Authors: Michelle Lynn
Don't Let Go (28 page)
I lay myself on the bed and strike my best sexy pose, even though I’m still wearing jeans and a t-shirt. As his steps become louder and closer, my heart wells in dire need and desire. When his face reaches the top and I see the faux-hawk, brown hair of my boyfriend, an ache fills inside of me.
“What’s this?” he cautiously asks. “No…really?” he questions as his eyes search the room. He walks toward the closet, seeing my clothes on one side and his on the other. Then he ventures into the bathroom and sees my toothbrush alongside his.
Coming out of the bathroom, he looks at me again. He silently asks me with his eyes and I give him a small nod of my head, making him smile widely. Finally, Brady jumps on the bed and kisses me. “You sure?” He backs away from me a little.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything,” I respond, pulling him down to me.
Epilogue
Grant
It feels weird being back at this house after so many years, but I’m glad I could get used to it again with Sadie here first. I laugh when I think about how I thought she was the girl for me that day in the library. We seemed to fit, like two peas in a pod, but she was already taken. And not by just anyone…it had to be my arch nemesis, Brady Carsen.
We used to be best of friends, Brady and I, but when my asshole dad took away his mom, he couldn’t forgive me. I couldn’t blame him; I hated myself just as much. But when I moved in with Kara’s family, I missed him. Feeling more alone since my mother had died, I comforted myself with girls. Whichever girl showed interest had a chance with me. That’s when things went completely disastrous between Brady and me.
He was dating this girl, Jen Kramer. They had only been on a few dates but at a party, she showed some interest in me and I took her upstairs, only to have Brady walk in on us. Jen and I were completely naked in the middle of having sex so there was no denying what was going on. Brady stormed toward me and I let him hit me as many times as he wanted. I deserved every punch. Not only for what I did with Jen but because of my dad, too.
Once we started college, he joined The Invisibles and I joined a fraternity, sealing our separate ways for good. Last year, when I started seeing Mr. Carsen asleep on the park benches and passed out in alleyways, I knew I had to take care of him. Don’t get me wrong, Mr. Carsen always loved his drinks. They used to have the most amazing parties when we were little. Brady, Maura, Kara, and I would run around playing tag and hide-n-seek while our parents got trashed.
I never thought about it then, but Mr. Carsen always seemed to be passed out on the couch at some point before the end of the night. But after my dad took away his wife, Mr. Carsen drank all the time. When I moved in with them, I remember Brady sleeping in the chair next to his bed to make sure he didn’t get sick or calling the university, informing them he was ill. That’s why I left to go live with Kara’s family; I couldn’t handle seeing what my father had caused.
“Hey you.” Jessa nudges her shoulder into mine, interrupting my journey down memory lane.
“Hey,” I respond, gently nudging her back. The smile she gives me takes all of my control not to throw her over my shoulder and stomp upstairs. I have to keep reminding myself she is taken and I will never again take another guy’s girl, even if I hate the asshole. “They kind of make me sick,” I joke, nodding my head toward Sadie and Brady, who are currently wrapped in each other’s arms while kissing. God, I’m a jealous bastard.
“Yeah, I don’t know what I’m going to do when I live here. Maybe I should have stayed in the dorms for my last semester,” she laughs, flashing that one dimple in her right cheek that has been driving me crazy for days.
From the moment I saw Jessa at my fraternity party, she has consumed my every thought. When Sadie asked if I would help her paint the third floor, I jumped at the chance when she told me Jessa would be helping as well.
As we walk over to the table to sit for dinner, I casually act like it was a coincidence we ended up next together, when in fact I have been thinking about how I was going to maneuver it most of the day. I pull the chair out for her and she smiles at me, clearly taken back by the kind gesture and my heart breaks, knowing she’s never been cared for like she deserves. I push it back in and stare at her exposed neck, where the small scripted words ‘free’ are tattooed along with black birds flying around it. I’m curious if she just liked it or it means something, but from what I know of her, I think it’s the latter. Her ear piercings up and down her right earlobe are clearly visible with her pixie-cut hair style. We couldn’t be more different in appearance, but then I look at Sadie and Brady and they are just as different. I don’t remember ever wanting someone like I want Jessa. I sit down next to her and grip my napkin so my hand doesn’t disobey and grab hers.
Luckily, Brady starts talking, alleviating me from this pain for a short time. “Hey, everyone. Sadie and I want to thank you all for coming.” He stares down at her and she smiles warmly back up to him. “We want to play a little game and I hope that you all don’t mind, but we feel like we have so much to be thankful for this year, we want to hear yours. I’ll start,” he says and I want to kick his ass for this impromptu game. “I’m thankful that I am no longer am alone. That I have my one and only by my side forever and always. Never let go, babe,” he says, bending down and kissing Sadie. Can this get any cornier? Do they have to keep flaunting their newfound love?
Sadie stands up. “Never, Brady,” she says to him, grabbing his hand. “I want to thank Jessa for dragging me to that god-awful bar where my white knight with an edge saved me. I know I ran away that night but never again. I’m here, forever and always,” she says and Jessa smiles toward them. I didn’t know that’s how they met.
Everyone at the table starts standing up, thanking other loved ones or events that have happened. It’s getting closer to my turn and my stomach is filled with butterflies. I’m not usually shy to talk in front of people, but the way Jessa glances at me every time someone says what they are thankful for, I worry I will fumble over my words. Maura’s five year-old son knocks me with his elbow, telling me it’s my turn. I have no idea what that little man is thankful for since my head has been everywhere but at this table.
I nervously scoot my chair out from the table. “I’m thankful to have an old friend back in my life.” I stare at Brady who nods his head, smiling. Then I pull out Jessa’s chair for her and she stands up.
She looks around the table before her eyes land on me. “I’m thankful for new friends,” she says, winking at me.
My heart races at the thought she might want me as much as I want her. Too bad we have two things against us: she has a boyfriend and ever since Lizzy, I don’t do relationships.
Grant’s Story Coming October 2013
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Michelle Lynn
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S.G. Thomas (Editor)
Here’s a sneak peak at another Michelle Lynn’s novel - LOVE ME BACK
Chapter 1 – 11 years old
“Madeline Dolores Jennings!” Bryan yells teasingly at me from the bottom of the hill.
“What do you want, Bryan Otto Edwards?”
“Hey, I’m just joking, Maddy.” Bryan runs up the hill, throwing his arm around me. “You knew it had to be coming; I have been holding it in all day since Kenna slipped at lunch.”
I hate the days my mom “works late”. It entails me having to walk up the grassy hill from my grade school to my brother Jack’s football practice with the other latchkey brothers and sisters of the football heroes of our small town. There are four of us that make the trek every day.
Mackenna Ross is my best friend and our polar opposite personalities only enhance our different qualities. She is free-spirited, whereas I am more conservative. She speaks her mind and I keep my thoughts to myself. We share a love for tennis, swimming, and the game MASH (mansion, apartment, shack or house), where we try to map out our perfect lives.
Our brothers are teammates but not the best of friends. In fact, they have been known to fight with each other on several occasions. The most recent battle is over a girl… Cindy Rydel. I don’t see what is so intriguing about her, but I am not a seventeen year-old hormone-induced boy either. It doesn’t matter to Kenna and me that they don’t get along, so long as it doesn’t keep us away from one another.
Jack glances up to the bleachers on his way to the field, giving me a wave as he checks to make sure that I made it safely across the hill from our school. I wave back and take my seat next to MacKenna. She already has her notebook out, wanting to go first. We keep all of our MASH games in a binder, marking stars next to the lives we want. I grab her notebook, flipping to the next blank page.
“Alright Kenna, four boys?” I ask.
“Let’s do five today. I can’t decide who to leave out, Jackson or Tyler,” she says, tapping her lips with her finger.
“Fine, five,” I reply. Mackenna never changes the cars she desires or where she wants to live, but the boys’ list is forever rotating between the boys in our school.
“Ok, well my usual four boys and…” she pauses, glancing over to the field next to us where the latchkey boys are tossing a football around. “Bryan,” she says, spitting it out so fast I barely catch what she said.
“What?” I scream at her. Two days ago, Bryan told her that her butt is big, and now she is picking him to be her future husband?
“Maddy! Shhh…it’s my choice. Write it down,” she says, pointing to the paper with her neon-green painted fingernail.
“Alright, but I don’t understand you at all.” I shake my head back and forth, writing it down and hoping that the rotation eliminates him. I love Mackenna but Bryan is a jerk; I would not let her marry him.
Luckily, Mackenna ends up married to Tyler, living in a shack in California with eight kids, and driving a Range Rover. I am happy Bryan was eliminated in the third round.
“Not my best life but I’ll take it. I got my Range Rover.” Mackenna shrugs her shoulders, moving her eyes toward the grassy area again but quickly turning back toward me. “Your turn, hand it over,” she says, holding her hand out.
I dig through my bag and pull out my purple binder, handing it over to her.
“Maddy, this time you cannot put Trent down four times; you have to choose other boys.” She starts writing MASH across the white sheet of paper.
“I only did that once, Kenna.” I look over at Trent throwing the ball to Bryan. “Plus, I don’t like him anymore,” I say, trying to convince myself as much as Mackenna.
“I’ve heard that before,” she says, tapping the pen on the paper.
I have known Trent my whole life. His brother, Doug, is Jack’s best friend. We have been thrown together during our brothers’ t-ball and football practices and games, as well as too many Cub Scout events to count. We would play together when we were little, but as we get older we tend to ignore each other, doing our own thing when forced to be around one another.
Mackenna is right though. If I am being honest with myself, I have had a crush on him my whole life. I have written “Mrs. Trent Basso” millions of times and scribbled over it a zillion more. Regardless of my current feelings toward Trent, he is always on my MASH list for a future husband.
Today I hate Trent because, during recess, Evan Graham said that Trent asked him to ask me if Mackenna liked him. I tried to act as though it didn’t bother me, but I wanted to march over to Trent and kick him in the shin. I told Evan I would ask and get back to him tomorrow. I already knew her answer without having to ask her; she would never do that to me. I am so mad at Trent Basso today that I knock him down from his number one spot to my fourth option for future husband. Baby steps.
At the end of my MASH, I am married to Jimmy Schmidt, the class clown, and drive a minivan around Alaska with only one child. Not even close to my best life. I throw my binder on the bench in front of me, leaning back to enjoy the sunshine.
“Let’s do it again,” Mackenna says eagerly.
“No, I’m tired. Let’s just relax.” I don’t open my eyes. I want to empty my mind and enjoy the peace, knowing it will end when Jack and I go home.
“You go ahead and relax; I am going to play some football.” Mackenna walks down the bleachers over to Bryan, Trent, and the other boys.
I open one eye, peering down at her. I am jealous of her confidence. She just walks right up to the guys, grabs the football from Trent, and throws it to Bryan. The boys seem annoyed that she is interrupting their game but they let her join in. I see Trent trying to show her how to throw a football, but she just pushes him away and takes the ball again. I love that girl.
About fifteen minutes later, Mackenna comes running up the stairs and grabs her bag. Practice is over and the football team is making their way to the gates that enclose the field.
“Move your asses, Littles,” Trent’s brother Doug yells over to us. All the latchkey younger siblings are called “the Littles”. MacKenna is ‘Little Ross’, Trent is ‘Little Basso’, Bryan is ‘Little Edwards’, and I’m ‘Little Jennings’.
None of us say anything as we venture down to the end of the gates to meet our older siblings.