Read Crowley's Window (Novella) Online
Authors: Gord Rollo
Crowley's Window (Novella) (13 page)
Toni sighed. “How can you think like this, Pam?”
“Because I can’t stand to see him suffering anymore. Don’t you get it? He deserves better than what fate holds in the cards for him…a hell of a lot better, Toni, and I’m willing to do anything it takes…
anything
to end his suffering! For Christ sakes, he’s earned it!” She embraced her sister warmly. “I’m going to do it, whether you support me or not.”
Toni knew it was true, all of it. She even agreed with her sister, but the thought of what Pam had in mind was so painful, all she could do was nod her head and weep. The two sisters embraced, searched for, and finally found understanding, or as near as they were ever going to get. Resolve and the certainty of an honorable ending for an honorable man passed silently between them.
God help us!
Tony silently prayed.
***
Toni opened the front door to see Pam wrapped in her down parka, hood thrown up and arms tight around her chest. She shook the snow off her boots, walked into the house. Her skin tingled as the warmth thawed her.
“Mommy, Mommy, are we going to the store with aunt Pam?”
Toni smiled and knelt to enwrap Robby with a hug, “No honey, just you and I are going today. Aunt Pam has to stay here and…and…” She didn’t know what to say. Pam stepped in to help out, but her hastily chosen words chilled Toni right to the bone.
“…And take care of Grampa.”
“Oh God, Pam! Why don’t we reconsider…” Toni started to say, but Pam knelt down beside her nephew, interrupted her sister’s plea.
“What are you and Mommy going to buy, Robby?” she asked the boy.
“A new sled,” Robby said, so excited he was bouncing up and down, pulling on his mother’s arm. “Highland Toys has got the new Red Rocket Turbo Racer hanging in the front window. It looks like the fastest sled ever made!”
“Wow, sounds like a beauty. You and your mom better get going then, before someone else buys it first.”
Pam pulled Robby in close and hugged him tightly. An internal war waged brutally inside her. Upstairs the man who had sacrificed so that she could have a life lay dying in bed. The time in which she could actually do something for him was fading fast, and in her arms was one of the few treasures she’d ever had in her lonely, messed up life. She hoped Toni realized how lucky she was to have a family of her own. Her eyes brimmed with tears.
“Why are you crying, Aunt Pam?” the young boy asked.
“No reason. One day you’ll understand the kind of crazy things grown ups sometimes do, but I hope you never have to make such choices.” Pam knew he didn’t understand her, but she felt she had to say something. Then the perfect words came to her. “Remember big guy, family is all you have in the end! Now I want you to do what your Mother tells you to, okay?”
“Okay,” Robby said.
Toni clapped her hands trying to fake a good mood. “Head on out to the car, Sweetie. I’ll be right there.” After he thunderously stomped his way out the house, the sisters were alone.
Pam hugged Toni firmly. “Thanks, kid. Don’t worry about anything. Everything is going to be just fine.”
“Are you sure?” Toni asked.
“Positive. Get going.”
Toni kissed her sister on the cheek and hurried out the door before she completely lost her nerve and broke down sobbing.
***
Pam looked at herself in the bathroom mirror, rage burning within her as she thought about her grandmother Doris. It was because of her that her father was tortured in these final weeks of his life. Doris Petigo was in hell screaming steadily if a God existed, and the satisfaction of justice brought a smile to Pam’s face.
Withdrawing the revolver from her dress pocket, she looked in the cylinder: six bullets. She tucked the pistol back in her pocket and hurried down the hall to the closed bedroom door. Without a sound, she pushed it open. She crept to the nightstand, the gun held only inches away from her beloved father’s temple as he slept on, oblivious to his daughter’s presence. Pam could have ended his suffering right then and there, just pulled the trigger and been done with it, but if she did he’d die without ever knowing the happiness and contentment she’d vowed to give to him. Instead, Pam took a deep breath to steel her nerves, and placed the gun down on the nightstand within her father’s reach.
“Wake up you lazy bastard!” she shouted.
Sam opened his eyes, looked up. Fear clutched his heart. “Oh God…it’s you! I’m not lazy, mom,” Sam said. “I’m just resting from all the work I’ve done in the field.” Her cold eyes drilled into him. “I’ll be back at it after supper…promise.”
Underneath, Pam’s heart was breaking, but she reached out and slapped him. “Good for nothing waste,” Pam’s voice quivered and tears stained her cheeks, “I wish you would have died at birth!” Even though merely part of the act, her words stung her to the soul.
“I’m sorry, mom.” Sam sat up. “I’ll do better.”
Why wasn’t he getting angry? Pam didn’t know how long she could keep the facade up. She had had no inkling of an understanding of just how difficult it would be to carry this off.
Sam started to weep. “I wish I could do better, but I’m just a bad boy.”
No Dad!
she thought,
you’re not bad, don’t you understand! We love you, everything you ever did was for us. Do it, daddy, please. I want you to have this. I want to give you a billionth of what you’ve given Toni and me.
Sam began to breathe heavily. “I try Goddamn it! I always try my best, but you’re never satisfied!”
That’s it dad…get angry!
“My whole life you’ve treated me like dirt, momma, and it’s not fair. Not fair, I tell you! Who the hell are you to call me worthless? I hate you! I’ve always hated you!” Sam screamed, shaking with rage.
All of a sudden, the whole thing seemed cruel, but Pam forced herself to continue. It was now or never. There was no way she could go through all this again.
Her hand reached out, and she slapped him even harder across the face. “Good…’cause I hate you too, you good for nothing loser!” She began to bawl, makeup running down her face on the flood of tears. “I’m gonna lock you back in the closet, Sammy! Lock you in there for a week!”
Gritting his teeth, pushed beyond his breaking point, Sam reached for the nightstand. He picked up the revolver, a murderous smile beginning to form on his lips. “The hell you will! I should have done this long ago!”
He pointed the gun at Pam’s chest and pulled the trigger. Again and again, his finger twitched on the trigger repeatedly, violent explosions echoing through the room.
***
Sam was still pulling the trigger of the long-emptied gun, when Toni came home and hour later, a huge contented smile plastered on his tired, ancient face.
“Dad? What are you doing still…I mean, where’s Pam?” Then Toni saw her sister sprawled out on the floor on the far side of the bed, bullet holes and blood everywhere she looked. But something didn’t fit, old-fashioned blue dress, hair dyed brown and cut shorter.
An awful dread clutched Toni’s heart like the hand of death placed gently on her shoulder in a dark and lonely room. In the eyes of a demented man rapidly loosing reason, she must have looked just like Doris Petigo.
“Noooooooooooo!” Toni screamed, realizing what it was her sister had done. “Why Pam…why?”
The world turned upside down then, darkness descending, and Toni fell to the floor unconscious. Sam just kept right on pulling the trigger and smiling, happier now than he’d been in his whole life.
Click! Click! Click!
THE END
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Gord Rollo
was born in St. Andrews, Scotland, but now lives in Ontario, Canada. His short stories and novella-length work have appeared in many professional publications throughout the genre and his novels include:
The Jigsaw Man, Crimson, Strange Magic,
and
Valley Of The Scarecrow
. His work has been translated into several languages and his titles are currently being adapted for audiobooks.
Besides novels, Gord edited the acclaimed evolutionary horror anthology,
Unnatural Selection: A Collection of Darwinian Nightmares.
He also co-edited
Dreaming of Angels,
a horror/fantasy anthology created to increase awareness of Down’s syndrome and raise money for research. He recently completed his newest horror/dark fantasy novel, entitled
The Translators
and can be reached at his
website
or through his agent Lauren Abramo at [email protected].
Connect with Gord at:
http://www.twitter.com/gordrollo
http://www.facebook.com/gord.rollo.5
Join his Mailing List at:
MORE BOOKS FROM GORD ROLLO
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