Angel and the Assassin (25 page)

“You‟re not serious,” Freddie said.

“I am.” Angel laughed. “Right, Daddy?” He looked at Kael, who nodded. Now that Conran was on their side—and there was no doubt that he would be—it was probably safe to tell people who he was.

Both little girls came tumbling into the room together and stopped shyly at the sight of the visitors, clinging to each other for support. “Girls, this is Uncle Kael, and this is Angel.” Freddie pointed them out in turn.

“Uncle?” Kael questioned.

“We‟re trying to teach them to be respectful to adults,” Adam said.

“Are you a real angel?” the taller of the two girls asked.

“No, but I try to be sometimes.” Angel grinned at them.

Kael held out the bag with the toys. “There you go; I hope your daddies approve.”

130

“Girls, look. Uncle Kael and Angel brought you presents.” Freddie took the bag from Kael and put it on the couch. The girls crowded up beside it and released screams of joy when the Barbies were brought out.

“Kael, how did you know? They love that stuff.”

Freddie and Adam beamed. Kael looked down at Angel, who smiled back with an “I told you so” look. “It was Angel‟s idea. What do they do with them?” he asked.

“Oh they take the clothes off them and break the heads off, but they play with them for hours,” Freddie said.

“Is it a good influence?” Kael asked. “I mean, look at those things.” With Adam‟s help the children were ripping the dolls from the boxes.

“It‟s a terrible influence,” Adam said, “but little girls love them. We held off as long as possible. We swore we‟d never let them have such awful things, but we gave in when refusing bordered on child abuse.” He laughed.

“Come on, let‟s get some drinks,” Freddie said.

* * *

The little girls ate like cannibals, kneeling up on their chairs with food all over their faces and bibs, eating with their fingers more than their forks. Neither Freddie nor Adam seemed to notice. The girls chattered to Angel like he was an old friend, and Kael was amazed at his ease with them, at how he answered their questions and made stupid jokes that had them screaming with laughter.

“Girls, knock, knock.”

Zoe caught on at once. “Who‟s there?”

“Daddy.”

“Daddy who?”

“Daddy long legs.”

The girls went hysterical. “That‟s not even a joke; it doesn‟t make sense,” Kael said, confused. Then he saw Angel was surreptitiously pointing at him. Freddie and Adam joined in the laughter. “Very funny,” Kael said grudgingly.

“You‟re so good with kids, Angel. Do you have little brothers and sisters?”

Adam asked.

“No, sir, but I was in foster homes for a long time and there was always other little kids around, so I‟m used to them.”

Freddie looked at Angel and then at Kael. If he had spoken at that moment, he would have said,
Awww.

Kael kept a close eye on Angel while they ate. The only time he had to discipline him was when Angel sat playing with the leftover clams on his plate. He 13didn‟t like them and stirred them about with his fork. Kael nudged his elbow. “Don‟t play with your food.” Angel kept his hands in his lap after that “Bath time, girls,” Adam said directly after they had eaten. “When you‟re in your nighties, you can come down for your chocolate cake.”

“I want Angel to come too,” Zoe demanded.

“I want Angel.” Amelia joined in. She repeated everything her older sister said.

Angel looked at Kael. “Daddy, is it okay if I help them with their bath?”

“Rather you than me,” Kael said.

Alone in the living room with Freddie, he sat, legs stretched out, sipping a whiskey. They reminisced about College Grange, both making jokes about Conran and what a little Nazi he was. Kael refrained from saying he worked with him now or even that he still saw him. Freddie talked about his work in the courts and his life with Adam and the girls, but Kael was closemouthed about his own career. He briefly mentioned security and working as an interpreter.

“I love you, Kael.” Freddie‟s round glasses shone with the lamplight on them, and all Kael could see was shiny glass and a big smiling mouth underneath.

“Shut up.”

Freddie laughed, his belly bouncing up and down. He drank a mouthful of his wine. “I knew you‟d say that. But it‟s true. I always loved you to bits. I‟m in love with Adam, but I love you. I‟ve missed you.”

Kael laughed too. “Yeah, all right, mate.”

“You‟re in love with your young man. Your sweet Angel.”

“I am not,” Kael protested immediately.

“The way you look at him,” Freddie said.

“I‟m looking after him for a bit, that‟s all. He‟s too young and I‟m too busy. I have no time for nonsense.”

Freddie looked about the room at the toys, the cat sitting in the middle of an expensive leather chair. The remains of a snack on a patterned plastic plate sat on a small table from earlier in the day. “This, you mean? Domesticity? I grant you, it‟s not for everyone. Adam does a great job with the girls. He thinks it‟s more important to take them swimming than to clean the house, and I agree with him.

We can always clean up when they‟ve gone to uni. Don‟t you want a little bit of domesticity, Kael, you and Angel?”

“Angel is temporary. I‟ll make a man of him and send him out into the world.

I‟m busy with my work. It‟s not easy to live with another person when you‟re in, er”—he paused—“security. Anyway, I‟ve never been in love. I don‟t have the patience for it. Well, maybe once, but that was years ago when I was a kid.”

“That bloke Shawn you told me about at school?”

“Yes. I‟ve got no time or interest now.”

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“I don‟t know, Kael; the way you look at that boy tells me you‟re feeling something very strong. And the way he looks at you is so full of admiration and love.”

Kael felt a moment of panic. He didn‟t want to be in love. Conran had said it, now Freddie. “You‟re mistaking lust for love, Freddie. The sex is great, and I like to be in control, but one submissive will never be enough for me. I get bored easily.”

“Are you still into the
BDSM
thing?” Freddie mouthed
BDSM
, making Kael laugh.

“Yes, I am. The boy likes it too. What about you? You used to enjoy it.” Kael mimed wielding a belt, making Freddie look at the door to ensure no one had come in unexpectedly.

He nodded sheepishly. “Adam‟s not fond of that sort of thing, so it‟s all in my imagination these days. But the everyday sex is good.” Freddie pointed at his glass, and Kael accepted a top-up.

The sound of running feet on the stairs and the girls screaming, “Angel, wait for us!” split the air. They came running into the room barefoot, wearing nighties with Tinker Bell on the front; their curly hair was shiny wet and bouncing. Angel followed them and walked over to Kael. He looked up at his boy and stretched out his arm to welcome him to his side. He had got into the habit of doing that in the evening when they sat down together to watch TV or read or just talk. Angel would bring him his glass of whiskey, then throw himself on the couch beside him, leaning into his side. Kael would wrap his arm around him while they sat.

But instead of sitting down beside him, Angel sat on the floor at his feet. Kael was surprised and disappointed, but he didn‟t say anything.

“Do we get the chocolate cake now, girls?” Angel asked.

“Chocolate cake!” they shouted in unison. Kael thought his eardrums might shatter. They seemed unable to say anything in a normal voice.

The girls walked shyly up to him and stood at his knee holding hands, staring at him. Zoe, the elder of the two, spoke for them, her tone very serious. “Uncle Kael, we‟re adopted. Did you adopt Angel?”

“No.”

Zoe waited for a minute, clearly expecting him to explain. When he didn‟t, she went on, “Why does he call you Daddy? Are you his daddy?”

Angel looked at him, waiting for his answer just like the girls. “In a way.”

“What way?” She scratched her nose and sniffed. “What way, Uncle Kael?”

Kael threw Freddie a look that said,
Help me out here, please
. Freddie just chuckled and sipped his wine.

Kael watched them nervously, unsure what to say or do.

“Are you his dadda, Uncle Kael?” Amelia asked.

Freddie piped up by way of explanation, “The girls call me Daddy and Adam Dadda.”

13“Uncle Kael, why don‟t you have any hair?” Zoe asked.

Why don’t you go away?

Emboldened by her sister, Amelia asked, “Why are you so big, Uncle Kael?”

Freddie‟s laughter and Adam‟s entrance with a tray broke the tension. The girls turned and ran for their dessert. Kael had never been so relieved in his life to see chocolate cake. “Should they be eating cake right before bed, Freddie; won‟t they be sick?” he asked.

“Oh they‟ll be fine.” Freddie took his plate from Adam. “Thanks, love,” he said to his husband. “Anyway, if they‟re up in the night, Adam will clean up the sick.

He‟s the best dadda in the world.”

* * *

He watched the door to the bathroom, waiting for Angel to finish brushing his teeth.

They‟d had a nice evening, very civilized despite the feral children. Angel was great with them, and Freddie and Adam liked him. But in the taxi home, Angel had sat with a good foot of space between them instead of leaning against him as he always did, taking every opportunity for closeness and affection. At home he had gone quietly to the bedroom to start getting ready for bed.

Angel emerged from the bathroom naked and crossed the room without looking at him. Almost every night he would run and leap onto the bed, but tonight he walked. He pulled his blankie from under his pillow before getting in and lying down, holding it on his belly. Kael waited for him to roll into his side and lay his head on Kael‟s shoulder, but he lay on his back without a word. The king-size bed was big enough for four, and Angel lay close to the edge with a three-foot space between them.

“Did you enjoy Freddie and his family?” Kael asked, not understanding what was going on.

“Yes, Sir, it was a nice evening. Did I behave okay?”

“Yes, you were good. I was proud of you.” He turned onto his side facing Angel, waiting for him to come closer. He had not realized just how much he liked having Angel in his arms at night. Even though they sometimes rolled away from each other during sleep, he often awoke with his arm lying across the boy‟s waist. One morning he woke up to find Angel, fast asleep, lying on top of him.

If he wanted Angel in his arms now, he should order him to do it, but ordering him to suck his cock was very different from ordering him to lie in his arms with his head on his shoulder so he could feel Angel‟s warm breath against his neck and Angel‟s heart beating against his own. He felt embarrassed to demand that kind of intimacy.

“Are you tired, boy?”

“Yes, Sir.”

134

And how come all of a sudden he was Sir and not Daddy? He had felt stupid at first when Angel called him Daddy. Now he liked it. He wanted it. He wanted to reach out and run his fingertips over Angel‟s smooth cheek, to trace a line down the bridge of his straight nose, but he couldn‟t bring himself to be spontaneously affectionate. He could not allow himself to be so vulnerable as to be playful and sweet with him, at least not unless Angel started it. Once the boy crawled into his arms, it was easier, but not when he was like this.

He looked at Angel‟s profile as he stared at the ceiling. He looked at the pale, bare chest with the tiny rosebud nipples, both his hands clutching his blanket.

Maybe it was Freddie‟s family, so close and loving, that reminded him of what he had missed out on spending his childhood in a string of foster homes.

He’ll be all right by morning. He’ll be himself again.

“Go to sleep, Angel.”

“Yes, Sir.” Angel rolled onto his side, facing away from him. Kael turned to face the opposite wall. His arms felt empty. He missed his boy, and he was only a couple of feet away.

13Chapter Sixteen

They were finishing dinner when Kael‟s mobile buzzed. It was the one Conran called him on. Either he had a job for him or he had news about Angel.

“Stay there.” He left the kitchen and went quickly into the dungeon. He closed the door and locked it, then crossed the room to the far side, pressing the phone to his ear.

“What do you want?”

“You have a job.”

“What the hell?”

There was often a gap of a few weeks and occasionally a couple of months between assignments. In the last two months he had had one job after the next. He needed a break, and he didn‟t want to leave Angel right now. The boy was acting strange. He had not improved after being upset by Freddie‟s happy family and had grown more distant over the last week, being scrupulously obedient and respectful, but his playfulness was gone. He was no longer naturally affectionate, and he never said daddy anymore.

“What about my boy‟s citizenship? What about protecting him?”

“I‟m working on it. These things take time.”

“How‟s your nose?” Kael asked. Not that he cared. He simply wanted to remind Conran what he was capable of.

“It was broken, but you know that.”

“I‟ve been trained to break noses; what do you expect?” He laughed. “You can‟t train a dog to fight and then expect it to know when not to.”

“I had to tell my wife I slipped and fell.” The resentment in Conran‟s voice was almost comical.