Contributor (Contributor Trilogy, book 1) (23 page)

"Dara, sweetheart, would you mind getting us some dinner? I'll stay here and work with your mother a bit."

"Okay, Dad," Dara whispered. As soon as she turned her back, she pressed a fist to her mouth, trying to hold back a scream.

Chapter 28

Two days later, it became abundantly clear to Dara that her mother would never be permitted to remain at home. The technician left increasingly terse reports indicating her displeasure with Leona's progress. It was a good thing these visits took place while Dara was at her shift. She felt an overwhelming urge to slap the technician and scream at her that of course Leona wouldn't improve without adequate assistance.

The more she thought about this, the angrier she got. After all her mother's loyal service and her valuable Contributions, Magnum would do no more than feign offering Leona the care she so desperately needed. In fact, Dara now felt a strong conviction that, from the very start, their intent had always been to send her mother off to a facility. These two weeks were simply a means of wearing down the family's resistance to the idea.

They think we'll just give up on her,
Dara thought, as she watched her mother struggle to bring a spoon to her mouth. The smallest tasks now seemed insurmountable for Leona, and it fell to Dara and her father to take care of the apartment, to help her mother feed herself, to help her shower, to do an endless number of things that, in the past, Leona would have been able to do with barely a thought.

Resentment began to flare within Dara, but not at her mother. She would have gladly stayed with Leona, worked patiently and tirelessly to help her mother recover, but she couldn't. She had to get up every morning after a sleepless night and drag herself through a twelve hour shift before going home in the evening to put in another twelve hours working on Leona's recovery.

This is how Contributors are rewarded?

Though Dara worked as hard as she could, she knew it would only be a matter of days before everything overwhelmed her and she began to break down. The absence of Ryan's snide remarks and underhanded attempts to discredit her had decreased the stress of the apprenticeship somewhat, but Javier hadn't let up. He continued to present innovative, intricate solutions to the problems Andersen posed, and Dara knew it wouldn't be long before she'd lose the edge gained by her trip to Zhang.

"We've been assigned a special project," Letizia announced, walking up to Dara's station.

"That's good news," Dara said, trying to muster some enthusiasm.

"We'll meet at my apartment tonight at nine. I need to review the parameters with you."

It was useless to protest, so Dara nodded, and Letizia headed off to another meeting. Chen had become rather scarce of late. Apparently, his connection with Ryan had been disastrous for him.

When shift ended, Dara hurried to find Jonathan. She'd need to race home so that she could shovel in some dinner before going to Letizia's apartment. She hoped fervently that her father didn't have to work late, and that he would be able to handle working with Leona on his own.

"Do you mind if we hurry? I need to go to Letizia's tonight. We've been assigned a special project, and she needs to go over it with me," she told Jonathan.

"Of course I don't mind," he replied. His face creased in concern. "You look exhausted."

"That's because I am."

"Is your mom making any progress?" She could hear the hesitancy in his voice, and she knew he was convinced that Leona wouldn't improve.

"Not really."

"Dara, I know you don't want to hear this—"

"Then maybe you shouldn't say it," she hissed, startled at her own burst of anger.

"I'm saying it because I care about you." His voice took on a hard edge.

"I know you do," she relented. The last thing she needed was a fight with him.

"Did you ever stop to think that your mom might be better off in a facility, where she could receive around the clock care? I know you and your dad are trying your hardest, but this is completely beyond your abilities."

"No, I don't think she'd be better off," Dara said, her temper flaring once more. "You're right, my dad and I aren't doctors. But we love her. Those people at the facility, they'd just treat her like another patient. She wouldn't mean anything to them."

"That's not true at all. It's their job to care for Contributors, and they are every bit as devoted to their Contribution as you are."

"Can we not talk about this right now?" Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes.

"Fine. But please, just think about what I said."

"You ought to know that's all I think about."

He looked unhappy, but he didn't say anything else. When they arrived at her apartment, he gave her a perfunctory kiss on the cheek. As she watched him walk away, she feared she was losing him.

He just doesn't understand,
she thought sadly. Despite his intelligence and generosity, despite how wonderful he had always been, Jonathan just did not see that some bonds were far stronger than the bond between Job Creator and Contributor.

But maybe I can make him see
.

It would have to wait. As much as it pained her, she shoved thoughts of Jonathan aside while she hurried to eat something and gather what she needed to take with her to Letizia's. Joshua assured her that they would be fine, but he couldn't hide the worry lines around his mouth, the dark purple shadows under his eyes. Leona smiled faintly at her daughter.

"Have a nice time, sweetie," she said, her speech slow and deliberate. She looked very pleased with herself when she finished.

"Thanks, Mom." Dara kissed both of her parents and left.

Letizia was waiting with a mug of tea when Dara arrived. As she pressed it into her apprentice's hand, Dara could see the sympathy in her eyes.

"It's not going well, is it?" she asked.

"No," Dara said, setting her mug down. She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "She's...she's like a different person. She seems so detached most of the time, as if she's off in her own world. And she has so much trouble with the most mundane tasks."

"I'm sorry, Dara." Letizia looked stricken. "I wish there was something I could do."

Dara shrugged. "Thanks. I appreciate the thought, but there's not really anything you can do—although it would be great if you just made up the part about a special project so that you could offer me some sympathy and tea."

"I didn't make that up, unfortunately. But it was a useful way to get you here so that I could speak privately with you."

"Oh?" Dara took a sip of her tea, letting it spread some warmth through her. For some reason, she always felt cold lately.

"I'm not sure how you'll feel about this, but what if I sent a message to Raj about your mom? I know he'd be willing to help you."

"Raj?" Dara asked blankly. "How can he help?"

"I don't know. Maybe he can give you some tips or help you understand what the doctors and technicians are telling you." Letizia shrugged, her cheeks pink, and Dara realized that her reaction had made Letizia feel like an idiot.

"Thank you, Letizia. That's kind of you." Dara reached out and placed her hand over her master's.

"I know it isn't much, but I see how this is wearing you out."

"I don't know. I don't want to get him involved, and I don't want you to risk having to send extra messages."

"It wouldn't be any riskier than any other day."

Dara felt a rush of affection for the other woman, and she realized how badly she'd misjudged Letizia. It must be so hard to be Letizia, to have to put on such a charade day after day. Yet, she was actually attempting to make the system better. Her actions were small, and Dara wondered if they ever struck Letizia as futile. Even so, she was doing
something
, which was more than Dara could say.

"His input could be very helpful," Dara said.

"Oh, good." Letizia brightened. "I'll send a message tomorrow. The project will take us a few days, so we'll have more chances to talk here, and I can pass along Raj's response."

"Thank you. You've done so much for me."

Letizia smiled crookedly. "I figured it's the least I could do, since you dragged my sorry rear out of that transport."

Dara laughed, which felt surprisingly good. Between the tea, Letizia's offer, and the laugh, she felt like maybe, just maybe, she could escape her troubles for a little while. As she and Letizia began discussing the project, her thoughts were clearer than they had been in weeks. Even if Raj couldn't do anything for her, Letizia's friendship had.

Chapter 29

"You can do it," Dara said, gently urging her mother on.

"I can't," Leona responded thickly, bursting into tears.

Episodes like these were always the most difficult to endure. Dara didn't blame her mother for her tears—were Dara in her mother's situation, she didn't doubt she'd do a whole lot more crying than Leona. Trying to find a way to help her mother deal with the frustration she felt over her own limitations left Dara feeling helpless and inadequate. Though Leona suffered from some memory loss, she had retained enough to know that her capabilities had greatly diminished. These bouts of depression were typical, Dara and her father had been told during their training course.

"It's okay. Why don't you take a break?" Dara suggested. "I'll finish making the sandwich and bring it to you."

Leona nodded tiredly and made her way out to the living room. Once Leona turned the corner, Dara began disposing of the mess her mother had made. As she scooped up the crumbs of the bread Leona had mangled, Dara let her tears flow unchecked. Frustration and exhaustion had driver her to the edge of despair. It didn't matter that her mother's condition had improved. Her progress was far too slow, and the technician's reports were becoming more and more emphatic. A panicked look had taken up permanent residence on Joshua's face and, no matter how hard he tried to conceal it, Dara knew that he could barely keep it together. If they were forced to send Leona to a facility, Dara knew it would destroy her father.

He had to work late that night, so Dara attempted to go through some occupational therapy exercises with Leona, but they were not going well. She hadn't said a word to her daughter, but Leona was clearly suffering from a crippling headache. Dara had seen her mother wince at the light in the kitchen and, though Dara had dimmed it, Leona squinted all through her attempts to assemble the sandwich. The headache had likely started the previous day and gone on overnight, judging by the heavy bags under Leona's eyes.

As she assembled the sandwich, Dara breathed deeply to calm herself. She splashed some cold water on her face before carrying a tray out into the living room. Her mother had fallen fast asleep, her arm draped over her eyes to block out the weak light of one small lamp. Carefully, Dara set the tray down and sank onto the couch, digging into her own burning eyes with the heels of her hands.

This is so hard. I don't know how much longer I can do this.

Letting her head drop back against the couch, Dara closed her eyes. In the last five days, she had slept a total of seven and a half hours. Without a stew of caffeine and adrenaline to keep her going, Dara knew she would have collapsed days ago.

Her eyes snapped open with a start, and she nearly leapt off the couch as the door slid open and her father stepped into the room. She looked up at him guiltily.

"I just closed my eyes for a second and—" she began, but he waved her explanation away.

"Dara, you have to sleep once in a while. You're not superhuman," he whispered.

Leona was still asleep, and Dara gestured that her father should follow her into the kitchen.

"She's not doing well today. Did she say anything to you yesterday about a headache? She can barely function."

"No, she didn't," Joshua sighed. He reached for a mug, his movements sluggish as he filled it and spiked it with a sweetener pill. Sugar was expensive and hard to come by, and neither of them had the time to do the extra work necessary to obtain the vouchers.

Glancing at the clock, Dara realized she was almost late for her meeting with Letizia.