Debauched (Undone Book 3) (34 page)

And let’s face it, there’s nothing traditional about kinky, dominant sex. Assuming that’s what Chad’s been secretly giving me all along.

A muscle jumps in his jaw. “And what did you figure out?”

“Gene called me while I was away. He said everyone loved the cover work and he wanted me to do some new stuff. I told him I’d love to, but that I would have to send over a price list for the services.”

His expression goes wide with surprise and what I think is delight. “Good for you.”

“I was nervous.” I’d actually shaken a little, proving to myself how much I undervalued my work. How much I didn’t want to make it a thing, even though it’s important to me. “But he didn’t even bat an eye.”

“That’s because you’re worth it.”

“So I have to come up with a price list and…stuff.” I’m not sure where I’m going to go with this, but somewhere. I can almost touch it—this hazy vision floating through my head—of me, on my own, working for artists in the industry I love, completely independent and on my own terms. I can do it. I have contacts. I know lots of people. I have always believed I had no drive, but I’m pretty sure that’s what’s been burning a hole in my chest since I talked to Gene.

“I’m proud of you.”

Pleasure fills my chest. “There’s more.”

“Tell me.”

“I love you, I know I said it before I left, but I do, in an ‘I need this person to be complete’ way. I’m never happier than when I’m with you. You make me a better person.” I swallow. I believe it, but I still have trouble speaking the words out loud. “I want to be yours. I like that you’re all bossy and dominating. I’ve missed your guiding hand when I was gone. I told my family about you. I was happy to admit to my sister that you had a job, are musically challenged, and wear khakis. My mom is anxious to meet you.”

His gaze is intent, his eyes dark.

When he doesn’t speak, I continue. “I think I needed to step away to realize there’s nothing dismissive or repressive about the way you treat me. That, if anything, being with you empowers me in a way I’ve never felt before. That I like the feeling.” I swallow hard and bite my lip. “I’m assuming none of that will change if we make it official, right?”

“Correct.” He clears his throat. “And it goes both ways. You do the same for me.”

I smile. “Good. That’s what I want.”

“We want the same thing.”

I step a bit closer and let my gaze dip to his mouth. That mouth I’ve missed and I want to claim me in the way only he can. “What would you like to see change?”

His gaze heats. “Nothing really. Except for you to acknowledge that when it comes to sex, I’m calling the shots and that you do what I say. We can change and revise as we go. As a couple.”

My thighs clench. “And what about orgasms?”

A smile twitches at his lips. “What about them?”

A flush crawls up my neck. I’m learning to embrace and accept, but years of conditioning don’t disappear overnight. “Layla mentioned that she can’t have them without permission.”

He puts his elbows on his knees and laces his fingers. “Is that what you’d like?”

I meet his gaze and answer completely honestly. “I want to know what you want. And then I want to do it.”

“What I want?”

“Yes.” I suck in a breath. “I want to give you something. To show my…” I falter on the word but keep going. “My submission. But I don’t know what you want.”

He crooks a finger. “Come here.”

I do, and he clasps my hips and pulls me down. My dress stretches, bunches high on my thighs as I straddle him. He brushes his mouth over mine. “That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

I slide against him, and his erection nestles against me and I finally feel like I’m home. Exactly where I am supposed to be. Where I belong. “I mean it. I want you to see. To work for it.” I furrow my brow. “Does that make sense? I’m not sure where the idea comes from but it’s been there for a while.”

“That’s how you’re wired.” He pulls me down and surges up to meet me halfway. “You want to please me.”

“I do.” My breath kicks up and I put my hands on his shoulders. “So tell me what you want and I’ll do it.”

His expression clouds, his brow knitting and I realize he’s nervous. Scared I’ll reject what he wants.

I kiss him, melding my mouth over his, and just before it turns hot and demanding I pull away. “Please tell me.”

He nods. “All right, I’ve never been much of a rules guy, just choosing to wing it as I go along. Rules shouldn’t be about the rules themselves, but should add value to the relationship and have meaning, and I think we’re still figuring that out. But this is where I want to start.”

“You have my undivided attention.”

“No orgasms unless I say so.”

I have no idea why this thrills me, but it does. It’s been on my mind since the moment Layla brought it up. I grin. “Okay.”

He narrows his eyes. “I know you want it.”

“I do.” I’m done pretending I don’t.

“I want final decision on your outfits whenever we go out, you can give me choices to pick from.”

I pretend to think it over. “That sounds reasonable.”

His expression turns cautious. He clears his throat. “There’s something I’ve been wanting but I’m not sure how you’ll feel about it.”

I trail a path over his jaw. “Try me.”

He takes a deep breath and blows it out. “I want you to move in with me.”

Surprise has my spine straightening. “You do?”

“I do.” He meets my gaze. “I like you in my house. You feel like you belong there and I have hated sleeping without you.”

I can see in his face he’s waiting for me to reject the idea. I kiss him, soft on the lips. “I feel like you’re getting the short end of the deal here.”

“I get you. That’s all I want.”

“I’ll move in with you.”

“Thank you. We have a lot to talk about.”

“We do.”

He squeezes my ass. “But all I really want is to take you home and fuck you in the ass.”

“Deal.” I give no thought to protest. I’ve wanted it, craved it for so long it feels like a need. “I’m ready. And I’m yours.”

“You are.” He kisses me, long and deep before pulling me back. “First, I have to take you on this couch. It’s a tradition and we’re the only couple that hasn’t taken advantage of it.”

I laugh. “Tradition?”

“The arm is just begging to have your body draped over it.” He juts his chin at the end of the rich, leather couch. “I’m going to take you, dig my fingers into your hips as I claim you, and then I’m going to make you scream.”

I groan and sink into him, “Yes, please.”

The desperate, knife-edge of our lust had been satiated back at Brandon’s, and now I’m standing at the edge of Chad’s massive bed, trying to figure out if I’m more excited or nervous. I’ve learned since being with him that they are not mutually exclusive, but I’m not sure which is winning at the moment.

Chad puts his hands on my shoulders and kisses my temple. “Nervous?”

“Yes.” I suck in a breath. I’d lost my panties somewhere along the way, as I’m prone to with Chad around, and I can feel the fullness between my legs, my slippery thighs, still wet from where he’d come inside me a couple hours ago. We’d stayed for a bit, long enough to appease our friends, to tease out the anticipation of the night to come.

He skims his hands down my bare arm, and goose bumps break across my skin in his wake. “This is when you start to learn about what submission is. How it’s going to look for you.”

“How?” I know I want this—what we’ve been playing at all along—but now I don’t know what it means since it’s not hidden away, an off-topic subject we don’t discuss.

His palms slide over the curve of my waist, the swell of my hips, before reaching the skin on my thighs. “This is about surrender. Your surrender to me. Giving me what I want, even if you don’t like it.”

He works his fingers under my dress and dips between my slippery folds. “How your cunt will betray you, because it answers to me, and what I want, not you.”

My heart skips a beat and I sink against him as that throbbing need takes over, pounding through me.

He thrusts his fingers inside as his thumb sweeps over my clit. “You like the sound of that, don’t you? Your pussy desperate to fulfill my every desire. No matter how twisted.”

My breath speeds up—I came so hard over Brandon’s couch I feared I’d never come again—but as always, I’m wrong. Chad knows exactly what to say to me, how to work me until I’m crazy. Unthinking. Nothing but a mess of need and desire and soul-sucking, demanding lust.

He pulls out and slaps me full over my swollen flesh. “Answer me.”

And God, forgive me, it makes me that much hotter. “Yes.”

He roughly grinds the heel of his palm over my pelvic bone, creating a sensation that makes me jolt and bow up to deepen the contact.

“I’ve never been sadistic.” He laughs. Wicked and knowing. “But, Christ, if you don’t bring that out in me. There’s something about all this pale skin, that needy gasp, and the way you beg for more that makes me want to mark you. Make you feel me on every single inch of your skin the next day.”

“Chad.” It’s my turn to lose my ability to speak. I reach up, twine my fingers through his hair. “Please.”

“Please what?”

I’m on the very edge of coming, but somehow he’s managing to stave off tipping over. My mind empties and I surrender to the storm he’s creating inside me and let it carry me away. Peaceful somehow in its very chaos. “I…please.” The words are a pant.

“What do you want?” His voice is gruff, low and deep, filled with all that dominance he’s been repressing for my benefit all this time.

“Everything.”

He stops.

I want to curse him, but press my lips together. Even before tonight I knew that was a bad idea.

He takes off my dress in one swoop, then presses his palm in the small of my back until I lean forward.

“Spread your legs.”

I do without hesitation.

He strikes me, full on the ass, hard enough my vision blurs but I feel it, the gush of heat between my legs. The beast that lives inside me that wants more.

He does it again.

And again.

Harder, faster. It hurts but I’m pushing into him, silently asking for more.

More. More. More.

Abruptly he stops and leans down over my back, his pants rubbing along my fiery skin. He whispers in my ear, “You, and you alone, bring this out in me. I haven’t even scratched the surface of what I want to do to you.”

“Good.” I pant out the word.

He laughs. “Somehow I’d expect nothing less from you, because deep down, Ruby, you are nothing but a greedy little slut, desperate to be used by me.”

If he’d been touching me, I would have come.

That’s how deeply the words shoot through my body and make me throb.

Of course, he’s too smart for that, and his hands are nowhere near any place that tips me over the edge. I grip the comforter, squeezing tight. I shift forward, and suddenly become aware that I can press against the mattress to relieve the ache. I circle my hips, groaning when I find the spot, and without thinking, start grinding away.

“Look at you.” His voice is evil and sinister, he grips my hips and jerks me away right as I’m about to go over the edge. “Did I say you could come yet?”

I gulp and gasp for air. He pushes me down on the bed, flips me over then looks down at me, shaking his head. Then he smiles, like a villain in a movie and it thrills something deep and unnamed inside me. “There’s nothing pure left, Ruby. You’re mine to do with as I please.”

In answer, I just spread my legs and hope he’ll take it as the surrender I’m intending.

He reaches down, slicks his fingers, pulls my wetness between the crease of my ass, his touch circling over my quivering flesh.

I blink up at him and my voice is full and husky when I speak. “What if I don’t like it?”

He shrugs and continues his teasing. He leans down and circles my clit with his tongue.