BENCHED (7 page)

“She’s fine,” Phoebe says.

I walk into the kitchen and set down the bag.

“What happened to eating healthy?” Phoebe says, going through the snacks.

“I find cheese curls are the best thing for a joint injury.”

She glares at me.

“She needs it, trust me.”

I pop open the bag and offer her one.

“So do you. Here.”

Phoebe looks at the cheese curl like it’s been handed to her by a leper, but eventually snatches it and tucks it between her teeth. We stand crunching for a few minutes.

“Go sit with her. I’ll make dinner and bring it out to you. Nothing huge.”

Phoebe gives me a silent nod, and walks out of the room. Her shoulders slump and she looks so
tired
. The urge to reach out and put my hands on her is overwhelming, but I hang back and stay in the kitchen.

Pork chops are quick enough. I plate them up with some kid food, mashed potatoes and boxed macaroni and cheese that I grudgingly allowed Phoebe to keep in her kitchen, and carry it all out.

I don’t want to crowd them on the couch, so I sit on the floor and eat, silently watching cartoons with Phoebe and her little girl.

After eating ice cream and dinner and a second round of ice cream, Carrie is getting droopy.

“I’ll get her,” I volunteer, as Phoebe moves to carry her upstairs.

We both take her to her bedroom. I step out after I lay her on the bed and let her mom set up the pillows propping up her leg and tuck her into bed.

“Mom?” Carrie yawns.

I leave them alone. Downstairs, I turn down the television and sit on the couch, listening to Phoebe’s voice. It’s too soft to hear what she’s saying, but from the cadence of her words, she’s reading her daughter a story.

By the time Phoebe comes down the stairs, I’m a little sleepy myself.

She flops on the couch and doesn’t say anything for a good long while.

I glance at her but don’t break the silence. She’s still visibly upset.

“Tough kid. She’ll be fine.”

Nothing. Phoebe is still quiet. Then she says, “What’s up with the car?”

“What?”

“I want to talk about something else.”

“Oh. It was my mom’s.”

“You still drive it.”

“Yeah. The Ferrari is just for joy rides. Wish I’d never bought the thing. You know what an oil change costs?”

“A lot,” she says, dryly.

“Yeah. Oldsmobile’s more reliable anyway.”

“Weird to see a guy with all your money driving a car like that.”

“Yeah,” I shrug. “Guess you figured I’d have a Bentley or whatever, right? Something flashy and trashy.”

“Is a Bentley trashy?”

“Trashier than a Rolls. I don’t think any of that shit makes you look like anything but an asshole with more money than brains. Obey the speed limit and a $500,000 car and a $5,000 car get you there at the same time.”

“If you obey the speed limit,” she says, a droll touch to her voice.

“I like to drive fast.”

She chews on that for a while, then says, “Why?”

“I’m not sure.” I shrug.

“There must be a reason. What else do you do?”

“Exercise. Eat. Sleep. Football.”

“What about all your girlfriends?”

“They’re not my girlfriends.”

“Oh, so you just sleep with famous women.”

“Not usually. Most of them aren’t interested. I just pick up some bimbo because Lou told me to take her to dinner, then drop her off and don’t bother with her again.”

“Who’s Lou?”

“My agent. You saw him in court.”

“Yeah. Him,” she says coldly.

“You have a problem with him?”

She looks at me and scowls. “He threatened me. My career, my kid.”

I sit up. “What?”

“He said if I like giving out tickets so much, he’ll make sure I never do anything else. He also said he wonders how I take care of a little girl with no one else around to help me with her. He said child services might wonder, too.”

I straighten in my seat and she flinches. Rage pounds in my chest, burns in my lungs, and through my veins. My hands clench into boulders and my shoulders knot up. I’m on my feet already.

“He said that?”

“Yeah, why?”

“He and I are going to have words.” I reach in my pocket for my phone.

She grabs my wrist. “Don’t bother. I don’t care. He doesn’t scare me. Sit down.”

I blink a few times, then let go of my phone and sink back into the couch. I like this couch. I just wish the back was taller.

“I can concentrate,” I say

“What?”

“I like football, exercise, and driving fast because I can concentrate. Forget shit. I have a lot running through my head.”

She nods. “Yeah. I get that. Focus. Worst part of my job is between tickets when there’s nothing to do but sit and think.”

“Can’t you do something else?”

She shrugs. “The guys fuck around when they’re on traffic duty, but I don’t. Feels wrong.”

“So you sit there and think.”

“Yeah.”

“About your husband?”

She gives me a sharp look.

“I don’t want to talk about that.”

“I saw the ring. Just wondering.”

“You know, I overheard Carrie telling you.”

I sigh. “Yeah. Hard being on your own?”

“I’m not on my own. I have my little girl.”

“Right, I mean…”

“I’m not going husband shopping if that’s what you’re implying.”

“It just seems like a lot for one person.”

She scowls at me. “So what are you trying to distract yourself from? Something in a hospital, right?”

I flinch. “How did you know?”

“I’m a cop. You ever read Sherlock Holmes?”

“Yeah. Don’t look shocked I read a book.”

She glances over her shoulder. “How many stairs do I have? You’ve been up there what, twice now?”

“I don’t know. I never counted them.”

“Exactly. You’ve seen them, but you didn’t observe. I’m a cop. I observe. It’s nine, by the way. The stairs. Nine.”

“Right. Okay, you got me. I had a bad time in a hospital once. Well, more than once, but you know what I mean.”

She nods. “I’m surprised.”

“By what?”

“You’re human. I thought you were just a giant walking dick.”

I snort. “Right.”

She works her jaw as if chewing something, and speaks without looking at me. “Thank you for your help. I appreciate it. You got to her so fast. She adores you.”

“Just hero worship. I hope I don’t let her down.”

“I didn’t think you cared.”

“I didn’t used to.”

She nods. “I hope she doesn’t start hating football now. You know how kids can be.”

“She won’t. She’s too tough. Weird they let the girls play, though. Not like they can keep going.”

“That will take care of itself. You still drive your mom’s car and something bad happened to you in a hospital.”

I look at her.

“Sorry. Cop. I looked you up and there’s nothing. Official team bio and all that crap starts when you’re in college. Says you went on scholarship. Nothing about any family.”

“I have a dad. Don’t talk to him.”

“Where is he?”

“Prison,” I grunt.

“Oh.”

I watch her. The wheels are turning in her head. I can see the thoughts bubbling behind her eyes.

“I don’t like to think about it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. You want help with your dishes?”

“No. I’ve got it. You can go.”

I rise to my feet, and she walks me to the front door.

“When do you leave for work?”

“I have to be in by eight.”

“I’ll be here at seven thirty.”

“What?” she says. “Why?”

“Watch the kid for you.”

“I’ll call my sister.”

“Don’t trouble her. I don’t have anything better to do, remember? She’ll probably sleep all day anyway. I just have to sit on the couch. It’s not a big deal, that’s all I’d do over there.” I point my thumb at the house next door.

She bites her lip. “I’m not sure I…”

“Seven thirty.”

“Look. This isn’t going to get you a date.”

“I don’t expect anything from you.”

She sighs, and blows the hair out of her eyes. “Fine. Seven thirty.”

“Yeah.”

The door closes behind me and I trudge back to my rented house, open the door, step inside, and flop down on the couch. I flip channels for a while, but nothing on television can ever pull me out of my own head.

Truth is no matter what I say, I do want something in return. The way she was smiling today.

Be nice if somebody smiled like that for me.

P
hoebe

T
his morning
, I found Carrie lying awake when I got up, probably because she went to bed so early last night. After helping her to the bathroom and wiping her face down with a wash cloth, I put her back to bed where she was still lying when Alexander knocked on the door.

He filled the whole damn door frame, standing in sweat pants and a T-shirt, carrying a McDonald’s bag.

“I brought Egg McMuffins,” he announced and carried them through the door.

How he knew they were Carrie’s favorite, I have no idea. She is a kid, after all; maybe he just guessed.

As I drive home after my shift, I suck in a breath. His car is parked outside his rental and there’s no sign of any reporters or anything. The story is probably cold by now.

Something is bugging me. I’ve been training myself for years to listen to my instincts, to trust my gut reactions to things. Ignoring that could get me killed. Traffic stops are still dangerous. I’ve had someone try to run me down twice, and once I searched someone passing through town and busted them for heroin and an illegal pistol.

So when my gut tells me there’s something funny going on around my house, I listen to it. I circle the block twice, trying to find the source of the itching on the back of my neck.

When I pull out of my driveway and step out, I find it. As I slap the Tahoe’s door closed, an orange Volkswagen hatchback, parked up the street, starts up and pulls away, rolling down my block.

I wave, but the driver doesn’t spare me a glance. My cop eye takes in all the details. The plate number, make and model of the car, and her description. She’s skinny, has mousy hair in a ponytail, and wears oversized glasses. She never once looks at me even though I’m a cop in uniform and I am very pointedly looking at her drive by, following her down the street with a turn of my head.

I chew my lip for a moment, thinking. Her plate number and the make and model go in my notebook, just in case. She doesn’t live on this block, and I’ve never seen her before in town. Ohio plates.

Probably nothing, but it pays to be alert.

In the house, I find Alexander sitting on my couch, half asleep with his chin drooped onto his chest. He perks up when he sees me.

An inviting scent wafts from the kitchen, and my stomach rumbles. Loudly. A blush heats my cheeks as Alexander smiles at me.

“Hungry?”

“Long day and I skipped lunch.”

“Go get changed and we’ll eat. I’ll help Carrie down the stairs.”

I’m halfway up the stairs before I realize that he doesn’t tell me what to do, but by then it’s too late to snap at him. Resigned, I stop in my daughter’s room first.

“Hi, honey.”

She looks up from her book. “Hi, Mom.”

“How are you feeling?”

“It hurts,” she says. “Feels better today.”

“No school tomorrow, either.”

“I’m bored.” She pouts. Hard.

“Tomorrow you can sit in the living room. We need to make sure you heal up right. Almost dinnertime. Let me change and I’ll get you downstairs to eat.”

By the time I’ve slipped out of my uniform, put up my gear, and changed into something comfortable, Carrie is halfway down the steps, leaning on the wall. I rush down and take her arm and steady her when she reaches the bottom.

Alexander spots her, walks over, and sighs.

“What did I say, kiddo?”

She looks abashed. “I don’t want to lay around all the time.”

He picks her up and sets her on the couch.

“You need to rest so your foot gets better. Sometimes you have to do something you don’t want now, so you can do something you want later.”

“Okay,” Carrie sighs.

“Help me out in the kitchen, Phoebe,” Alexander says.

I bristle a little at him giving me a command in my own house, but I follow him anyway. He’s got stew bubbling in a pot on the stove, rolls in the oven, and by the looks of things, he made it all himself.

“You really cook like this at home.”

“I don’t exercise every minute of the day. During the season, I make it in bulk and stick to simple shit. Rest of the year, I like to cook.”

“Where did you learn?”

“My mom.”

I nod. “What is this?”

“Beef and barley stew with vegetables.”

“Carrie hates vegetables.”

“She said she’d try it if I puree them. Let’s eat on the couch.”

He ladles out big bowls of the stew and puts them on plates with the rolls. It all smells so good. My mouth actually starts to water, and my stomach growls angrily. The blush is even hotter this time. Alexander smirks at me and carries out a tray to rest on Carrie’s lap.

He sits on the floor. I scoot to the middle of the couch and pat the side where I usually sit.

Alexander takes my spot and the way he sinks in makes me fall against his side. I can feel him breathing, his massive body expanding with every breath.

Carrie’s eyes light up when she tastes the stew. She eats hungrily, pounding down a second bowl after she empties the first.

Alexander grins proudly. “So you like it, huh?”

She nods, vigorously, then burps. Loudly.

I suppress a laugh, and try to scowl at her, but I ruffle her hair instead and put my arm around her shoulders. She leans against me and I sink into the couch, warm and surrounded.

Alexander lays his arm across the back and my head falls against the crook of his elbow.

I freeze. So does he. I feel him holding his breath, wondering what I’ll do next.

His skin is warm, and he has an earthy,
manly
smell I haven’t known in a long time. The feel of another person’s skin, a man’s skin, is so far gone from me, I forgot I ever knew what it felt like.

Alexander shifts his arm down a little, until he has it around my shoulders. I should say something, but I’m pressed into his side, overwhelmed by his heat and scent and sheer size.

Carrie starts to snore, then abruptly pops her head up.

“Can I go back upstairs now?” she says and yawns.

“Yeah,” I say, shaking loose of Alexander. “Come on.”

I help her up the stairs and into the bed and sit with her a minute.

“Alex likes you,” she says.

“I can tell.”

“I mean like, like,” she says in a soft, conspiratorial tone.

“Did he say something,” I ask, anger bubbling up in my voice. If he thinks recruiting my kid will help him into my pants…

“Nah, uh. He didn’t say anything about you all day. Promise.” She’s telling the truth. I just know.

“What did he say?”

“He told me stories. About football.”

“I’m sure you loved that.”

She nods vigorously. “I’m bored, Mom. When can I go back to school?”

“We’ll see where you are tomorrow, and if you’re ready, you can go on Friday, okay?”

She nods. “Okay.”

“Get some sleep. Sleep will heal you up so you can walk again.”

I kiss her lightly on the forehead and turn off her light. It’s early, but she’ll be out like a light. After that stew, I don’t know how anyone could stay awake.

Alexander is still on my couch. I sit beside him. He looks at me and his arm shifts on the back of the couch. His fingers brush my shoulder. My heart starts to speed up.

It’s been so long since I’ve felt like this. The anticipation, the quiver in my stomach, the light feeling in my limbs. The sense of him next to me in all his hugeness.

I’m trying to watch television. Why am I not throwing him out of my house? I can’t stop thinking about how big he is, about the body under that T-shirt. When I glance at him, I can see the outline of his muscles. The soft worn fabric clings to his chest as he breathes, bunches up around his arms and under his huge shoulders.

Then I realize he’s looking at me the same way. I shiver, like I’m just waking up and I stepped into cold water. He’s trying to look like he’s watching TV, but his eyes are all over my body. All at once, I become conscious of the way my shirt is pulled tightly across my chest, and the shorts I chose for lounging around leave my legs bare.

Oh my God, I’m full on staring at him now. I keep looking down, my eyes sliding down his hard flat stomach to the bulge between his legs. His hand slides down between my back and the couch, and his palm settles on my hip.

Alexander pulls me close against his body, and leans over. He’s so much bigger than I am that I look
up
at him seated next to me on the couch. I crane my neck back as his face fills my vision and his breath tickles my lips.

He kisses me. Softly, tenderly, too gently for a giant, like he’s afraid to press too hard.

I press into him hungrily, tasting him. His eyes shoot open when I suck on his tongue. Alexander locks his arms around me, lifts me bodily from my seat on the couch, and drops me on his lap. His huge arms wrap around me, binding me to his chest. I twist and shift until I’m straddling him, heat throbbing between my legs as I grind on his stomach.

His big hand cups the back of my head and holds me still, and he kisses me harder this time. Heat floods my flesh, dances a fluttering beat in my chest, throbs in my loins.

I push down, pressing my ass between his thighs, and I feel him hardening. His cock is already huge to begin with and gets bigger with every beat of his heart, stiffening with every throb until it’s so hard, it feels like he could just thrust right through our clothes into my body.

His mouth is hot on my throat, his hands rough and warm on my skin. One skims up under my top, the other into my shorts, gliding over my ass. He growls when he squeezes my rump, like an animal in heat. Alex’s stomach tenses and I feel little involuntary thrusts shaking his body, grinding his cock against me.

I want it. I want him. I want to get
fucked
. Hard.

He turns and drops me on the couch and when he pins me down, a wild thrill runs through my body. I squirm but he wraps his arms around me and kisses me, lying on top of me with one foot on the floor. I wrap my legs around his waist and squeeze, pulling him into my body. If we didn’t have clothes in the way, he’d be inside me. His thumb flicks my nipple and I cry out into his mouth. He swallows the sound.

I shove my hand down his sweats and grab his cock. God, it’s huge. The thought of taking him almost scares me, but I’m so excited, I can’t help it. I stroke him, fingering the waistband of my shorts as if I’m going to pull them down. No, I’m almost pulling them down.

Then he jerks my hand away from him and pins them both to my sides. He lets go and yanks my shorts down. My bare ass presses into the couch, and my heart wants to explode out of my chest with every beat.

He’s going to do it, he’s going to fuck me now, do it,
do it…

Alexander shoves my top up, baring my breasts. I arch my back as he takes my nipple into his mouth. I roll and pop my hips, silently begging him to take me, fill me, tame me.

“Please,” I beg him.

He rises, and I feel his stomach slide against mine. He’s so big.

“I have to tell you something,” he whispers in my ear. “It might scare you.”

“Tell me.”

“If you fuck me, you give up control. You don’t tell me what to do. I decide when you get my cock. I decide when you come. You’re mine or you get nothing.”

I swallow hard. I should be angry. I shouldn’t want some man commanding me, ordering me around, treating me like I’m begging for a cookie, but… fucking
hell
, that turns me on.

“I’m the boss. You just let go. I’ve got you.”

I’ve got you.

I press my lips shut, and he sucks my nipple, hard. I groan and buck under him, my hands running up his sides. I try to grab his cock again but he takes my wrists and pins them down as he works down my stomach, leaving a hot trail of kisses across my flesh until I feel like I’m boiling from the inside out.

His lips brush my mound and I make a hungry, almost animal sound of desire. Yes. Please.
Please.

He sits up suddenly and I start to talk, but he presses his finger to my lip to silence me. The look on his face when I suck on the tip sends a thrill up my spine. He could smash the couch fucking me and I’d love every minute of it.

Alexander slips his hands under my armpits, lifts me bodily from the couch, and slides me up so my head falls on the arm. He grabs one leg and throws it over his shoulder, and the other falls off the edge. His hands cup my ass, and he dives down and drags his tongue over my pussy.

I arch back and clench my teeth to hold in the sound. I can’t be too loud. I can’t make any noise at all. His mouth is so hot and I am so wet. He teases my entrance with his tongue and kisses my lips, licks my thighs and squeezes my ass in his hands.

My eyes flick open as his finger sinks into my body. I melt into the couch, all the strength flowing out of my muscles as he gently pumps his finger inside me and works my clit with his tongue in slow, undulating motions, the pressure and heat building my excitement with every stroke.

Oh God. I test him by touching his head, and when he licks me harder I knot my fingers in his hair. He pumps faster with his finger, his tongue moving harder, faster, his eyes locked on me. With a squirm and a pant and a gasp, moans catch in my throat as I fight to stay quiet.

My eyes shoot open as the pleasure builds. I feel it coming, like it hasn’t in a long, long time. It’s going to be a big one. I clap my hands over my mouth, knowing it’s the only way I will hold it in.

It’s still hard to stifle the cry. It’s like an explosion, a sudden burst of heat and cool blasting through my body in waves. I grip his head with my thighs and quiver and struggle with myself. Shocks flicker down my legs and rise through my body. I feel like I’m drifting, being carried away by an all-powerful current.

Alexander rises from between my legs and I see his cock hard in his pants and I want him so badly, I want to come and come and come until I can’t breathe. Take me, fill me. Please.

I offer myself to him in silence but he doesn’t take me. He pulls my shorts up to my waist and tucks my top back down, and pulls me up from the couch. I fall against him and he kisses me, hard, his hands roaming over my body. I’m so sensitive, his touch is almost painful, but it only grows the lust flaring in my chest.