After the Event (5 page)

They rumbled along the deserted road in near silence. Alec could feel his father’s eyes on him from time to time, but he said nothing. He didn’t care what Jack had to say and he especially didn’t care what his father had to say. Even if he was a different person it didn’t change the past. Just because he was here for them now didn’t change the fact he wasn’t there for them when they needed him, when
she
needed him.

             
“Keep a close watch when we get into town. When we left St. Louis things were just starting to get bad, I don’t want to imagine how they are now.”

             
Alec answered him with silence. He looked out the window and was greeted by empty fields. It was almost like the world hadn’t gone to hell. He remembered coming to this place when he was younger and it always felt empty. Fields with nothing but a few cows sprinkled throughout, the occasional farm house in the distance, and corn, lots and lots of corn. As they approached the town he could see a couple of cars abandoned on the side of the road, but that was the only thing different he remembered, until they actually got into the town.

             
His father slowed to a crawl as they drove down the street towards the main square. The town was small, one grocery store, the mandatory McDonalds, and a hardware store, but they all happened to be located on the main square. Many of the houses were boarded up; many more had handmade signs warning against trespassing.

             
“Get ready.” His father said.

             
The road leading to the square was blocked off by several parked vehicles. He could see a few people walking past in the distance eyeing them warily. His father pulled the truck to the side of the roadway and parked it. He laid his hand on the rifle lying in the middle of the seat.

             
“I’m going to see what I can find out. Sit tight here and if you hear me call then use this.”

             
Alec looked past him. “I’m not sitting here in the car.”

             
“I don’t know what it’s like here if-“

             
“I’m not a child.”

             
“I’m not trying to say you’re a child I-“

             
“Then don’t treat me like one. I don’t need your protection; I don’t need you to watch over me.”

             
His father sighed and looked down at the staring wheel. “Alec-“

             
“Don’t. If you asked me to go with you because you thought it would help us get closer or so we could talk you were mistaken. I came because I wanted to know what was going outside of our little area. You may want things to be better between us,” his father looked back up at Alec, and he turned away, “but I don’t.”

             
They sat there in silence for what felt like forever; finally his father grabbed the rifle and got out of the truck. Alec followed. They had only gone a few steps before a man stood up from behind the line of cars blocking their way. The man’s face was covered in an unattended beard that hid nearly everything outside of his eyes. His unkempt hair suggested a man that was spread too thin, while his eyes shown with determination.

             
“Can I help you boys with something? “

             
They both stopped a few steps from him. Before his father could say anything Alec noticed a man slowly come up behind them. This man had a rifle causally slung over his shoulder. His father must have noticed him as well because his body stiffened slightly.

             
“We’re not here to cause any trouble.”

             
The man with the beard looked them up and down. “That’s good we’ve got enough trouble as it is. My name is Whitford.”

             
“I’m Grant and this is my son Alec.”

             
“I haven’t seen you two before.”

             
“No, we live just outside of town.”

             
Whitford glanced at the man behind him for just a second. “I’ve been an officer in this town for the better part of a decade and I’ve never seen you before.”

             
“You may have known my father, Carter Irving.”

             
Whitford’s body seemed to relax just slightly. With a wave of his hand the armed man behind them walked past and into the square. Whitford let out a sigh. “No offense, but these are dark times.”

             
“None taken.”

             
“I remember your father, he was a good man. Taken too early, you all up at his old place?” Grant nodded. “I recommend you stay there.” Whitford glanced over his shoulder for a second. “We haven’t heard anything. Had a large group of people from Columbia swing through and sounds like there is a lot of looting still going on. Besides all that, winter is coming.” The man seemed to age in front of their very eyes. “There are still a few hundred people left in this town, we barely have enough food to feed them now, let alone during the winter months.”

             
“I can’t offer much, but I can try to help.”

             
Whitford considered it for a moment then nodded toward Alec. “How many you got?”

             
“Four.”

             
Whitford shook his head. “You worry about yours. If you make it through the winter then we might take you up on your offer.”

             
They shook hands then turned and headed back to truck. As they headed back down the highway towards their home Alec turned to his father. “You think they’re going to make it?”

             
Grant’s eyes stayed on the road. “Chances are most of them won’t.”

             
Alec considered this for a moment. “Why don’t they go out and hunt like you and Jack?”

             
“Most of them probably don’t know how to hunt. Outside of that you have to kill a lot of game in order to feed several hundred people on a daily basis.”

             
They continued driving in silence and neither of them probably would have said anything if it hadn’t been for the trucks stopped in the middle of the roadway. A rusty truck was in the middle of the highway and there was a car pulled over to the side.

Grant handed Alec the rifle and started to slow down. “Be ready.”

             
As they approached Alec noticed a man standing next to the car, a handgun at his side. Another man was leaning against the truck. Grant cursed under his breath. “If I give the word you fire, don’t hesitate, understand?”

             
A sick feeling took over Alec’s stomach but he nodded yes.

             
Grant stopped the truck twenty yards away. The man leaning against the truck causally began walking up to them. Like everyone else his clothing was worn, the result of being worn too much and washed too little. As he got closer Alec noticed the man’s face was partially disfigured by a scar that ran down his left eyebrow across the bridge of his nose to the middle of his right cheek.

When he got within 10 yards Grant yelled
out. “That’s far enough.”

             
The man held his hands up in the air. “No worries, no worries. We’re just protecting the highway.”

             
Alec could see Grant’s hands tighten around the steering wheel. “Good to know, we’re just going around.”

             
“Now hold up, no need to hurry along. Where you folks from?” The man’s face had a smile but his eyes were cold.

             
“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

             
The man took a couple more steps and noticed Alec and the rifle. The smile on his face lessened slightly. “No need to be hostile. I’m sure if you’re from around here we’ll be seeing each other again.”

             
Alec looked over to the car and could see the other man pointing the gun in the window of the car. There was someone in the car. “What’s going on over there?”

             
The man smiled but kept his attention on them. “Just helping out someone whose car died, you know, being good Samaritans.”

             
Grant’s voice took a dark tone. “Back away from our truck now.”

             
The man held his hands up again and backed away. “No problem buddy but don’t think I won’t remember how rude you were. What goes around comes around, understand?”

             
Grant gunned the truck and sped around the blockade. The scarred man watched them go.

             
“I think there was someone in that car.” Alec said.

             
Grant continued speeding down the highway glancing in the rearview mirror. “I’m positive there was, but there isn’t anything we can do about that now.”

             
Alec started to say something and stopped himself. “Just taking care of your own?”

             
Grant glanced at him briefly, a look of pain flashed across his face. “Trying to.”

              The cool wind was a reminder of why he was standing outside cutting wood for the fifth straight day. Grant stopped for a second to allow himself time to catch his breath. His shoulders gave off a dull ache while the bottom of his back felt like it was on fire.

Winter was on their door step.
Everything they did now was to prepare for that eventuality. That was why he found himself at Jack’s house cutting wood for hours at a time. The old man’s land had plenty of fallen trees that were easier to cut through.

             
“Taking a break?” Jack gave him a quick slap on the back.

             
“I hate wood.”

             
Jack let out a laugh. “You hate it now but the first time you get that wood stove going you’re going to love it. Nothing compares to the warmth those things generate.”

             
Grant looked over the pile of wood scattered around him, then his thoughts turned to the garage full of wood. “Think we have enough?”

             
Jack looked at him like he had just lost his mind. “That’s one of the funniest things you have ever said.” He gave him another slap on the back. “It’s always hard to say because it depends on the winter. But I can tell you that even in the mildest of winters you don’t have enough to keep you and yours warm for the entire winter.”

             
The ache in his back somehow seemed to double in intensity. Grant flopped down on a tree stump and let out a long breath.

             
“Don’t worry Grant, we’ll get through it. We’ll take turns hunting. When the snow comes we can use the cold to refrigerate the meat and help it last longer. If we run out of wood we’ll just take turns cutting more.”

             
“Not everyone is going to be that lucky.” His thoughts returned to the people in town and their inevitable fate. Even if he did go out every day and hunt for them it wouldn’t be enough, but at least it would be something. Yet as he sat on the tree stump, his body on the breaking point, and his energy reserves depleted he knew it was going to be a struggle just providing for his family.

             
“Focus on the things you can control.”

             
Grant nodded.

             
“How is the family doing?”

             
Grant felt both pride and pain.

“Ally is doing well, she’s young enough that the change hasn’t really affected her.
If anything being out in the country has just allowed her tomboy personality to flourish.

“
Joseph’s quiet, he’s always been quiet.” He hesitated. Joseph had been in the world for eight years and all together Grant had only been around him for little over 2 years. It was hard to say with any certainty that Joseph was this quiet before he lost his mom. A cold gust of wind snapped him back into the moment. “I think he’s getting along ok.”

             
Jack smiled and threw a wayward piece of wood back into the pile. “Ben seems to have taken a liking to living out in the country.”

             
There hadn’t been a morning in weeks where Grant had woken up and Ben wasn’t already outside. He would pop back in for breakfast and then pop back out. At first it had been hard having the kid out of sight but Ben knew to stay close, he knew how to take care of himself. It did make him wonder where exactly the kid kept wandering off to though.

             
“Yeah he’s become a man of the wilderness lately.”

             
Then there was silence. Grant didn’t know what to say about Alec. Jack looked at him knowingly then looked off in the distance.

             
“Don’t worry Grant, he’ll come along.”

             
“I have failed all my kids, I realized and accepted that long ago. But I have failed him most of all.”

Thirsty.

Grant’s thoughts turned to a drink just briefly. For the longest time that is how he dealt with these feelings. He pushed the urge away and took a breath.

“He’s given me more chances then I deserve and each time I have let him down.
I could have made up for all that when she got sick though. But I didn’t, I couldn’t. She was always the strong one. She was the one who took care of everything.” He didn’t try to stop the tears from coming. “Seeing her waste away was too much. So I did what I always did when things got too tough, I went back to the bottle. And in doing so I abandoned them when they needed me the most. I forced him to take on the burdens that should have fallen on me.”

             
“You can’t change what you did in the past. You weren’t there for them yesterday, but you’re there for them today.”

             
Grant wiped away his tears. No matter what he did today he couldn’t change what he put them through in the past. He still hadn’t learned how to accept this. Part of him wanted Alec to hate him, part of him felt guilty that the rest of his children had opened their arms to him so easily.

             
Jack walked over to him and patted him on the back gently. “I see the way you are with them now. I wish I would have had one day when my father treated me like that.”

             
Grant stood back up and looked to the distance. “I’m more worried about the people we ran into on the road.”

             
Jack nodded his head and ran a hand over the hair covering his face. “Not much we can do about that, outside of being vigilant. Those kinds of people are going to be more common now. They’ll pick on the weak we just have to make sure we don’t appear weak.”

             
Grant’s thoughts turned to the two guns they had along with the handful of bullets they had between them. He didn’t think that would cause any one to shake in their boots but he knew what Jack was getting at.

             
“Can you be honest with me for a second Jack?”

             
The man smiled, “I’ll try my best.”

             
“You think we can make it through this winter?”

             
The smile slowly disappeared from the man’s face and for a second the winkles reappeared on his old face. “I’m not going to lie it’s going to be hard, damn hard. We have access to plenty of wood, and we’ve got shelter…”

             
“It’s the food we have to be concerned about.” Grant finished for him.

             
Jack nodded in agreement. “With as many mouths as we have to feed we’re going to have to stay on our toes.” Jack gave him a genuine smile. “But to answer your question, yes I do think we can make it.”

             
Grant grabbed the axe tightly in his hands and turned back towards his duties. “I sure as hell hope you’re right.”

             
The old man left and went back over to the lake to watch Grant’s children. For the next 30 minutes Grant cut wood. With every swing he imagined the piece of wood as one of his problems and the axe the solution.

The need for food during a time when food was going to be all but non-existent.

THWACK

Cold that would go on for months and their only source of heat would be these pieces of wood.

THWACK

A son that was just waiting for him to abandon them.

THWACK

His muscles screamed and Grant finally dropped the axe and sat on the tree trunk. He looked at the dozens upon dozens of pieces of wood around him that he cut in the last few hours, and for what? How long would a piece of wood last, he honestly didn’t know. As he looked around his biggest fear was that all this work was only going to last them a day, if that. He was overwhelmed.

             
For a second he stared out at the lake. He watched Alya running around the borders of the lake over and over again. He saw Joseph playing in the dirt only a few meters from Alec and watched as every time Alya got near, the young boy would run over to hide near Alec. In the far distance he could see Ben in and out of the woods, “exploring” as he liked to call it. All of them depended on him, just like she had depended on him.

             
Grant went inside Jack’s house and grabbed a glass of water. On the man’s walls were pictures of a family long gone. Jack didn’t have kids but he had been married and there were many pictures of Jack with his wife. Frozen memories of better times, that’s what pictures were supposed to be. He always struggled to go through old family photos. Behind every smile he could see the battle raging inside him, or was reminded of a defeat that just had, or was just about to occur. Very few of his family photos were actually as happy as they were made out to be. Yet through every one of them she had been right there at this side.

             
He opened up a nearby cabinet to put up his glass and saw the one thing he didn’t need to see. Sitting all alone on the second shelf was a half-finished bottle of vodka.

Thirsty
.

Grant wanted to close the cabinet door, he
was certain his brain had sent signals to his arm to close it, yet it remained open.

Just a sip.

The bottle looked old, Jack must have just being drinking a little every now and then.

Just enough to feel that familiar warmth.
Feel it going down my throat and warm up my belly.

Once again Grant told his arm to close the cabinet and once again nothing happened; only this time he was vaguely aware of reaching in and grabbing the bottle.

I’ve been through so much I deserve just a little drink.
My problem before was that I drank too much, but that’s not possible anymore. There is only a little here and there are no longer stores to pick up more. If I have just a little now and a little later I can make this last a long time.

Grant sat the bottle down on the counter.
He had been through this too many times. It always started as just a sip, just one drink, just one more, just this one night of drinking, but it never ended. He couldn’t do this, not again.

I’m going to fail them again, it’s inevitable, a small drink isn’t going to change that.
We’re not going to last this winter. They are going to either freeze or starve. I don’t know what I’m doing.

Grant picked up the bottle again.

It just feels right in my hand.
I can just take a little drink to get my mind right. Just a glass to help get my strength back and then I can go back out and cut enough wood to last through the winter.

Grant could feel his arm shaking.

I know it’s going to happen sooner or later, why fight it?
Alec hates you, he will always hate you.

Alec was expecting this to happen.
Ever since he had returned Alec knew this moment was going to happen. He knew that Grant was going to fight this battle and end up on the losing end.

I left her there to die alone.
I left my kids alone to deal with the grief all by themselves. I failed her.

Grant grabbed the bottle and with his last bit of strength he threw it into the sink.
The bottle shattered and he watched as the last of the alcohol disappeared in the drain. She had always been there for him, the very least he owed her was to do the same for their children.

             
Grant collapsed on the floor and put his head in his hands. He won this battle but he knew the war would never end. His thoughts turned to his children and some of his strength returned. He was willing to continue fighting this fight for them. When Grant finally took his head out of his hands he saw Alec standing at the doorway. He didn’t know how long the boy had been standing there and his face was blank. For a few seconds their eyes locked then Alec turned around and walked outside.

             
Grant rested his back against the cabinets. “Not today Alec,” he let out a long breath and tried to calm the shaking in his hands. “Not today.”