. The color was deep blue. She cupped Alice’s chin in one hand and smeared a thick coat across her lips.

“There. Now make the second band of color in the rainbow.”

Dick was right in front of her face, bobbing there, still glistening from the Duchess’s attention.

“I can’t,” Alice said, leaning away.

“See how much he wants you?” the Duchess said.

“Please, Alice,” Dick said. “Please take me in your luscious mouth.”

Alice thought about getting up, running for the door. But that damnable throbbing in her nether regions had gotten worse, and Dick looked so earnest and needy. Maybe she could try it, just once.

She parted her lips, slightly, and moved them to the tip of Dick’s extension. As on Pilar, the head was soft but firm, and as Alice wrapped her lips around it, Dick cried out.

She immediately jerked her head away in alarm. “I’m so sorry! What did I do wrong?”

The Duchess laughed. “Nothing, dear. The poor boy was simply overwhelmed with pleasure.”

“But all I did was put it in my mouth.”

“Trust me, Alice. There is no man in the world who wouldn’t want a woman to take him in her mouth. It is the ultimate in control. They’ll do anything for it. Watch.” She turned to the stripper. “Dick, get down on your knees and put your head under my dress and I’ll put you in my mouth again.”

Dick immediately obeyed. Alice watched, fascinated, as the Duchess began to ride Dick’s mouth like it was a carousel horse. She was rough, smearing her juices all over poor Dick’s face, and it took less than a minute for her to shudder and cry out in release. Then she told Dick to stand, and took Dick’s full length into her throat in a sudden, violent movement.

Dick cried out, “Thank you, Duchess!”

The Duchess bobbed her head twice, and then withdrew.

“Now put your mouth around him and see how far you can take him in, Alice.”

Watching the scene had made Alice’s throbbing become oh so terribly worse. She wished she had the courage to order Dick to lick her, as he had the Duchess, but that was far too embarrassing to even think about. But she did manage to open her mouth, wider this time, and slowly suck Dick in between her cheeks.

“Yes,” Dick said. “Oh, yes. That’s so good.”

“Now bob your head, Alice,” the Duchess said, entangling her fingers in Alice’s hair and guiding her back and forth.

Alice began to get the hang of it, but went in too deep and began to gag. She spat Dick out.

“I’m so sorry, Dick.”

But Dick’s eyes had rolled up into his head, and his hips were bucking uncontrollably. He didn’t seem to mind at all that she’d gagged.

“New color,” the Duchess said. “How about a pretty orange?”

She did up her lips and swallowed Dick, also using her hand to stroke the base of his shaft. After a few pumps, it was Alice’s turn again. Alice selected a bright pink shade of lipstick, even though pink technically wasn’t a color in a rainbow. She imitated the Duchess’s actions, using her hand as well, and Dick began to whimper and shake.

“What a lovely rainbow,” the Duchess said, admiring the multicolored smears of lipstick on his manhood. “Don’t you think so, Dick?”

“Uhng… ungh… ungh…” Dick said.

“They’re so stupid and pliable when you get them to this state,” the Duchess said to Alice. “Right now, if you asked him to, he’d lick your boots.”

“But why?”

“Because men are pigs,” the Duchess said. Then she stood up. “This has been lovely, but I must attend the Queen’s croquet game. She sent an invitation to me, and she gets cross when guests are late. Please finish off Dick for me, Alice.”

“Excuse me?”