Divided Souls (Captured Miracle #3) (10 page)

Turning around to gape at him, he chuckled as he spoke. “Dress warmly, love.”

I nodded. “I will.”

***

The island is lovely. It’s not as small as I thought - actually, it’s quite large. It will take much longer than one morning to explore every square foot it has to offer. The land is filled abundantly with conifer trees that are taller than any I have ever seen and the early morning sun has barely risen to its full height in the sky. The mist over the ocean rises like haunting smoke, billowing up over the land like a ribbon of fog that laces itself through the sharp edges of the mountains in the distance.

The forest floor is dense with trees, some thick and others thin - babies in their existence of centuries. The floor is moist and blanketed in mossy green. I know it’s because of the high precipitation the land receives. Even in my booted feet, I can appreciate the soft squishiness of the land I walk on hand in hand with Calix. He hasn’t said much since we came out to explore, but I’ve caught him watching me with a kind of sadness in his eyes I assumed bowed down to the memory of his childhood home, and all that he’s lost. It’s then I realized that Calix didn’t want to take me outside for exploration because of a fear that someone may come along, but rather because he feared the memories that would assault him. The memories he had no armor to protect himself against.

Although my heart ached for his loss, I wanted him to cherish this land and house that his parents left to him - because I wanted him to one day show our child the beauty of this place that is nestled away in its own protected nook of the world.

Bumping his side with mine, I watched his head tip down to look into my face. I spoke softly. “Thank you for this, Calix. This is a beautiful land - truly it’s exquisite. I’ve always wanted to see Alaska, but I never imagined it was so beautiful. I never imagined the water could be so crisp and the trees so tall and the mountains so massive. Thank you.”

His lips curled. “I knew you would love this place, Nova.” He sighed. “I remember watching you, before I ever spoke with you, and you would take such long walks through the trees and forests in the outskirts of Seattle.” He chuckled dryly at a memory and I gasped at the chilling reality of the tortured man I loved. “You lost yourself to the world when you were exploring the nature around you. You were so beautiful - the excitement in your eyes so youthful. I think I was in love with you then, I just didn’t want to believe it. But I remember having thoughts; even then, of bringing you back to this place, here. I hadn’t considered coming back to this island - this house - until you. I wanted to give you a place of beauty and nature you could lose yourself in - lose the pain I inflicted upon you in - but I couldn’t bring myself to come back here. So, I searched for a house that resembled the nature here, and I bought the land I first brought you to - for that reason - for you.”

I didn’t quite know what to say to his admission - I mean, I’d known he’d watched me for two years, but to have watched me in such an intimate way, while I was in my element, with my thoughts, so vulnerable and unaware of this predator of a man - my husband, was frightening. It was chilling in a bone rattling kind of way, but no matter how wrong, I couldn’t summon the desire to pull my hand from his. I’d taken a vow, and however forced, I’d meant every word. In worse or for better, I would stand beside this man.

Pulling in a deep breath, I announced. “I love that land, Calix, and it will always be home to me - but I want this island to be a common place in our lives from here on out. I didn’t know your parent’s, and our child will never know his grandparents - not personally - but I feel like in this land he will understand them, and their appreciation for beauty, just a little.”

I watched his crystalized eyes mist as he gazed down into my face. “I’m so deeply in love with you, Nova.”

“I know.” I smiled softly.

He smiled, reflecting mine. “You said he again. Do you really think we’re having a boy?”

I laughed. “I don’t know if I think we’re having a boy, or if I just really want one - a boy just like you. But, I simply don’t see a little girl in my mind when I think of our child.”

His eyes were soft as he bent his head to press his lips gently to mine. “You know, if we do have a boy, we’re going to have to get on having a girl soon after, right?”

“Oh, really?” He kissed me again.

“Really.” He nuzzled me. “He’s going to need a little sister to protect on the playground.”

“Oh God,” I shook my head. “If he’s anything like you, that’ll get him a few trips to the principles office.”

He grinned. “Am I to take offence to that, love?”

“Not at all.” I giggled, pulling away from his kiss with a deep inhalation of the clean, refreshing air. “I love the taste of this air.”

“It’s the Sitka Spruce.” He explained and I raised a brow.

“What?” I grinned. “Did you just make that up?”

“No,” he shook his head and his blue eyes glimmered. “They are the tallest of the conifer trees in the world. The Sitka Spruce stretch from California to Alaska, love. Their long needles and thick bunches provide excellent roosting places for bald eagles and peregrine falcons.” His eyes were alight with an almost childlike enthusiasm I never wanted to see dim. “They are home and nourishment to many species of wildlife.”

I raised a brow. “You know a lot about them.”

“My dad,” he spoke quietly. “He liked to talk about the land he visited - he liked to learn.”

I don’t know what made me ask the question, but something about the moment felt right and I didn’t hold back. “What happened between your parents and my father, Calix? Why would he,”

“Why did your father kill them?” He sighed, rubbing his brow with his free hand. I could see his indecision clear as day and I worried he’d hold back the information I so desperately needed - the piece of the missing puzzle.

“Please don’t hide this from me anymore.” I begged gently. “I want to be here for you - through everything. I love you and I’m asking you to let me be the strength you need.”

“I,”

“Please.” I whispered. “It won’t break me.”

“You won’t break, love.” He looked to the floor of the forest. “But you’ll think differently, possibly badly, of my parent’s memory.”

“No, I won’t.” I stated with validation. “You can’t possibly believe I would.”

His eyes closed and I watched the pain manifest in the lines of his face as he spoke, all the while with his eyes sealed shut against the judgment he feared in my own. “My parents owned the shipping company I now run. They’d started it from the ground up because they both loved to travel, and they loved the ocean. Together, they managed the small fleet of boats they had. They moved supplies, importing and exporting goods across the border - approved goods.” He pulled in a deep breath. “My grandmother says that three years after they’d built their good standing reputation, they were approached by a high ranking member of the Columbian Drug Cartels who had immigrated to the USA.” A tear slid from his eye to roll down his cheek, and it took everything I had in me not to chase it away. But I didn’t move. I didn’t interrupt him. “In 1976 they began smuggling crack cocaine when their small shipping company became overridden by the Cartel and they were left with little to no choice but to comply.”

There was an ominously heartbreaking silence before he continued again. “They shipped the drug in large quantities from the Caribbean and the Bahamas to Miami where they offloaded it into the Cartel’s hands. Before long, there was a crack cocaine epidemic in the USA and my parents were simply too deep in the mess to step back. At first, the CIA, because of lack of funding had ignored the unknown drug, but when it became apparent that the problem was much bigger than first assumed, it became a national issue. The US Guard was soon involved. In 1985, my mother found she was pregnant with me. By that time, the drug had already been infused into mainstream society when it was made excessively available.” His words were shaking now, but he didn’t stop talking - even though I kind of wanted him to. “In 1992, they were intercepted by the US Navy on route from the Caribbean to Miami. The Cartel had stationed their men on the ship with my parents while transporting such high quantities, and a full out gun war occurred. My parents were killed at the hands of your father on that day.”

Again, I watched in frozen horror as another tear slid from his eye. “The company remained dormant until I decided to take the reins once again in 2004, when I was 19 years old. My parents had left me with a large offshore savings that remained untouched until the day I decided to complete their dreams with the broken empire they gave their lives to build. Since then, I’ve acquired a reputable standing throughout Canada, the USA, Europe, Asia and other countries. The empire my parents began is in good, successful standing, because of me.”

The blood moving through my body was so cold, I felt sick to my stomach. I never thought, for even a moment, that his story would be one to twist my heart so painfully, but it did. The chilling reality shattered a piece of my heart that I knew I would never repair. It would forever be broken for the unfortunate reality his parents, and I am certain so many other souls, had been forced to live through.

I said nothing - because there really were no words for the kind of grief I felt for the pain of the man I loved. Instead, I stepped forward into his chest, holding him close as his body wracked with sobs that chiseled away all the resentment I had held against him for taking me the way he had - until there was nothing left but understanding for the screwed-up way our lives had interwoven.

Fate really had ensured our paths would find one another. Although her methods were tainted with bloodshed and sin - the outcome was a love that could be tried and tested a thousand times and would never be broken. This was something I knew with the kind of certainty one takes to their grave, and I cherished that certainty, as I wrapped my arms tight around his waist, to press my ear to the agonized beating of his heart.

“I love you, Calix.” I whispered. “And I thank your parents for everything in their life, including their sacrifice, because it brought me you.”

His arms moved to hold me tight as he pressed his lips to the top of my head. “I don’t deserve you, love.” His words trembled in sync with the entirety of his body. “But I will never let you go again.”

“Never.” I agreed.

We stood together, locked in embrace, until I felt the warmth of the rising sun break through the overcast clouds hovering above. As I opened my eyes, I took in the beauty of the morning sunlight streaming down like daggers of shimmering gold through the breaks in the Sitka Spruce treetops, as it’s golden light melted through the fog blanketing the land.

Calix shifted against me as he pointed to the sky. “Look, love.” His words caught in his throat. “A Bald Eagle.”

My eyes followed where his hand pointed to the sky and my own breath caught as I memorized the beauty of the large bird gliding through the sky where the sun peered through the break in the clouds. His large wings were stretched wide, like the wings of a welcoming angel as he sliced through the air with Heavens spotlight dazzling his ebony feathers, making them appear, for a moment, coated in gold. And I couldn’t help but think, that if there were a bird I would entrust to carry my soul, the Bald Eagle, in all its massive glory, would be it.

“So beautiful.” I whispered.

“Very.” Calix agreed. And together, we watched the as the Eagle swooped down toward the trees, narrowly missing their tops before gliding out of our sight.

When we began walking back to the house, I decided that now was as good a time to tell him the news I’d been dreading to tell him. I didn’t particularly want to upset him so soon after his revelation about his parents, but I knew that waiting any longer could be damning to us all. So, I tightened my hand around his and found the courage that was trying relentlessly to hide.

“I have to contact Jaylah soon, Calix.”

“No.” He said immediately, without even looking at me.

“I don’t have a choice.” I whispered. “We don’t have a choice.”

“What do you mean?” He stopped walking to face me and I felt my wildly beating pulse climb into my throat.

“I mean that when she promised to help me, she also made me promise to keep in regular contact. I can’t disappear like I did last time, Calix. She made sure of it.”

“How?”

“If I haven’t contacted her by the seventh day I’ve been gone, she will go to our father and tell him everything, Calix.” My voice turned pleading. “Can you please trust her? Can you please trust that I know my sister, and I know she will fight for love?”

“Seven days?” His voice was almost panicked. “She gave you seven days?”

I nodded. “Yes, I’ll have to contact her by tomorrow. I’ve been here for five days and I had a day of travel.”

He rubbed his brow with frustrated fingers. “Nova,” my name on his lips was a disappointed sound that I hated. “I’ll deal with this.”

“No,” I barked when he tugged on my hand and turned toward the house. “No, Calix. We will deal with this. We will discuss what I can and can’t say to her, we will call her together, and everything will be fine.”

His eyes hardened to a frightening shade of blue. “You’ll call her with a disposable pre-paid phone only and your conversation will remain short and to the point. You will not release our location,” his hands dove into his hair and he growled low under his breath. “Fuck, Nova, did you even think about that promise?”

“Why is it such a big deal?” I demanded. “It’s an untraceable phone, Calix.”

He stopped to stare at me with anger in his eyes. “There is no such thing as a completely untraceable phone, Nova.”

“But,” I stammered. “I’ve heard of them.”

“On TV?” He demanded and I immediately felt a blush sting my cheeks. “You can’t believe that shit, Nova.”

“I’m sorry.” I whispered.

He sighed. “We’ll get a phone as untraceable as possible, but anything with a cellular signal has the potential to be traced.”

“How?”

Calix raised a brow at me. “When you make a phone call, even on a phone with an MVNO, a prepaid plan - these prepaid plans have a network they’re operating through. Any call connecting to a network can be accessed and its location can be triangulated. There are ways to make accessing the cellular devices exact location extremely difficult, but difficult doesn’t mean that it can’t be done, Nova.”