Effortless (10 page)

Alastair stood by the desk watching me. “Sorry about that.”

“These?” I asked, shoving the ripped undergarments in my purse. “I have more.”

He grinned, picking up a nameplate off the desk. “Mary Beth Dunleavy. Assistant Manager. If she only knew the shenanigans that happened in her office on the weekend.” A pained expression blanketed his otherwise sated features, making my heart seize. Running a hand through his messy post-sex hair, he cleared his throat. “Ready?”

I hooked my arms around his waist, pressing my cheek against his chest. The rapid beating of his heart hypnotized me. We stood like this for several minutes, mostly because I had a bad feeling that if I let him go, he’d shrink back behind the mask. I don’t know why I felt that way, I just did.

Shoving my concerns away, I chose to focus on Alastair’s soft caresses. He tilted my chin up, a small crooked smile curving his mouth. It was disarming and sweet. Seeing it set off a wave of pleasure through me.

“I love you,” I said, squeezing him. “And your blatant disregard for this woman’s office.”

“I told you, you make me lose control.”

“Good.”

Opening the door, he poked his head out to see if anyone was nearby. Lacing his fingers through mine, he led me back through the pub and right into the orbit of an overzealous guy talking with Graham.

“Holden,” he called, sauntering over. “Can I have a min—”

“No,” he said with all the warmth of a lion who’d just been woken from a sound sleep.

“But I ha—”

“I said no.” Placing a protective arm around my waist he stared down the man.

“I’m on deadline. Just one question.”

“Not. Now.”

I watched the guy physically shrink from intimidation, shoulders slumping in defeat. When Alastair Holden didn’t want to be bothered by the press, he had no mercy. I’d been so spoiled by his softer side all day I’d almost forgotten what a hard ass he could be.

Regaining some of his composure, he straightened his spine. ”Still an ornery bastard.” He sized me up before continuing. “I hear there’s discord among the ranks at Holden World Media. Company’s about to fall apart according to my source. Care to comment?”

Stony silence filled the space between us and the reporter.

“Any comment on the accusations your uncle is—”

“Enough,” Alastair growled. “Another word and I’ll call your editor and have you fired.”

“I struck a nerve. Then it must be true.” His smug brown eyes lingered on my face for longer than was acceptably comfortable. “He’s going to make you sign a pre-nup, you know. Too much money is in play.”

“I said enough.” Alastair moved close enough to the guy to make him lose his bravado for a second time. The last thing any of us needed was a public brawl. I’d only seen Alastair lose his temper like this around one other person.

“Told you he wasn’t going to talk to you, mate,” Graham said, pulling the reporter back. “Time to leave now, yeah?”

Shooting one last glance in Alastair’s direction, the guy left.

“Do you know who that was?” I asked Graham.

“Local guy named Michael. He writes for the Times and likes to sniff around here when Alastair comes in.” He turned to my agitated fiancé. “Haven’t seen you scare the shit out of someone like that in a long while.”

Scowling, Alastair muttered something under his breath before we said our goodbyes and thank yous to Graham.

The car heaved with tense silence for the entire drive to my sister’s. I had half a mind to say forget it and just go back to the hotel. When Alastair’s mood went dark, it stayed there for hours.

Dayna flitted about the living room, placing a platter of pastries on the coffee table and filling our mugs with hot water for tea. She’d made the most delicious roasted chicken dinner with a side dish of tagliatelle in truffle butter that put me in the most awesome food coma. Having a sister that writes for a food magazine certainly had its advantages.

Her husband, Andrew, had Alastair engaged in a spirited discussion about rugby. I didn’t really know what they were going on and on about, I just liked seeing Alastair with a smile on his face even if it was somewhat forced. He’d been charming and personable all through dinner but I knew his mood was still sour.

“Mom is beside herself about this wedding, you know that right? If you thought she was unbearable planning mine, just wait.” Dayna joined me by the picture window. The views from her house in Gypsy Hill were stunning. The London skyline glittered in the distance.

I nodded, sipping my tea. She regarded me curiously. “Are you okay? You guys have both been on edge since you got here.”

“I’m fine.”

“Lia,” she sighed. “You can’t do the smoke screen thing with me. I know something’s bothering you.” She leaned closer. “Is everything okay between you two?”

“Yeah. I think there’s something going on at his company though. He’s been working crazy hours and going back and forth to London. He won’t talk about it. Believe me, I’ve tried. I’m just worried that brunch with his aunt and uncle tomorrow is going to be a challenge.”

“Don’t obsess. His relationship with his family is what it is.”

“Easy for you to say.”

She pursed her lips the same way our mother did. “Stop inserting yourself into his personal drama. Whatever issues he needs to work out with them is his business. If he wants to open up and talk to you about it, he will. Until then, keep doing what you’re doing. It’s working. He’s a much different person now than he was when you guys were here in June. He’s softer but don’t tell him I noticed.”

I sighed, glancing across the room at my future husband. “I just wonder how he’s going to process all this. He’s an orphan consumed by survivor’s guilt who chose to barricade himself from emotion and getting close to anyone. And now, he’s on the verge of having not only a wife but an extended family. It must be so overwhelming.”

“Wow. You are the worst over thinker in the universe.”

“Thank you, Captain Obvious.”

“Seriously. How do you function with that brain?”

I knew she was teasing me but everything she’d said was so spot on. “We all have our cross to bear.”

Nudging me with her elbow, Dayna grinned. “Can we just talk about how friggin’ exciting it is that I’m going to be Alastair Holden’s sister-in-law? People at work are already peppering me with questions.”

“Have you been contacted by any newspapers or reporters or anything?” I asked with a hint of concern. Having the paparazzi chasing me was one thing but if they went after my family I’d have a serious problem with that.

“Nope. They haven’t gone all Pippa Middleton on me yet. Of course if you put me in one of those butt hugging bridesmaid dresses that could all change.”

“Oh my God,” I snorted. “He’s just some guy, not royalty.”

“And that, my dear sister, is why he loves you.”

A calming warmth spread through me as I remembered his words from the pub.
You’ve always just seen me
. On cue, he looked in my direction, gaze darkening. Andrew excused himself, giving Alastair a chance to meander over to the window where we were standing.

“You both look like you’re up to no good,” he said, kissing my forehead.

Dayna chuckled. “Nah. Just some sisterly conversation. Have you and Andy dissected the rugby league enough for one night?”

“Reckon we have.”

“Do you still play on the weekends? I remember Lia saying you were part of some amateur league.”

“Work’s been busy, so no. Next weekend looks promising though, if you sister doesn’t mind seeing me muddy and sweaty.” The gleam in his eyes hit my hot buttons in a way I wasn’t expecting.

“Mud and sweat look good on you.” I smirked. “The dirtier, the better.”

Leaning close, Alastair lowered his voice. “Well then. Rugby next Sunday it is.”

Christ, he smells so good
. I blinked myself out of this seductive haze, hastily reminding myself that not only we were in my sister’s house, she was standing six inches to our left.

“Yep. I’m the third wheel. I’ll leave you guys to do…whatever.”

“Sorry.” I smiled, blushing.

“That is one thing you should never apologize for.” She laughed.

“Your sister is right,” he said, squeezing my waist. “Thank you again for dinner, Dayna. You’ll both have to come to Glasgow so we can return the favor.”

“Absolutely,” she beamed. “You’re part of the family now so don’t be surprised if we show up at your doorstep unannounced all the time.”

Alastair’s pleasant smile was betrayed by the barrier blocking any warmth from reaching his eyes. He slid his arm low around my waist, cupping my hip. The intimate embrace thrilled me but didn’t distract from his masked discomfort.

“I have one more little dessert to get out of the oven. Be right back.” My sister waltzed off to the kitchen, leaving us alone by the window.

“Enjoying yourself, chief?”

Pulling me closer, he rested his chin on top of my head. I figured this was as close to an answer as I was going to get. When Dayna and Andrew came back into the room we rejoined them on the couch for an assortment of cookies, small cakes and pastries. I watched as Alastair interacted with ease, turning on the irresistible Holden charisma. Draping an arm over my shoulders, he tucked me into his side as we leaned against the cushions. His gentle caresses made my skin tingle and pulse race. But I knew this was all for show.

They couldn’t tell how shrouded behind the protective shield he remained but I could. And it broke my heart.

* * *

I walked through the elegant lobby of the Savoy a few steps behind Alastair. We were still staying at the hotel so, in the words of my stubborn Englishman, ‘we don’t have to spend any more time at the Holden Estate than was necessary.’

His controlled, purposeful strides were watched and admired by almost everyone who could see him. A few women stood a little straighter as he passed them without a sideways glance. Their greedy, wanton eyes sized me up with envy. Much like the snobby people at Brent’s party, I imagined these women whispering amongst themselves, asking each other how I could have landed such a hotly desired man like Alastair Holden.

I pushed my shoulders back and passed them with as much ease as I could muster.

Once we were in the suite, Alastair flopped onto the couch. A rather normal, unspectacular move for a guy who just strolled through the hotel like he owned the place.

“You’re handsome when you’re tired,” I said, sitting on the arm of the couch. He smiled up at me.

“Is that the only time?”

“Maybe.”

He had me on the couch and in the grips of a severe tickle attack before I knew what was happening.

“Oh my God, Alastair,” I shrieked in between giggles.

“I do love hearing you say that.” He tickled me faster, smiling and laughing in a way I didn’t think was possible after the mood he’d been in all night. When I thought I wouldn’t be able to take it anymore, he stopped, seeming to know I’d had enough.

“You’re mean,” I gasped, ruffling his hair. “But I love you.”

“My Lia.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I want to spend the rest of tonight lost in you. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since I had you in that office.” He kissed me, stoking the eternal flame that always burned deep inside. “Make me forget. Make me feel wanted.”

“Hey,” I whispered, holding his face. “You’re always wanted. What’s wrong?”

Not answering, he averted his eyes.

“Don’t worry about tomorrow, Alastair. It’s not here yet.”

“I’m not worried,” he grumbled. “I’d rather not waste my energy talking about that.”

“Why do you get so agitated about them?” The words flew out faster than I could tell my mouth to shut the hell up.

Annoyed, he pushed himself off the couch and paced the room. I sat up, refusing to let his sour mood dampen my spirits.

“Look, I’m sorry it upset you but at some point you’re going to have to explain it to me. They raised you. They gave you the best upbringing anybody could ask for. Your aunt adores you, so I know she’s not the one you have a problem with.” The flood gates were open and I couldn’t reign in my curiosity. I had to know what the deal was.

“You’re going to do this now?” he glowered. “After I told you I didn’t want to talk about it.”

I raked my fingers through my hair and sighed. “I don’t want to argue with you. I just want to understand.”

Staring at me with the same guarded curiosity as when we first met, he reached out his hands. “Come to me.”

“I know this routine, Holden,” I said, standing up and walking over to him. “You’re very big on seducing me into silence.”

“And yet you came to me.”

“I can’t help myself.”

His small crooked smile melted some of the agitation from his face. “Is that why you put up with me?”

“We’ve been over this already. I put up with you because you’re insufferably hot and a good cook. The fact that you’re a master of seduction is nothing more than the cherry on top of a really, really delicious sundae.”

Catching me around the waist, he pulled me in for a kiss. My insides turned to useless goo at every movement of his lips and stroke of his tongue.

“I should marry you.” He grinned, his beautiful mouth still brushing against mine.

“Mmm.” I ruffled his hair. “Too charming.”

“You should get naked so I can do some really charming things to you all night.”

“Not so fast, lover boy. I want to make sure I’m not sideswiped by one of your pendulum mood swings tomorrow.”

Narrowing his eyes, he took a step back.

“Don’t get all pissy just yet, Holden. We’re in this together. If something happens and you shut me out I will
not
tolerate it. What affects you, affects me. I see your discomfort and your annoyance whenever you have to visit your family. I may not understand it yet but I’m not letting you hide behind that awful wall alone.”

He stared impassively for several seconds as the mood in the suite shifted from playful to strained. I’d never been so vocal about his closed-off ways before so I figured he’d need some time to process what I said. If not for the love that burned in his eyes I’d have thought he transformed into an unyielding statue.

“Do you promise not to leave me this time?” he asked in hushed tone.

“What?” I asked, stunned by his question.

Clutching his stomach as though he might be sick, Alastair shook his head. “That time you left…I can’t.” His jaw tightened as he regained some composure. “That house doesn’t hold many pleasant memories for me.”

Swatting away the guilt that surfaced, I folded my arms and aimed my best determined stare at him. “You don’t get to throw that back in my face, Alastair. You acted like a little brat that day. It killed me to leave you. We’re beyond that now. It’s part of the fabric of our relationship but it does not define us. It doesn’t define how we should react to one another when things get tough. I know that and you know that.”

He visibly uncoiled from the tension. Uncertainty clouded his eyes, wrenching my heart. After all this time, he still feared loss. As much as I sympathized for him, I was also frustrated.

“Do you see this?” I asked, lifting my left hand so the diamond ring glittered in the light. “It’s an outward symbol of my promise to never leave you.” I grabbed his hand, placing it over my racing heart. “Can you feel that?”

The dominant spark returned to his eyes full force. Fisting his free hand in my hair, he pulled. “You are all that I feel, all that I am and all that I’ll ever need.”

I leaned close, trapping his bottom lip between my teeth and tugged. “I’m yours,” I whispered. “Forever.”

The sound of slow, ragged breathing permeated through the suite. His hunger for me was palpable. Gritting his teeth, he pressed his forehead to mine. “You make me—” he paused, scowling. His chest rose and fell in a heavy sigh. I waited, my body tingling with anticipation. He was on the verge of another breakthrough, I could sense it.