Autumn in London (2 page)

Anna

My hangover hit me hard. It was 4 p.m. and I was still lying in the dark on my sofa watching
Sweet Home Alabama
. The day had been a complete write off. I should have learned by now that I couldn’t drink white wine without a huge hangover. The problem was I couldn’t drink whiskey any more, not since New York.

Despite myself, Alice’s birthday had been fun. Leah was right, my mood had been off since New York. I’d pulled back a bit from things, from life, and I didn’t want to carry on like that. I’d plastered on a smile at Alice’s party and found that by the end of the night the smile had been genuine. Two guys had asked for my number and instead of rolling my eyes and dismissing them, which had been my reaction to anything male since I’d come back from New York I had agreed to take theirs. And who knows, I might use one of them. I missed Ethan but I’d only known him a week, he didn’t want anything more from me than what had happened between us and he was a continent away. I wanted to find an Ethan in London. Despite my hangover, I felt as if I’d pressed the reset button and by tomorrow everything should have reloaded, ready to start again.

The next morning my new, positive attitude had decided to stick around so I dressed to kill and got into the office early. Except when I arrived, it didn’t seem that early. Passing through reception, there were people taking up seats, mobiles clamped to their ears. I checked my watch. Eight. It was weird, reception never had anyone in at that time.

I wandered over to Julia, the head receptionist, who looked frazzled. “What’s going on?” I whispered.

She shrugged. “Who the hell knows? But I’ve got Americans coming out of my arse.”

I winced “Sounds painful. I’ll let you get on with it.”

As I made my way to my desk I noticed the partners in our department huddled in one of our meeting rooms. Something was up. Maybe we were going into liquidation. Jesus. I was prepared for a new start but I didn’t want to kick things off by losing my job.

Twenty minutes later, a few more associates were milling about and there was unmistakable tension in the air and not the good, sexual kind. I grabbed the phone and dialed Leah.

“Something is going down,” I said in my best spy-like voice.

“Well as long as he’s hot, I’d say open wide.”

“Leah, what the hell is the matter with you? Your mouth’s dirtier than mine these days,” I said, genuinely shocked.

She giggled. “I know, it’s Daniel. He’s a bad influence.”

“I don’t want to know. Anyway. There’s definitely something up. I’ll rephrase that before you twist my words. Something is going on. Everyone’s jittery, there’s a bunch of activity in reception, and the partners look like they’ve been throwing up all night. It’s freaking me out.”

“I’ll see if anyone here knows anything and I’ll text you.”

Leah worked at another law firm and gossip among firms spread like wildfire. She was as likely to know something about my firm as I was.

“Okay, good. Shall we meet for a drink tonight?” I suggested.

“Yeah. That would be great.” Leah sounded shocked, I’d not been out much recently.

The partners filed out of their huddle and a murmur passed across the office. People were exchanging glances. What had happened? My secretary caught my blank expression and whispered for me to check my email.

All the associates were summoned to a firm meeting at 10 a.m. It was official. We were going under.

I tried to concentrate on work but found myself surfing job websites. Was Leah right? Would I find something easily? Well, I wasn’t going to find anything between now and 10 a.m.

Ethan

Since landing in London, the pull toward Anna had become stronger. She was becoming bigger in my thoughts and she wasn’t going away. I was going to have to track her down. I knew that now. The obvious way was through her friend’s boyfriend—Daniel Armitage. I could call him or maybe one of the other partners knew him – they probably ran in the same circles. Yes, Armitage would be the way in.

I picked up an unknown number calling my cell.

“Scott,” I answered.

“Hey, Ethan. It’s Phoebe.”

Phoebe was one of the few women I’d fucked more than once. She lived in Boston and came to New York for work regularly. I didn’t have her number. She called me if she was in town and wanted to get laid. Until now I’d been happy to help her out.

“So I’m in town and wondered if you were free tonight, say around ten?”

“Actually,” I said closing the door to my temporary office, “I’m in London, for work, and . . .”

“Okay, so I’ll call you next time.”

“Er, Phoebe . . .”

“Yes?”

“You know that I’ve never bullshitted you about our . . . relationship.” This was harder than I expected.

“Yes, Ethan, I’m not in love with you, don’t worry that handsome face of yours.”

I laughed, trying to sound casual. “Yeah, I know you would never be that crazy. It’s just . . . well, I don’t think we should catch up anymore when you’re in town.”

“Oh. Okay. Did you go gay?” She laughed again, in a little less assured way this time.

“Sorry, I just, well I met someone.”

“Oh wow. First George Clooney, and now you? Well, I’m happy for you, I really am. Look, I’ve gotta go. Take care now.” The phone went dead.

Relief pooled in my stomach and I collapsed back in my chair. It was only a half-lie. I had met someone and even though we weren’t together, our week together made my arrangement with Phoebe seem kinda sleazy.

Now I needed to focus. To concentrate. We were about to head into the conference room to make the announcement to the staff. Later today, I’d put a call into Armitage and see if I could find Anna.

“Ethan, just to recap, I’ll speak for about ten minutes and then introduce you,” Frank, the outgoing senior partner addressed me. I nodded, half listening. There was no need to fucking recap. We weren’t conducting brain surgery, this was a staff announcement about a merger.

Would Armitage tell me where she was? Would she be back with her ex?
Get your head in the fucking game.

We filed into the conference room. You could feel the tension in the air, it was heavy. Lawyers didn’t like surprises and here was a room full of them scared out of their wits. As I scanned the room, eyes tried to catch mine, trying to see what was going to be announced seconds before the person next to them. My attention swept left and right and I tried to force a smile. I wasn’t here to announce bad news, after all. This was good for everyone. Their firm wasn’t going under and it would have if it hadn’t been for us.

My eyes were pulled to a group of lawyers at the side of the room, and something I couldn’t quite make out caught my attention. The faces gradually came into focus and there, standing behind the throng of chairs, she stood. Anna.
My Anna
. Looking straight at me, her mouth open, as if she’d seen a ghost.

Fuck.

I looked away quickly, and looked at the floor, trying to get my head together. My brain was fuzzy and I couldn’t organize my thoughts properly. She was here? She was a lawyer? The floor disappeared from beneath me as I tried to make sense of what I’d seen. I was meant to be saying a few reassuring words. She looked amazing. Different. Had Frank stopped speaking?

Fuck.

Get your fucking shit together, Ethan
. I brought my fist to my mouth and cleared my throat.

I looked up, stared straight ahead and tuned into what Frank was saying. He sounded beaten, exhausted.

As he introduced me, I clapped him on the back. “Thanks Frank. I’m delighted to be here today with a number of my colleagues from New York to announce what will be the start of a new dawn for both our firms. Allen & Smith has a fantastic reputation for quality and client service and we’re all looking forward to working more closely together in these coming weeks, months and years. The merger is effective from the end of the month, after which we will be rebranded as one firm. We have some time for questions.”

I concentrated hard on not looking in Anna’s direction. I couldn’t afford to be distracted on such a big day for both our firms.

The questions were inane and easy to answer, and I took each of them on auto-pilot.

Would there be redundancies?
Did anyone really expect a straight answer to that question?

What would the new name of the firm be?
“That’s still being discussed” was the official answer, although in reality the names Allen and Smith were being dropped.

Would there be opportunities to work in the New York office?
We hoped to create opportunities of all kinds for people across the firm.

It was all ambiguity and bullshit. Two things I hated.

That was when I let my eyes be drawn to her. She was staring at her feet, not at me. What was she thinking?

We wrapped up and everyone trailed out. The rest of the day was spent in interviews with the legal press, meetings with clients and getting to know the other partners. Part of my role was to assess which of the partners made the cut. There was no doubt that people were going to get fired. We needed to improve profitability and quality, fast. That meant getting rid of dead wood. Frank would be the first to go. But I could tell today that he knew that and that he wouldn’t be a problem.

It was about 6 p.m. when things started to slow a bit. All in all, it had gone well. Apparently the legal press had been positive. I’d not seen it but my secretary passed me various articles throughout the day. I asked for a tour of the building to fill in the time before we went to dinner—the obligatory, first night in London welcome from the Allen & Smith partners. I really needed to check my messages but I wanted to see where exactly she worked and if I could spot her again. I insisted that Frank didn’t take me on the tour. He looked exhausted and could probably do with a break before dinner. Instead, Paul, a more junior partner showed me round. I tried to listen to what he was saying but really I spent my time scanning offices, trying to find her. I wasn’t quite sure what I’d say if I did come across her. I grinned at the thought of seeing her again. Although I’d only seen her for a few seconds, that open mouth she had was the same one I saw just before she came. Jesus, I could feel my cock stirring. Maybe seeing her again was not a good idea.

I slapped Paul on the back and suggest we wrap up the tour and head off to the restaurant.

Anna

I was waiting for Leah when she arrived, looking a bit flustered.  I was a glass ahead of her. Wine not whiskey, which I was sure to regret tomorrow but right then I didn’t care.

I topped up my glass and poured Leah a glass, draining the bottle. I waved at the waiter, trying to get his attention so he could bring us more alcohol.

“Jesus, Anna, it’s a Monday. I can’t get hammered,” Leah said as she sat down and took a sip of her wine.

“So, I saw Ethan today,” I said.

Leah looked confused. “What do you mean you saw Ethan?”

I took another glug of my wine and nodded. “Ethan. In London. Announcing the merger.”

Leah had emailed me when the news had broken online about the merger. I hadn’t responded other than to give her a time to meet up this evening.

“What do you mean ‘announcing the merger’? I’m not with you.”

The waiter appeared at our table.

“We’re going to need more wine,” Leah said helpfully. At least she got that bit. “Start at the beginning.”

“I told you the staff announcement was at 10 a.m. We filed in to the big conference room and there he was. Standing next to Frank.”

“He was there?” she asked, catching on to what I was saying.

I nodded. “Yup. Representing Flanders, Case & Burling, the US firm that’s taking us over. Why they bother calling it a merger, I have no idea, it’s a takeover - we were about to go under. He spoke, after Frank, I think. I can’t really remember.”

“Shit.”

I nodded again.

“Did you get to speak to him?”

“No.”

“Did he see you there?”

“Yes, briefly, he looked at me.”

“Do you think he knew you would be there?”

I shrugged. “I guess. I’m sure he had employee lists. I don’t know,” I said.

I shrugged again, and drank more wine.

“So, what was it like? Seeing him?”

It had been a shock seeing him again. A wonderful shock. A confusing shock. Excitement had coursed through me as I’d stared at him as he’d fiddled with some papers in front of him. And then, as he scanned the room, I knew he’d find me. And when he did, he snatched his gaze away as if I was the last person he wanted to see. It had stung.

“Do you think he knew in New York?” I blurted. The thought had just occurred to me.

“What? Knew where you worked? No. Do you think he did?”

I drank more. The effect of the alcohol seeped through my body. Was he just playing some weird fucking game with me? Trying to get information on Allen & Smith? It was a pretty big coincidence for him to be a partner at the law firm that was taking over the place I worked, wasn’t it?

“I think he’s an asshole who was using me,” I stated.

“Why? What would he be using you for? And anyway, he can’t have known. It’s just a coincidence. It’s the universe’s way of bringing you two back on the same continent, in the same city because it knows how good you are together.” Leah looked at me hopefully.

“Shut the fuck up and drink with me,” I responded.

That’s how he knew my name in New York. He’d not guessed my real name was Anna—there’d been no connection between us, which meant he could see who I really was without me having to tell him. He’d simply known. He’d played some weird mind game on me to try and get me to sleep with him. Using what he’d found in fucking due diligence to get laid. What a prick. He knew the whole fucking time.  Things were starting to make sense to me now.
Thank you wine.

“Did he try and speak to you?” Leah asked.

“No.” That had stung, too. He hadn’t looked at me again for the rest of the meeting. Not even a glance in my direction and I was sure about that because I hadn’t been able keep my eyes off him. What was he going to say to me anyway? “Sorry I lied and mislead you but it was business”?

And now I was going to be working for him. He was effectively going to be my boss or my boss’s boss or something. Well, hopefully he’d be back in New York by the end of the week and I wouldn’t hear his name again.

“Well, I’m sure you two will catch up soon. This is exciting!”

“It’s not exciting, Leah, it’s a disaster.
I’m
a walking disaster when it comes to men.”

“You are not! This Ethan thing could work out well. How long is he in London for?”

“He’s a liar and he used me. Maybe he was trying to get information about Allen & Smith. He’s an asshole.”

“That seems pretty unlikely, Anna. You’re jumping to conclusions. Wine does not bring wisdom.”

I hadn’t told her that he’d guessed my name in New York. It was a weird thing to have happened, so I’d kept it to myself. Now I was pleased I hadn’t told her. I felt like such a fool for believing that it had been real.

* * * * *

The next day at work my anger at Ethan and my hangover mixed into a mood that turned me into something that was straight from Greek myth and legend. I swear to god, I think if anyone had so much as looked at me wrong, I would have turned them to stone. I wasn’t taking any shit from anyone. I pounded through my work, refusing to think about anything but the contracts in front of me. The asshole that was Ethan Scott was not going to distract me or affect my career. Once again I’d proven to myself that I only attracted the lowest type of man. I was going to spend the rest of my life celibate. Decision made. It was easier all around, please move along, nothing to see here.

I was close to not having anything to do. It was never like that but because I’d been working like a machine since I’d returned from New York—contracts were flying off my desk. I needed to stay distracted so I fired off an email to my boss telling him that I had capacity to do more. I was going to get employee of the year.