A Chesapeake Shores Christmas (6 page)

“Me, I’m sorry to say.” He touched a hand to her cheek. “Meggie, you know I’m right about not postponing the wedding because of this. We’ll always be able to find an excuse for not moving forward, but all that really matters is whether we know in our hearts it’s the right thing for us.”

She shook her head. “It’s not that simple, Mick. It was when we were barely out of our teens and first met, but now there are too many other people to consider.”

“When Kevin was going through all of his heartache after Georgia died and you wanted to wait before telling anyone we were thinking of marrying again, I agreed,” Mick reminded her. “This is different. Connor’s just choosing to be impossible.”

“No, he’s still angry with me for leaving and with you for taking me back, to say nothing of how hurt he must have been when you banished him.”

“That’s his problem,” Mick said stubbornly. “If he won’t even come home to spend a holiday with his family, how are we supposed to get through to him?”

“We need to give it more time,” Megan insisted. “However long it takes.”

Mick regarded her with a too-familiar unyielding look. “We’re getting married New Year’s Eve, Meggie, and that’s that. I’ll do whatever I can in the meantime to reach Connor, and you can do the same, but we are not postponing our wedding.”

She frowned at the finality in his tone. This was the side of him that hadn’t changed, one she wasn’t sure she could tolerate even after all the other strides they’d made. Less than twenty-four hours ago, she’d been so certain of everything, so sure their relationship was solid. Now this.

She met his gaze. “Not even if I say it’s important to me that all of our children are happy about this marriage, that going forward without their blessing is a deal-breaker?”

Mick hesitated, then shook his head. “Not even then.”

She sighed. “Oh, Mick, then we’ve got bigger problems than Connor that we need to fix.”

Though Nell, Abby, Bree and Jess had all come over Wednesday night to help with preparations for the big Thanksgiving feast, Mick couldn’t enjoy having the women of his family all under one roof again. Megan’s words still rang in his ears. He knew he’d pushed her too far, but how could he back down?

He heard laughter coming from the kitchen, but Megan hadn’t joined in. He would have recognized her laugh at once. The joyful sound had always filled him with such a sense of peace and satisfaction.

Mick grabbed his jacket and a cigar and went out on the porch, even though the night air was about to hit the freezing mark.

He’d just settled into a rocker when the door opened and light spilled across the porch. He saw Megan hesitating in the doorway.

“Mick, it’s too cold for you to be out here. Come back inside.”

“I’m fine,” he said gruffly.

“Well, Nell needs you. She wants you to get the turkey ready. It’s too heavy for any of us to lift it into that big old tub of salt water and then carry it to the spare refrigerator in the mudroom so it can soak tonight. That’s always been your job.”

Even though it was the perfect excuse for joining the rest of the family, he wasn’t anxious to risk a lecture from his outspoken daughters or another glimpse of the sadness in Megan’s eyes.

“I’ll be there in a couple of minutes,” he told her.

Apparently his response didn’t satisfy her, because she grabbed her jacket from the peg by the front door and came outside.

“Is this the way it’s going to be tomorrow?” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You sitting off on the sidelines because you and I don’t see eye to eye about Connor or the wedding,” she said bluntly. “Because if it is, if this house is going to be filled with tension, I’ll leave. I won’t be responsible for everyone having a miserable holiday.”

Alarm shot through him at the serious note in her voice. “No,” he said at once. “You should be here for Thanksgiving. If you go now, we’ll never put things to rights between us.”

“Well, we’re not doing that with you out here sulking, either.”

“I wasn’t sulking. I was smoking a cigar. I like a good cigar in the evening,” he claimed.

“You also like being in the kitchen when it’s crowded with family. This has always been one of your favorite holidays. Now come back inside. Maybe you and I can just agree to disagree until Friday. Then we’ll find some time to sit down on our own and talk things through.”

“Seems reasonable,” he said, taking heart. By Friday maybe Megan would see reason about not caving in to Connor’s manipulative efforts to keep them apart.

“I’ll just ask one thing of you in the meantime,” she said. “We don’t talk about the wedding in front of the others.”

He stared at her incredulously. “Meggie, you know it’s going to come up. Bree will want to discuss the flowers. I hear the twins have big plans for their role in the ceremony. They’re dying to get your agreement. How can we put them off?”

“We’ll just say the plans haven’t been finalized. That’s innocuous enough.”

His gaze narrowed. “You won’t say we’ve canceled?”

“No.”

“Or postponed?”

“No, not until after we’ve talked on Friday and settled a few things.”

He nodded. “That’ll do.”

“I’m only agreeing to that because I don’t want the holiday ruined and I don’t want a lot of tension between us. Is that understood? My concerns are still there. I won’t claim our happiness at the cost of losing our son.”

“Now you’re being dramatic,” he grumbled, not able to hide his impatience. “Connor’s not lost. He’s just stubborn.”

“If we’re not careful, it could come to that,” Megan insisted. Before he could respond, she held up her hands in a gesture of surrender. “But from this moment on, the topic’s off-limits until Friday.”

Mick winced at the determination in her voice. “Agreed,” he said, because he had no choice. He was no more eager to start a big family hullabaloo than she was.

6

T
hanksgiving day dawned with crisp fall air, bright blue skies and just a scattering of wispy white clouds floating overhead. Megan had a hundred blessings she knew she should be counting, but all she could think about were two overwhelming regrets. Her son wouldn’t be here to share the holiday with the family, and Mick was being as impossible as ever.

Her talk with Nell the day before had been comforting, but had done nothing to dissuade her from her determination to postpone the wedding. Last night’s conversation with Mick had only reinforced her stance. She just had to convince Mick she meant what she said and keep him from trying to bulldoze right over her very valid objections to moving forward with their wedding plans.

In the meantime, though, in the spirit of the holiday, she could at least make an overture to her son. It might not be welcome, but she had to try again to reach out to him. No matter how many tries it took, she would eventually get through to him. Anything less was unacceptable.

Carrying her cell phone onto the porch, she hit Connor’s number on speed dial. The phone rang at least a dozen times, with no response and no answering machine pickup. She was about to give up when she finally heard his voice.

“Hello, Mother,” he said, sounding annoyed and coolly distant.

“I wanted to wish you a happy Thanksgiving,” she said cheerfully, determined to try to keep the conversation up-beat. “And to tell you how sorry I am that you won’t be joining us.”

He was silent for what seemed like an eternity before he responded with a grudging “Happy Thanksgiving.”

Ignoring his tone and continuing on the positive note she’d hoped to establish, she said, “You know, from the day each of you were born, you, your brother and your sisters have been right at the top of my list of blessings.”

“And yet you walked away and left us behind,” he responded bitterly. “I thought people were supposed to embrace blessings, not toss them aside like garbage.”

“Oh, Connor, how many times do I have to tell you that it wasn’t like that,” she protested, unable to hide her dismayed reaction, yet knowing she would say the words over and over until he believed them. “I know just hearing me say how much I regret what happened doesn’t mean anything, but it’s true. There are so many things I would have done differently if I’d had the chance.”

“In the end, though, you still would have left, wouldn’t you?” he said accusingly.

She hesitated, but she knew a lie, even now, wouldn’t serve her well. “Yes, I still would have left.”

“Then that says it all,” he said, his tone resigned.

“No,” she corrected. “It only says how badly my marriage to your father had disintegrated at that time. It says nothing about how much I loved you.”

“It doesn’t matter now,” he said dismissively.

“Obviously it does. Connor, please reconsider and come home today,” she said hurriedly, sensing he was about to hang up. “It’s not too late for all of us to be together. It’s one day. Can’t you do that much? We don’t have to talk about our relationship or the wedding. Families should be together on Thanksgiving. We can deal with all the rest another time.”

For the space of a heartbeat, she took hope from his silence. Unfortunately, it didn’t last.

“No. I don’t want to be where I’m not welcome,” he said.

Though he sounded like a stubborn kid, Megan heard the hurt just below the surface. He’d always been like that, covering his deepest feelings so no one could detect his vulnerabilities. For many years he’d covered with wit and laughter. Now he relied on belligerence.

“Connor, before I let you go, I want to make one thing absolutely clear,” she said, hoping she could get through to him. “No matter how angry your father was, no matter what he said, he loves you with his whole heart. So do I. And as long as either of us is around, this will be your home and you will be welcome here.”

She could tell he was taking in her words, probably deciding whether he could trust them. She kept talking.

“Families fight,” she said. “People say things in the heat of the moment. You must know that, given the number of arguments you and Kevin had growing up. But when push comes to shove, O’Briens stick together. We’re bound together by love. I know what it was like to be outside that circle. I was outside, because I chose to be, just as you’re choosing to stay away now. When the time comes and you’re ready, you
will
be welcomed back, just as I have been. I promise you that. Just, please, don’t stay away too long, because as time goes by, it gets harder and harder to go back.”

She waited, desperately wanting her words to sink in, praying for a response.

Instead, all he said was goodbye.

“I love you, Connor,” she said, hoping he’d stayed on the line long enough to hear her, hoping he believed she meant it.

She closed her cell phone, tucked it in her pocket, then let her tears fall.

By the time Megan gathered her composure, a few early-bird family members had started to arrive. Nell had once again taken charge in the kitchen, ordering everyone around with the efficiency and determination of a drill sergeant.

The kitchen table groaned under the weight of pies, bowls of homemade cranberry relish, trays of rolls ready for the oven, casseroles filled with sweet potatoes topped with marshmallows or green beans. Megan breathed in the once-familiar scents with satisfaction.

“I’ve missed this,” she told Nell. “Nothing smells like your kitchen on Thanksgiving morning.”

“You don’t object to me taking over?” Nell asked. “This should be your domain now.”

“It will always be yours,” Megan contradicted. “Even if you decide to move back to your own cottage, when it comes to family occasions, I will always gladly defer to you. I never did have the knack of organizing meals for a family this size, especially on holidays. I could barely get supper on the table when it was just the kids and me.”

Nell gave her a disbelieving look. “Don’t be downplaying your cooking skills just to placate me. You’re a fine cook.”

“Maybe of a few basics,” Megan conceded. “But you’re the one with the real flair for entertaining so many people and making it look easy. Now, tell me what I can do to help.”

“The twins set the table last night. I didn’t want to insult them by hovering, but I took a look after they went home,” Nell said with an amused shake of her head. “It could use a finishing touch. Would you mind?”

“Absolutely not,” Megan said, grateful to have a task that would give her some time on her own. Her emotions were still raw after her conversation with Connor. The longer she had to pull herself together before facing Mick or her far-too-intuitive daughters, the better. One thing that conversation had done was to add more reinforcement to her determination to postpone the wedding.

She was in the dining room straightening place settings and folding the napkins more neatly, when Carrie and Caitlyn bounded in with their usual exuberance. Nine now, the twins still wore matching outfits much of the time, but their personalities were so unique, it made telling them apart easy enough. She smiled at the sight of them in their fancy dresses with lace at the collar and their shiny Mary Jane shoes. They were dressed like perfect little ladies, but their expressions were pure imp.

“Don’t you look beautiful,” she said. “Happy Thanksgiving.”

“Happy Thanksgiving,” Caitlyn replied dutifully, though she looked as if she were bursting at the seams to talk about something else. She was bouncing on her tiptoes and looking at her sister, who regarded Megan solemnly.

“Grandma Megan, me and Caitlyn need to talk to you about something really, really important,” Carrie said.

“Okay,” Megan replied, hunkering down in front of them. “Tell me.”

“Can Caitlyn and me be in the wedding?” Carrie asked in a rush, her eyes bright with excitement. “We’ve been flower girls before, but we think we’re too big for that now. We should probably be bridesmaids.”

“And we want to wear red velvet dresses,” Caitlyn chimed in. “Mommy says it’ll clash with our red hair, but we don’t care. Red’s our very favorite color. And it’s a Christmas color, so it’s perfect.” She regarded Megan hopefully. “Don’t you think so?”

Abby walked in just in time to overhear. “Girls, didn’t I tell you that you should wait to see what your grandmother wants for her wedding? It’s her big day and she probably has her own ideas.”

“But she needs to know how really, really important this is to us,” Carrie argued. “Otherwise, how can she decide what kind of wedding to have?”

Mick had warned Megan about this, but she hadn’t been prepared for how awful it would feel to disappoint Carrie and Caitlyn when their hearts were set on this holiday-season wedding. She gave Abby a helpless look, then faced her granddaughters.

“As soon as I start focusing on my wedding plans, I promise I’ll think about your offer, girls,” she assured them.

“But aren’t you planning now?” Caitlyn asked, looking puzzled. “It’s only a little while till New Year’s Eve. I looked at one of Mom’s bridal magazines. There’s a lot to do for a wedding. I could help you make a list.”

“There is a lot to do,” Megan agreed. “And I will certainly appreciate your help when the time comes. Now why don’t you track down your Grandpa Mick? I think he bought a new game for you to play while we’re getting dinner ready.”

“Grandpa Mick’s watching football,” Caitlyn said, sounding despondent. “So are Trace and Uncle Jake and Uncle Kevin. We can’t find Uncle Connor anywhere. He’s the one who usually plays with us.”

Abby directed an apologetic look toward Megan, then frowned at her daughters. “I told you Uncle Connor might not be here,” she said. “Now scoot.”

“But it’s Thanksgiving,” Carrie protested. “Everybody comes for Thanksgiving!”

Abby scowled. “Go find your grandfather and Trace. Tell them they have to set up a game for all you kids to play. Tell them your mother said so.”

After the girls had scampered off, Megan sank down on a chair. Abby sat next to her.

“I’m sorry, Mom. They don’t realize that Connor’s being a gigantic pain.”

“He’s entitled to his feelings,” Megan said. “You all are.”

“But the rest of us have seen that there are two sides to the story. You’ve worked really hard to reconnect with us.”

“And apparently I haven’t worked hard enough to reconnect with Connor.” She glanced at Abby. “I called him this morning. I asked one more time that he reconsider and come home today. He turned me down.”

“Of course he did. He never could back down once he’s taken a stance,” Abby said. “After we get through today, I intend to track him down myself and tell him what I think of his behavior.”

Megan gave her a wry look. “Do you honestly think that will help?”

“Probably not,” Abby conceded. “But I’ll feel better.”

“It’s not about you feeling better,” Megan reminded her oldest daughter. “It’s about getting Connor on board with your father and me reconciling.” She lifted her chin. “Which is why I’ve told your father we need to postpone the wedding.”

Abby looked stricken. “Mom, no!”

“I’m not bending on this. It’s the right thing to do,” Megan insisted. “Maybe it’s even for the best. I was so sure your father had changed, but the past few days, I don’t know, he still likes to do everything on his own terms.”

“Meaning?”

“For starters, he went ahead and leased a place on Shore Road for the art gallery without even consulting me. He said it was a wedding present.”

“Okay,” Abby said slowly, clearly not understanding the problem. “Is there something wrong with the space?”

“No, it’s perfect, but it’s way too expensive. I certainly couldn’t have afforded to lease it on my own.”

Abby continued to look confused. “It sounds as if he wanted to do something nice for you.”

“He did,” Megan said. “I can see that, but I also see that he’s going about things in his usual style, as if what I think doesn’t matter.”

“I suppose I can see your point, but that’s just one thing, Mom. Maybe you’re being too hard on him. You know he’s changed. We’ve all seen that. Leasing a store space for you sounds really thoughtful.”

Megan regarded her quizzically. “Abby, you know how your father is. Do you honestly think I’m making too much of him making decisions like this without even speaking to me?”

“To be perfectly honest, I do. Didn’t you leave him years ago because he was being thoughtless and neglectful? Now he’s stepping up to be the kind of man you always said you wanted, and you’re criticizing him for that, too.”

Megan winced. “In other words, I’m being ungrateful and sending contradictory messages.”

“Seems that way to me. As for postponing the wedding because of Connor, don’t let him have that power over you,” Abby pleaded. “If he sees weakness, he’ll use it to get his way. That’s why he’s such a good lawyer. He knows exactly how to exploit his opponent’s weaknesses.”

“It just makes me so sad knowing that I’ve chased him away on a day like today and that he won’t be here for the wedding because he objects to it so strenuously.”

“Forget today. Dad’s more responsible for Connor not being here than you are. As for the wedding, there’s still plenty of time before New Year’s Eve. I imagine the rest of us can be pretty persuasive if we put our minds to it. Connor will be here.”

Megan gave her a wry look. “I’m not sure I want him coming just because you all have ganged up on him and bullied him into it.”

Abby grinned. “What if we make him think it’s his idea?”

Megan shook her head. “Christmas is a time of miracles, but I doubt if you can pull that off even then.”

Amazingly, with the house filled with so many people, virtually no one mentioned Connor or his absence. Even when Jeff arrived with his family and Thomas showed up moments later, Connor’s name never crossed anyone’s lips. Megan suspected they’d been warned to avoid the subject. It was a rare display of sensitivity from a family known for blurting out whatever was on their minds.

Though she was grateful not to have Connor’s actions dissected, Megan felt guilty knowing that they were censoring themselves because of her. Worse, she couldn’t get past the image of Connor somewhere all alone on a holiday. Hopefully he was at least sharing the day with friends. She hadn’t even given up on the hope that he’d have a change of heart and join them.