Doc Featherstone's Return (3 page)

Jacyn saw Joshua and came up. “At least he’s keeping the IVs in today. Usually, he rips them out. So maybe we can get some fluids in him.”

“How much weight has he lost?”

“Thirty pounds.”

Joshua muttered a curse. Ash had been thin to begin with, so he didn’t have ten to spare, let
alone thirty. At this point he would starve himself to death before anybody would have a chance to cull him or not.

“Our next step is going to be to force a feeding tube on him,” Jacyn said.

“He’ll hate you for that,” Joshua stated with firmly.

Jacyn shrugged. “He already hates me for not letting him die. So I have nothing to lose at this point.”

Jacyn turned to Joshua, a look of surprise on his face that was obviously fake. “Hey, when did you get back here? Nobody told us you were coming.”

“Shane came to fetch me because of Ash, but you already knew that, didn’t you?”

Jacyn shrugged away the question. “Good luck.

Maybe you can get through to him. We sure as hell can’t.”

“I don’t know if I can be of much more help, but I’m willing to try. We can’t just let him waste away like this,” Joshua said firmly.

He walked over to where Ash was sitting and knelt down by the chair. “Hey, Ash. How are things going?”

Ash’s gaze flickered his way ever-so-briefly before going back to the window. Not exactly a stellar start, but Joshua would take it. It was better than no reaction at all.

“Why aren’t you eating? You know what’s
going to happen if this keeps up? We’re going to have to strap you to the bed and force a feeding tube down your throat. You don’t want that, do you?” Joshua pressed, hoping to get through.

“Fuck you,” Ash finally bit out.

Well, that was two words. Not the ones Joshua would have chosen, but it was a something.

“Then stop with the pity party and eat something.”

“Why should I? Just because you decide to show up and tell me to? Well, I don’t have to listen to a damn thing you say. You came and saw that I didn’t die saving your life, so you don’t have to feel guilty anymore, so you can go back home and keep on ignoring me again. I don’t need you. I have another doctor who is taking care of me.”

The venom in Ash’s voice was so strong that it was nearly a physical blow to Joshua. Especially when the words were accompanied with a glare of pure hatred. It was so raw that had Ash had a weapon in his hands at that moment, Joshua would have been looking for cover.

“Ash, you know I was hurt, too. I didn’t leave because I wanted to. I had to go heal myself. With the staff already overwhelmed here, I thought it was better if I went home and was treated there.

I’m here now, that’s all that matters. What you need to focus on is getting out of that chair and getting better.”
Ash gave a bitter laugh. “They keep saying that.

I even believed them at first. But I know it’s a lie.

No matter how hard I tried, I never felt a damn thing in my legs. Face it, Doc, I’m broken, and there is no fixing me. Now, why don’t you do us all a favor and just OD me on some drugs and put us all out of my misery. Then you can all move on with your lives and forget about me.”

“I am not letting you die!” Joshua yelled.

When everybody in the infirmary stopped to look at them, Joshua realized how loudly he’d said that. He didn’t care, though, he’d do all the yelling and screaming in the world if that’s what it took to get through to Ash. He wasn’t going to lose the Hawk.

“Since when did you care what happened to me?” Ash scoffed. “You hate me, remember?”

Since the moment I first saw you.

“I owe you, after all, you did save my life.

Besides, I always care for my staff. You included,”

Joshua said, not daring to tell the truth.

You are such a coward. Shane was right to call you
out on it.

Ash made a big show of rolling his eyes. “Yeah, you cared so much for me. Everybody knows how much you hate me. You’re probably disappointed that I didn’t get killed.”

Joshua was appalled with himself that he’d left that impression on Ash. That had never been his
intent. “I never would have wanted that.”

“Why don’t you just go away and leave me alone?” Ash said.

He started to turn back to the window, but Joshua grabbed him by the chin and forced him to lock gazes. Ash’s nostrils flared with anger and that hatred was back in his eyes, but he didn’t say anything.

“Get this in your head, kid, I’m not going anywhere. Your days of sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself are over. I’m back now, and you will be up and walking again. Even if I have to chase and bite your ass every step of the way,”

Joshua said in a perfectly calm voice.

“You wanna bet?” Ash challenged.

“I never take a bet when I already know the outcome is going to be in my favor,” Joshua shot back.

“You’re wrong. I’m useless and I’m going to stay that way.”

“No, Ash, you’re the one who’s wrong. You will walk again. Because until you do, I’m going to become your one-on-one doctor.”

sh stared up at Doc Featherstone. How A somebody could still look so fantastic while losing their marbles was a mystery to him. While he still wanted to hate the doc, and Ash was still plenty angry at him, he had to admit he was as hot as ever.

With his long ebony hair, golden skin, and deep brown eyes, he was the image that had been haunting Ash’s dreams ever since he’d come to the coalition. The fact that he also had an amazing body, high cheekbones, and full lips didn’t hurt either. In short, he was everything that Ash liked in his men and then some.

The doc let go of his face and walked away, finally leaving Ash alone with his thoughts and boy did Ash have a lot of those to go through.

After having so many days of nothing but the mundane, all of the sudden, his life had been tipped over on its head and Ash didn’t know his
asshole from his armpit anymore.

If only the doc wasn’t such a damn asshole.

Then things would be perfect. But nooooo…Ash had to go and fall for a jerk. Something he seemed to excel in. He couldn’t be attracted to a nice guy for once. That would make his life too easy.

It was thanks to his first boyfriend that he’d almost got his childhood coalition destroyed, and he was exiled. Now, thanks to his infatuation with the doc, Ash had taken six bullets and found himself unable to walk or shift. And what did he get in return for both of those? A big fat nothing.

Now he was disowned and half the man he used to be. He should have gone into the priesthood, except he wasn’t Catholic, so that wouldn’t have worked out, either.

Ash glanced over at the doc, who was going over his chart. As usual, he was wearing a big frown on his face. Nothing new there. The doc rarely smiled. Or at least he didn’t when Ash was around. He probably even frowned in his sleep.

Out of boredom, Ash began to pick at his IVs.

He hated the damn things. Not only did the tape irritate him, but he hated being tethered down to the machines. If he wanted to take a piss, it was hard enough already without having to drag the machine with him, too.

“Knock it off, Ash. You take out one more IV, I’ll put in a central line, and trust me when I say
you won’t like it,” Doc said, never looking up from the chart.

Ash paused, wondering how the doc had seen that. Did he have an extra set of eyes hidden in all that hair of his or something? Letting out a muttered curse, Ash left the tape alone.

“It itches,” he bitched.

The doc came over and looked at it.

“Hmmm…you may be allergic to this tape. Let me try another type and see if that bothers you less.”

The doc grabbed some supplies from a nearby cart and re-taped the IV sites himself. When he was done, Ash was surprised to find that they were a lot more comfortable.

“Does that feel better?” Featherstone asked.

“Yes, thank you,” Ash nodded.

“Does that mean you’ll eat something for me?”

“No.” Ash wasn’t that grateful.

“It’s either that or the feeding tube, Ash, take your pick.”

Ash let out an irritated sigh. “Since when did you ever give a damn what happened to me?”

The doc hesitated for a long time as if weighing what he was going to say. He finally said, “Since you saved my life.”

Featherstone muttered something to Kallen. A few moments later, Kallen came back with a tray of food. It wasn’t much, just some broth and red
Jello
, but the sight of it still turned Ash’s stomach.
The doc set it on a table and put it in front of Ash. Being the bitch that he was, Ash went to do what he did with every other tray that had been put in front of him. He brought back his arm and went to sweep it out of the way.

Featherstone, still a bastard, must have seen it coming because he moved the tray out of the way just in time. He then put it back down. Reaching out, he grabbed Ash by the chin and forced him to lock gazes again. A trend that seemed to be new lately.

“You will eat this, even if I have to jam the spoon down your throat myself. Is that clear?”

“Fuck you,” Ash bit out angrily. Something that had become a new trend with him.

Featherstone leaned down until his lips were just inches from Ash’s ear. “Not now, but you put on a few pounds and at least try to learn to walk again and I just may do that.”

Ash was so shocked by the doc’s words that his mouth parted. Featherstone used that to his advantage in shoving a spoonful of broth in. At first, Ash considered spitting it back out, just to spite him, but his hungry stomach took over and forced him to swallow. Then it growled in demand for more.

Since he knew it was futile to argue with the doc, Ash let him feed him the rest of the broth. He even let him feed most of the
Jello
before Ash put
up a hand. “I’m full. I swear it. I really can’t eat another bite.”

Featherstone put down the spoon. “That’s understandable. Your stomach is going to be weak for a while. We’ll have to slowly build it back up.

Don’t worry, you’ll be back to eating burgers, pizza, and all that other disgusting food soon enough.”

Doc handed the tray off to Kallen with a
thanks
.

Ash smiled. “I thought you were going to freak out when you found out he was working here.”

“I’ll admit I was a bit surprised.”

“He’s nice, and he does a great job. He’s one of the few around here that puts up with my shit. He never complains about it. He just does his job and doesn’t say a word.”

“Then perhaps you owe him an apology.”

“Maybe I do.”

They lapsed into a brief silence before Ash admitted, “I missed you. Even though you always yelled at me.”

“I missed you, too.”

“Did you really, or are you just saying that to make me feel better?” Ash knew he was coming off as pathetic, but what the hell? It wasn’t like he could sink any lower at this point. He’d pretty much hit rock bottom, and there wasn’t any lower that he could go.

Doc ran his fingers through Ash’s hair in a
surprisingly gentle gesture. “I thought of you every day that I was gone.”

“I’m sure you did. You were probably wondering why I was crazy enough to take those bullets for you.”

“No, it wasn’t just that. Believe it or not, I missed my little fireball of energy, and now I come home to find out that he’s burned out on me.”

Ash felt a lump build up in his throat. “What do you want from me? My Hawk might be gone forever. What reason do I have to live now?”

“A lot of people care about you, Ash. We’d miss you if you left us.”

“I’m so scared that I’ll be stuck like this forever,” Ash admitted for the first time ever.

“I’ll be honest. I can’t promise you any miracles, but I do know one thing. If you don’t start fighting, you will be in this chair for the rest of your life. You need to start trying. You can’t continue to sit there and just mope. Most of all, you need to stop this talk about dying. Promise me that.”

Had anybody else said that to him, Ash would have thrown the words back in their faces. But since they came from the doc, the one person who Ash respected most of all, he nodded. “Okay, I promise.”

“And I promise not to leave again. I’ll be here with you every step of the way.”
Ash pulled at the hospital gown. “So, when can I get some real clothes? I’m sick of wearing this shit.”

Featherstone sighed. “You always did have a way with words. If you swear to start drinking and we get you hydrated again, I’ll have Isaac grab something from your living quarters for you to wear. Would that make you happy?”

Feeling as if he’d won a great victory, Ash nodded, “It would make my day.”

“You’ll have to agree to go to physical therapy, though.”

Ash groaned. “I hate it there. I always feel like a piece of meat that’s being thrown around. Plus, it hurts.”

“You want your clothes, don’t you?”

“Fine,” Ash sighed. “But you do realize that you made me promise two things for the clothes.”

“Hey, I have to work hard to get you to cooperate. I’ll have somebody call Isaac right now.”

“Fine, I’ll do it. Does that make you happy?”

“Immensely.”

By the time Isaac came with his clothes, Ash was practically bouncing with excitement. Finally, he was going to get out of the gross-looking gowns. He didn’t even mind that Kallen had to help him get dressed, because Ash couldn’t even do that basic function by himself anymore. All that
mattered that was Ash was finally getting a piece of his old self back, even if was just his clothes.