Between Darkness and Light Trilogy (38 page)

The Emperor nearly chokes. “Do you think she
honestly doesn’t know?”

“I’m certain of it. She said she didn’t want
any of our other men to be her father because, well, she is a very
emotional young woman and her feelings have been hurt deeply by the
lack of an acknowledging parent. Even the Nebulaeans distrust
her.”

“You interrogated her in her sleep, I
assume?

“Of course, as I have them all.”

“What did you learn of her origins?”

“Her homeworld is interesting. It is never
completely dark and their sun is extremely intense. Consequently
the natives have very dark complexions, all except for Shi'ahn,
William, their mother whom I did not recognize, and a group of
people living deep underground in the southern polar region.”

“What of her father?”

“She has no image of him in her mind – she
vaguely remembers some unremarkable man leading her mother away,
but that individual is of no significance to her.”

“Do you think then that the woman could be
her Nebulaean ancestor?”

“It seems the most likely conclusion, the
woman's complexion is evidence of remarkable resistance to the
solar radiation. Their line is different from ours; it's possible
that there simply isn't a father in the normal sense. It wouldn't
be the first time, for them.”

“Indeed. Did you learn where her Shiral is
located?”

“As I said, their night sky is never dark,
certainly not dark enough to see stars. I accessed an encounter in
their Lunarium, but did not gain sufficient evidence, our computers
were not able to identify even a single planet that matches the
available data.” When misdirecting someone, especially someone like
the Emperor, one must stick to the truth as much as possible, and
he had, indeed, just spoken the truth. No need to mention that a
certain double star in the exact center of the Universe is the only
possible match; it would raise too many questions.

“Anything else noteworthy to add?” Lucian
pauses, purposely appearing unsure as whether or not to continue.
“Out with it son, I know you have more to say.”

Tell him what he will accept. “I felt sorry
for her, so I took her for a short walk in the forest within.” The
Emperor looks displeased, but says nothing. “I let her curiosity
guide us, and we ended up at the Circle of the Nine Seraphim. She
walked within the circle as though there was nothing blocking the
way. The old one brought her out, and surprisingly wasn't the least
bit upset by the trespass.”

“Had you told the girl not to go
within?”

“Why would I have – it isn't possible. It
shouldn’t have been possible.”

The Emperor scowls in thought. “I don’t like
this, I need to know more.”

“I believe Shi'ahn simply does not possess
the knowledge you seek.”

“Then turn to other sources. One of which is
her computer. It isn't right that she has managed to lock us all
out. I don't care what it takes, access it! Then…” Lucian listens
with concealed displeasure to his Emperor’s orders. His father
pauses, and then continues in a thoughtful tone. “In trying to have
a bit of fun, you have placed Shi'ahn in a situation that is sure
to cause the others to feel slighted, possibly even quite insulted,
and they'll take those feelings out on her. This should be
interesting to watch play out.”

Lucian says nothing as he respectfully
leaves the Emperor’s presence, yet hatred blooms in his heart, for
he is incapable of refusing his father’s carefully worded orders.
He embraces the hatred, for that his father can understand, while
he ruthlessly withholds his elation that the Emperor did not see
through the deception, did not realize that Lucian had learned a
great deal more about Shi'ahn, William, their world and their
parents. He also managed to pass on none of the catty and, in some
instances, downright hateful comments from a couple of her fellow
travelers. He feels quite justified in that, as he is certain their
dislike is misplaced. Information from Celeste was key in helping
him reach that conclusion.

Chapter
21

Anger

Lucian returns to my rooms in the morning,
sharing another breakfast with me.

“Shi'ahn, is there anything else, anything
you can recall that would be a useful addition to my final
report?”

He looks so hopeful… I redouble my efforts
to dredge up any additional memories that could help shed light on
‘the Nero issue.’ “Well… I suppose I can admit that during our
discussions of who could truly be responsible, it was I who
initially suspected you.”

He actually smiles, “You did?”

“Yes, but… oddly, Casanova defended you,
quite adamantly.”

“That’s interesting, why? How did he justify
that?”

“He said… well, much of what he said of you
was not particularly complementary, but he swore that you were
truly devoted to Lumina, and that you would not do anything to
endanger her. He said that it would take a direct order from the
Emperor for you to do something so foolhardy, and that the Emperor
would never order the killing of the Magni Dominar because that
would eventually endanger his reign. He did say something odd
though, that you were simply incapable of disobeying the Emperor.
When I asked him to explain, he said something about the Emperor
having placed an unusually strong oath upon you because you are
such a dangerous individual. I didn’t feel that was a very good
explanation, but I was sure he wouldn’t elaborate in front of our
Chaos companions.”

“Wise of you. Shi'ahn, he was telling the
truth, to an extent, and I suppose it makes sense that he would
have thought it through. You see I was the first child my father
created after Edward, Casanova’s father, disappeared. He had made
Edward the perfect warrior; extremely intelligent and skilled in
all ways of war, and tremendously charismatic. The charismatic
trait, I believe, he added to give Edward an edge over Maximus.
Edward ‘disappeared’ soon after starting a movement to have
Vespasian displaced as heir apparent. After that, Father became
extremely cautious; none of us born thereafter is capable of
denying or betraying him or his rightful heir when the throne
passes. It wouldn’t be so bad, I suppose, if he were a better man,
but Vespasian… I hope to reach the end of my days before he can
become my master. Whether I like it or not, you may rest assured,
Shi'ahn, that I will never take any action to endanger or
countermand my father.”

“Wait a breath… you mean to say that
Casanova is older than you?”

“I did tell you, after your first family
feast, that he was not as young as he implied. Physically, at
least. His reputation was well established before I was born. It
has changed little.

~~~

Lucian pauses in thought, then continues,
“Shi'ahn, I have shared some rather personal information with you,
and, if you don't mind, I'd like to ask you a personal question or
two.”

“You may ask.”

He smiles, knowing full well that I haven't
promised to answer. “You have said several times that all life is
sacred. I do not understand – if you believe such a thing, then how
can you justify eating meat? For that matter, how can you justify
eating anything at all? Do you believe that if someone else kills
it, it is already dead and therefore no longer sacred?”

“No, no, I'm not so shallow. All life is
sacred, but not all life exists for the same purpose. Some exist to
rule while others to serve. Some have great purposes, a destiny, so
to speak, while others sacred existence is ultimately to nourish
others. I have killed lesser creatures to sustain myself, but never
just to kill. Killing without utilizing the prey for some greater
purpose, for the sustenance or preservation of oneself or others,
is sacrilege. When one does kill, it should be done as painlessly
as possible, and either thanks given to the creature for its
contribution, or a blessing to help it return as a more noble
being.”

“So some are born to rule and feed on lesser
beings, while the lesser beings exist only to nourish others?”

“No, ultimately we all decay to nourish
others, that is the Circle of Life. Some merely have more to
accomplish before they are allowed to rest.”

“Yet those who rule have precedence over
those who serve, so the rulers may do and ultimately kill whom they
wish?”

“No! It is a duty of each ruler to correctly
identify the sacred purpose of others, if the individual is not
able to do so for herself, and to protect and ultimately aid him or
her in fulfilling their destinies.”

“You make ruling sound almost like
serving.”

“When done correctly, ruling is the ultimate
service.”

“And what is your calling – do you exist to
rule or to serve?”

“I live to serve.”

“Exactly whom do you serve?”

“Everyone and everything – the Universe
herself is my mistress. I swear to you though, that I would never
do anything to betray Lumina. I am a child of Lumina, a descendant
of Cailli herself – I would never betray her.”

“What about the Magni Dominar? Would you
have found removing him a service to Lumina?”

“NO!!! I've already told you – inter-realm
war will cause devastation to the Universe! I would never
precipitate such a thing!”

“So, you serve your Universe much like I
serve the Emperor; we cannot act against those we serve.” He leans
forward and takes my hands in his. “Now I must ask you again, can
you recall anything else that would make a useful addition to my
report?”

He looks so hopeful; again I search my
memories, but… nothing. I shake my head. “I’m sorry, Lucian, but I
honestly can’t think of anything else significant.”

“Well, I suppose that’s it then.” I feel a
surge of warmth from him, almost as though he holds not just my
hands in his, but that he holds me gathered into his protective
arms; then he lets go my hands and his expression turns odd, tinged
with regret and loss.

“Lucian, is something wrong?” I hate to see
such an expression on his face, I have come to enjoy his smile and
sparkling eyes, but this look… something is terribly wrong. His
face then hardens, and I once again look upon the dreaded face of
Lucian the tormentor.

~~~

“I must admit, Shi'ahn, that this has been
the least challenging interrogation I have ever conducted; but now
it is nearly concluded.” A dagger of pain stabs through my heart as
he continues, “You are far too trusting and simple, Shi'ahn. Did
you honestly believe that I was that interested in the particulars
of your life – just because I seemingly liked you? Haven’t your
recent experiences taught you anything? I am truly disappointed in
you. I would have expected you to be far more cautious in trusting
suspicious behavior after what happened in Chaos!”

“But you taught me so much!”

“I was testing your knowledge, or in your
case, your lack thereof. It's almost amazing what you will believe.
Dense indeed! In the past you had correctly identified me as a
cruel, untrustworthy bastard, and yet in these last few days you
have allowed me to become your confidant, and have consistently
allowed physical contact, even while we discussed personal issues.
You should know from your experience with Cas Lydia how dangerous
that can be; it leaves your mind completely open to a superior
intellect. Defenseless. Since you appear to be a very slow learner,
let me help you remember the lesson now. I want you to think on
this – because of your trusting nature and the lack of
observational skills of each of you on your trip to Chaos, you are
each partially responsible for every single death that will occur
during the war that has already begun. In fact, given that you were
the only one in good placement to carefully observe 'Nero', you are
more at fault than any of the others. Think of it – billions of
lives could be lost on each of the worlds that become involved… and
there are so many populated worlds in the multitude of galaxies in
our realm. Chaos is boiling over in fury, destroying all they can
of our realm, and it’s all to a rather significant degree, your
fault.”

~~~

How long have I been staring at the door he
closed behind himself? I can’t believe it! How could I have trusted
him again, after what he let Lydia do to me while he stood right at
my side?! I’m such a fool… and he is the ultimate bastard for
taking advantage of me! I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I wasn’t
trying to hurt anyone, I just wanted… I wanted to feel like family,
like I belonged to something greater than myself. He was so nice,
so kind, thoughtful and comforting, I'd even begun to feel… But no,
I should have known; the name of ill omen should have been a
warning. Lucian, Lucifer, tormentor of all those not worthy. Echoes
tend to run true, my brother said. I’m such a fool… and now, even
though I did nothing wrong, I carry the weight of countless deaths
upon my soul. I hate that man; I will never forget this lesson! The
dagger he thrust into my back will remain forever.

~~~

I seethe in angry darkness for ages,
surrounded, engulfed in shockingly impressionistic music that
screams of pain. Eventually the harmony of reason enters my song -
what am I doing? Wallowing in anger and betrayal only makes it all
worse; I need to distract myself from the pain. Easier thought than
done, what can I do in this gilded prison? Playing the instruments
wouldn’t help at all… and I no longer wish to read his books, or to
enjoy anything that he has provided me with here. I feel an impulse
to tear off my clothes and burn them, but with my luck the beast
would stop by again just to shame me further. What do I have that
he didn’t give me? The clothes I returned with, my beautiful dragon
dress and my riding pantsuit disappeared while I first slept here.
I still have my transport crystal… but using it would further anger
the Emperor to be sure. It would not serve Gaea well at all if I
were to contact her in my current state. My power siphon ring!
Cailli herself called it a good distraction; maybe this is what she
meant it for. Actually attaching it to something might upset the
Emperor, but if I just use it to explore – what possible harm could
that bring?