Changes (12 page)

“Hey Jimmy?” a voice came out from the direction of the living room. It was Brandon and he sounded like he was coming from the answering machine out by the sofa. “It’s Friday man? I thought we were going out tonight?”

Jimmy looked out to the living room from the doorway of the bathroom.

“Give me a call quick. I’m at the club now, O’Leary‘s. If you want to join me, it would be great. Call me?” The phone clicked and the machine beeped.

Slowly he walked out to the living room, and stopped just by the sofa.
I was supposed to meet him tonight.
He stared at the phone on the end table.
How can I go out like this? How can I face everyone with what happened to me?
He couldn’t believe any of it, so why would anyone else?

He turned from the living room and looked back to the bathroom. He could barely see his face in the mirror from where he stood, but what he did see made him astonished.
You look great.
He turned back to the living room, and looked to his right at the bay window.
Who cares what anyone might think?
He looked back to the phone.
What would it hurt to have a drink?
You’re not sick. You look good. You feel great. What the fuck is the problem?
He turned his eyes down to his belly, and could now see his own legs. He could even see his own feet. He looked back up, and took a deep breath. He could have sworn that he could even take in more air. He felt beyond great, he felt downright fantastic. He didn’t feel sick in anyway whatsoever.
I’m fine. I’m better than fine, I’m great!
He now, more than ever, wanted a drink. He felt confirmed. He felt instantly satisfied.

He turned from the sofa and made his way back to the bedroom, went back to the mirror and stared at his naked body. He tried to get his mind to focus on what he saw. The redness of his skin was already beginning to fade, and his body, except for the lack of fat, looked normal. He looked terrific. He also felt better. His heart felt calm. His breathing felt better, so he shook his head.
I don’t care what happened.
He picked up his arms and lifted them over his head. The muscles bulged and stretched. He could notice them easily.
I look fantastic!
He lowered his arms back to his sides.
I feel fantastic!
He turned from the mirror and walked back into the bathroom, stopped at the sink and looked down to the skin on the floor. He bent down, took some of the skin in his hand, and brought it up towards his face. Some of it felt heavy. Some of it felt light, but all of it was there. Every bit of the fat was there, and it all felt so fantastic to see and feel.

He stood back straight and looked to the mirror over the sink, and now wanted a drink more than ever. He turned from the sink, went to the bathtub, and turned on the faucet. If he was going to do this, he had to take a shower first. He had to prepare his mind for all that happened, and a shower, he figured, would do the trick.

When he finished, he went back to the bedroom and quickly got dressed. He put on a pair of jeans and a button down shirt. The jeans didn’t quite fit, so he had to use a belt and go to the last loop to get it to fit right. The shirt was a little tight in the shoulders, but it fit much better than the jeans. He took his favorite dress shoes and slipped them on, but they didn’t fit. They were a little too loose, so he went for his sneakers instead, and tied the laces tight. When he finished, he left the bedroom and went straight to the front door. He didn’t hesitate, and he didn’t stop for anything but his keys.

He left just the same way—quickly. He moved faster than he ever had. He moved with grace and with energy. He never once had to pause to catch his breath. It all felt so wonderful to be alive.

It took him only a few minutes to make it over to O’Leary’s Pub, a small family owned bar in the center of town. It was his and Brandon‘s favorite hangout. He parked his car next to Brandon’s and made his way across the street. He passed several people as he walked up the sidewalk, and noticed all of them turn and watch him move by them. He felt their eyes. He felt their stares. He felt their breathing. He felt
them
. He stopped at the steps, and looked at all of them and sighed.
What the hell are you people looking at?
He almost said, but didn’t. He felt—well—stared at, gawked at, almost
abused
. He had to push the idea aside just to get through the front door. He had to force himself not to think about anything else.

Inside, O’Leary’s looked packed, with people everywhere. The crowd sounded loud. Music played as people talked. Almost everyone turned to him the minute he stepped through the door, and again, he felt their eyes on him, feeling like blades; feeling like daggers. It made him feel uncomfortable. It made him feel—well—somehow nervous. He closed his eyes, and then forced himself to blink, and took a deep breath. The air smelled warm. It smelled—well—floral. It was an odd mix of smells that he didn’t quite understand, or had ever smelled before. It felt like a lot to take in, so he didn’t even try. He just tried to push everything out of his mind, because he didn’t feel like he had the choice. When he turned to the bar that was on his right, he saw Brandon sitting there in the center of it, and went to him without looking at anyone else. It took everything he had to do just that. When he sat down on the empty stool beside his friend, Brandon didn’t even notice him at first.

“Hey?” He looked straight to the bartender who greeted him with a full and strong smile. “Can I have vodka with some seven-up, but be more on the vodka and less on the soda?” He smiled to the young woman half-heartedly, still not feeling like himself at all.
Hell, why would I after losing half myself in the bathroom.
He shrugged, and sighed.

The woman bartender passed him another smile.

He looked at her strongly and could almost feel her heart race and her body grow moist some. It felt so strong, and it made her smell so nice. There was a heavy sweetness around her, and he could smell it. Hell, he could almost taste it. It seemed all so strong.

Brandon looked over to the man that was now sitting next to him, and felt immediately angry for him taking the seat that he was saving for someone else. “Hey buddy, that seat’s taken.”

Jimmy turned to him with wide eyes, and tried to smile, but couldn’t. He just wanted his drink. That’s why he was there, wasn’t it?

However, Brandon recognized him,
somewhat
. “Jimmy?” He felt dumbfounded, almost awed. He had to blink several times just to try to get his eyes to focus straight. He looked like Jimmy, but he wasn’t so sure if he was or not. This guy, the one that looked like his best friend, had a shaved head and a very narrow look to his face. In fact, it looked like Jimmy from maybe fifteen years ago.

“Hey again,” Jimmy answered, and turned back to the bartender who returned with his drink. He stood slightly so he could take his wallet out of the back pocket of his jeans, but felt nothing there as his hand came back empty. It seemed that with his haste to leave his apartment, he had completely forgotten to bring it with him. “Shit.” He turned to Brandon. “Can you spot me a twenty? I forgot my wallet.”

“Jimmy?” Brandon asked again not sure of what to think. He couldn’t take his eyes off his friend, not for a brief instance. He looked so different. He looked so thin and drawn. He just couldn’t believe what he saw. “Is that you?” He laughed, not believing his own eyes.

“Yeah.” Jimmy looked back to the bartender as she pulled the glass away from him to her side of the bar.

She couldn’t help but notice that he couldn’t find his wallet. Seeing that,
hot
guy or not, she wasn’t about to let him take the drink without paying for it first.

“The twenty?” He turned to Brandon again, and raised his voice.

Brandon heard him and nodded. “Sure.” He reached for his money that was sitting next to him at the bar, took a twenty from it, and slid it over to his friend.

The bartender took it, went to the register behind her, and returned the change back to the bar. She smiled again to him as she left.

Jimmy could smell her breath as clear as day. He could even tell that she had a pizza not that long ago. He could smell the cheese. He could smell the pepperoni on her breath.

“What happened to you?” Brandon watched it all, but still couldn’t drag his mind off him. “You all right?” he needed to ask. He had to be sick. He had to have something wrong with him. It seemed to be the only explanation for what he saw. He couldn’t think of anything else for it.

“I’m fine.” Jimmy took the glass and quickly gulped it down, finishing the drink with one solid swipe. The vodka burned as it went down his throat with fire. He shook it off with an equal shake of the head. “Thank you.” He turned to his friend and smiled.

“What the hell happened?” Brandon nodded. He didn’t give two shits about the money or the drink.

“I told you. Nothing happened. It’s been a long week.” He turned back to the bartender. “Can I get another one?” He gave her full smile.

She came back and took his glass. It took only a few moments for her to return with another one, full and complete. She helped herself to the money on the bar, and then left again.

Jimmy could feel her eyes on him. They felt like daggers, piercing his very soul.

“I guess?” Brandon laughed sounding completely half-hearted and full of doubt. He felt completely flabbergasted by what he saw and it showed. “My God? You look like you lost twenty pounds, and what’s with the hair? Did you have a fight with your barber or something?” He laughed again, putting his right hand to Jimmy’s head and rubbed the top of it with an open palm. It felt so weird. It felt recent, the haircut.

“Stop it will you.” Jimmy pushed his hand off him with a simple swing of his left arm. “No, I just had a tough last few days.” He then took another swig of his drink.

The strength in Jimmy’s grab almost blew him away. He not only looked good, but he felt strong as hell too. “Were you sick?” His touch also felt hot. He felt feverish. Concern now showed in his voice for what he felt and now thought.

“Last night,” Jimmy looked at him for only a few seconds, and then turned back to the drink. “I guess.” He swigged it down. He finished it, looked to the bartender again, and tipped her his empty glass. She complied and returned to refill it.

“I guess? Damn man.” Brandon laughed with his voice cracking some from his disbelief. “I told you to change some things, but I didn’t mean that?”

Jimmy looked to his friend and laughed with a hearty, belly-filled groan.

A sound that made Brandon cringe some. “Why did you chop your head like that?” He couldn’t help but notice that there was something very different about his friend. Not only had his face changed, but there was also something very different about his voice as well. He spoke differently. There was something different about his eyes. He couldn’t place it, and he didn’t know where to begin to find out the reasons for it.

Jimmy stopped laughing and turned to his new drink. “I thought that I needed a change,” he lied. How else could he have answered such a question without one? “So what’s new with you?” he changed the subject quickly.

“Nothing as close to what happened with you.” Brandon smirked some as he took a deep and heavy sigh. He had to. He started feeling weak in the knees. He couldn’t believe anything he saw. He felt none of what he heard.

Jimmy laughed again, turned back to his friend, and just over his right shoulder, he could see a familiar face in the crowd behind him. A woman was in the center of the small room, along the bar, and she was facing towards the back of the room. He looked to her and felt a slight amount of anger rise up in his chest. He didn’t expect to see her there, that much was obvious.
What the fuck is she doing here? This is my place, not hers.
He hated it. He despised it. This was his place. This was always his place and not hers.

Brandon noticed that he was looking past him and turned to see whom his friend saw. He of course already knew the answer having seen her there already. He was going to tell him about it, but everything else blew his mind a way. “I was going to tell you that she was here. Your metamorphosis changed the subject.” He smirked.

“Why is she here?” Jimmy heard himself ask. “She’s never come in here before? She always hated me coming here. She hates this place.” Everything felt wrong. She had to be spying on him. She had to be violating his personal space, and he knew it.

Brandon shook his head and turned back to Jimmy. “I told you she’s a bitch.” His smirk grew stronger.

“Yeah?” Jimmy finished his drink.

Brandon heard his friend and felt stunned by what he just heard. Every time he talked about Sally badly before, he always came back with a defense. Hell, it’s why he did it. He loved pushing his buttons, but this time when he got nothing back, it almost floored him and pushed him off the stool. He didn’t expect it, was about to say something about it, but before he could say anything, Jimmy left the bar and passed him out to the floor. He was able to turn around just in time to watch him approach her. He sat there completely stunned by all of it. He also felt completely speechless. Jimmy had always avoided a fight. He avoided it like someone would avoid getting the plague. He wouldn’t do it. He wouldn’t go to her, but here he was doing just that. Everything seemed so wrong about it that he didn’t know what to think, though he was happy seeing him do it. He just couldn’t believe it at first.

Jimmy walked to Sally and the small group she was with, quickly, and stopped directly to her left.

She turned to him and smiled. “Hi?” She saw him come in. She liked what she saw. He looked perfect. He looked wonderful. She only hoped that he would hit on her. Her friends wanted him too, and now that he was standing there, she stiffened and blinked. “Jimmy?” She couldn’t believe it was him. It just couldn’t be. She thought it was someone else. She thought that a hot guy was coming over to her, and just couldn’t believe that it was
him
. “Jimmy, my God?”

He nodded. “What are you doing here?” His eyes locked onto hers. He could see her want for him. He could feel her excitement. She felt turned on and he could smell it. He could also smell the booze on her breaths as well. He could care less for any of what he felt.

“Oh my God?” She felt completely shocked, and it showed. He looked so thin. He looked so completely
hot
and she couldn’t understand anything about it. “You look great!” she almost shouted into the room.

“What are you doing here?” he repeated as his voice growled some. He felt his heart begin to race, his face begin to heat up, and his mind begin to flare. She had no right to be there. She had absolutely no right to come to
his
place.

Sally laughed. “I don’t know? My friends wanted to come and check out the place, and I thought that,”

He cut her off in mid-sentence. “When are you going to get the rest of your stuff?” His eyes began to grow. He was getting more and more angry with every sound of her voice.

Sally felt completely surprised by what he just asked her. “I,” She shrugged her shoulders, completely caught off guard by the question. “I haven’t thought about it much.”
What the hell is wrong with him?

“When?” he shot back. He had no interest in hearing excuses. He wanted action. He wanted everything to be over between them. He wanted to move on, and he wanted it done now.
Why is she here? What right does she have? This is my place. This is my space. Get out! Get out of here! This is mine! This is for me!

Needless to say, she was completely taken aback by everything she heard. It wasn’t like him to demand anything of anyone, least of all to her. It wasn’t like him to want to pick a fight. “Tomorrow?” she asked, feeling her heart rise up in her chest. She could sense the anger in his voice. She could hear it as plain as day. She didn’t like the sound. It made her nervous. It even made her a little scared.

Hearing her answer, he nodded, satisfied. Feeling the heat rise in his chest, he knew that it was time to stop. He was getting angry, and he didn’t like it. It wasn’t worth it.
She
wasn’t worth the effort. He blinked, and swallowed the heat back down in his chest. It felt hard to do, but looking around her, at her friends and seeing the looks on their faces, he was able to accomplish it.
They’re afraid of me.
He could sense their fear. Their hearts were racing. He knew what it meant. He was making a scene. He was picking a fight. He had to regain his control and fast. He felt satisfied, and there was nothing else left to say about it, so he turned around and made his way back to the bar. He retook his stool next to Brandon, took his glass, and lifted it to the bartender to have another one.

Brandon watched him sit. He didn’t hear anything of what his friend and his ex-girlfriend said, but by seeing Sally’s face, and what he saw happen, it more than just surprised him, it almost blew him out of his mind. “What was that about?”

Jimmy took his now full glass. “It was nothing.” He sounded very matter of fact. He had nothing else left to say about the matter as far as he was concerned. He accomplished what he set out to do, and that meant it was over.