Fated (24 page)

He
smiled politely, although I knew he wanted to turn around and leave. “Just
looking.”

“I
saw your latest collection at the Sheridan Gallery a couple of months ago. It
was amazing! I can’t believe some major galleries have refused to show it. It’s
obvious that they’re works of art and not just gratuitous naked photos.” She
shook her head sadly. “It’s tragic that they’re being censored.”

Caden
looked more and more uncomfortable as the woman chattered on. I thought it would
be too rude to abruptly leave, so I gave her a polite smile. “We would love to
be able to look around, if it’s okay.”

The
woman clapped her hands together. “Of course! I don’t mean to talk your ears
off. I’m Shelley Mayers, by the way. Just let me know if you need anything.”

Shelley
left us to wander around the gallery, although it was impossible not to feel
her gaze on us since the space was so small.

After
a few minutes, I whispered to Caden, “I think we can leave now without it
seeming rude.”

The
corner of his mouth lifted. “Is that what we’re doing? Trying to be polite? I
thought you actually wanted to look around.”

“Not
once Chatty Cathy got started, but I thought it would be too rude to leave
without making an obligatory round.”

Unfortunately,
Shelley saw us move towards the door and intercepted us. She shoved a card in
Caden’s hand.

“Here’s
my business card. I know my gallery is tiny, but if you ever consider showing
at a smaller gallery, it would be an honor to showcase your collection.”

Caden
nodded, but I noticed he was no longer bothering with a polite smile. He seemed
to have reached the end of his patience, so I answered for him.

“Thanks
so much, Shelley. It was nice meeting you.”

She
thrust her hand into mine and I shook it. “You too. And you are…?” She trailed
off, looking at me curiously.

“Lauren
Sloan.” I paused a beat before continuing. “I’m Caden’s assistant.”

“Lauren,
so nice to meet you!” Shelley glowed at me, as if she thought I was the gateway
to gaining access to Caden.

I breathed
a sigh of relief when we were finally able to leave and stepped out into the
sidewalk. “I thought we were never going to escape.”

I
looked up at Caden when he didn’t say anything. He looked displeased as he
frowned at me.

“Why
do you always tell everyone that you’re my assistant?”

I
blinked at him, not understanding his question. “Because I
am
your assistant.”

“You’re
not on the clock right now.”

I
made a sound of exasperation. “I can’t exactly say, ‘Hi, I’m Lauren Sloan. I’m
having sex with Caden Riley. Nice to meet you.’”

His
lips tightened but he didn’t answer. His earlier enthusiasm vanished, and the
carefree day turned uncomfortable. We went into a few more stores, but the more
sullen he became, the more irritated I felt.

“Let’s
go back,” I finally announced. I realized that I was more hurt than annoyed by
his change in mood. His attitude shouldn’t have soured just because I had told
the gallery owner I was his assistant. I thought he would appreciate my attempt
to keep the boundaries clear.

Caden
nodded shortly and we walked back to the car he had rented for the day. I slid
into the passenger seat and buckled my seatbelt, staring straight ahead. I
ignored Caden beside me, although the tension in the car was palpable.

I
was surprised when he finally broke the silence. “Do you want to go to Pastis
for dinner? We can go to the High Line afterwards.”

“If
you don’t mind, I’d rather go home. I’m pretty tired.”

Caden
sighed deeply before responding. “I’m sorry if I got in a pissy mood. It just
bothers the hell out of me that you can’t seem to wait to tell everyone you
meet that you’re my assistant.”

I
looked over at him. “Why does it bother you? Caden, I
am
your assistant. What we’re
doing–” I waved a hand in the air between us, unsure of how to describe
our relationship. “It’s secondary. First and foremost, I’m your assistant. Or
are you telling me that you want more?”

As
soon as the last sentence left my mouth, I desperately wanted to pull it back,
to pretend that those words had never been uttered. I flushed in embarrassment,
hoping that Caden didn’t think I was making a request.

His
jaw tightened and the knuckles on his hands gripping the steering wheel
whitened. “Lauren,” he started. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

I
made a sound of frustration. “Spare me the speech. I’m not looking for more!
That’s why I don’t understand why you got so upset about me telling the gallery
owner that I’m your assistant!”

In
that terrible moment, as the words fell from my lips, I realized it was a lie.
Somewhere along the way, I had lost my perspective and I felt a searing
disappointment that I had just confirmed that Caden saw me as nothing more than
a good time. Sure, he treated me well and indulged me in activities like today,
but at the end of the day we were nothing more than a physical relationship. I
wasn’t stupid enough to think I was in love with him. But I knew I was attached
to him,
too
attached, and not just for the explosive sex.

Caden’s
look of relief cut through me. He glanced over at me and gave me a rueful
smile. “Can you just chalk it up to the mood swings of a temperamental artist?
I promise to be on my best behavior for the rest of the day.”

The
last thing I wanted to do was pretend to be happy while I felt shattered
inside. I wanted to go home and bawl my eyes out while I cursed myself for
being so weak. But I didn’t want Caden to get suspicious so I nodded with a
forced smile.

“Sure.
Let’s go to Pastis.”

Dinner
was an exercise in torture as I tried to keep upbeat. Caden was in good spirits
again and carried the conversation. Walking along the High Line afterwards was
even worse. It was an elevated park that had once been a freight rail line but
it had been transformed into a green oasis that stretched out a mile long. It
was filled with couples enjoying the mild spring night, and it reminded me of
everything Caden and I weren’t. I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to be one of
those sickeningly sweet couples who couldn’t seem to take a step without
clutching each other’s hand. But it would be nice to have that option.

It
took some convincing on my part for Caden to believe I had a headache and
wanted to go home instead of going back to his place. To his credit, he seemed
more concerned that I wasn’t feeling well instead of us not ending the day with
wild and crazy sex, but he didn’t understand why I couldn’t just sleep at his
place.

It
was a relief when he finally acquiesced and dropped me off at my apartment. But
when I was finally alone, the tears didn’t come. The wails and howls of life
being unfair were swallowed as I forced myself to come to grips with my
feelings. Now that I recognized my growing attachment, I could do something
about it. I was determined to get past the superfluous emotions. I had survived
a lot of things in my life. I could survive Caden Riley.

Chapter Eighteen

The
next few weeks flew by. I finally got my head screwed on straight, and realized
that my emotions didn’t need to get involved in our physical relationship.
Caden seemed to be of the same mind, and we got into a comfortable routine. We
still kept our professional relationship during the day, and didn’t take any
more breaks for pasta salad, but we indulged ourselves after work and often on
Saturdays. We usually stayed at Caden’s place, although every once in a while
he came over to my apartment. Sometimes we would spend the night together, and
sometimes the other person would leave afterwards. There were no tears or pleas
to stay. I was happy with our arrangement.

Caden
and I were lying in my bed on a Saturday afternoon after an intense session of
sex. I was cradled in his arms with my back nestled against his front and he
was lazily drawing circles on my arm with his hand.

“What
are you doing tomorrow?”

I
was surprised by his question. He had told me that he went to Michael and
Millie’s house in Greenwich up in Connecticut most Sundays, and that’s why we
never got together that day of the week.

“Nothing,
except an exciting date with laundry.”

“Why
don’t you come to Greenwich with me tomorrow?”

I blanched
at his suggestion. It went against the no-strings attached relationship we had
cultivated. Sure, we spent time together outside of bed, but it was always just
the two of us. I didn’t know how I felt about spending time with other people
in Caden’s life.

“Why?”
I asked. I winced inwardly at the way my question sounded, but I didn’t know
how else to ask.

I
felt him shrug behind me. “Because it’d be nice to spend a Sunday together.”

I
accepted Caden’s simple explanation and agreed to go with him, although a part
of me wondered if it was wise. The worry was constantly in the back of my mind
for the rest of the day, although I was often distracted by Caden’s hands and
mouth.

Sunday
was a gorgeous day, and it was a nice drive to Greenwich. We didn’t talk much
on the drive over, instead enjoying the air whipping our hair through the open
windows and listening to the local alternative rock station. We had become
comfortable with silences, and it was one of the things I loved about our
relationship.

“It’s
beautiful,” I commented as we pulled up to a grand Georgian house.

“Millie
and Michael bought this house when they first got married. Millie wants Michael
to retire so they can sell their apartment in the city and live here full time,
but he’s too stubborn. He thinks retiring means admitting that he’s old.”

I
was surprised when Caden put an arm around me as we walked to the front door.
He was often affectionate, but I didn’t think he would be demonstrative in
front of his friends.

An
elegant woman with graying hair and patrician cheekbones opened the door,
greeting us with a wide smile. Her blue eyes were sparkling and full of
affection as she looked at Caden. Her smile grew bigger as she turned to me.

“Lauren!
I’m so happy you could come today!” She immediately wrapped me in a hug, and I
automatically raised my arms to return it. I wasn’t surprised that she knew who
I was since Caden had phoned to tell them I was coming. “I’m Millie, Michael’s
wife.”

“Thank
you so much for having me, Millie. Your house is beautiful.”

“Of
course! We’ve been trying to get Caden to bring you for ages.” Millie turned to
give Caden a baleful look but then ruined the effect by embracing him warmly. I
was relieved Caden couldn’t see my reaction to Millie’s revelation since his
back was to me as he returned the hug. Knowing that it was Michael and Millie,
and not Caden, who wanted me to come today, made a small pit of disappointment
bloom inside my stomach. I should have known that it was them pushing Caden to
bring me with him. Ever since my conversation with Michael weeks ago, I knew he
hadn’t given up on the idea of a relationship between me and Caden. I didn’t
think Caden had told him about the type of relationship we had developed, but
it was impossible not to notice that we had grown closer.

“Come
in, come in,” she said as she ushered us inside. The inside was as grand as the
outside of the house, and I admired the elegant furnishings that were
restrained and tasteful.

Michael
strode into the foyer, looking as healthy and vibrant as ever. His face lit up
when he saw me.

“Lauren!”
he exclaimed as he kissed me on the cheek. “I’m glad Caden finally had enough
sense to bring you with him.”

I
glanced at Caden and he looked uncomfortable by Michael’s comment, but he just
gave me a wry smile when he saw my eyes on him.

“Lunch
will be ready in half an hour,” Millie announced as we settled into the living
room.

“You’re
in for a treat,” Michael announced. “Millie’s made her famous pot roast with
all the dressings.” He looked at his wife affectionately, his eyes shining with
adoration. Their open love for each other made me uncomfortable, as if I was
witnessing a tender moment that was meant to be private. Michael looked back at
me. “Can I get you something to drink, darling? How about a glass of wine? We
have a terrific Sancerre.”

I
nodded with a smile. “Sure, that sounds great.”

Michael
left the room after he had taken everyone’s drink order, and Millie turned to
me. I could see the open curiosity in her eyes, and I braced myself for her
questions.

“Lauren,
tell me about yourself. All I know is that you’re from Chicago and you work for
Caden.”

I
tried not to stiffen at her questions, even though I hated talking about
myself. I was a guest in her home and I didn’t want to embarrass Caden so I
tried to answer her as graciously as possible.

“There’s
not much to tell, Millie. I’ve lived in Chicago all my life, and I’ve known
Macie since college. When she told me she was looking for someone to sublet her
apartment for a few months, I thought it would be an opportunity to try a
different city. I actually wasn’t planning on taking over her job as well, but
her replacement pulled out at the last minute, so I stepped in.”