Read Fashionably Dead Online

Authors: Robyn Peterman

Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Romance, #Paranormal, #Humor & Satire, #General Humor, #Demons & Devils, #Vampires, #Romantic Comedy, #paranormal romance, #Humor

Fashionably Dead (35 page)

BOOK: Fashionably Dead
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“Baby Girl?” the voice called again.

I was either for real dead or insane.

“Astrid,” she said, “please say my name so I can come to you.”

“Nana?” I whispered, not trusting myself to speak louder. I was tingling with fear and anticipation.

A sparkling orb approached me, not unlike Glenda the Good Witch’s bubble in
The Wizard of Oz
. It floated down the hallway toward me, leaving what looked to be a glittery diamond dust in its wake. It might be coming to kill me or eat me, but it sure was pretty. Then it spoke.

“Hello, my Baby Girl,” the orb said.

“Nana, is that you?” I asked the orb, realizing that in talking back to it I had indeed taken the train to Crazytown, gotten off, and bought property.

“Oh hells bells,” the Nana Orb said. “I forgot to morph.”

What the fu . . . ?
My Nana was a transparent glittery bubble ball that could morph? Dear God, was this what happened to people when they died?

“Nana,” I croaked, “can I help you?”

“No, sweetie,” she grunted. “Damn it to hell, I haven’t morphed in a while. I can’t quite remember how to do this.”

I watched in morbid fascination as the Nana Ball bounced and quivered like Jell-O, throwing off the most unusually gorgeous sparkles I’d ever seen. I realized with delight that I was covered in her iridescent glitter.

“Sweet Baby Jesus,” Nana yelled, “I think I’ve got it.”

I tried to back away, but the wall was solid. The Nana Ball . . . Orb . . . whatever . . . began to grow. Quickly. Nana was moaning and groaning. It sounded painful.

“Are you okay?” I panicked. I’d already been through Nana’s death once. I wasn’t going to be able to handle it again. Could a ball of light die?

I’m good,” she grunted and began to take on human features.

It was Nana. I could smell her . . . freesia, lilies and brown sugar. I smelled like brown sugar too. If I could breathe, I’d be hyperventilating. I was staring at my Nana. No wait, I was staring at the thirty-five-ish year old version of my Nana, and she was gorgeous. She looked just like she had when I was a little girl. It was strange to be almost the same age as my Nana, but I wouldn’t have cared if she was a thirteen year old teenager.

“Nana?” I ached to touch her, but was terrified she’d disappear if I moved.

“Hi, Baby Girl.” Nana smiled and extended her arms to me. I was crying and shaking. Never ever did I think I would get to hold my Nana again. Loving her as much as I loved her made this moment absolutely perfect.

“I’ve missed you so much,” I blubbered.

“I know, Baby. Me too.” She held me tight.

“Am I for real dead?” I asked her. “Are you?”

“Well,” she laughed, “it depends on your definition of for real dead. I’m dead and you’re undead.”

“Does that mean we can be together?” I grasped her tighter.
Please say yes. Please say yes.

“Only for a little while.” She gently unwrapped me from her body and took my hands. “Your time on Earth is not done yet. You still have so much to do.” She smiled and held my face in her hands.

“Where are we?”

“Heaven.”

“Oh my God.” I quickly slapped my hand over my mouth and waited for lightening to strike. Nothing.

Nana laughed and I got lightheaded. She was an Angel. She knew Pam . . .

“Nana,” I was excited, “come back with me. I know you can. You sent Pam to me. By the way, she has a filthy mouth.”

“She does, doesn’t she?” Nana smiled and shook her head. “I can’t go back with you. It’s not my time yet.”

“I don’t get it.” My eyes began to fill again.

“I’ve had several lives, little one,” she said as she played with my hair, smoothing it away from my face

“Have I?” I asked, snuggling closer. She smelled so good, it was impossible to get close enough.

“No honey, this is your first go-round.”

“How many lives have you had?” This was one of the weirder conversations I’d had, and I’d had plenty of weird lately.

“Two.” She took my hand and led me down the grand hallway to a very simple and quietly beautiful sitting room. Everything was white and cream and beige. At first glance it seemed boring, but it was definitely not. It was rich and soft and safe. The furniture was overstuffed and reminded me of puffy clouds. I could stay here forever.

She sat me on one of the puffy cloud couches and continued. “The first time I died was about a hundred and forty years ago, and the last time was about five months ago.” She watched me intently. She was trying to tell me something, but I had no idea what. I wanted to ask her, but the rules were different here. The air was thick with Magic and I knew in my gut there were more questions than answers in this place.

“If I’m here, where does everybody think I am?”

“Your body is on Earth. You are in a Heavenly form here,” Nana told me.

“But I’m me. I feel like me.” I ran my hands over my face and body.

“It’s hard to explain, but your Earthly body is at the Cressida House in a coma, and your Spiritual or Celestial body is here with me.”

My God, that’s why I was having coma thoughts. Ethan knew something bad would happen to me if I transported with somebody. I wonder if he felt smug about being right or if he missed me. “How is my other body still alive?”

I pressed the bridge of my nose trying to ward off the panic attack that was coming on. Nana could tell I was on the verge and gathered me close.

“You left a very small amount of your essence on Earth, but it won’t last long.”

“So that’s why I’m alive in two places?” This was nuts.

“That and the blood of your mate,” she replied.

I pulled back and looked away. Why couldn’t anybody get this straight? “I don’t have a mate,” I insisted, wrapping my arms around myself and staring at the floor.

“You do, my love,” Nana said. “Look at me, child.”

I did. God, she was beautiful. Uh oh . . . she had that look on her face. That look she got when I wouldn’t eat my broccoli. Or when I tried to sneak out of the house in a see-through top and a micro mini.

“He doesn’t want me.” I ran my hand through my hair and looked up defiantly. “I’m half Demon. Ethan hates Demons.” I turned away and tried to suppress my tears.

“You’re not a Demon.” Nana took my chin in her hand, forcing me to look at her. “Your father may be the King of the Demons, but you are immune to your Demonic tendencies. Why do you think I sent you Pam and The Kevin?”

“Nana, Ethan doesn’t care. He . . . ” This was so embarrassing, trying to explain to your dead grandmother why the person you did the nasty with hated you.

“Astrid.” Nana was firm, using that
I will take no bullshit
voice. “How long did it take you to come to terms with being a Vampyre?”

She waited. I said nothing. I wasn’t completely sure I had come to terms. She forged ahead.

“I recall listening in on a rant that referenced blood breath, weird bun heads and the smell of the old lady bathroom at the country club.”

“You heard that?”
Lord help me, what else has she heard?

“Yes,” she smiled. “I rather enjoyed Pam’s confusion over the old lady bathroom thing.”

“Nana, what’s your point?”

“My point, Baby Girl, is that Ethan is over five hundred years old and has had horrific experiences with Demons. You didn’t give him a chance to catch his breath and come to grips with any of this.”

“He was an ass.” I was not backing down.

“Yes, he was . . . and trust me it’s not the last time he will be an ass, but he loves you. He tried to tell you and you ran away.”

“Nana,” I whispered, “I broke the mating.”

“And just how did you do that, my baby?” Nana put her hands on her hips and tilted her lovely head.

“I told him we were no longer mated, that I didn’t want him . . . that he was a mistake.” I felt ill.

“Hmmm,” Nana said, handing me a small glistening jewel that resembled an opal, “that’s all well and good, but it’s impossible to break a mating once it’s been consummated.”

She paused and looked pointedly at me. If I could still blush, I’d be purple.

“So Ethan is still my mate?” I felt giddy and elated and embarrassingly enough, horny. Gotta love my inner slut.

“Yes.” Nana’s eyes twinkled. “Ethan is still your mate.”

“Does he really love me?” I needed to know. It was so hard for me to trust that someone besides my Nana loved me. Thanks, Mom.

“Oh yes, my child, he loves you and will never stop. He would die for you.”

We were both quiet for a bit. There were so many things I wanted to ask her. I just kept staring at her, trying to memorize her. She was mine. My Nana. My Nana who was so kind and beautiful, and who smelled so delicious.

“Nana,” I blurted. I’d almost forgotten. “Did I save Cathy? Did she live?” Oh dear God, I hoped so.

“Yes love, you did. She will be fine.” Nana looked radiant and relieved. That was weird, She didn’t even know Cathy. “I’m so proud of you and I wish to thank you.”

How odd. Why would she thank . . .

Brown sugar. Oh. My. God. We all smelled like brown sugar.
Me, Cathy, Heathcliff, Nana . . .

“Nana . . . ” I searched her face, looking for clues. Everything was making sense. She said her first life ended about 140 years ago. That would be just about right. “When you died the first time, did you have a family?”

“Yes, Baby Girl, I did.” She was excited. She knew I was close.

“Did you have a son and a daughter? Were you good friends with Emily Bronte? Should you be punished for saddling your children with names they could never live down?”

She was delighted and clapped her hands like a child. “I did and I was and I should. You are so smart, my love.”

It all made sense. The intense connection I felt with Heathcliff. The disastrous results when we tried to be romantic. My desire for Cathy to like me. My need to save her when she clearly hated me. We were blood related. I wasn’t exactly sure how. Siblings? Cousins? Nana was their mother and over a hundred years later she was my grandmother. I supposed that made them my aunt and uncle, many times removed? It didn’t matter. My family kept getting bigger and bigger.

“Can I tell them?” I asked her.

“They already know. Heathcliff searched your house for things that would comfort you or possibly bring you out of your coma, and came upon our pictures. When you see them again, I’d like you to tell them how very much I love them.”

“More than me?” I teased

“The same as you,” she laughed and caressed my face.

“So you looked the same back then?” This was mind blowing

“Yes, very similar,” she smiled.

“Are they upset?” This was crazy.

“Heathcliff is overjoyed. And Cathy, as you would expect, is wracked with guilt.” Nana took me into her arms. “Astrid, you need to go back.”

“Why?” I held her tighter. “I don’t want to leave you. I just got you back.”

“I will be in your life again, my child. All my cycles of life will involve you. You must go now. Ethan is dying.”

“What?” My stomach dropped and I felt dizzy. “He can’t die, he’s immortal.” I was in a full-on panic and started pacing the room. “He wasn’t injured during the battle. Did someone hurt him?” My voice was loud and shrill.

“No,” she said

“Then how? Why?” This could not be happening.

“He’s feeding you, Astrid. Mated Vampyres must drink from each other to live.”

“Yes . . . and?” I didn’t get it.

“He won’t drink from you because you’re in a coma. He just keeps feeding you his blood.”

“How long have I been in a coma?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

“Two weeks,” she told me.

I tried to puzzle it out. “If he dies, then I die too.”

“In most cases that would be true, but not in this case.”

I stared at her, willing her to go on. My body was ice cold. Dread raced through me and I started to shake.

“Astrid, if a Vampyre dies while saving the life of his mate, the mate will live.”

I dropped to my knees and started rocking. “Have to go . . . I have to go. I have to leave. I love him, he’s mine. I have to go, Nana. Now.”

“Astrid.” She grabbed me by the shoulders and made me pay attention. “The stone I gave you will take you back to your body, but you will have to fight with everything you have to successfully rejoin the Earthly realm.”

“Is it possible?” I asked her.

“Look at me. Look at yourself. Anything is possible.” She stared deeply into my eyes. “Do you love him?”

“More than life itself,” I told her, scaring the shit out of myself realizing how true that was.

“Then go save him.”

I squeezed the stone, kissed my Nana and felt myself begin to fall. Faster and faster and faster.

Chapter 32

 

“Has anything changed?” I heard Venus ask.

BOOK: Fashionably Dead
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